I Need You For Hope

Chapter Eleven

Narcissa Malfoy was nothing like Harry thought she would be. She was kind and always spoke softly to him and she mothered him to no end. And as he lay in bed, Narcissa always spoke to him. And without any reserve that he could hear or see. He'd never expected her to talk about her life and family with so much openness, and he was constantly surprised that he enjoyed listening to her. He especially liked it when she would linger on Draco during her talks, and he tried not to make it obvious he was listening with every fiber of his being. Harry had the feeling she noticed and was all too happy with his eagerness for more information on her son. He also found she was just as manipulative as Dumbledore, and with more force, though every one of her actions was to his benefit rather then for the benefit of the Greater Good, which did wonders for his moral as well as his growing fondness for her.

A few days after he had first awoken, Lucius Malfoy himself had come to pay a visit. Harry had been shocked and dismayed to wake up and find Malfoy standing beside his bed, gazing at him with a mixture of pity and something else he didn't even want to fathom. Malfoy didn't say much. Only that he hoped Harry returned back to health soon and then he went on his way. The short meeting had been odd indeed, and if Narcissa hadn't been there, Harry was sure he might have freaked out.

The day after Malfoy's visit, Harry's voice returned. And though Narcissa knew it, no one else did, not even the Healers and neither he nor Narcissa let it be known that he could speak. Harry didn't talk much. He preferred everyone thinking he was still mute. People tended to leave him alone because he couldn't respond. Though he did speak to Narcissa. Just as he had an ear for her, the blonde witch always had one for him, even when he began to talk in riddles, trying to sort through his thoughts. And when he had first done it, and then realized he wasn't alone, he'd expected to find himself scrutinized in a negative way, but Narcissa had simply smiled and tried to respond as best she could, helping him sort through his current feelings. She had a way of helping without actually seeming to. Harry found he liked her quite a lot.

" Why haven't I seen my friends?" he whispered one morning to her.

Narcissa set aside her book, bent over, and pushed black strands away from his eyes in the way she'd been doing since she'd first started watching him. Harry was nearly used to the soft look in her eyes by this time. "I'm taking it as a good sign that you've inquired about them… It's not that they don't want to come visit, Harry. They're desperate to see you in fact. But… Severus and I felt you needed time alone. However, if you don't like it, then I shall send for them. Remember, you can have whatever you want."

"No, that's all right. Now that you mention it, Dumbledore did say they should stay at school until graduation. Not so long away now, is it?"

A small frown flitted across the blonde woman's face, "awake for that, were you?"

Harry shrugged in answer and then turned his gaze away. "Um… how's Draco?"

"He's fine."

The short answer was obviously a lie but Harry didn't push for more information. Though he wanted to. He wanted it as much as he wanted to see the blond. Harry had tried to keep the blond from his heart, but he supposed nothing ever worked out the way he planned. And as the days passed, more then not Harry sought out the light in the darkness and was content with doing so.

After that short conversation, Harry returned to sleep. When he woke next, the room was completely dark which was unusual, even at night.

Harry slowly sat up, "Mrs. Malfoy?"

"So you can talk. They said you weren't able to yet."

Harry gripped the sheets tightly in hand as he turned to where Narcissa usually sat, finding Draco there instead. The blond murmured something and Harry heard the swish of his wand. A moment later the room was filled with light. Harry hissed and hastily pulled the blanket over his head.

"Still seeking the darkness, then?" the blond practically growled.

"My eyes were suddenly assaulted with bright light. It stung," he murmured defensively and wondered why Draco was so pissed off. "What are you doing here?" when he didn't receive an answer, Harry lowered the blanket and found the Slytherin looking away form him. Draco was slouched in the chair and had one leg pulled up against his chest, using his knee as a pillow for his cheek. His blond hair spilled over the hand wrapped around the pulled up leg and Harry itched to reach out and touch it.

"You didn't answer my question?" Draco finally said, still not looking at him. " Still want to die, Harry? Are you going to leave me on top of a tower again? Leave me with that horrible feeling where I don't know if I'll ever see you again?" Draco finally looked at him, his gray eyes blazing. " Do you have any idea what that did to me? Do you know how many nightmares I've had since that night? How many times I have to hear you beg that sniveling Pettigrew to kill you? How many nights I've dreamt of standing over your grave?"

The trembling in Draco's voice had Harry turning away. "I didn't want you to get close to me. You were supposed to stay away…"

Draco snorted. "When have I ever conformed to your plans? I prefer doing just the opposite."

A small smile crossed Harry's face. "That's true."

"But I'll get over the nightmares," Draco announced in a suddenly light tone. Harry looked up in time to see the blond shift and rest his feet on the edge of the bed. "And you'll get over this ridiculous death is best notion. You haven't a choice, really. I need your help. I'm planning on a trip after graduation. A long trip. Traveling the world, seeing things I've always dreamed of seeing. I've only been to France outside of Britain..."

