Perverted Naruto II - The Pervert Strikes Back

AN: Oh hi guys. Whats going on in here. It's been awhile... like over 6 years. I'd like to give you a good excuse but I'm lazy. I played lots of WoW for a time then I was catching up on games I didn't play while doing that. Plus a whole heap of procrastination.

I also haven't written anything since then either so I'm pretty rusty and you'll be able to tell. Anyway Naruto has been pretty serious lately and I've been watching/reading High School DxD and Maken Ki! so I was like "Need more perverted Naruto!" I've got a couple of more snippets in my head after this lot but we'll see how things go.

Oh... No real order again... just write as the pop into my head.


Naruto Surpasses All Other Eye Techniques!

He was finally complete. After many dedicated years of research, trial and error he had created his forbidden eye technique to surpass all other eye techniques. The Byakugan's ability to see three hundred and sixty degrees and to see the Tenketsu along the chakra pathway system? Useless before his new eyes. The Sharingan's clarity of perception, memorisation of techniques and almost ridiculous usage of genjustu? Not even close to the pure awesomeness that his new eyes bought forth. The Rinnegan's ability to use all forms of nature transformation and even control life and death? Powerless before his ultimate eyes.

Naruto began to cackle like a madman, all his hard work had finally paid off. He hadn't even bothered to name this fearsome new eye technique, he didn't even want other people to know of its existence. If knowledge of its existence and capabilities were to become known it could make him the target of many people. Some would attempt to steal its secrets, others to attempt to end his life for its creation and stop the spread of such a fearsome weapon. As Naruto began to open his eyes females around the Elemental Nations began to quiver in fear as he began to plot its unleashing upon an ignorant world.

The mad cackling ceased as a perverted leer stretched across his face, he hadn't seen his 'baachan' in a while.

15 minutes later.

Naruto leaped through the Hokage's window, activating his new eye technique while calling out to Tsunade.

"Yo Tsunade-baachan…" He trailed off, almost freezing stiff at what he saw.

Tsunade was leaning against the wall while the ANBU Yugao Uzuki was standing at attention giving her a report on some mission she had just returned from. It was at this moment when Naruto discovered the weakness of his newly created eye technique.

"As big as I remember..." he trailed off after glancing at Tsunade before his vision moved to Yugao.

His eyes widended fractionally as she filled his vision.

"ANBU armor doesn't do her justice." He mumbled to himself before falling backwards out the windows with a trail of blood trickling out his nose.

His new eye that penetrated only the clothes of ladies was a terrifying technique indeed. He would need more training he decided as he hit the deck below the Hokage's windows.

Inside Tsunade and Yugao just looked at each other questioningly.

"What the…?"


Pein's Attack

Nagato blinked as he felt five of his path's connections disappear in an instant. The jolt from the shock of this happening almost made him lose his connection to his last path as well. He focused his attention on this remaining path so he could figure out what had gone wrong.

While Nagato could see everything from all his paths at once and even get feedback from their other senses he normally focused most of his attention on his Deva path. Yahiko's path. Subconsciously it was his way of letting Yahiko to continue living.

When he fully focused on his remaining path, the Animal Path, his mouth fell open in shock causing Konan to look at him strangely.

The loss of his paths had happened so fast that he hadn't been able to see it coming or even figure out what had happened. He was now getting data from his Animal Path and he couldn't believe what was happening to it currently. His five other paths lay unmoving on the ground with their control rods removed and no visible damage to any of the bodies while a pair of arms were wrapped around his Animal Path's stomach trading it's arms to its body with surprising strength.

"So I've been training with the Toads. Just imagine what my tongue could do to you now!"

A very feminine squeak emanated from his animal path as his current target was whispering things into its ears.

"I'm a guy!" his path managed to squeeze out in a cute tone of voice. Both Nagato's and his path's bodies stiffened as hands began to glide up its body before cupping something it shouldn't have.

"If you're a guy where do I get a set of these?" Naruto teased gently into the paths ear again causing it and Nagato to shiver as it was spoken with a light breath gently blowing into its ear.

Nagato's mind shutdown at the sensory overload from being fondled and seduced by a guy.

Konan who was beside Nagato as this point just looked at him confusedly as he was mumbling to himself.

"I'm and Guy!" and "Where are you touching me?!" His voice seemed oddly feminine as he spoke for some reason as well.


Pein, Konan & Naruto Meet Face to Face.

Nagato couldn't face Naruto. He had is eye's glancing downward and a light blush on his cheeks. Naruto though it would have been cute if it had been on a female. It's a shame the Animal Path he was holding wasn't the one looking like that.

