HOW THE KOOPA STOLE CHRISTMAS
by princesspeach94
I do not own Mario of Dr. Suess or anyone else! Just R&R please.
Characters:
Grinch-Bowser
Max-Mario
Cindy-Lou-Who-Peach
Mice-Luigi and Yoshi
Whos (Toads)-Wario, Waluigi and all the other toads!
Narrator: Me
Now on with the story!
Every Toad
Down in Toad-ville
Liked Christmas a lot...
But the Koopa (Bowser),
Who lived just North of Toad-ville,
Did NOT!
Bowser: Yes I do! Who doesn't like presents?
Me: You do! This is a rehearsal for this year's Christmas play! I thought I told you to get into character! Now will you let me continue?
Bowser: Fine but I get paid overtime for this!
Me: I never pay you.
Bowser: Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…
Me: Anyway…
Bowser hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be that his head wasn't screwed on quite right.
It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that his heart was two sizes too small.
Bowser: Stop making fun of me!
But,
Whatever the reason,
His heart or his shoes,
He stood there on Christmas Eve, hating the Toads,
Staring down from his cave with a sour, grinchy frown
At the warm lighted windows below in their town.
For he knew every Toad down in Toad-ville beneath
Was busy now, hanging a mistleoe wreath.
"And they're hanging their stockings!" he snarled with a sneer.
"Tomorrow is Christmas! It's practically here!"
Then he growled, with his koopa fingers nervously drumming,
"I MUST find a way to keep Christmas from coming!"
For, tomorrow, he knew...
Bowser: Why do I have to talk in rhyme?
Me: I don't know I didn't write it! Just say your lines or we'll never get done!
...All the Toad girls and boys
Would wake up bright and early. They'd rush for their toys!
And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the noise! Noise! Noise! Noise!
That's one thing he hated! The NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!
Bowser: Can you stop repeating yourself it's getting annoying.
Me: …
Then the Toads, young and old, would sit down to a feast.
And they'd feast! And they'd feast!
And they'd FEAST! FEAST! FEAST! FEAST!
They would start on Toad-pudding, and rare Mushroom-roast-beast
Which was something Bowser couldn't stand in the least!
Bowser: Come on! You have to admit that's gross! Toad pudding and Mushroom-roast-beast?
And THEN
They'd do something he liked least of all!
Every Toad down in Toad-ville, the tall and the small,
Would stand close together, with Christmas bells ringing.
They'd stand hand-in-hand. And the Toads would start singing!
Waluigi: I can't sing!
Wario: Neither can I!
Waluigi: I can't do this thing!
Wario: Let's go eat some pie!
Together: Ah! We're rhyming!
They'd sing! And they'd sing!
AND they'd SING! SING! SING! SING!
And the more Bowser thought of the Toad-Christmas-Sing
The more Bowser thought, "I must stop this whole thing!
"Why for thirty years I've put up with it now!
I MUST stop Christmas from coming!
...But HOW?"
Bowser: Don't say it…
Me: HAHA! YOU'RE THIRTY! LOL
Bowser: Ok moving on…
Then he got an idea!
An awful idea!
BOWSER
GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!
"I know just what to do!" Bowser laughed in his throat.
And he made a quick Santa Claus hat and a coat.
And he chuckled, and clucked, "What a great koopa trick!
"With this coat and this hat, I'll look just like Saint Nick!"
"All I need is a reindeer..."
Bowser looked around.
But since reindeer are scarce, there was none to be found.
Did that stop the old koopa...? (me: haha old!)
No! Bowser simply said,
"If I can't find a reindeer, I'll make one instead!"
So he called his dog Mario. Then he took some red thread
And he tied a big horn on top of his head.
Mario: This is beyond embarrassing.
Bowser: Silence my slave!
Mario: I'm not your slave! I'm your dog! Which the costume by the way is very itchy!
Bowser: Hehehe loser.
Me: Sorry Mario have to tourture ya.
Mario: Oh thanks.
THEN
He loaded some bags
And some old empty sacks
On a ramshakle sleigh
And he hitched up old Mario.
Bowser: HAHA see he's old too!
Then Bowser said, "Giddyap (slave)!"
And the sleigh started down
Toward the homes where the Toads
Lay snoozing in their town.
All their windows were dark. Quiet snow filled the air.
All the Toads were all dreaming sweet dreams without care (except Wario and Waluigi)
When he came to the first house in the square.
"This is stop number one," The old Koopa Claus hissed
And he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist.
Then he slid down the chimney. A rather tight pinch.
But if Santa could do it, then so could Bowser.
He got stuck only once, for a moment or two.
Then he stuck his head out of the fireplace flue
Where the little Toad stockings all hung in a row.
"These stockings," he grinned, "are the first things to go!"
