Author's Note: Just as a far warning, I got the basic idea for this thing when I saw a preview for an assassin game on TV and the CD "Comatose" by Skillet. Every song except for one was an inspiration to this story. Okay now that there is that. I'm letting you continue on with the story. Review please, I'm get a little thrill when I check mail to see someone's actually read this thing and thought enough to tell me what they thought. See ya then! Cheers!

Note: A line break is single that years has went by and three dashes is only a scene change some time has passed but not much. Just so you know! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing sadly to say as it is.

Love's Addiction

He stood in the shadows leaning back against the wall to any one who spotted him; he held an almost lazy air to him as if he didn't have a care in the world. Unfortunately that wasn't the truth, his hands were clenched so tight in the closure of his arms that blood could easily have seeped everywhere, and the firm set of his jaw gave away his rigid grip on the fight for his emotions. He couldn't let her see how this was affecting him, there was no way that he would give her that justification. After all, she was the one that chase to give in to her brother, not him.

He turned his attention towards the double doors as the music changed from "their song" to the melancholy organ wedding march. He kept his fists hidden as he kept his gaze constantly on her. She was radiant in her lace gown and pinned up honey hair, he couldn't deny her that, and if he was honest with himself he knew that he couldn't deny her anything else. As she slowly came closer towards the group of friends, groom, and minister, he caught her eyes daring over to lock with his. She had always been able to find him, even when no one else could. He soften his eyes only for her, pulling a smile, sad smile lifting the corners of her lips he watched a single tear slide down her cheek as she looked back to the man she was marrying.

He remained in his hidden alcove listening to each word rebuilding the walls around his heart once more. He lifted his head to the window at the crack of thunder and flash of lightning echoing his inner turmoil. He turned away from the life he had dreamed of but was refused. Her voice reverberating in his mind with the single sentence that doomed his will power to crumble.

"I do," her voice hitching with the ache of anxiety that everyone else felt but not him, he was once again hollow and meaningless.

Her voice filled his memory as he tugged his black cap brim lower to his face from the storm of water and reporters. He sunk into his coat as much to avoid rain as to finally succumb to the memory from six months ago.

-FLASHBACK-

He stood in front of the blazing fire in the library hearth, his body braced against the marble mantle with a single hand; the falling snow in the window behind him a reminder of the past eight Christmases. He jerked his head away from the fire at the sound of the door opening and the familiar click of her walk. He took in her simple elegant black dress and up swept hair, mentally cursing the man that had held her attention for the last three hours.

"They said that I would find you here," Her voice held the forced back sadness that was evident in the eyes that always reminded him of their first meeting at the sea. He looked back into the fire as he lifted the glass he held to gulp the last of the amber liquid. He couldn't look at her when he already knew what she was going to say. He listened to the click of her shoes as she came up beside him.

"I can only assume that you already know what I'm going to say since you won't look at me, so I'm just going to say it,"

"You don't have to, Lena," he muttered, his voice barely audible from unuse and the hard liqueur.

"Yes, I do; Heero, you're being reassigned from being my bodyguard because I requested it. I'm marrying Malcolm and I can't be a dutiful wife with you here. Lady Une's sending you to what ever colony you choose to be bodyguard to some other delegate…"

"No," he cut her off and startling a soft sob out of her.

"Heero, I can't be split between my husband and you; I'd choose you. I can't live like that,"

"Stop, Relena; I won't be anyone's bodyguard. The minute you say 'I do' I'm quitting Preventors. I'll remain your bodyguard until then. Don't put me in a position of being around you constantly and not being able to even touch your hand. Une already knows about my terms,

"How did you know Malcolm was going to propose?" she whispered bringing her hand up to her lips, the glint of the fire catching on the cut diamond and sending sparks of color everywhere.

"I saw the signs, and I knew I couldn't stay here. Protecting the woman married to another man,"

"I'm so sorry, Heero, it's just…"

"This is the best choice; he's the best choice. Your fiancé will be wondering where you went, and don't worry Kevin and Johnson will remain your security for the night, I won't interfere. Now, go before he comes looking for you," He turned away from her to stare back into the fire's hypnotic dance. Out of the corner of his eye he watched her start to touch him but pulled her hand back and up to the clasp of her necklace.

"I want you to have this, so you can always remember the good times that we had together," she muttered as she laid the silver heart-shaped locket on the mantle next to the empty glass and his hand. She then turned away the soft click of the door started the dominos of his crumbling to the floor, nearly falling into the fireplace.

-END FLASHBACK-

He had never told her the real reason as to how he had known that she would marry the Senator that had been an understood secret between her brother and himself. Zechs wanted her to marry Malcolm and to stay far away from him, the unpredictable soldier.

His musings were instantly halted at a voice behind him, he hadn't heard it in a long time. He glanced over his shoulder staring at the insignia of crossed rifle and bayonet on the left arm of the black trench coat. The red hair that stuck out from the man's black beanie put a startling contrast to his complete attire of black. He stared into the bottle green eyes looking over the top of his sunglasses.

