Yeah, so I got bored.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
Italic: The actual letter
Dear anyone who will read this,
Have I ever told you about Raine's horrible cooking? Of course. I mentioned it quite a few times. Spicy cake, lemon sandwich... We could even use her omelet as a bomb. She improvises and substitutes a lot. Heck, about that omelet, I wonder if she really did put explosives in it? "What are you writing?!" My sister, Raine asked, not too nicely.
I hid the paper. "Uh... Nothing! I mean, just taking notes!"
Her cooking can only be described in one word: Destructive. I guess my sister likes to destroy stuff. Like when she blows up Human Ranches...
...and when she smacks me...
"Snore... Raine... snore... is class over..."
"Wake up!" Smack!
"..." Kratos was as silent as ever.
And you know what?, Kratos once got so sick from eating Raine's cooking, he needed to heal himself.
Noishe was roaming Iselia. "Howl"
... Don't even think about feeding it to poor Noishe. Or else the protozoan will be victim of Ruin-Mania and horrible cooking.
Sheena smacked Zelos as he was about to do 'business' "Zelos! You!"
Come to think of it, Sheena is much like my sis. She smacks, and likes to put sour ingredients in food.
"Don't be rebellious! " Zelos said with a smile.
Zelos? He loves women, thus he loves their cooking. Raine's another story.
Presea passed by. "Hello Genis..."
Ah... Presea... She cooks nicely... No! I'm not saying that because I love her! It's true! No, no, no! I'm not going off topic!
Lloyd walked over. "Don't tell me you're studying in Break... Hey! Where's my comment?"
"Sorry Lloyd, I'll add it now."
"You say sorry too much like Colette these days."
Lloyd cannot support Raine's cooking. I don't either, so we hid under a bed or a bush whenever she cooks, in our childhood.
Lloyd skimmed the sentence. "You're still a kid."
"I'm older than you in intelligence."
"But you're still twelve."
"The truth hurts often."
Now I know why Raine is pissed of by Lloyd. At least your punishment is to miss a meal, avoiding the possibly poisoned food.
"Where's the paper I asked? ... What's this?! My horrible cooking!? GEEEENIIIISS SAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE!"
I jumped out the window in attempt to flee. "Run for your life!"
Raine held up her rod. "Photon!"
Lloyd commented, "And now you're going to feel the pain you felt thousands of times. Ow!" He got whacked by a certain person's staff.
"Lloyd! Don't interfere!" Raine ordered.
I looked around. "Help?"
"Ah... A brotherly-sisterly moment..." Zelos said with a smirk.
Presea explained, "This part has been censored for all the kids out there. We are sorry for any inconvenience."
"I think they get it, Presea. Now for a commercial break! We don't have those often..." Lloyd added.
Ow...that hurt... But I still have the paper! I am currently writing this under my bed. Spanks hurt, kicks do, smacks do too, and getting thrown into Lloyd doesn't help much either. Today it was fruit sushi, still improvising, just getting a bit better... We're camping outside tonight...
Lloyd built the fire. "Um... Professor, why are we camping right outside Iseila?"
"Snore... Raine'scookingSnore...RunawaySnore..." I tried to warn Lloyd while feigning sleep. Being Lloyd, he somehow didn't catch on...
"Um... Prof? What are you making? Don't tell me, another experiment?"
"A bit of orange peel for taste... Oh, Lloyd, I'm making supper. Care to taste?"
"Uh.. is it supposed to be sweet or salty?"
Goddessdammit Lloyd! Run away while you still can! I sounded a lot like Marble... sniff Marble... sob
"... Raine's cooking?!" Lloyd just grabbed me by the shirt and put me on his back. Seriously! Some respect for the short dude/Midget! Great, now I'm quoting Zelos.
"Hey Genis, you awake?"
"I've been awake since we set up camp. You need to pay more attention, Lloyd."
"You sounded just like your sister. Though you can't smack-" I hit Lloyd the Bigmouth in the back of the head for pointing that out. "-That hard..."
I am currently writing this on the back of my best friend. Please ignore the random penmarks on this piece of paper, it has gone through a lot.