We're All Sinners
I could taste the lingering sweet blood on my lips as I tucked Sophie in, despite her desperate protests to stay up a little longer. "What's wrong," she mumbled half-asleep while I ran my fingers through her short curls. She was drifting into unconsciousness even after all her effort to keep her lids open. Every night I sit with her stroking her dark curly locks and it lulls her into her unwanted slumber.
"Nothing," I lied. She pursed her lips; even in her half conscious state she still knew when something is wrong. She sighed and then her breathing came deeper her eyes fully closed and her chest was rising and falling at a steady rhythmic pace. She turned to her side and I walked silently from her room and closed the door behind me.
Who ever sent that vampire needs to get things straight. I don't need to be told anything. I belong to no one and anyone who feels otherwise has some serious issues. Peter. I still yearn for him, my soul cries to his it wants him to come to me and never let go and the rest of me is screaming telling that part of me how stupid it is. Why should I want someone so much especially after that horrible betrayal? He's a stronger vampire than I wish to know and why he changed me other than that immense attraction between the two of us is still a mystery that I don't wish to unravel.
I went into my room tears streaming down my face for the millionth time. My heart is aching with every beat of my misery pumping through my veins. To the contrary to those horrible horror movies I still have a heart beat, although most of the time I wish someone would just rip it from my chest to stop the pain. I brought this feeling of self-loathing on myself for falling in love with him. I slid out of that dress and then my long white-gold necklace hanging low and the ring resting in-between my breasts. I fingered it while I stood in my room and in nothing but my black lingerie and traced the beautiful engagement ring that was slipped on my finger two years ago – the exquisite setting of onyx with intricate white-gold swirls around it.
I finally pulled on some baggy black sweat pants and a pull-over hoodie. I sat on my big bed for hours wallowing in my self inflicted grief and I caught the time – four in the morning. I don't even have the courtesy of sleep any longer, so there is no time when I'm alone that this pain dulls. Then I heard Sophie stir and heard her shuffling footsteps. She walked into my room groggily and came and snuggled up next to me wiping my tears away and giving me a soft kiss on my cheek and snuggled into my embrace. I pulled my thick down comforter over her and me and stroked her hair. She was asleep in seconds. Sophie always makes me feel better even in the simplest ways of just sitting with me whether she's conscious or not. She is so sweet, the sweetest nine-year-old in the world, a few hours went by and it seems to be time to wake her.
"Sophie," I breathed in her ear and she groaned. "Sophie," I murmured again and there was now response. A wicked grin formed on my face and I began to tickle her, "Sophie, Sophie, Sophie," I said and she was trying hard to stop from giggling and even showing a smile. I tickled her harder and her giggles exploded and her eyes opened, "Okay, I'm up. I'm up," and she pushed my hands away sitting up.
I kissed her forehead and said, "Okay go get ready for school," and she stared at me for a moment, "Evie," her voice was angelic, "do I have to go to school. I haven't missed one day yet and it's Friday and I have no tests or homework or…or…" She ran out of excuses. I smiled, "Soph, I don't know, I…" She cut me off. "Please, please, please! I'll be good and I don't want you to cry anymore. Whoever is making you so sad I wish I could punch him in the nose and that would teach him!" She said looking at me with her pleading ice blue eyes. I can't say no to this face. And being with her does make me feel better, more secure that my Sophie Sapphire is safe.
"Alright, but just this once," I said and she smiled her stunning little grin. She snuggled back into me and fell asleep for another hour and then opened her blue eyes and hopped out of bed immediately stretching after landing gracefully on her feet. I followed her out of my room and downstairs into the kitchen. I grabbed her a bowl and poured some Cheerios and left the milk in a small glass on the side, placing both on the breakfast nook and she sat on a stool. She picked at her bowl of dry cereal and took a sip of milk in silence for a moment.
"Why were you crying," she asked after she swallowed and looked at me with probing eyes. "Were you thinking about that big bully, he didn't deserve my big sister?" She said her voice still has the American and English accents warring for dominance making her sound so adorable. She refers to Peter as the 'big bully' because a) every time she says his name I flinch and b) she knows that Peter changed me into a vampire, she says 'he's mean for being so bad'.
She took one more bite and claimed she was full. I rolled my eyes and pushed her back on the stool and she scowled at the bowl and then took a few more bites eating an acceptable amount. She pushed it away and leaned her forehead on the tiled nook top her short curls in every direction from her incessant tossing and turning.
