A/N: This is just a random thought that popped into my head on a plane. It is a letter that Lily sent Snape in the event of her death. It explains her feelings towards him. Sorry if it sucks, it has been while since I've written something. R&R, please!

Dear Severus

Dear Severus,

If you're reading this, then I am dead. I know that's rather blunt, but there really isn't any other way to put it, so there it is. I've written this letter because I don't think I will ever get the chance to say what I want to say in person. You hurt me too much for that. And besides, this war doesn't really guarantee that I'll live to a ripe old age. But I don't want to leave things the way we did. So I've enchanted this letter to find you upon my death.

Severus, what I wanted to say is that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for all the times I ate your chocolate frogs without asking. I'm sorry for all the times I borrowed and subsequently lost your best quills. I'm sorry for all the times my sister was rude to you. I'm sorry for all the times I chose my other friends over you. But most of all, I'm sorry for all the times I had the chance to tell you how much you meant to me and didn't. You see, we were in a good place at the time. People had stopped bugging me about being friends with a Slytherin and James wasn't being a complete prat for once and we were acing Potions together and I didn't have any over due library books for the first time in years. We were in a really good place. I didn't want to ruin it with my stupid feelings. I know how you feel about feelings.

So I never told you how much I loved your determination and your ambition. I never told you how much I loved the way you curl the corner of the page when you read a book. I never told you how much I loved that secret smile of yours, the one you used to save especially for me. I never told you how much I loved that sparkle you would get in your eyes when you were looking at me and you thought I wasn't looking back. I never told you how much I loved that warm, nervous feeling I would get in my stomach when you would sit just a little too close, or touch my arm just a little too long. I never told you how much I loved everything about you. I never told you a lot of things.

I never told you that I loved you. I should have. Maybe if I had used a little Gryffindor courage and said just the right words, you wouldn't have let the wrong word slip out. But I didn't and you did, and so here we are.

After theā€¦ incident, you came to the dormitory one night and begged for forgiveness. And you almost said something important, but you stopped yourself just in time. I think I know what it was. But you didn't say them, those three words, and I was so tired of waiting for you, Sev, that I decided I couldn't wait for you anymore. It hurt too much. I couldn't forgive you for that word you said and the three you didn't. I couldn't forgive you. And I'm sorry for that as well.

I let go of you, Sev. We could have had something beautiful together, but we messed it up and so I had to stop dreaming and get back to reality. And that's where James came in. He grounded me, kept me in the present instead of in a past that was lost to time and a future that would never be.

I am happy with James, I really am. I love him as much as I loved you and I don't regret loving him or marrying him. What I do regret is that we'll never know what could have happened between us, Sev.

All my love,

Past and present,

Lily