He glanced across to the other occupant of the room. It was a very attractive female from the small part he could see. The Akatsuki cloaks really didn't do the female form any favors. Grinning to himself internally he activated his most deadly technique. His as of yet unnamed eye technique.

He tried to stop the widening of his eyes but was unable to stop them from moving some as he saw what was below the Akatsuki cloak. The female in the room had a killer body, one of the best he had seen. And with Jiraiya as his mentor for so many years he had seen more than a few.

Naruto slowly deactivated his eye technique so he could concentrate better and yet made sure to burn this figure into his mind.

"So…" he drawled slowly, "You hate us, we hate you. Let's put that all behind us shall we." He paused for dramatic effect. "Who's up for a threesome?"

Three jaws dropped open. Nagato was so shocked his jaw had even dropped open on his Animal Path.

"Sorry man." Naruto continued while looking at Nagato. "I'm not into guys so you'll have to watch."

He grinned like an idiot before continuing. "That's kind of exciting for everyone though so you might end up enjoying it."

Nobody had yet to recover from their shock as Naruto sat the Animal Path down next to Konan before removing her cloak.

"Let's sweat out our grievances with each other!" Naruto exclaimed.

A trickle of blood started to trickle out of the shocked Nagato's nose at the scene they laid before him. Maybe the boy was right and he would enjoy becoming a voyeur. His mind seemed to have been broken but this unpredictable boy.


The Kage Summit

Tsunade was shifting uncomfortably at the table. It wasn't that she was surrounded by some of the most powerful ninja in the elemental nations. It wasn't even some of the arguments that had been going on and the threat that they might turn to violence. It had to do with one of her guards, one Uzumaki Naruto.

In all the time she had known him he had never look so serious. There was an almost unearthly glow coming from his eyes as they fixated on one member of the meeting. The Mizukage. It was a searching stare she was finding hard to decipher. She hoped he wasn't about to cause some incident that would cause large diplomatic repercussions.

As for Naruto himself there was a reason he was staring so intently. His secret eye technique was active and he was documenting every exquisite detail of one Mizukage into his head. He really was a genius. This technique would have made Ero-sennin so proud. He could see him now on hands and knees begging to be taught.

In any case he was tiring of the constant bickering of most of the Kage's so he decided it was time to end the arguing and take important matters into his own hands.

All speaking stopped and all the Kage guards when on the defensive when Naruto jumped and landed onto the able with a bang right in front of the Mizukage. She had stood up when he had jumped and he lowered his head to her level so he was looking directly into her eyes.

"Marry me." He said plainly while continuing to stare into her eyes.

"Ok" she responded before actually thinking about what he had said. "Wait… what…?" she stumbled out as her face started turning red with embarrassment.

All other occupants of the meeting outside of the Konoha party where staring with their mouths hanging open. Tsunade had he hand planted on her face after she had slapped it there in resignation while Kakashi was grinning like a loon and giving him the thumbs up.

"What's there to think about? This crazy world has left it to long for a man to snap one such as you up. It's time I set this world straight!" Naruto responded, trying to look heroic and chivalrous.

The Mizukage's guards had totally different reactions. Chojuro had slumped to the ground foaming at the mouth. Ao reacted in rage at the disrespect that was being shown to his leader.

"How dare you show such disrespect to our Mizukage you…" He trained off at the look the Mizukage was giving him.

"Ao, be quite or I'll kill you." She spoke those words calmly with a terrifying smile on her face before turning to Naruto. Her face switched to an embarrassed smile when she looked at him.

"How many children did you want to have? We need to start soon!"


Claiming Kyuubi's Chakra

Naruto opened his eyes to once again be surrounded by the sewer that resided in his mind. With the help of Bee he had arrived here to attempt to take some control over the Kyuubi's chakra. It was as dark and depressing as he remembered.

"Man, you should really fix this place up fuzzball." He joked lightly with the giant fox that was seated behind the bars.

"No arguments here." The giant fox responded. "But that's up to you. I don't have control over anything in here. Some nicely scantily clad serving girls would be great if you get a chance." He comment lightly.

Naruto's eyes took on a serious glint. "Busty or petite?"

The Kyuubi looked to ponder such an important question. "A few of both. I don't like to discriminate. A few more busty wouldn't hurt though."

The serious look in Naruto's eyes changed to a respectful look. "A wise choice. I think we could get along…"

Naruto was cut off when the Kyuubi let out a yelp as he was surrounded and pinned down by chains of what seemed to be chakra. He spun around to see where they were coming from and was meant with an astonishing sight.

There was a woman standing there. Long flowing red hair, excellent figure and a beautiful smile upon her face as she looked at him. He gave the Kyuubi an apologetic look before he moved quickly to her side.

