Not that Bright
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. If I did, Naruto would have a way cooler outfit. I like orange, but come on, it's a jogging suit for crying out loud! Heck, he looks twice as cool just by unzipping the front of the jacket.
Author's Note: I want to give a special thanks to my editor blackdragon71425.
Naruto was ecstatic. He was thrilled. He may very well have even been a little giddy. This was beyond all doubt the happiest day of his life. He had finally reached his dream and become the Sixth Hokage of Konohagakura. He now sat at a large, round table with all of his closest friends and advisors, the Konoha 11.
Naruto smiled brightly as he looked around the gathering of his friends. To his right sat Sakura. Next to her were Ino, Choji, and Shikamaru. Neji, Lee, and Ten ten's group was next. Finally there was Team 8: Kiba, Shino, and Hinata sitting on Naruto's left. These were the people that had supported him and helped him reach this lofty position.
Sasuke was the only one of the old crew that was not present. As it turned out, going rogue automatically disqualified you from holding a variety of positions in the village, including advisor to the Hokage. There were only certain positions open to him now. These included Chunin Exam Proctor, Counter Infiltration Advisor, Field Manual Revisionist, Chief of Sanitation, and Chair on the Konoha Women's Comity. Out of these, only Chief of Sanitation and Chair on the Konoha Women's Comity had openings.
Surprisingly Sasuke chose to apply for the Chair on the Konoha Women's Comity. Perhaps even more surprisingly, at least to the male population of the village, was that he got it. He explained this odd decision by telling everyone that he believed that it would help him with his goal of restoring his clan by letting him meet more women.
Naruto, however, believed that it was just because Sasuke liked the bake sales.
But that is neither here not there. Let us return to our story of a revelation that just produced more questions…
The group had gathered together with the intent of helping Naruto put together new policies for the village. Naruto, however, was not about to let a little work ruin his crowning achievement. It was his first day on the job, he should be enjoying it. So far he had managed to avoid letting any real work get done. He had managed to keep steering conversation back to old adventure and fun times. Neji, being the enemy of fun that he is, was making that quite difficult by reminding everyone what they were suppose to be doing.
At last, the moment that Naruto had been delaying for arrived with a knock on the door. The others were quite surprised that someone was interrupting what was supposed to be a very important meeting. Naruto being Naruto ignored their questions as he rushed to fling open the doors revealing a cart with a large cake and drinks on it.
"Naruto, what is going on?" a rather annoyed looking Sakura asked as she saw the cart.
Naruto grinned sheepishly as he scratched the back of his head. He could see mixed expressions of annoyance, confusion, and curiosity. Choji's eyes were practically glued to the cake. "I though that since it was my first day as Hokage and all…that we could have a party," he said ending a little weakly under Sakura's withering glare.
"Naruto, you're the Hokage now, you can't just put off work to hold a party. You have responsibilities," Sakura said in exasperation. Of course that was only on the outside. Inner Sakura was shouting to have a party and cut loose.
"Sakura is right, we are here to work," Neji said in agreement with Sakura. His lack of enthusiasm seemed to be draining it out of everyone else that might wish for a break.
Except for one person.
"No, Naruto is right!" Rock Lee shouted as he leapt onto the table. "We should take this wondrous occasion to indulge our youthfulness!" he told the others as he struck his "nice guy" pose, complete with thumbs up. The shine from his teeth was almost blinding.
Naruto smiled widely as he looked up at Lee. I new I could count on Fuzzy Brows for support, he though to himself. "Come on guys, let's have some fun."
Everyone's eyes fallowed Naruto's to Sakura. She realized that they were waiting for her response. She was the one that could rein Naruto in, so she was the one that would have the final word on this issue. As everyone looked at her (Naruto, Choji, and Lee rather pleadingly), Inner Sakura won out. With a shrug and a grin she said, "Well, he is the Hokage, so what he wants goes."
The party was quickly under full swing. Everyone was mingling and enjoying the cake. Choji was managing to eat half of the cake on his own. Neji and Ten Ten were doing everything they could to keep Lee away from the sake. Ino and Kiba were engaging Shikamaru and Shino in conversation, respectively, against their wills.
