Disclaimer: Not ours. Bummer.

Summary: Life in the ER is hectic. Lives hang in the balance, tempers rise and emotions abound. Dr. Uchiha and Dr. Uzumaki deal with the tensions at work every day. And then they go home and deal with their own relationship. SasuNaru

Written by: Phantomsnow and michelerene (ff)/ lexjamandme (aff and Y!)

Author's Note: Oh dear god… I am so, so sorry. What is wrong with me?! Months… that's how long you have waited and it is 100 my fault. Poor Roely… she just stopped asking me what was taking so long. Poor girl.

Thank you so much to everyone who has come this far with us. We both had such an amazing time with this. As always, I am sad, sad, sad to see it end. But, one door closes and another opens up. (See: Roely mentioning more that once the idea of a prequel…)

P.S. If I EVER say I'm writing an epilogue again I want every single one of you to track me down and kill me. You have my permission to be as creative as needed. I have a serious mental block with them apparently. I'm just going to stop calling the last chapter epilogue and instead say "I only have the whatsamacallit left."

WARNING: Roely took pleasure in opening herself a little lemonade stand. So, kick off your shoes, relax and drink up. I can't believe that anyone at this point might need more explanation than that from me, but, in layman's terms. Sex, BOYS, oral activities, BOYS… and please, please don't read if you don't like. Who does that anyway?

All the Small Things

Epilogue

He was never going to get tired of this, Naruto thought as Sasuke ran his fingers lightly down his chest. Sasuke's dark pink lips following the path the fingers had taken pressing his slightly parted mouth on Naruto's heated skin. The blonde shivered with need and arched his back slightly off the bed. For some reason, his angel was taking extra special care of him tonight and it almost made him suspicious but those lips, the mouth, the tongue that flicked so loving out to taste his sensitive skin made him forgot everything but the moment. Oh, how he loved it when Sasuke took it slow. It made him feel so loved and cherished.

"Mmmm," he moaned as Sasuke's lips suddenly trailed closer to the part of him that was stiff and wet with arousal. Sasuke hovered just above his swollen shaft grasping it gently with one hand as he breathed on the head. Naruto shuddered deliciously and wiggled his hips, thrusting them upwards to get Sasuke to take him in his mouth.

Sasuke chuckled softly before licking his lips sensually and flicking his tongue at the slit, lapping up the droplets of the milky white precum. He smacked his lips together tasting the bitter sweetness of his lover's essence. Naruto's taste was addicting, he thought as he devoured the pulsing cock with a hunger that was never going to be satisfied. The dobe howled his pleasure jerking his hips upwards at the feel of Sasuke's hot mouth taking him in all the way.

Sasuke gripped Naruto's right hip pushing him down and keeping him still as he relaxed his throat enough to take him in more. He was satisfied with his lover's grunts and moans and sucked hard on his shaft. Absently, he felt Naruto's fingers slip into his scalp pulling hard on his dark locks.

Sasuke slipped Naruto's cock half way out of his mouth, much to the blonde's disappointment, before he licked and sucked at the appendage using his teeth to gently scrape along the vein running through the side of Naruto's shaft.

"FUCK!" Naruto screamed the intensity of the sensation too much for him.

The sex was better than it had ever been before, especially now that they were married. It was as if a barrier that they hadn't known existed between them before had been broken. That barrier was gone and now every time they were together it felt like they were melting into each other, fusing and connecting on a level higher than before. Oh, they still fought but the intimacy of this act and of everything that they did together was ten times better.

Sasuke's mouth was on his cock again, sucking, licking and tasting and Naruto was about to explode into that pretty little mouth of his. The raven breathed heavily through his nose letting go of Naruto's hips to fondle his balls weighting them in his hand like they were precious jewels.

"Sasssssuke!"

There was a smirk on Sasuke's face let Naruto know that Sasuke was getting entirely too much amusement from teasing him. "GET ON WITH IT!" he half screamed and half sobbed. He felt Sasuke let go of his dick before sliding up his body and they both shuddered as skin met skin.

"How do you want it?" Sasuke's husky lust filled voice asked him looking into his eyes. Naruto forced himself not to shut his eyes and smiled into Sasuke's face.

"On my side," he answered in an equally wanting voice. His lips were dry so he unconsciously licked them, the pink tongue running along his bottom lip and was surprised when Sasuke groaned and sucked on it midway.

Sasuke pulled back panting with a flush the seemed to spread all over his body. He gently moved Naruto on his right side and lay down next to him. With his chest to Naruto's back, he ran his hands along the tan leg and slipped it underneath Naruto's knee. Naruto cocked his head to the side, moaning when he was spread wide. He was still nice and sleeked from their last bout of love making and was overly sensitive. He felt Sasuke nudged at his opening and sighed longingly.

God, how he loved being filled with his husband's cock, loved feeling his seed inside of him. It always felt like a little part of his lover, his essence, maybe even his soul, became part of him.

