Summary: Post 'Deathly Hallows'. Slight spoilers. This is ONE year on from the end of Voldemort not after the '19 years later' bit. Hogwarts has had many deaths within its walls and the survivors of the War know this more than anyone. Can Hogwarts really be viewed in the same light? ONESHOT.
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of its characters.
Author's notes: This came to me while rereading sections for the next chapter of 'Inbetween'. It is mostly a drabble fic which refused to leave my brain until I'd given it some time. However it teetered out somewhat in the middle and I ended up scrounging around for an ending. Eventually some ghosts gave it to me. -.-
It's been a year.
A year since the Battle of Hogwarts.
Of course, in a way, I am glad Hogwarts wasn't permanently damaged although the renovation have only just finished. If the School had really fallen we wouldn't have won as we had.
Still…Hogwarts will never be a place of joy. Not for me. Even the memories are a thing to be avoided still.
Because we ended here.
Maybe someday I'll be able to look upon those days without needing to resist the urge to vomit, maybe even without this terrible throb inside me every time I hear mention of it.
Just looking at it now; here on the grounds where a celebratory memorial is underway – I can't even pretend you're here. Here waiting for me to complete the jokes all on my own, alone.
I can't step foot in that place, in those halls where you died.
Here at Hogwarts I am unable to make believe even to myself.
Mum, Dad, Ron, Ginny, Percy, everyone thinks I'm okay, that I'm coping. Sometimes I think I am….
I mean the shop's doing fine – not as great but okay – after all we did always seem to come up with the same sort of ideas. It's just now the ideas don't come as quickly now that I've lost my second voice.
I'm sure you'll be happy to know though Percy does try.
…But I'm not.
They don't understand. Cannot, won't ever.
They lost a son, a brother, a friend.
Me? I lost the other half of myself.
I mean…we did everything together! We finished each others sentences, each others thoughts. We had the same thoughts! We knew what the other was thinking!…I bet we even dreamed similarly. We could have been classed as one person if not for our two bodies.
And now they all expect me to become that one person who has to double the energy and effort required.
They expect me to fill the spot of two. Even you.
Well I can't!
I can't go anywhere near those formerly sacred halls that we filled with laughter and chaos for 7 years and then shouts and screams of a different sort.
I can't go into Hogwarts again.
It was the death of you, – of us – of the second half of my heart, mind, body and soul.
Percy just doesn't get that.
None of them do.
I've been trying to be a full body Siamese twin of one but there is still only one of me.
You know people still occasionally call me Forge, which is frustrating and depressing.
…But, see, there's no F in George.
I don't want to play the part of two.
I can't live as only half.
"Please Fred….I want my twin back."
A/N: What did you think? Good, bad…I know George was OOC but I think grief does that and he has lost his twin.
I'm a bit embarrassed actually, it took me forever to work out if Gred and Forge were nicknames in the books or whether some creative license people had picked up on…guess I should have check lexicon first huh?
Anyway I have an idea that goes with this. I might see if I can make a plan for that but I'm not sure. It would basically involve Fred coming to his brother's plea, if you know what I mean.
Please review. I'd like to know how bad this attempt at midnight is :P !