Naruto had congregated with Sakura and Hinata. Sakura was telling a story from her days as Tsunade's apprentice while Naruto and Hinata were enjoying the cake. As the story reached its climax the two let out a laugh. Naruto's was a loud guffaw, while Hinata's was more of a shy chuckle. Naruto turned his head at Hinata's laugh and noticed that she had some of the pink cake frosting on the corner of her mouth. He was not about to let any of the cake frosting go to waste (it really was good cake frosting).
"Hinata, you have some frosting on the corner of your mouth," was the only warning that Naruto offered her before he acted. In his defense, he had had a moderate amount of sake. His already limited ability to control his impulses had been quite stripped down. Naruto leaned forward and whipped the small amount of frosting from the corner of Hinata's mouth then licked it from his finger.
"Naruto! That's rude!" Sakura exclaimed as she slapped him upside the head.
"Sorry, sorry," he said in his defense. Both of them had turned away from Hinata. They had forgotten about the subject of what would likely prove to be a loud (and in Naruto's case painful) argument.
Hinata could not believe it. Naruto had actually touched her. In fact, he had touched her mouth. His fingers had brushed her lips enough that she could have given his finger tip a kiss…
"N-naruto…" Hinata exclaimed as the images of her kissing him danced in her head. This caused Naruto and Sakura to turn their attention back to her. They discovered that she had turned a shade of red that would have made a tomato envious. This was a new shade even for the chronically shy girl. She had her fingers to the place where Naruto had cleaned off the frosting. Before she could add any more to the statement her lavender eyes rolled back and she fainted.
Sakura got down on her knees to take care of the poor girl. Naruto was simply trying to not panic. He was failing miserably. This of course attracted everyone else's attention. With a crowd now gathered around, Sakura decided that Hinata would do better to recover in the quiet comfort of an empty room at the medical center.
"I'm going to take Hinata to get some treatment," Sakura said as she lifted the unconscious girl. This was easy with her monstrous, chakra enhanced strength (not that anyone was going to point that out to her).
After Sakura carried the unconscious Hinata out the door, it was Naruto that broke the silence, "Poor Hinata, I wonder why she faints like that all of the time. Is she anemic?"
Everyone just looked at him dumbfounded. Was it possible that he really did not understand why? There was no way that he could be that oblivious, could there? Kiba was the first to find his voice and express his thoughts on the subject.
"Man, are you kidding? She has a huge crush on you!" he said holding his arms wide apart to make his appoint.
"Huh?" Naruto said, as he turned to face Kiba and the rest of his friends, "What are you talking about?"
"He really doesn't get it," Ino stated in exasperation as the truth was made ever so painfully clear. Neji and Kiba could only lower their heads in shame as they wondered how this guy managed to kick their collective asses. Shikamaru, who new the new Hokage better than any of the others in the room (not a fact he was overly fond of) and was not as surprised as he thought he really should be. This meant that they would have to explain it him.
Two hours, forty-five minutes, eight headaches, three diagrams, seven bottles of sake, and a puppet show later…
"You mean…all of this time…I never knew…" Naruto let the words roll out of his mouth as he tried to wrap his mind around this knew information. Never in his wildest dreams did he ever think that the Hyuga heiress had a crush on him. "Why didn't anyone tell me about this?"
"We all thought it was pretty obvious. I thought you might be leading her on or were hoping she would go find someone else," Shino stated in his deadpan tone. The others nodded their heads in agreement.
"I've got to go see her," Naruto finally exclaimed after a moment. Finally, he had found a woman that liked him for being himself. He could not just let this pass him by. He turned and ran towards the doors shouting, "I'm coming Hinata, I'm coming. Dattebayo!"
The others all watched as their "glorious leader" went charging off to find his true love… in the wrong direction. They all sat back down. Some started to consume copious amounts of sake to drown the thought that they had to take orders from someone as oblivious as Naruto. Choji (because he was not about to let good food go to waste) and Lee (because Ten Ten and Neji refused to let him have sake) decided that cake was the solution to life's little problems.
Finally, it was Shikamaru that broke the silence with a single, yet poignant question, "Would someone please explain to me how the HELL did that idiot get picked to be Hokage over me?!"
Authors Note: This was originally supposed to be a really short story with a big joke at the end. However, as I was writing it, it just grew. I had to try and add more jokes to it just so it would not just be a long joke at the end.