"LOVE YOU!" he screamed as Sasuke brutally thrust inside of him moving in and out of him in an almost desperate and out of control manner and Naruto was glad for the third time that night that Sasuke's parents took the twins for the night. They were so loud and the bed moaned under their combined weight as it lurched and banged against the wall.

"Naruto! Naruto! Oh god…"

Sasuke moaned as he reached out to jerk Naruto's weeping cock fast and hard. Naruto bit his lips, his head falling forward. It was so good that he felt like he was crawling out of his skin. He came with a scream and Sasuke came soon afterwards.

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They were lying in each other's arms, in the afterglow, softly talking about work and the twins when the phone rang.

They stopped talking and listen quietly as the machine picked up. Naruto stiffened immediately when Sai's voice came on and drew his eyebrows in a frown at the guilty expression on his husband's face.

"Hey, dickless, how's my cousin treating you?" Sai paused there, the amused tone of his voice immediately setting Naruto on edge. "I was just calling to remind you to bring your swimsuits for the weekend." There was a pause and then Sai's annoying nasally voice came on again. "Well, maybe not… because nobody will want to stare at the empty space where your dick should be."

Naruto scrambled over Sasuke, kneeing him in the gut and picked up the phone. His chest was heaving with anger, "I HAVE A DAMN DICK!" he screamed slamming the phone down.

Naruto turned accusing eyes at Sasuke and Sasuke shrugged through his pained wince. "I couldn't get out of it! I tired but Uncle Madara 'suggested' he might break my legs and Sai 'considered' visiting more often," he suppressed a smile when Naruto shuddered. "See, I didn't really have a choice."

Naruto could see why Sasuke couldn't get out of it but did he really have to go. He opened his mouth to tell him that when Sasuke beat him to it.

"You're an Uchiha now. Remember, you smiled and swore in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad." Naruto glared at his husband before collapsing back onto the bed.

"I'm not sure they had Uchihas in mind when they created such vague vows…" Leaning over, Naruto kissed Sasuke's pale shoulder. "Why did I marry you again?" He asked closing his eyes.

Sasuke chuckled amused. "Just lucky I guess," he answered pecking Naruto on his cheek and gathering him in his arms.

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The young mother nuzzled her four year old's head and smiled up tiredly at Naruto. "Thank you so much." She said and Naruto smiled back. This was why he loved being a pediatrician.

"Keiko will be fine now. Her nose might be a little swore for awhile, but I think we all learned a lesson today." Naruto smiled down at the little girl in the woman's lap and produced a lollipop from his pocket. "We do not stick candy corns up our noses, even if they do smell delicious or seemed to be the perfect size." Naruto reached forward and tweaked the little girl's nose causing her to erupt into a round of childish giggles.

Stepping back, Naruto headed toward the door, holding it open for the mother and daughter. Naruto directed them toward the nurses' station and was headed into exam room two, where a six year old with excessive diarrhea was waiting for him… oh the joy… when he was yanked into a supply closet.

Normally, Naruto would have been all for random molestations in dark places, but today, he knew for a fact that Sasuke was at home with the twins for twenty more minutes. Drawing in a breath to yell and curling his fingers into a tight fist to beat the crap out of his unwanted molester, Naruto turned and was immediately quieted by a cool hand across his mouth.

"Shut up and if you hit me, Doctor, I will not be responsible for my actions." The voice was monotone and cold and made Naruto laugh out loud.

Slapping the hand away and he grinned widely, "Gaara. When did our relationship evolve into discussions in the supply closet? What will Neji think?"

"Probably the same thing as your Dr. Doom, so best we hurry this along. What do you have?"

Naruto shook his head and reached over to switch on the light before jumping up on a low supply shelf. With his feet dangling, he smirked at Gaara. "You dragged me into a supply closet to compare patient notes?"

Gaara turned his head slowly until his sharp green eyes met Naruto's. He stood straight with his arms crossed over his chest and raised a nonexistent eyebrow. Naruto correctly took the action to mean, 'I could kill you… painfully' and swallowed.

"Fine. I might have you beat. Four year old, female, Asian descent. Admitted by mother for foreign object up left nostril. Object was later determined to be a tasty morsel, commonly known as a candy corn. Turns out the female child," Naruto couldn't stop the chuckle, his clinical façade deteriorating, "Damn, Gaara, her excuse was that it was the right size. Like she was searching the world for the perfect thing to cram up her nose."

Gaara nodded and chuckled softly. Naruto stopped breathing. The smile tugged at the corners of the red head's mouth, softening the pale face and for a moment, Naruto entertained the idea that maybe he shouldn't have ruled out random molestations so quickly. Then, he met the piercing green eyes, alight with what he hoped was humor but looked more like sadistic glee and had to force himself not to flinch. Neji could have him.

With a deep sigh, Naruto waved a hand, "Obviously you feel you have me beat. Let's hear it."