Mario: Hehe, need to loose some weight, Bowser?
Bowser: Shut up plummerdog! At least I'm not-what are you doing!?
Me: Mario! Put your leg down and step away from the fire hydrant!
Mario: Whoa! My bad!
Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant,
Around the whole room, and he took every present!
Pop guns! And bicycles! Roller skates! Drums!
Checkerboards! Tricycles! Popcorn! And plums!
And he stuffed them in bags. Then Bowser, very nimbly,
Stuffed all the bags, one by one, up the chimney!
Then he slunk to the icebox. He took the Toads' feast!
He took the Toad-pudding! He took the roast beast!
He cleaned out that icebox as quick as a flash.
Why, that koopa even took their last can of mushroom-hash!
Then he stuffed all the food up the chimney with glee.
"And NOW!" grinned Bowser, "I will stuff up the tree!"
And Bowser grabbed the tree, and he started to shove
When he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove.
He turned around fast, and he saw a small girl!
Little Peach Toadstool, who was not more than two.
Bowser: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Peach: Hey at least I'm not thirty! (Blows snot bubble)
The koopa had been caught (peach: haha) by this little princess daughter
Who'd got out of bed for a cup of cold water.
She stared at Bowser and said, "Santy Claus, (cough, Bowser, cough cough) why,
"Why are you taking our Christmas tree? WHY?"
But, you know, that old koopa was so smart and so slick
He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!
"Why, my sweet little hot, i mean tot! (peach glares at him)" the fake Santa Claus lied,
"There's a light on this tree that won't light on one side.
"So I'm taking it home to my workshop, my dear.
"I'll fix it up there. Then I'll bring it back here."
And his fib fooled the child(or so he thinks). Then he patted her head
And he got her a drink and he sent her to bed.(bowser: bye Peach! Peach: shut up)
And when Peach went to bed with her cup,
He went to the chimney and stuffed the tree up!
Then the last thing he took
Was the log for their fire.
Then he went up the chimney himself, the old liar.
On their walls he left nothing but hooks, and some wire.
And the one speck of food
The he left in the house
Was a crumb that was even too small for a mouse.
Luigi: Too small for a mouse!? Don't you mean too small for a human?
Me: Just eat the crumb!
Luigi: Gross! (licks the floor)
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Luigi: Not funny!
Then
He did the same thing
To the other Toads' houses
Leaving crumbs
Much too small
For the other Toads' mouses!
Yoshi: I never thought about what it would be like to be a mouse. Now I don't wanna find out!
Luigi: No no no! If I had to lick the floor so do you!
Yoshi: Aw man here I go…
It was quarter past dawn...
All the Toads, still a-bed
All the Toads, still a-snooze
When he packed up his sled,
Packed it up with their presents! The ribbons! The wrappings!
The tags! And the tinsel! The trimmings! The trappings!
Three thousand feet up! Up the side of Mount Koopa,
He rode to the tiptop to dump it!
"Boo-hoo to the Toads!" he was koop-ish-ly humming.
"They're finding out now that no Christmas is coming!
"They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do!
"Their mouths will hang open a minute or two
"The all the Toads down in Toad-ville will all cry BOO-HOO! (hehe, imbiciles)"
"That's a noise," grinned Bowser,
"That I simply must hear!"
So he paused. And Bowser put a hand to his ear.
And he did hear a sound rising over the snow.
It started in low. Then it started to grow...
But the sound wasn't sad!
Why, this sound sounded merry!
It couldn't be so!
But it WAS merry! VERY!
He stared down at Toad-ville!
Bowser popped his eyes!
Then he shook!
What he saw was a shocking surprise!
Every Toad down in Toad-ville, the tall and the small,
Was singing! Without any presents at all!
He HADN'T stopped Christmas from coming!
IT CAME!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!
And Bowser, with his koopa-feet ice-cold in the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so?
It came without ribbons! It came without tags!
"It came without packages, boxes or bags!"
And he puzzled three hours, till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before!
"Maybe Christmas," he thought, "doesn't come from a store.
"Maybe Christmas...perhaps...means a little bit more!"
And what happened then...?
Well...in Toad-ville they say
That Bowser's small heart
Grew three sizes that day!
Bowser: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Help me I'm dying!
And the minute his heart didn't feel quite so tight,
He whizzed with his load through the bright morning light
And he brought back the toys! And the food for the feast!
And he...
...HE HIMSELF...!
Bowser, carved the roast beast!
Me: Uh, ok...couple things to work on..ok lets face it we'll never get this by tomarrow.
Bowser: Yes! I still get paid right?
Me: Nope. I just got this on film. I'm gonna send it to everyone's mother for a Christmas gift!
Everyone: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
THE END