"Soph, are you all right?" I asked my eyebrows pushing together. She nodded her head still on the tile, "the tile just feels good." She said lifting her head off the counter and for the first time I noticed she was a little flushed. I put my hand to her forehead and she felt warm but then again anything does to my cool touch. I was about to move my hand away when she grabbed it to keep it in place. She definitely has a temperature.
(5:00 pm)
"Feeling better, Soph?" I asked smoothing back a damp springy curl that hung in her face. She nodded her hair bouncing with the action and she flashed her million dollar smile that I know will break plenty of hearts. "Do you need anymore cold medicine?" I asked and she wrinkled her nose. "Evie, I feel so much better." She reassured and I could tell it was genuine and she wasn't just trying to get out of taking that awful syrup again.
"I'm hungry," she announced and I smiled down at her and went to her dresser to pull out a fresh outfit for this evening approaching. She was sitting on her bed following all my movements in her small purple silk Kimono identical to my black one. Her hair was still damp from the shower she just took from sleeping through the majority of the day because that cold medicine knocked her out within a whole of five minutes and from her three layers of blankets her hair was soaked with her sweat.
I chose a mini burgundy linen skirt, a long-sleeved black t-shirt, black leggings, and a burgundy clip to pin up her bangs. She smiled at my selection. I had nothing to do with her sudden little fashion change; she just seemed to like these clothes and I have one guess in particular she wants to look like her big sister. That made me smile. From pastel to black it was a bit dramatic but she still keeps it simple not begging to put on black make-up and interrupt her creamy pale skin or red lips with stuff I won't let her use for a few more years.
I stepped out for a moment to give her a bit of privacy, and came back in within a few moments and she was dressed although her feet only had their black ankle socks on them. I bustled through the room and grabbed her hair products and played with her hair which is just long enough curly to reach a half inch from her shoulders. Her hair cooperated and was in a curly disarray of perfection in no time falling around cherubic face and I pinned her bangs that kept falling in her eyes on top of her head.
"Thank you," she said in her adorable voice as she looked into the mirror and gazed at her reflection fluffing her hair and smiled at me in the mirror. I handed her small black Converses. I kissed the top of her head and she smiled wider and I grabbed her leather jacket holding it so she could slide her arms into it.
"I'll be downstairs in a moment, Soph," I told her as she started down the stairs. I flitted to my room pulled on a pair of my ripped jeans and flitted back downstairs in less than five seconds flat. I smiled at her as I pulled my hair into a messy bun and pinned my bangs to the side letting the curls spill down the side of my face. I took her hand as we stepped outside and I scooped her up running full speed to the car and putting Sophie in and buckling her in.
On the road I said looking down at Sophie deterring my eyes completely from the road I asked, "So where shall it be, Soph?" She's the only one eating…at our table. Her eyes went to the ceiling of the car as she thought. "Um…that place near Mena's apartment." She answered. The Greek restaurant…Little Greece, it's called not really that original but Sophie seems to enjoy their food. Mena's a friend of mine from Night, she's something like part owner and people worship the ground she walks on the moment they come in contact with those dark blue eyes. She's taken a liking to Sophie and vice versa, when I'm dancing before my shift with meaningless men and while I'm actually on stage singing a few songs requested of me and some of my favorites she keeps Sophie in the private upstairs part of the club with her.
We entered the restaurant and were immediately given a table since well…the lustful looks say everything coming my way. I ordered Sophie her Chicken with callamata olives and rice. It took very little time and she ate slowly chewing well and when she was finished I caught the time on a clock before we left the restaurant – seven o'clock.
We went back home and I got ready in a record time of fifteen minutes after doing all the million things I needed to. I had on a black and maroon corset with black silk laces up the front revealing a bit of my midriff –the spot where Peter ran me through and it didn't betray one mark to indicate that ever happened – and a fair amount of cleavage enough but not so much like I would easily give it up to any guy, a mini pleaded maroon and black plaid skirt that is ultra short, and my favorite pair of high heeled combat boots. Along with my normal makeup and the necklace that will forever hang from my neck. I pulled on my leather jacket and headed downstairs and then we were off to Night.
I held Sophie's hand tightly as we walked down the darkened street now packed with waiting club goers to be admitted in and they'll be waiting for another twenty minutes. People stared as I walked through the threshold of Night right past William – the bouncer – holding Sophie's small hand. Confusion formed in their eyes at this sight although what I do is none of their business.
Mason sat on the edge of the stage as the rest of his band set up. He saw me and a smile lit up his handsome features, "Hello," He greeted jumping off the stage. "You look gorgeous as always," he complimented in his English accent, and then added, "and Sophie is so adorable. She looks almost exactly like you." He said smiling and the almost is her ice blue eyes. I smiled flirtatiously, "I already knew that Mason. I know I'm one of the hottest things here." Mason rolled his brown eyes.