"Male, six years old. Admitted by hysterical father. Blood covered t-shirt and pants but no obvious wounds on the body. Complained of stomach pains. Detailed questioning in regards to recent diet found the patient had consumed a…" Gaara stopped for a moment and Naruto watched as he leaned against the door jam, the picture of relaxation. "A fly."

Blue eyes blinked. "He swallowed a fly."

The evil glint that entered Gaara's eyes could be seen from space and Naruto was beginning to worry for his own sanity. Gaara's was already gone from the look of it. "Yes."

Naruto leaned back against the wall crossing his arms. "Okay… there's more. Where's the blood from?"

Gaara mimicked the blonde doctor's pose, "After consuming the fly, he swallowed a spider."

Naruto shook his head, smirking, "I've heard this story, Gaara. I never pegged you as a joker…" The blonde head tilted to the side. "Or as funny at all, come to think of it."

The red head's non-existent eyebrow raised once more, his green eyes piercing and the epitome of utter seriousness. Naruto ran a hand through blonde spikes and felt his stomach flip as the smile fell completely from his face.

"Where did the blood come from?"

Gaara sighed and closed his eyes, "I have never heard this story, but apparently, after the spider wiggle and jiggles inside, some fucked up old lady decides to send a bird in after it. So, this particular family had a finch."

Naruto paled, sliding off the shelving and bent over breathing rapidly, "Stop."

"The little feathery bastard put up a brave fight, Doctor."

"I don't care…"

"Claw marks and bites covered the patient's mouth…"

"Shut up…"

Gaara finally noticed that Naruto was serious when a tan hand wrapped around his wrist painfully. "The bird lived. I called Nara, who should be down any minute to take the boy and father off to discuss…" Gaara stopped, face completely blank, "Actually, I don't care. The little psycho will be off my case load."

Naruto finally stood up straight, intending to toss out that book as soon as he got home. "Pot calling the kettle black, Gaara. And, why the hell did you become a pediatrician?"

The red head shrugged before looking right at Naruto, "Say it."

Naruto grinned, albeit weakly, "Say what?"

Gaara's response was no response at all, just a cool glare.

"You win." Naruto chuckled, "For now, at least." Gaara nodded and Naruto headed toward the door, "So, how are things with Hyuuga?"

Gaara opened his mouth to answer but the supply door opened and a large hand reached in and grabbed Naruto's shirt front, yanking him out into the hall. Naruto stumbled and after gaining his balance, turned to see a flash of long, tied back brown hair disappear into the closet, followed by a surprised 'eep' Gaara would kill Naruto for should he ever mention it.

Straightening his lab coat Naruto laughed quietly to himself, "It's going well then."

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Naruto walked down the hall, turning the corner just in time to see a bored looking Shikamaru step into the elevator followed by a pale faced man and his hospital gown clad son. Naruto could still see smears of blood on the six year old's mouth. Turning away he reiterated to himself that he would make sure Yuri and Yoshi never heard that poem. Honestly, an old woman who swallowed a fly…

"I don't know why she swallowed the fly…" Naruto froze. He knew that voice.

"Perhaps she'll die!" Giggled two little voices and Naruto looked up to see Sasuke walking hand in hand with their children.

"Stop it!"

The children stopped, turning in the direction of the nearly hysterical voice. Naruto's faced paled and Sasuke stilled, seeing Naruto. "Dobe?"

Naruto knelt down in front of his innocent little three year olds and ran a hand over their dark tresses, "She did die. Because she ate things bad for her. We never, ever eat ANYTHING that isn't food. Food that you got from Mama or Dada. Do you understand?"

"Yes, mama." Yuri said and Yoshi nodded.

"Good." Naruto stood and they made their way to the elevators. Sasuke grabbed Naruto's hand to draw his attention and ask him what the hell that was about when Naruto stopped in his tracks. Following his gaze, Sasuke saw the elevator doors closing on Nara and two people. The smaller, a boy, smiled and Sasuke saw a little feather stuck in the boy's teeth.

"Never read that story to them again, teme."

Sasuke felt his stomach flip and nodded, "Hn."

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After dropping the twins off at daycare, Sasuke and Naruto made their way down to the ER. As happened so mysteriously often, Naruto found himself pinned against the wall of the elevator as Sasuke's wicked tongue sent ridiculously pleasant sensations from his pulse point to his pants.

"Oh god… S'uke…" Naruto moaned and shifted his knee until it was wedged between Sasuke's legs, rubbing firmly against the bulge, drawing a deep moan and a harsher suck from Sasuke's lips.

The ding of the elevator had Sasuke pulling away from Naruto, his black eyes closed while he worked to control his breathing and other… parts. Naruto shifted beside him. "Doctor?" Sasuke's eyes snapped open at the lusty whisper and the doors started to open. "You might want to hold your lab coat closed. This is a family hospital."

Before Sasuke could respond, Naruto slipped passed him, hands in his own coat's pockets as he made his way down the hall whistling.

