Alright, so Christmas was kind to me. The pretty laptop that I'm currently typing away on is one of my presents! Ah, now I have a desktop and a laptop. Heh. Anyway, new chapter. Damn you Amber Mardeyn.

Charlie xoxo

Chapter 6- Amber Alert

My only regret is not being there. I don't regret things easily; I never accept the guilt that causes regret in the first place. This time, I do. I wish that, right now, I was a different person and that Jeff loved that person. I wish I was stood right there, waiting for him when he walked through the curtain. If not a different person, I'd love to be myself, not bothering to wait for him to return to the back but to run out and join him in the ring, to hold up his arm as champion, to tell him that he's my champion. Right now, I am not brave Amber, who doesn't give a shit. I am sad, sorry Amber who misses the other half of my heart worse than I miss drinking. Which is a lot.

I only quit because of Jeff, because of how he cried when he'd first visited me. If I wasn't a…drunk, then I'd never have got myself in this mess. He stopped coming around a while ago now. I'd pretend like I'd forgotten the exact amount of time but…whatever. I haven't seen him in four months, two weeks and six days. Which is entirely too long for my liking. After watching Jeff win, I checked my iPhone to see five new text messages; two from Stephanie, one from Estelle, one from Brittany and one from…Jeff?!

Steph (21:13): Amber. Do not watch Armageddon tonight, you hear me? I think I've been overruled. I don't want you hurting, okay? So don't watch it.

(23:10): You better not have just watched that. I know it's such a big night for you to miss, Amber. It'll all be worth it though, you know it will.

Estelle (23:06): Ams, I know you want to be here, so I left some pieces of you with Jeff. I'll be there in the morning, with Tiff and Brit. Love you.

Brittany (22:30): I just taped Jeff up. He talked about you a lot tonight, which is unusual for him. He was wearing the necklace that you bought him, the one he left by your bedside. I think he's going over, fruitcake. I think he's going to do it this time. None of us know the finish. See you tomorrow, love.

Jeff (23:30): I'm glad that you got to be a part of tonight; Estelle left me the necklace you got me, and a couple of photos of us from good times. She said that even though you couldn't be here in person, that you were there in spirit and that you wished you could be there more than any of us can imagine. I wish you could be here more than anybody could imagine, and that's why I wore the necklace to the ring. Mark noticed, he sort of patted my back with a sad smile. I'm sure you don't realise just how many people miss you, Amber. None of them miss you like me. This is getting kind of long now, so I'll guess I'll finish with the most important thing. I love you, and I always will.

I dropped my phone and sat dumbstruck for a minute or two, before running upstairs and packing an overnight bag. I left food out for the dogs, grabbed my car keys and set off into the night.

"Amber?" John opened the door of his hotel room, "I'll go get Tiff?"

"You could always just let me in, John. I can see Tiff's legs behind you. Now hurry up, I can't afford for anybody to see me."

Tiff pushed the door closed behind me, before turning around and hugging me, "I'm sorry you missed it."

I released her with a small smile, "You and me both, darling. Did Jeff say anything about me to you?"

"Yeah, he just mentioned how much he missed you, and how much he regrets proposing to Trandice, stuff like that."


John laughed, "I'll be at the bar if you need me."

"Ah, John's laptop. It's nice to see you again. Gossip sites, please Tiff."

In the last hour, Tiff had filled me in on everything I'd been missing from backstage. I couldn't wait to return; I was almost excited about Jeff getting married so I could ruin it.

Breaking News: Amber Mardeyn alive and well!

A reader of the site has just sent the following email to us:

I'm staying in the same hotel as the superstars and I've just seen Amber Mardeyn arrive and rush up to a room on the fourth floor! No joke! She didn't look remotely ill, but seemed to be in a great hurry, probably to avoid being spotted.

Sorry Amber. She looked hot though, and seemed to be sporting some new ink on her right shoulder.

Wow. If this is true, is a return on the cards for Ms Mardeyn? And just where the hell has she been?

"What the actual fuck, Tiff? Do these people hide in bushes and wait for me to walk past them or something?" I exclaimed, "This could ruin everything."

She shook her head, "Say it was Estelle."

"Estelle's already out and about, probably at club. They'll know that it's a lie. Plus, they saw my tattoo." I nodded towards my shoulder and Tiff gasped;

"It's so pretty!"

I smiled, "I know."

My iPhone buzzed with a new message.

Steph (00:40): Amber. 10AM tomorrow, we're having a meeting with my Dad. Don't be late, it's about your future.

"Well, Tiff, I think our returning query may be answered by 11AM tomorrow." I showed her the mesaage, "Joy."

She shrugged, "I'm still in shock that you got rid of your Sidekick."

I pushed her gently, "Douchenozzle."