Boromir and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

I went to sleep with my dagger at my side, and now there's a scratch on my arm, and when I got out of bed this morning I tripped on my bow, and my mistake I dropped my tunic in the washbasin while it was full, and I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

At breakfast, we had gruel without flavoring, I spilled the cream, and the cat scratched my leg.

I think I'll move to Dol Amroth.

During the Council Meeting, Father let Prince Imrahil have a seat by the window. Forlong and Hirluin got seats by the window too. I said I was being scrunched. I said I was being smushed. I said, if I don't get a seat by the window I am going to vote for increased taxes when I am of age. No one even answered.

I could tell it was going to be terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

During school hours, Hurin liked Faramir's picture of Narsil better than my illustration of Isildur wearing the Ring.

At singing time he said I sang too loud.

When looking at my battle plans, he said I neglected the defense of the bridge. Who needs the bridge?

I could tell it was going to be terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

I could tell, because Elphir said that I wasn't his best friend anymore. He said that Elchirion was his best friend and that Barachir was his next best friend and that I was only his third best friend.

I hope you fall off your horse, I said to Elphir. I hope the next time you're in archery training your arrow misses the target and lands in Dol Amroth.

At the mid-day meal, Derufin showed me his hunting horn with a little deer engraved on the side, and Damrod showed me his silver horn with a baldric of green, and Anborn showed me his horn which was set with runes of great virtue. Guess who's father says he can't have the Great Horn until he is older?

It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

That's what it was, because when I went to the Houses of Healing to visit mother, the Healers said she was sleeping. Come back tomorrow, and you can see her, said Ioreth.

Tomorrow, I said, I'm moving to Dol Amroth.

On the way downstairs my horse stepped on my foot and while we were waiting for the servants to bring the carriage around Faramir made me fall where where it was muddy and when I became angry because of the mud Faramir said I would never become Captain-General if I didn't learn to control my temper, and while I was punching Faramir to toughen him against bullies my Father came back and scolded me for being muddy and fighting someone smaller than myself.

I am having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day, I told everybody. No one even answered.

So then we went to the armory to buy swords. Father chose Gondorian make without adornment. Faramir chose Elven-make with the moon and stars engraved on the hilt. I chose Dwarven-make with a hilt shaped as a hideous head but then the smith said, We're all sold out. They made me buy a plain old broadsword, but they can't make me use it.

When we stopped by Father's office he said I couldn't play with his signet ring, but I forgot. He also said to watch out for the books on his desk, and I was careful as could be except for my elbow. He also said don't fool around with the palantir, but I think I called Minas Morgul. My Father forbade me to come back to his office until I was fifteen.

It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

There was cram for dinner, and I hate cram. The minstrel sang the Lay of Luthien, and I hate the Lay of Luthien.

The nurse made me take a bath, I got soap in my eyes, Faramir broke one of my chess pieces, and I had to wear my sissy looking night shirt. I hate my sissy looking night shirt.

When I went to bed Nurse made me give back the pillow Faramir said I could keep, the bedside candle went out, and I bit my tongue.

The cat wants to sleep with Faramir, not me.

It has been a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

Mother says some days are like that.

Even in Dol Amroth.