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In the six months since the quarantine, the hospital had undergone many changes, the most notable being a new wing of the hospital dedicated to research and development and named after Sakura Haruno. The new influx of donations propelled the hospital forward, as well as, the addition of Sasuke's parents to the staff. Both doctors worked out of the new wing and at least once a week had lunch with Sasuke and Naruto. They were both seen frequently at the daycare as well.

Naruto ran a hand through his hair and smiled. He was glad that Sasuke, Itachi and their parents were getting along better. They weren't exactly the Cleavers, but Naruto didn't think they would even want to be. They were, and always would be, Uchihas, but as Hinata liked to point out, they now had an Uzumaki twist.

Naruto didn't care what it was. Sasuke was happy and if Sasuke was happy, then so was he. The thumb of Naruto's left hand absently twirled the gold band around his finger while he read the finding of the lab report in his right. His attention was yanked from the numbers when someone grabbed onto his arm.

"Dr. Uzumaki?"

Naruto turned and gasped in surprise before he smiled brightly, "Aya! How are you?" Naruto looked at the teen that had changed so much in the months since Sasuke had run her down with his car. She hadn't been at the hearing that both he and Sasuke testified at, although her mother had told them how wonderful Aya was doing in school and counseling.

The young girl's face had filled out, her complexion a healthy tan, while her hair was long and sleek. The biggest change was in her eyes. She looked happy and alive. It made all the difference in the world.

"You look wonderful." Naruto said and she giggled, "What are you doing at the hospital? Are you feeling okay?"

The girl nodded, "I am seeing Dr. Uchiha. The woman one." Naruto smiled and nodded. "She is working with me and several others who are HIV positive like me. Not just medicine. We do a lot of talking about our feelings with other doctors and each other. It is nice to know… see… other people living with it. You know?"

Naruto nodded, "Yes, I do, and you couldn't be in better hands than Dr. Uchiha. She is very good at her job."

Aya nodded, "She said the same about you. And that you are married to the broody doctor… her son? And that you have children!"

"Wow…" Naruto said, chuckling, "She said a lot."

"I saw pictures of your wedding and the twins in her office. She seems very proud of her grandchildren."

"Aya!" Naruto and the teen turned and saw her mother waving to her. Aya waved back and Naruto found himself drawn into a hug.

"Thank you. So much… for everything."

Naruto squeezed her close before stepping back. "You are very welcome. The next time you are here, stop into the ER. I know the broody doctor would like to see you too."

The young girl laughed and ran toward her mother. Turning back in the direction of the ER, Naruto smiled. It turned out having a relationship with the Uchihas made him happy too, independent of his brooding bastard.

Shikamaru would be so proud.

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Kakashi signed yet another chart note and tossed the metal clip board into a basket at the side of his desk. He was so tired of paper work. One would think that while he and Iruka were away, recovering from a minor thing, commonly known as dying, that someone would have taken up their workload. Turns out they just made sure the piles didn't fall over on their desks. Six months later and he and Iruka were still playing catch up. How considerate.

A glance at the clock showed the weekend was still three hours away. Plenty of time to start on the next stack of papery hell. A knock at the door drew his attention and he smiled when his lead pediatrician stuck his head in the door.

"Gotta minute, boss?" Naruto smiled when Kakashi nodded and the blonde doctor closed the door behind him and had a seat. "So, are you excited?"

Kakashi leaned back in his seat and let an eyebrow raise in question. "Excited?"

"About this weekend?" Naruto said and leaned forward to grab a paper weight off the desk before tossing it in the air and catching it.

Kakashi smirked, "Oh, did Obito tell you about our plans? And yes, I'm very excited. Unlike some, not all of us took a two week vacation recently."

Naruto looked at Kakashi, his head tilted slightly to the side to denote his confusion. "First of all, it was our honeymoon. Get married and then take one of your own, no one's stopping you."

"Sparky, it takes a special person to marry into the Uchiha family and when I say special, I mean mildly insane with deeply ingrained masochistic tendencies."

Naruto laughed out loud, "So, the sessions with Shikamaru are really doing something for you then. You know what they say… indentifying the problem is the first step to acceptance."

"I hate you." Kakashi said with a smile, "Now, were you just here to point out the horror that is my future as Obito's partner, or was there something else."

"Kakashi, where are you and Obito going this weekend?"

"Some island resort." Kakashi said, "I'm looking forward to the time alone."

Naruto fiddled with the hem of his scrubs willing himself not to cackle evilly. "Remember when you forced the interns on me and I told you that you would get yours?"

Kakashi's hand stilled over yet another report, "I remember several times actually, along with some reference to myself being an asshole."

Naruto nodded, "Yes, of the highest order." The blonde smiled in a way that made Kakashi think about his need to update his will. "Sasuke and I are going to an island resort this weekend as well." The pen dropped from Kakashi's fingers. "But, our island resort has the special distinction of being owned by none other than Madara Uchiha. We will be there for an Uchiha family reunion."

