This is just a little one-shot, that has been dying to get out of me for a while now. Nothing earth shattering or life changing. I know there's a billion fics like this already out there, but I had to do this one. Hope you like it.
Sorry for spelling and grammar mistakes. I'm not native English speaker.
Disclaimers: I don't owe Snape or anything else related to Harry Potter.
Severus Snape was dying.
He knew this, for he had many times witnessed what happens to those Nagini bites. Even if the snake doesn't have much of a poison in him, the severe loss of blood will kill. Snape felt the wound in his neck; the warm blood was running through his fingers. How funny, he thought, I haven't felt anything in me this warm in ages.
The brat of a Potter was there. When he had come and from where Snape didn't know. Not that he cared really. He hadn't honestly thought of living past this war. Still there was one more thing to do before he could die. With his last strength left he managed to give the bottle holding his memories to Potter. Now the boy would know the truth and do what was necessary.
"Look…at…me…" he whispered.
Yes, as humiliating as dying this helplessly in front of James Potter's son was, he had to take one last joy of looking into those emerald eyes. It truly wasn't fair that a face of Potter would have eyes of Lily Evans. But now, when his world was going dark and black, and he could no longer hear or feel anything, he only saw the eyes.
And with that, he let go of life.
"Hey, what are you spacing out there?"
Surely he couldn't have heard what he just heard. He had let go of his life which meant that he was dead. There wasn't supposed to be anyone asking him why he was spacing out. Unless it was the Devil. Could it be that after all he had gone to hell? He couldn't really blame. He had gotten Lily killed. He deserved hell.
"Are you even listening to what I am saying?"
Only now did occur to Severus that he was still seeing those beautiful emerald eyes. And the more he understood he was seeing them, the clearer everything around him became. He saw the eyes, but the face surrounding them was not the same. This face was beautiful and familiar and it was surrounded by red hair.
With a start Snape came to conclusion that Lily Evans was standing in front of him, wearing a dressing gown and cross look.
As if this wasn't enough, Snape also realised that Lily in front of him was about 16 to 17 years old. Certainly not the grown up young mother she had been when she died, but she was as she had been in school. And when Snape's mind had come to these conclusions he also recognised the surroundings as the walls of Hogwarts, with many paintings around them, and the entrance to the Gryffindor tower directly behind Lily.
Snape swallowed and tried to force himself to speak. There were so many things he wanted to say and yet all that came out was a pathetic whisper of "Lily…"
Lily's face darkened. "Is that all you have to say, Severus? I only came out because Mary said you were threatening to sleep here" she said.
Suddenly Snape was struck by an odd feeling of déjà vu. This has happened before. I tried to talk to her but I couldn't, apologize that I had called her mudblood. She wouldn't listen to me at the time and she never spoke to me again.
Was this one of those 'before you die life flashes in front of you' moments? Or was it hallucinations or a dream? He didn't know. Snape looked down on himself, expecting to see himself dressed in Slytherin uniform, but saw that he was still wearing his usual black clothes. Also there was a huge stain of blood on them. He touched his neck and felt the wound there, though no blood was coming out. Lily seemed to be completely blind to these changes in him.
"I'm tired of this, Severus. It's too late. I've made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious little Death Eater friends…" she said.
Snape was too stunned to say anything. Merlin, exactly the same words!
"You see, you don't even deny it! You don't even deny that's what you're all aiming to be! You can't wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?" she asked him mercilessly. Then she gave a sigh and turned around. "Good night, Severus…good night and goodbye".
These words finally made Snape act. For so many years he had wanted to have just one chance, one bloody chance to talk to Lily, to apologize, to make amends, anything! He didn't care anymore to wonder if this was an illusion or a dream or a cruel joke. This was the chance he had waited for and was he just going to stand here and do nothing? Not bloody likely!
He sprang forward – surprisingly well considering how numb he had just been – and took hold of Lily's hand. Her head whirled around, eyes winded. "Let go of me, Severus" she hissed.
"No, not before you listen to me" he said. How strange that now, when he was dead, he felt his heart beating far faster than ever in his life. "I'm sorry I called you-"
"Mudblood? Severus, you call everyone of my birth mudblood. Why should I be any different?" she asked.
"Because you're the only one who means anything to me!" Snape burst. I said it.
This seemed to stun Lily as she didn't say anything. Snape took this as an opportunity to continue.
"Ever since we were children, you've been the only person that matters to me. You just said that I have Death Eater friends. Who are they exactly? Avery and Mulciber? Regulus Black? They are not my friends; I don't care at all of them. Let them join You-Know-Who. It doesn't matter to me. Nothing matters to me without you!" he declared, trying to finally make it clear how he feels.
"Sev…Severus…what are you saying?" Lily asked.
Snape's body was trembling and he fell to his knees. "I know that what I've done has been cruel and wrong and I hate myself. I hate myself because I can't keep you with me Lily. I can't keep the one person I care for. Lily, please, I beg of you. Just one more chance…please, just one more. Don't give up on me yet" he whispered.
The silence that followed was torturing, enough to kill him all over again. Lily was looking at him with examining eyes. Snape felt like those eyes were cutting right through him. Those beautiful emerald eyes…
He couldn't look at them anymore. This is hell, he decided. So close and yet so far. If I look at her again will I see hate in those eyes?
And then she was there, on her knees in front of him, her eyes looking at him. "Do you mean it, Severus?" she asked.
Snape had again troubles of speaking. "I need you…"
Her arms were around him. Snape's breath – if he'd have that is – stopped.
"You really are an idiot, you know that, Sev?" Lily whispered to his ear, her tone warmer now. "Don't screw this time, okay?"
Snape pulled her in a crushing hug, holding her tight against him, fearing to let go. He nodded his head and cried, whispering apologies to her. She didn't push him away or tried to get away.
He no longer cared if this was an illusion, or a dream or hell itself. But there was no question about it that he was indeed dead. Never in his life had Severus Snape felt such a peace.
And that's it. As said, nothing special. Still I wouldn't mind reviews. No flames, please.