"Naruto, I've come to help…" Kushina opened her mouth to speak only to get a few words out before being interrupted by an excited Naruto.

"Who are you?" he spoke quickly before continuing "No wait, Let me guess!"

Kushina smiled indulgently at him as he spoke rapidly.

Naruto's face seemed to ponder some things before he open his mouth to speak.

"You are quite obviously my minds creation of the perfect woman!" he crowed triumphantly. "I mean look at you! My mind is a fricking genius to create such perfection!"

Kushina's indulgent smile slipped from her face to be replaced with a shocked look and a slight pinking of her cheeks.

"Naruto wait I'm..."

Kushina was cut off once again by her perverted son.

"So how do we do this? Can I summon a bed in this place? Do you mind if the Kyuubi watches… no wait, my mind created you so of course you don't care. Besides the big guy needs some entertainment after being locked up so long!"

The shocked and lightly blushing look on Kushina's face was slowly being replaced by a different sort of red face. Her hair itself almost seemed to be coming alive into the shape of nine flowing tails.

When Naruto's hand slipped around and groped her backside Kushina's temper flared.

"I AM YOUR MOTHER!" she screamed at him as her hair finished coming to life and started sway around behind her while her eyes opened wide in rage. She slammed her fist down on his head causing Naruto to whimper.

You could almost see the steam coming from her ears as she continued. "What did you think you were doing?!"

Naruto scratched his cheek almost embarrassedly. "Well… I was going to see if I could get laid to be honest."

Kushina seemed to freeze in place before mumbling out, "Deal with this yourself, I have one super pervert to hunt down in the afterlife and kill again."

And then she disappeared in an instant taking her chains with her. Silence rained between Naruto and the now free Kyuubi.

"You hit on and copped a feel of you mum" Kyuubi said smugly.

"You would have as well if you could." Naruto snapped back.

"She's not my mum though."

"Did you see her? As if a little blood relations would have stopped you."

Kyuubi was silent for a moment. "Touché."

"Soooo…" Naruto drawled out almost as if nothing had happened. "Redecoration and undoing the seal for free access to your chakra?"

"You keep letting me watch you with the ladies and there won't even be any of my anger in it."

Naruto looked pleased as he raised his hand in a fist towards the Kyuubi. "Bump these knuckles man!"

Kyuubi gently bumped fists with Naruto. "This is going to be the start of a beautiful relationship. The only thing is…" He paused for a moment. "You still hit on your mom." He choked out before he started barking out his laughter.

His laughter was stopped at Naruto's reply. "Did you see that ass? Worth it!"

"Damn it!"


Naruto Vows to Help Sasuke with Itachi.

Sasuke was startled out of his revelry by a presence behind him looking over his shoulder. He had been looking at a picture of his parents but he should have still noticed someone behind him. When he figured out who it was he clenched his teeth as he realised Naruto always seemed to be able to get the drop on him.

He looked back at the picture in silence as he waited for Naruto to speak.

"Who are the people in the picture?" Naruto finally spoke softly.

"My parents." Sasuke spoke back with a subdued tone not taking his eyes from the image.

A firm grip landed on his shoulder before Naruto spoke again. "He will pay." Was the soft words that came from Naruto's mouth.

Sasuke look at him strangely, feeling almost a kinship with him. Maybe Naruto wasn't as bad as he had first thought.

"I can't believe your brother would kill such a fine woman…" Naruto trailed off squeezing Sasuke's shoulder tighter and making him wince slightly.

Naruto abruptly let go of Sasuke and slammed his hands onto the table Sasuke was sitting at.

"Damn that Itachi… damn him to HELL!" Naruto shouted in rage.

Sasuke felt the heavy load on his shoulders lessen lightly. Maybe Naruto wasn't as bad as he had first thought. Maybe he had found a comrade in arms in his struggle to surpass and kill Itachi. Naruto also was an orphan, he could understand Sasuke's pain.

"I could have nailed your fine piece of ass mom and then been like, "DUDE! I nailed your mom!"" A sigh escaped Naruto's mouth before he continued. "But that damn Itachi took that away from me! He took all chances of rubbing that in your face from me! That fucker will pay!"

Sasuke's mouth at this stage was hanging open in shock at the moment while he stared at this crazy bastard. So maybe Naruto wasn't any different from what he had thought.

"And no matter how strong you got it wouldn't have mattered! I would have always won everything we did because, "Dude, I banged your mom!" Tears seeped from Naruto's eyes. "ITACHI YOU HAVE RUINED MY LIFE!"

Sasuke face palmed before getting up and leaving Naruto to his ranting. He really was one crazy perverted bastard.