Kakashi blinked, pushing his chair back from his desk so that he could put his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands. No longer looking at Naruto he asked, "Where is this island?"

"South, off of Leaf Peninsula."

"I'll kill him. No jury in the world will convict me…" Kakashi began to mutter to himself words that could make a sailor blush and plans that would make any Uchiha proud.

"Have you ever been to Uncle Maddie's before?" Naruto interrupted a particularly detailed plan including pandas, super glue and zip ties. A shake of Kakashi's head was his answer and Naruto pressed on. "Keep Obito with you at all times. Security into that place is…" Naruto desperately attempted to find an appropriate metaphor and came up blank, a shiver chasing through his body at the memories of last time he had been to the island. "It's scary. There is no better word or explanation. The guards take their jobs very seriously and unless you have or come with an Uchiha glare, they have no qualms about full body searches."

Kakashi stopped picturing vats of boiling tar and bright pink feathers and focused on the blonde doctor before him. "Are you serious?"

Naruto's face held the stoic look he got in the ER when life signs were crashing, nurses were yelling and the sounds of more arriving ambulances filled their ears.

"They had the gloves on before Sasuke even realized I wasn't behind him."

Kakashi had never been more horrified in his life. Obito had better kiss his ass goodbye.

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"AH-COO!"

"Little brother, are you okay?" Daisuke asked. Obito used a tissue to wipe his nose and shook his head.

"I'm fine, but, do you ever get the feeling that you're in deep shit and will be sleeping on the couch?"

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The children were asleep as soon as the plane took off, tucked together in the nice first class seats that the private jet came equipped with. Konohamaru and Grandpa Sarutobi were also enjoying the roominess, sound asleep as well. Sasuke thought, as he gently combed his fingers through Yuri's hair, that it would be a good time for him and his dobe to join the mile high club.

"Dobe," he whispered leaning over both children. He tapped Naruto who was reading what seemed to be a very boring medical journal from the way his eyes glazed over with sleep.

Naruto ignored Sasuke, still angry about the fact that they were going to his uncle's island when he really just wanted was to stay home and away from the homicidal maniac. He pulled the magazine closer to his face and turned a bit sideways ignoring the bastard who had pointed out that despite Madara's violent tendencies he was still family and family who had help them out in their time of need. He snorted and turned fully away from Sasuke. That man was head of a crime organization he had more than just the normal murderous tendencies.

Sasuke frowned. "You can't ignore me forever."

"Oh, really? Watch me," his blonde muttered.

Sasuke smiled. "See, you just talked to me."

Naruto placed the journal carefully on his lap when all he really wanted to do was whack Sasuke on the head with it.

"Fine, what do you want?" he said through grinding teeth.

Sasuke stood up carefully and pulled Naruto out of his seat by his shirt front. He wrinkled his noise at the new favorite color of choice. For some reason, the dobe abandoned orange and he was now wearing an equally loud color, the color yellow.

"Hey," Naruto spluttered as he was hauled down the aisle and toward the bathroom.

Sasuke ignored him. Looking both ways, he opened the door and shoved Naruto inside before he followed him in, closing the door. He didn't give the blonde a chance to recover before he was on him like toast with butter and Naruto melted appropriately.

"Hmm, damn it!" Naruto tried to protest but Sasuke had managed to wedge him between the toilet seat and the sink. Naruto natural aversion for all things germy almost reared its ugly head until a particular hard bite on his Adam's apple jerked his thoughts to the horny ass bastard pressing him into the wall. The bastard was licking and biting his throat as he worked on Naruto's pants.

"Sasu-Keeee!" Naruto gasp when Sasuke managed to unzip his pants and insert his hand inside cupping his quickly erecting member.

"What?" the raven mumbled distractedly as he rubbed Naruto's groin.

"What if they wake up?" Naruto said trying to push Sasuke away from him but the bastard wouldn't have it. Sasuke impatiently withdrew his hand and grasp Naruto by his slim hips. He gave Naruto an annoyed look and then shoved his jeans and boxers down exposing the hard, pulsating shaft.

"Relax… they're asleep and I locked the door," Sasuke said sliding down Naruto's trembling lower body. Naruto leaned his head back on the wall and closed his eyes shivering as Sasuke took him in his mouth.

All thoughts of how wrong doing it in the bathroom of Sasuke's uncle's private plane while their children and his brother and grandfather where just a few steps away fled from his mind. Sasuke twirled his moist pink tongue around the head of Naruto's cock and Naruto jerked his hips forward, bit his lips and tried to keep the loud moan working its way out of his throat down.

They were so engrossed in the sensual pleasure that neither of them noticed when the door knob of the bathroom started to twist or took any notice when the door was suddenly slid opened until Konohamaru's girlish and horrified scream reached their ears.

Sasuke's mouth was sliding half way down on Naruto's shaft, saliva dripping from the sides, when Konohamaru appeared at the doorway. Naruto froze in mid pant.

