3The way her tears work
"I thought you would be better off without me around..." The sadness seaping through her like poison on a delicate flower.
He stood up, angered at what she had told him. Never was it that difficult for anyone besides him.
"Idiot!" He stood up, a bit too fast and started walking towards her. Stumbling a bit and almost tumbling over until he felt her pressured against him. Her soft hands placed on his chest to keep him from falling over.
"InuYasha! You shouldn't be getting up yet!" The worried tone was noticeable in her voice and it felt like heaven with all the snow around them... This was getting to him. He needed to feel her warmth in his arms. The heat radiating off her body. He pulled her sleeves, making sure she came into his grasp softly. And at that, he heard her small startling gasp.
"...I need you with me, Kagome. Haven't you realized that yet...?" His voice was hoarse and he sounded exhausted. He could feel her tremble in his grasp and a slight shiver was sent down his spine but he still held her close. Finally, that scent was brushed up against his nose...the scent of tears.
Nomatter how tough he was, everytime she had cried...it made him feel uneasy, less active, more determined, and almost brokened. She had a matter of tears that had made him overwhelmed with eagerness to make her feel better. Her tears were made up of her and he didn't want her to go wasting it...and here she was crying it for him. He felt her lean her head down on his shoulder, the pressure of her head pushing softly against him.
"...thank you." Was the response he heard from her. They stood there, lightly holding eachother. As the cold snow fell onto their heated bodies, they had never felt so warm in their entire lives...
That was a while ago. And even to this day does she still have that same effect on him. The tears would fall, his heart would also, and in the end she'd act like nothing happens to make him happy. Was he happy? Of course not. To have the girl he cared so deeply for, cry for him...it was like hell all over again. He wanted her to have her happiness; not his. Even though he greatly wants to share it with her...he also wanted her to be the happiest and delighted person ever. Not just because she should obligate herself for him.
Right now he stood, not able to do anythng as she tears herself away from his embrace. Her tears falling like broken rain. And he didn't know what to do or what to say. Would he let her go like this? She stood before him, ready to leave. From him and everything that has caused her misery. He didn't know what to, or most importantly, what to say. 'Say something, idiot!' He scold himself.
"InuYasha...I'm sorry. I know you have told me many times before that you want me in your life. It's just that...I can't handle that anymore. Being by your side, it's like the heavens are watching me and protecting over me but at the same time, it's like hell burning up inside me to watch you go to Kikyo and then turn back to me like you use me to shield you from all that is staring at you...I don't want to be used, InuYasha. I want to be cared for, and for deeply. I know that I'm probaly being selfish to you, but I can't stay by your side knowing that I'm keeping you from your happiness...so this time, I'd really like it if you just let me be and let me go home...forever..."
"...forever..."
Her words repeated in his mind, trying to comprehend it quite so sternly and not tryng to faint in any way.
"Being by your side, it's like the heavens are watching me and protectng over me but at the same time, it's like hell burning up inside me to watch you go to Kikyo and then turn back to me like you use me to shield you from all that is staring at you..."
The imaginary acid dripped through the delicate flower he once saw in her. That acid: him...
"...I don't want to be used, InuYasha. I want to be care for, and for deeply."
And he never knew that it was he that dripped that acid. He didn't know how to make this better. Then he smelt it. The tears that formed into her eyes. once more. It slowly caressing her face as it glides further down and on her delicate skin.
"I don't know what else to say...I never thought you actually felt that way, Kagome. I didn't even think I would go and make this happen...Seeing your tears run down your face, it put all my thoughts into shuddering and I don't know what to do..."
She stared up into the nightlit sky and thought about her decision...it was for the best.
"I think you should let me go. It's for the best."
And with her single request, he looked at her as tears fell even more. Even though he knew this isn't what she wanted, it was really for the best. Maybe not his best, but for hers. For the first time, he wouldn't be selfish and have her to himself. He would let her go, if it pleased her, he would let her go. But he wants to know, if she was going to ever come back...She said maybe...and that maybe made him satisfied and with one last hug. He let her slowly depart, but not with that hurtful tug at his heart, was he going to let her get away before he can tell her why her tears made him able to do things he never thought of before. He pulled on her hands and hugged her tightly before looking down on her angelic face.
"I think you should know, that before you go...your tears always made me do things I've never thought of before in my life. Do you know why your tears do that?"
She shook her head no.
"It's because...I love you."
And they kissed for mear seconds before he let her cry and whispered she loved him too. Letting her run away from all her misery, he stared at her departing back.
"Goodbye...Kagome."