His friend Max sat behind the DJ booth starting up some tunes to start off the night. Before Mason's band and before me and that gives us time to kill. I still held onto Sophie's hand and passed by another bouncer on my way up to the private section of the Night and I felt the stairs vibrate a bit from the loud music now thrumming through the speakers and the heavy footsteps into the club.
"Hello," I heard Mina's voice purr as I walked into the room. She sat on one of the black leather sofas as she gazed through the glass overlooking the part of the club that is open to those who can get in. Then she turned her dark blue gaze onto Sophie and me. She stood up and gave me a quick peck on the cheek and took Sophie's other hand and I relinquished the one I held. "You look so darling," She said sitting down Sophie on the couch. I went and put Sophie's and my jacket in the closet and sat for a moment. "Go ahead enjoy yourself, Evie, before you go on. I'll watch over Sophie." She said in her purr.
I went back down the stairs and danced hard to the beat my hair bouncing a bit tickling the small of my back. I danced with many different men all faceless to me while I danced I could only think of one person – Peter. I danced and danced until Max announced something, "Let's hear some noise for Spear Though Eternity," I heard cheering and then Mason's band flair up their music. They had a sound similar to Incubus and a weird mix of The Killers, although their sound is still so amazing.
The notes rocked through my body as I danced through over a dozen songs composed and written by the member's of Spear Through Eternity. Then The music cut off at the ending of their final song. "Following Spear Through Eternity is the lovely Eve Somers," I walked up the stage and Mason kissed me on the cheek for good luck as he stepped off but the rest of the band stayed behind to play along with what I sing. There were cheers, clapping, wolf whistling.
I hate the world today
You're so good to me
I know but I can't change
tried to tell you but you look at me like maybe I'm an angel
underneath
innocent and sweet
Yesterday I cried
You must have been relieved to see the softer side
I can understand how you'd be so confused
I don't envy you
I'm a little bit of everything
all rolled into one
For this first part I stood in front of the mike and didn't move much I held it with both my hands close to my face as I sang the sweetly painting with my voice pure innocence despite my outfit. Then I picked up the beat as I continued.
I'm a bitch, I'm a lover
I'm a child, I'm a mother
I'm a sinner, I'm a saint
I do not feel ashamed
I'm your hell, I'm your dream
I'm nothing in between
You know you wouldn't want it any other way
So take me as I am
This may mean you'll have to be a stronger man
Rest assured that when I start to make you nervous
and I'm going to extremes
tomorrow I will change
and today won't mean a thing
I moved seductively in a spontaneous way that still coincided with the beat. My voice never falter with each note and each word in the lyrics.
Just when you think you've got me figured out
the season's already changing
I think it's cool you do what you do
and don't try to save me
I moved my free hand that wasn't on the mike that I was now carrying run down my thigh in a suggestive manner and my bright smile grew as the lyrics made me want to laugh with how conceded they grow with each line and imply so much and describe me to a T since I can be innocent and sweet and then again a bitchy goddess on my knees on so many occasions – usually in the dark band room.
I'm a bitch, I'm a tease
I'm a goddess on my knees
when you hurt, when you suffer
I'm your angel undercover
I've been numbed, I'm revived
can't say I'm not alive
You know I wouldn't want it any other way
The song drew to a close and there was clapping and a lot more wolf whistling than usual. I went down the steps and walked right into someone who wasn't there a moment ago and then I looked up into his face – Peter.
I looked into his dark blue eyes in shock as he pulled me into the darkness of the hall leading to the band room before anyone could notice he had grabbed me. I was in complete shock how the hell did he find me I was so careful and yet here he stands centimeters away and yes not even an inch but mere centimeters. "Will you be a goddess on your knees for me Eve?" He asked and chuckled into my ear. "Now I know you're a sinner but just how far will you go Eve, how far?" He questioned menacingly and pressing me against the wall of the dark hall tightly. Then he leaned down and his teeth sunk into my neck, bringing on lethargy I faught against it.
My vision was becoming so bleary. My fingers clamped around his arms with all my rapidly depleting strength.
"Peter, stop." I pleaded.
He mercifully retracted his teeth from my neck only to whisper in my ear and press me harder against the wall. "You have no idea how much I have wanted you. You are so sweet Eve." He took a deep breath and laid another sharp kiss on my neck. I was flush against his chest, my knees buckling and strength leaving rapidly leaving. My vision was so blury and darkening around the edges. His arms were all that held me up and the light and color was becoming much duller with every second. Then it faded to black, quicker than one would have thought possible.