Konohamaru's eyes rolled back in his head and he fainted. The newly married couple both froze in horror and heard the worried voice of the old man asking if everything was all right.

"I thought you said you locked the door!" the blonde hissed as he shoved Sasuke off him, desire fleeing and reached over to close the door before his grandfather reached them. It was a good thing that Konohamaru fainted backwards and not into the bathroom.

Sasuke shrugged as he stood up watching Naruto pulled his clothes back on with regret. "Opps?"

Naruto eyes narrow. That bastard!

"Opps? Sometimes I hate you!"

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Kakashi tried not to limp as he walked as quickly as he could through the small private airport. He was being followed by a desperate and still giggling Obito as he made his way down to the parking lot where a limo was waiting to take them to Madara's mansion.

"I'm so sorry, Kakashi!"

His irritating boyfriend was yelling after him. Kakashi didn't even spare him a glance instead he winced as he picked up the pace. The Fearsome Five had something to do with his recent 'almost' colonoscopy.

If that wasn't humiliating enough, he was limping as he walked thanks to his over endowed lover and the fact that he hardly ever bottoms. Instead of getting molested by those masked lugs, Obito had 'conveniently' come to his rescue and he ended up with his ass in the air, pressed against the table in the interrogation room with his lover humping away.

But he wouldn't give his future brother-in-laws or his doofus of a lover the satisfaction of seeing him complain.

Kinye, Bin, Daisuke, Eeichi, Chiyuu and, of course, let's not forget his own lover were now on his list. If those fools thought that he was just going to let this one pass, well it was about time he showed them just what it was about him that made Obito's heart flutter. He smirked, feeling a thousand times better, and waited for his lover to catch up to him.

Obito reached his side and looked at him an apology on the tip of his tongue but he shivered instead. Kakashi was wearing a very coy, almost shy smile and his grey eyes held a glint of deviousness. Deviousness and Kakashi… well, that was a combination that spelled trouble.

"Now, Kakashi, don't do anything I might regret," he said cautiously as he slid into the limo. Kakashi's smile only grew wider and Obito was very… concerned. Kakashi slid in beside him and he wondered if he should call his brothers and warn them about future events while trying frantically to remember if he had ever given Kakashi ammunition against the prats.

"Don't worry, my dear," Obito leaned away from the sinful tone, "there won't be much bloodshed."

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Why was he on Konohamaru duty? Sasuke though while yanking the semi-comatose man out of the limo banging his head on the door frame in the process.

"Take it easy with him!" Naruto hissed as he helped the twins out of the car. Sasuke shrugged and winked at the giggling munchkins. He heard Naruto's grandfather chuckle and he almost cracked a smile but the threat of never having sex again gleamed profoundly in Naruto's blue eyes that just happened to be glaring daggers at his back.

He turned to the drooling Konohamaru who stared back at him blankly and wondered about the fragility of the medical student's mind. It had only been a little blow job and they hadn't even been fully undressed. Not to mention that they all had the same equipment, so what was the bid deal?

He almost sighed with relief when he saw his cousin, Sai, heading towards them. Naruto, he noticed, looked to be arming himself with the children, quickly picking them up.

"Hello, cousin," Blank black eyes met Naruto's, "Tiny," Sai greeted them fake smile widening as Naruto gave a low growl.

"Mommy, why are you growling," Yoshi giggled placing a small hand on Naruto's cheek.

"What's wrong with him?" Sai said nodding toward the staggering Konohamaru as he lead them to the doors of the mansion.

Sasuke threw a playful glance at Naruto who gave him a quelling look. "He is Naruto's brother," Sasuke said instead pushing Konohamaru inside like that explained it all. "Do you think you can snap him out of it?"

"Don't you dare give my little brother to that maniac!" Naruto put down the kids on the couch.

"Sure," Sai grabbed Konohamaru and headed to the French doors leading to the pool area with Naruto right at his heels.

"Uncle Sai likes to tease mommy," Yuri inclined her head to the right and looked up at her daddy.

There was a splash before Sasuke could say anything and he hurried toward the doors, Yuri and Yoshi following behind him eager to see what the commotion was all about.

The twins stared at the funny picture that Naruto made with his hands around Uncle Sai's neck. Their uncle was turning blue slowly while their mommy shook him like a rag doll his own face red with anger. They turned their gaze to the pool where their uncle Konohamaru was treading water and sputtering.

"Dobe!"

They giggled watching their daddy trying to pry their mommy's hands from Uncle Sai's neck.

"What's going on?" their grandfather asked standing next to them. Yuri gave a small giggle and answered. "Mommy's mad."

"I see. Why we don't go inside to look at our rooms?" Sarutobi held out his hands to the reluctant twins. They really wanted to see if mommy made their uncle turn any other colors.

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Rioki had been working for Madara Uchiha for nearly twenty five years. As such, she knew when to laugh, when to be quiet and most importantly when to disappear, as quickly as possible. The last was never really something that Rioki had to deal with. Madara looked to her to be his sounding board for nearly every aspect in his life. Privately, the gray haired woman would admit that the best way to deal with one of the deadliest and insane people she had ever met was to use non-committal phrases.