"Well…well, you survived the war after all. Of course, I knew you would, you were Odin's little pet,"

"What do you want, Leo?"

"Heero, I'm hurt; you act as if you don't want to see me," Leo smirked as he came up to sling his arm around Heero's shoulders. He started to walk along with the dark haired comrade.

"I've not seen you in fifteen years, and you picked the wrong day to appear," Heero growled.

"Yes, I had almost forgotten you did have a thing for the blonde chick, but that's over now isn't it? Why don't you come back to family? Serena's missed you terribly, and since we've grown up she may have more on her mind than playing with dolls," Leo drawled slowly.

"What have you got in mind?" Heero asked looking back from the church behind them. He spotted the knowing lift of Leo's head and grin.

"Let's just say I've missed my brother's excellent aim," his green eyes glinted.

Heero looked back to the church in the distance as the bells called out the finale of the celebrated ceremony. He watched the doors open and the newly married couple come out followed by the rest of the procession. His eyes narrowed into hard pools of blue.

"I'm up for a family reunion," he muttered to himself.

"Excellent," Leo smirked.

Duo watched his good friend get in the limozine with her new husband, her plastic smile clear to everyone who really knew her. He absently shook his head, he still couldn't believe what was happening. He heard from Wu Fei this morning that Heero was quitting Preventors and he had just been part of Relena's marriage to the man that he never dreamed of her even dating. He spotted two particular figures farther down the street, he recognized one of them by his stance but what puzzled him was the friendly nature of the other's arm being slung over his friend's shoulder as they turned away together. He gulped as the limo turned to go by them and his friend watched the black vehicle's every movement. His own heart clenched in his chest as the two lovers were separated in more than one way.

"Duo, you alright?" Hilde asked coming up behind her husband to rest her cheek on his shoulder.

"Yeah, but I have a feeling it's going to be a long time before we hear from Heero again, Babe; a very long time,"

"I still can't believe Relena agreed to marry Malcolm and not Heero. Why would she do that?"

"Heero asked her to marry him? When?" he turned his gaze to her.

"Yeah, last New Year's Eve,"

"He stayed with her even after she declined; what were you thinking, Buddy?"

"She didn't technically say no to him; she said that it wasn't the time for them in public, they evidently stayed together even up until today. I haven't seen him all day," Hilde explained.

"He was here, he didn't leave until she said I do. I just saw him with some guy, they acted like they knew each other. Heero, Buddy, why did you let her go?"

"Because I told him to, and he agreed that he wasn't the right man for her to marry,"

Duo and Hilde looked back to see Zechs coming out of the church.

"I can't believe you, they love each other. I know you saw the look in their eyes when they looked at each other. Don't deny it," Duo fumed.

"What I saw was two people that held a sexual infatuation with each other finally see their true places. Relena doesn't belong with him, he's a former assassin and the opposite of her ideals,"

"You're something, y'know?" Duo clamped his mouth shut before he could say anything else.


He laid on his bed staring at the ceiling as the drugs started to take affect. He lifted his arm and his knife to cut a deep slash on it, then again and again. He couldn't feel it and that was all he wanted; the complete numbness to everything around him, and in him. He let his head roll to the side as the dark red serum dripped down to splat on his scared and naked chest, his hollow gaze caught sight of the silver chain dangling from the corner of his open laptop. His eyes followed the delicate links to find the heart-shaped silver locket. He cut the next gash deeper than all the others, finally feeling the metal rip his skin. He turned away from the single thing of complete and utter pain, to see his knife. He continued to stare at the bed as he absently heard the door open then close.

"What the hell? Heero, what…"

A young woman cried as she ran over to the side and took the knife from his lifeless fingers. She framed his face forcing him to look at her. She glanced over her shoulder for just a moment at the sound of running feet.

"Serena, what's with the yelling?"

"He's done it again, Leo. Why does he do it?" the blonde woman questioned as she looked back to the man before her.

"I don't know, Rena, I don't know," he muttered as he looked over to the locket gleaming in the light from the window. He shook his head as he left Serena to go about the routine of bandaging him up. For the past four years its been like that, he goes out on a job higher than a kite in March wind and comes back to try and kill himself. He just didn't understand his brother anymore, of course he was always unstable since they were kids he had known him to fall into a deep depression and Odin had been the only one to get him out of it. His depressions seemed worse now like he was desperate to get away. He glanced to the closed door.

"Could you really have loved her so much that this is what you're reduced to without her?" he muttered.

He turned his attention to the phone in the distance, registering the ring absently. He picked up the receiver to hear a voice that had become familiar over the years.

"Duo, no now's not a good time for him talk…Yeah big time, Serena's in with him now…If you think it's a good idea, I'm game…Ten's good…Yeah, I'll see ya' then," He hung up the phone just as Serena stepped out of the bedroom.

