A/N: This is a one-shot set about a year after the 07 movie ended. Obviously I assume that Prowl has arrived on Earth. I may turn this into a series of one-shots later if the mood suits me, but for now this is it.
I don't own Transformers.
In the short time since Prowl had arrived on Earth, he had come to one definite conclusion about its native inhabitants. Humans were the strangest creatures he had ever encountered. The vast majority of their actions made no sense; they were primitive, fragile, and so tiny he was afraid to walk normally through his own base at the risk of stepping on one. Oh, he was the first to admit that they had their moments. Their bravery and determination through the battle for the Allspark was certainly commendable, and at times he found himself positively enjoying their company. It didn't change the fact however, that his logic processors had jammed more in the two months since his landing than the previous few vorns combined! Take the conversation that had occurred just yesterday in the rec. room.
Prowl had just finished his shift and was looking forward to a nice, relaxing cube of energon. The rec. room was fairly empty, the only occupants being the group of human adolescents who had taken to hanging around the base. The three looked up as he sat down some distance away, offering smiles and casual greetings. After responding in kind, he left them to their conversation, determined to enjoy his energon ration in peace. He could not, however, avoid hearing their words. The conversation started out innocent enough.
"So, you guys going to the dance this weekend?" The blonde one (Miles, Prowl reminded himself) asked.
"If I can get that anatomy report done." Sam replied sullenly. "I mean, it's like two weeks from summer and they give us a major assignment now?!"
Mikaela was quick to reprimand her boyfriend. "Stop whining Sam, it's not even that bad."
"Says the girl who cheated." Sam muttered, quick to dodge the ensuing blow to his shoulder.
"I did not!" Mikaela exclaimed in righteous indignation.
Sam pointed an accusing finger at her face. "You got help from Ratchet, sooo cheating. He's downloaded like every anatomy paper that exists!"
"That's not cheating." Mikaela crossed her arms "That's being smart enough to use the resources at my disposal."
Prowl's faceplates twitched in amusement at the girl's smug tone. She should really consider politics as a possible career choice. He thought. He himself had tried arguing with her several times since his arrival. It had not gone well.
Miles had been very quiet during the friendly banter, apparently lost in his own thoughts. After a few minutes of silence he proudly announced to the room, "Apple!"
Apple?! Prowl quickly accessed the Internet. A red fruit that grows on trees. Smooth skinned, common in human consumption. No matter how hard he looked, he could find nothing to explain how 'Apple' could have anything to do with the current discussion. He could feel his logic processors working overtime to come up with an answer. In complete bafflement, he turned full attention to the humans.
The boy's two companions apparently had no better understanding. Both were regarding their friend like he had grown an extra optic. "Apple?" Sam sounded like he couldn't believe his ears as Miles nodded enthusiastically. "Why apple?"
"Well first I thought 'pear'." Miles chirped happily. "But apple sounded better."
Something told Prowl he should leave the room before he overloaded. He quickly got up to dispose of his empty cube, but could still hear the conversation behind him.
"Well what would you say to 'apple'?." Sam demanded of Mikaela (who had just questioned his own response of 'Why apple?')
"I don't know," Mikaela shrugged. "Orange?"
Prowl picked up his pace, he could already feel the processors jamming. Ratchet would kill him if he had to fix them again.
"Actually," Miles said thoughtfully. "You should have said celery."
"Celery." Prowl was practically running for the door. "Why celery?"
Miles was triumphant in his explanation. "Because apples and celery make red and green, which are Christmas colours!"
That did it. There was a resounding crash as Prowl keeled over, logic processors completely locked.
A/N: This was based on a conversation that I actually had with my sister, I kid you not! Sometimes I wonder about that girl (like every other second), lol! I wrote this in about half an hour, laughing the whole time, so it's probably pretty rough. Whatever, tell me what you think. My first real try at humor and Transformers!