And she knew a lot of non-committal phrases. Hmmm… is that so, sir… of course, sir… of course not, sir… I can only imagine, sir… really, sir…

The gate had called to announce the arrival of their guests and Rioki could hear them out near the pool. Madara had asked that she alert him when they arrived and that he would be in his study.

Pushing the heavy oak doors open, Rioki stilled at the door, waiting for her eyes to adjust to the darkness. The muted colors of the television sent odd shadows over the furniture but she was able to make out the thick black spikes of her employer over the back of the leather couch.

Stepping closer, she stopped once more when the sound from the television penetrated her senses.

"… smiling does not always convey a sense of caring to the people around you. Try to imagine yourself in their shoes…"

Rioki walked forward, lifting the remote from the side table and turning the television off. Setting the remote on the desk, she turned the desk light on and took in her employer sound asleep on the couch. In one pale hand he held a DVD case. Stepping closer, she eased the case from his fingers, nearly snorting out loud when she read the title.

"Empathy and You: Twelve Easy Lessons"

Rioki set the case on the television stand and stood in front her employer.

"Raise and shine, sir. Your guests have arrived and it's time to see if you gleaned anything while you were sleeping."

Black eyes blinked open and Madara stood slowly, adjusting his tie. He plastered a huge cheesy grin to his face and looked at his maid, "Did you say something? Are they here?"

Rioki made her way to the door and without turning, she nodded her head, "They have arrived."

God help them.

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Naruto was glaring at Sai who had suddenly grown a sense of preservation and politely kept his eyes and fake smile away from the blonde.

The Fearsome Five were looking subdued while their wives eyed them with poorly disguised irk.

Konohamaru had recovered from the shock of seeing his brother get head from his husband and had pushed the memory deep, deep… like black hole deep… into his subconscious. Sarutobi-san was talking and laughing with Sasuke and Obito's parents while the twins took turns basking in their grandparent's attentions.

Sarutobi laughed as Fugaku and Fukashi, Obito's father, related their sons' most embarrassing childhood stories. The Uchiha clan was not too thrilled with their respective fathers' tale's of their boyhood mischief.

Madara had a smirk on his face. Yes, he was aware of the fact that his family was not exactly normal but right now, in that moment, all the differences didn't really matter. He swept his eyes over the table, briefly landing on each couple and individual that made up his grand family.

Naruto was laughing, his golden hair falling over his eyes as he tried to feed Sasuke, who despite an angry frown was looking at his husband with nothing short of endless adoration. Sai was busy leaning close to the Fearsome Five teasing them about their wives recent threat on their lives for their indiscretions at Sasuke and Naruto's bachelor party. Obito sat on Kakashi's lap, laughing at the silver haired doctor's smug face as he showed Obito's brothers pictures of the brothers with their laps full of half naked strippers. Itachi was whispering into Hinata's ear as the girl giggled her hand resting rather high up on his thigh.

Madara smiled gently trying out the new 'loving smile' that he had recently learned from his new DVD purchase.

The smile slipped when Sasuke quieted the table by asking, "Uncle, are you having a heart attack?"

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The light from the bonfire illuminated all of their faces while bottles of imported beer chilled in huge metal buckets of ice.

The twins went to sleep soon after dessert was served and now the whole family sat under the stars, basking in the lull of the fire and the warmth of the alcohol.

Sasuke held Naruto between his legs on a white washed wooden lounge chair. His head lay against the back of the chair and his eyes were closed against the night. The alcohol was numbing his senses and Sasuke found that he enjoyed the sensation. The fire crackled as the soft murmurs of conversation and sharp barks of laughter filled the night air.

Black eyes remained closed but Sasuke turned his attention to Konohamaru who was talking with Itachi and Hinata

"I still think Naruto should have worn a dress, if for nothing more than entertainment's sake." Konohamaru took another deep drink from his beer, "Imagine how nice he would have looked in yours." He nodded toward Hinata who sat wrapped in her husband's arms.

Itachi snorted and Hinata giggled. "I thought the suit he chose was very charming."

"Please… we all know he's the wife. He changed his name, my niece and nephew call him 'mama' and he's just…" Konohamaru toed the sand, "Well, damn… he's just cuter."

Sasuke mentally shrugged. He couldn't deny any of that. He heard Itachi take a deep swallow of his beer before he chuckled darkly. Sasuke subconsciously shuddered.

"And if he carried a handbag, we'd find Sasuke's balls tucked safely inside."

Konohamaru laughed until he fell off the chair, beer soaking into the sand. Sasuke's grip must have tightened because Naruto shifted in his arms.

"Ease up, bastard."

Sasuke turned a hostile glare toward his brother who smirked cockily and saluted him with his beer bottle. Turning back to the dobe in his arms, Sasuke placed a kiss on Naruto's crown earning himself a smile and a quick kiss on his jaw.