"Who was that?"

"Duo; said that we were invited to a party in honor of their third kid's birthday. Duo mentioned it may be good for him,"

"Are you sure about that? Leo, Heero's not well,"

"He's beyond one help, Rena; I'm sure it has to do with his time away with us, when he was with them,"

"And you think bringing him back to them will help? Leo…"

"He's getting worse, maybe this could help. Just don't tell him where we're going. He'll run, I know him," Leo muttered urgently. Serena sighed her disapproval but consented with a nod.

He stared out the window of the car as the buildings went by in a blur, normally he would put up worse of a fight when someone wouldn't tell him where they were going, but he just didn't care anymore. He couldn't find any thing to care about anymore, even sex with Serena didn't make him feel anything more than the heady dose of ease for his sexual frustration. Nothing was worth living for since she was taken from him. he stared out to the strangers on the sidewalks as her face appeared before him instead of his own reflection in the glass, he could feel the icy silver locket start to burn into his flesh causing him to press a hand over the area. He took a closer inspection of his surroundings as the car came to a stop.

He slowly stepped out at Serena's small shove on his shoulder. He fell behind Leo and Serena as they approached the restaurant, his hands stuffed deep in his trench coat pockets. He glared at the employee when the man tried to take his coat, the boy instantly shrank away.

"Why are we here?" he growled.

"Because you need a decent meal; that's why?"

"I do…not," his words faded when he looked up at the multitude of voices. He froze at the sight of seven people that he didn't even want to see again, one in particular. None of them had noticed them yet as they were paying attention to the birthday boy and his two other siblings. He instantly started to back up never taking his gaze from the brunette woman between Wu Fei and Trowa. She was laughing at the youngest Maxwell as he danced around. He spun around instantly when her eyes snapped up to lock with his.

"Stay away from me," he growled at Leo and Serena when they tried to stop him. They spotted the cold and heartless glare that they knew he possessed when on a job. They instantly backed off as he stormed out the restaurant.

"Heero," the soft whisper beside them turned their attention. Serena held her arm out stopping the other woman from following him.

"He's not safe to be around right now," she stated.

"I've never been afraid of him; I won't start now," she added shoving past her and out after the man. Serena looked back to Leo to see his slight nod. Leo looked up to catch Duo's eye. He watched the man shake his head in a message not to follow them, Leo nodding his consent and leading Serena away from the group that still hadn't noticed the disappearance of their "Dove of Peace".

He had to get away from them, away from her. He couldn't fight her off anymore, with as many walls that he put up the simple act of seeing her was like a sledge hammer to them and they came crashing down. He knew it was her, it didn't matter what she put on, he could always tell. He spotted the bar up ahead of him and made a beeline for it.

She didn't know why she was chasing after him, she just was. Yes, she did; she was tired of being someone else. She wanted to feel alive again, not the doll she'd become since marrying Malcolm, and she could find that in his arms.

She watched the familiar shadow in the dieing light go into the bar. She paused just long enough to toss her jacket into the dumpster beside her then to unbutton the top two buttons of her white blouse to reveal creamy flesh and the tantalizing portion of white lace. She glanced down to her knee length skirt and sighed, she couldn't do anything about it. She started to head towards the bar but stopped one more time at the sight of the clothing store still open. She instantly made a beeline for it. She had to money, if there was one thing she'd learned it was to keep her money on her not in her pocket book.

He wasn't good and drunk but he was well on his way. He couldn't believe that they had brought him to where they were. He tipped his head back to let the amber liquid slide down the back of his throat, he felt the burn all the way down. He absently registered the drunken catcalls to his right as he filled his shot glass up again. He froze, the glass half-way to his mouth, when the familiar perfume of jasmine reached his dulled nose. He turned his head to watch a brunette sit down on the bar stool next to him. his eyes followed the red hem of her sleek dress ride up higher to mid-thigh, exposing the creamy flesh, his eyes snapped up to lock with a pair of impish sea-green. He set the shot glass down on the bar for her to reach over pointedly with her left hand. He noticed the absence of the diamond and wedding band, and knew what was in her mind. He looked back up to watch her expertly take the shot of whiskey. She leaned in closer giving him a generous portion of flesh.

"Make me feel alive, Heero," she whispered before nibbling on his ear.

That simple sentence set him on edge. He grabbed her hand and stood. He nodded to the bartender as he took the bottle in his other hand. He had already paid for it. She stepped up closer to him as they left the bar and into the darkness.

END CHAPTER

Author's Note: Okay, this is a question out to everyone who reads this. There is a section that can go right after this chapter that will be a LEMON but I will only put it up if there are a few people out there that would want to read it. Especially since I haven't even written the thing yet, but I will if there are enough out there that would want it. It would be fine without it in the story…it'd just have a little bit of more about the locket between Heero and Relena, possibly… Well, enjoy! And please remember to review. I like reviews! ((big grin))