Disclaimer: I do not own Full House. I don't own Seinfeld, Family Matters, George Lopez, or Beavis and Butthead either.
It was a normal day in San Francisco. Danny Tanner was cleaning. Joey Gladstone was joking. Jesse Katsopolis is singing.
The back kitchen door opened. It was Kimmy Gibbler.
"Hola, Tannerinos!" Kimmy greeted.
"Hey, String Bean," Kimmy said to Danny.
"Hey, Hair-boy," Kimmy said to Jesse.
"Kimmy, don't you ever knock?" questioned Danny.
"I used to," replied Kimmy. "But nobody answers."
"Oh gee, I wonder why," said Jesse sarcastically.
"Hey, Deej," Kimmy greeted. Kimmy and DJ went up to DJ's room.
After Kimmy and DJ went upstairs, Jesse turned to Danny.
"I know Kimmy is DJ's best friend," said Jesse. "But we can't let her come over anymore."
"I know," agreed Danny. "Maybe we should just tell her she can't come over anymore."
"That's exactly what we should have told her a long time ago," said Jesse.
The next day, Danny and Jesse decided to tell Kimmy that she can't come over anymore. But as soon as they opened the door, Kimmy walked in. But this time she had friends with her. There's her boyfriend, Dwayne. There was also a tall man with brown hair in a crazy style, a fat man with curly black hair and glasses, a skinny black boy with glasses, and a short middle-aged Mexican woman.
"I want you to meet new friends of mine," said Kimmy. "You already know my boyfriend, Dwayne."
"Whatever!" greeted Dwayne.
"Hi," said Kramer, who is the tall man with the crazy hair.
"And his friend, Newman."
"Hello," said Newman, who is the fat man with curly black hair and glasses.
"You can call me Urkel," said the black boy.
"And this is Benny Lopez."
"Hey," said Benny, the middle-aged Mexican woman.
The twins Nicky and Alex walked into the kitchen.
"We draw on walls," said the twins.
"You boys go to your room," scolded Jesse.
"Mean Daddy," said Alex.
"Double mean," said Nicky. Jesse took the boys to their room.
"Now I have walls to clean," said Danny, as he left the room with cleaning supplies. Urkel started to rummage through the fridge.
"I hope they have cheese," said Urkel.
"Hey Steve," said Kramer. "While you're in there, could you get me olives?" Urkel handed Kramer a jar of olives.
Kimmy, Dwayne, Urkel, and Kramer are in the living room watching TV. Urkel is eating American cheese. Kramer is eating olives. Newman comes in carrying Twinkies, pickles, mayonnaise, and a six-pack of diet root beer. He sits on the couch and starts dipping his pickles into the jar of mayonnaise.
"It's like eating tartar sauce," Newman gushed, after eating the mayonnaise covered pickle.
"Why is there no beer in the fridge?" Benny asked, as she walked into the room.
"Nobody in this house drinks alcohol," replied Danny.
"Do you like cheese?" Urkel asked Dwayne.
"Whatever!" replied Dwayne, who took a slice of American cheese and started eating it.
"I'm a bad father," Jesse said sadly, walking down the stairs.
"You got that right," said Benny, opening a can of diet root beer.
"Jess," soothed Becky. "You did the right thing."
"Then why do I feel so terrible?" questioned Jesse.
"A parent never feels good when he's punishing his children," said Becky.
The doorbell rings and Danny goes to answer it. There are two fourteen year old boys. One of them has blond hair and is wearing a blue Metallica t-shirt and gray shorts. The other has brown hair and braces, and is wearing a black AC/DC t-shirt with red shorts.
"Hi," said the blond boy. "I'm Beavis. Huh uh uh uh."
"And I'm Butthead," said the other boy, whose name is obviously Butthead. "Can we come in?"
"No," said Danny. Beavis and Butthead walk in anyway.
"I want nachos," said Beavis.
"We're trying to score," said Butthead. "Uh huh huh huh huh."
Joey comes into the living room and spotted the Twinkies on the coffee table.
"There's my Twinkies!" said Joey. He picked one up and took a bite. He made a face.
"The cream filling tastes like tartar sauce," exclaimed Joey.
Over on the chair next to the couch, Kramer and Benny were making out.
"So, do you wanna, like, score?" Butthead asked Kimmy.
"Sorry, dude," said Kimmy. "I'm happy with Dwayne. Isn't that right, Dwaynester?"
"Whatever," said Dwayne.
Beavis puts his shirt over his head.
"I am the Great Cornholio," said Beavis. "I need TP for my bunghole!"
Meanwhile, in the kitchen...
Stephanie and Michelle noticed that the fridge is completely empty.
"Did DJ get back together with Steve?" questioned Michelle.
Stephanie looked into the living room.
"No," replied Stephanie. "It's Kimmy's annoying new friends."
Kramer took out cigars and passed them around. Urkel's cigar fell out of his mouth onto the couch, setting it on fire.
"Did I do that?" asked Urkel.
Danny was furious. "That's it. Out of the house! All of you," he said, shooing Beavis, Butthead, Kramer, Newman, Kimmy, Dwayne, and Urkel out of the house. "And none of you can ever come back!"
He went upstairs to the bathroom to find Benny taking a shower.
"Hey, Perv. Did you enjoy the show?" Benny asked sarcastically, sticking her head out of the shower curtain.
"Out of the house," shouted Danny. As soon as Benny left, Danny saw that the tub was covered with hair. He nearly gagged. It looked like a carpet in there.