"It's okay, teme." Naruto whispered interrupting his conversation with his grandfather and Sasuke's parents, "It's a really nice handbag."

Sasuke growled ducking his head and biting Naruto's neck. "Hn. And you would have looked ravishing in Hinata's gown."

Grandfather Sarutobi turned to Fugaku and Mikoto, smiling brightly before saying, "It is so nice to see young married couples communicating so effectively."

Mikoto laughed and Fugaku nodded sagely, "Or so secure in their roles."

Their gazes turned at a shuffling sound beside them. Naruto had twisted in Sasuke's grip, now straddling his wide eyed husband. Tan fingers yanked back inky black locks until their eyes met. "I am not a girl."

A throat cleared and Naruto glared across the flames at an empty smile. "I could cut yours off, cousin." The creepy smile didn't waiver and Naruto sat back until he rested on Sasuke's thighs. A small smile came to his mouth when he felt wondering hands wrap around his hips. Sai's smile grew in fake intensity. Naruto growled, "Furthermore, I have the capability of assuring that you will stay alive and AWAKE throughout. Oh, the joys of modern medicine."

The smile slipped and silence filled the void until Madara leaned forward tossing Naruto a bottle. "I'd be interested in how you…"

"Dammit, big brother!" Fugaku cut in, "This is a family gathering, not job research and recruitment."

Madara ducked his head, "Of course. You're right."

"Ah, what did we miss?" Obito said coming up behind his uncle and clapping him on shoulder. The older man tensed at the unfamiliar invasion of his personal bubble and two huge goons materialized out of the shadows. Obito either didn't notice or didn't care because soon he had thrown his arm around the man's shoulder. Kakashi stood behind him, hands in his pockets but his eyes stayed glued to the armed monkeys.

"Actually," Obito said releasing Madara and plopping down cross legged on the sand, "I don't care. Let me tell you all what you missed while I was gone." The smile was contagious and he had the entire family's attention. "After a rather boring tirade about my immaturity, the uncertainty of life, the Fuckhead Five and a family tree that hasn't been pruned of mental instability in generations…"

A large hand slapping over his mouth stopped his words and Kakashi hissed, "Do you want me to die?"

Obito shook his head, eyes sparkling with mirth and happiness as he pried the fingers away. "The bottom line is my sex kitten has agreed to marry me."

Cheers and claps erupted around the fire but all Kakashi heard was the ominous sound of knuckles cracking. "You are all crazy…" The silver haired man mumbled dropping his face in his hands.

Sasuke laughed and Kakashi turned to see the dark haired man and Naruto at his side.

"We just might be, Kakashi, but a brilliant, albeit lazy, shrink once told me that Uchihas make crazy look good."

Meeting the eyes of his family Sasuke raised his bottle. "To the Uchihas."

"TO THE UCHIHAS!" The rest chanted and even Kakashi tipped his bottle.

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Sasuke shoved his feet into his shoes, hastily lacing the ties before bounding across the kitchen to give the twins a kiss goodbye.

"Love you, daddy!" Yoshi whispered and smirked at his sister when Sasuke paused and gave him another hug and kiss.

"I love you MORE, daddy." Yuri replied with a sweet pout and a strategic batting of long, dark lashes.

Sasuke stood for a moment before stepping over to his daughter and giving her another kiss as well. When Yoshi opened his mouth Sasuke held up his hand. "I love you both. Now eat. Be good and don't think I don't know what you're doing."

The twins stared up at him with huge blue eyes and Sasuke just groaned before heading back toward the door only to still when he saw his path was blocked.

Naruto stood holding his coat, scarf and… umbrella. "I love you…" Naruto stepped closer, slowly wrapping the scarf around Sasuke's neck before leaning forward and purring, "very, very much."

Sasuke fisted Naruto's blue scrubs in both hands and yanked him forward their lips meeting painfully before his tongue and teeth teased their way inside and the pleasure flowed directly downward causing both men to moan into the kiss.

Naruto twisted his head away and pried Sasuke's fingers off his shirt. "Wow… that really does work. And if I'd pouted…"

Naruto didn't get to finish because Sasuke growled stepping closer to whisper into Naruto's ear, "Tsunade would have my ass because I was taking yours and didn't get to work in the twenty minute time frame."

Naruto laughed and tossed the coat he still held to Sasuke and watched the man slip it on before holding out the umbrella. "The twins and I will finish up here and I'll see you at work in an hour."

Sasuke glared at the umbrella and glanced out the window, "It's not going to rain, dobe. There's not a cloud in the sky and the weather man said…"

The crack of thunder filled the apartment making the twins giggle and Naruto grin.

"You were saying, teme?"

THE END

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Finished, done… finally. Sorry, again, for the wait.

And because I'm all about the cause. If you haven't nominated your favorite stories for the Naruto Fan Fiction Awards, now is the time. You can find the link and other information on either of our profiles. My job here is done.