I do not own Naruto, if I did I would be rich.

The Crack Universe

Shikamaru was annoyed. As the Hokage he was expected to do so much work and all he wanted to do was sleep under the clouds. The ANBU kept coming to him with problems that he didn't want to solve. He has finally managed to escape them and hid in his family's forest, thinking of the past events…..


The final battle between Itachi and Sasuke was almost to a close. Both Uchiha were low on chakra and Sasuke was barely winning.

"Itachi, I will have my revenge!" Sasuke yelled charging forward. He must have had bad luck because he tripped on a rock and fell on the ground. He hit his head on a rock smashing his skull. He died on the spot.

Itachi stared stunned at what happened, then burst out laughing. He laughed so hard and so long he couldn't breathe and slowly died from lack of oxygen.

Sasuke did have his revenge.


Naruto was in a great depression about his rival/friend. He started down the wrong street, drinking. Naruto stopped going on missions and stopped caring about being Hokage. He was always seen on the street drinking large amounts of sake and sleeping under overhangs.

Everyone tried to get him out of his slump, but no one could.


Tsunade died shortly after the Uchiha's deaths. She died from alcohol poisoning. Her debt then went to the Konoha and since then the village has suffered a huge economic depression.


Sakura was sad about the loss of her sensei, but she kept doing missions to help raise money for the village. One of her missions was to be an ambassador to the sand village.

She never returned. Witnesses say that Gaara took her away to parts unknown.


Hinata tried everything she could to get Naruto out of the slump. After everything failed she too went into a depression. She couldn't have her love so she hung herself one night. The entire Hyuga clan was devastated.

Neji and Kiba…

Neji and Kiba both blamed Hinata's death on Naruto. The both attacked him one night after Naruto exited a bar in an ambush.

The battle was quick and bloody. The fox's chakra, powered by alcohol destroyed Neji and Kiba. No remains of them were ever found.

Chakra and alcohol do not mix.


Shikamaru was told that because of his intelligence he was the new Hokage. He wasn't given a choice and started trying to rebuild Konoha. His lazy nature stopped him from doing much more then he could have done.

Gai and Lee….

They are on their 3rd child. I am not going on anymore.

Kakashi and Jiraiya…..

Both of them left Konoha to follow the greater good and create books for all of mankind.

Back to the present…

Shikamaru finally got up and walked back to Konoha, he knew he had a job to do….

Authors note

I was high and stoned at the same time when I wrote this. This was just something for fun. I may continue writing about other characters if people who are on drugs like it and post good reviews.

P.S. By reading this story you have agreed not to hurt me.