Intrigued by the blond's sudden mood change and with the subject, Harry met Draco's bright gaze curiously. "What do you need me to help with?"

Draco smirked. "I need someone to pack my bags, of course."

"P-pack y-your bags!" he sputtered with outrage, his green eyes widening and darkening. Practically spitting fire.

Draco dropped his legs to the floor and leaned closer in order to submerge into the beautiful enflamed jewels pinned on him. "That's what I said," he whispered. When Harry's furious eyes dropped down to his lips, a soft smile grew. "I can't very well pack my own bags, can I? Malfoys don't do such things. I'll need you to pack my bags while you're packing your own."

Harry blinked stupidly for a moment, seeing nothing but Draco's lips, but finally the blond's words sank in. "My bags?" he asked.

The Slytherin returned his legs to the bed and leaned back. "I have no intention of traversing the world without you."

Harry tried and failed to keep his heart from pounding loudly against his chest. "Why would you want me with you?"

Draco didn't answer at first. He simply watched the Gryffindor until Harry turned away, unable to keep eye contact. When he did that, Draco snorted and moved to climb onto the bed. Harry stiffened as Draco's body slid onto the mattress beside him- carefully so as not to jostle Harry. The blond used his elbow to keep his head up and then pulled Harry down until the brunet's head was resting against his pale arm. "There's no one else I'd rather share the world with."

A rising emotion barreled its way from Harry's chest on upwards and he quickly raised his hands to press against his eyes. "Don't," he whispered.

Draco made an exasperated sound and pushed Harry's hands down before leaving his palm resting against the Gryffindor's cheek. "I can't stop. I need you." He pressed their lips together before Harry's eyes opened and hoped to be well received because Merlin he'd wanted to do this since Severus and Mother smuggled him into Harry's room.

Instead of being pushed away, Harry lifted his hand and covered Draco's before leaning into the touch and parting his trembling lips, submitting immediately to the tongue quickly taking advantage of his compliance. And when Draco took the kiss deeper, Harry let his hand slip away from his face to raise and thread it through his hair.

But Harry pulled back moments later, and Draco was relieved to see how reluctant he was to do so. "You ruined everything," Harry whispered. "Ruined the darkness…"

"Always a pleasure to ruin your plans."

Harry's scowl was more from habit and really had no feeling behind it. "I don't know what I want or what I'm going to do…"

"But you do want me, don't you," the Slytherin asked, certainty lacing his voice as he skimmed fingers across the Gryffindor's collarbone. Harry's blush was answer enough, and Draco barely resisted the urge to jump to his feet on the bed and crow his delight. Instead he said, "then I'll tell you what's going to happen. You're going to be you and you're going to be with me and we'll take it one day at a time."

"You and your mother are taking over my life," he mumbled.

"The thing is, we want you to live free and be happy. Tell me that doesn't sound good."

"And if it doesn't? Are you going to leave me alone?"

"If it were me, would you? Would you let the darkness take me?"

"That's not fair…"

"Didn't think so," the blond replied with a smug grin.


Mr. and Mrs. Weasley were scheduled to arrive in a few minutes and Harry sent Dumbledore out to wait in the hall for them, leaving the Malfoys and Severus within the room. He'd done this on purpose because he wanted to do something and he only really trusted Narcissa and Severus. Lucius Malfoy could stay because he was certain as soon as she could, Narcissa would tell her husband what Harry had decided anyway.

"Where's my wand?" he asked the three standing at the foot of his bed.

Lucius simply raised a brow while his wife's lips thinned. It was a telling sign that she was worried about why he was asking for it. She probably thought he was relapsing. Severus simply glowered at him.

"Why do you want to know?" Severus inquired with barely restrained fury. Lucius turned to his friend and raised the other brow.

"I'm not going to kill myself with it if that's what you're worried about." Harry snapped back.

"You're still not getting it back for some time."

"I didn't ask about it for that."

"Dumbledore has it," Lucius finally answered.

"Can you get it from him?" Harry dropped his eyes to the sheets covering his legs when he felt his face flush, "I want Draco to keep it for me."

Narcissa's eyes brightened and she made a sort of cooing noise that scared Harry. And he was sure the witch would have started to fawn over him if Lucius hadn't quickly caught his wife's elbow to keep her at the foot of the bed. Then Lucius pinned him with a hard stare. "Do you have any idea how Draco will take such a gesture, Potter? Do you understand the implications? You must be certain before you do this."

"I want Draco to keep it," Harry repeated, keeping his eyes locked on Malfoy.

"It will be done," Severus said after a moment.

Narcissa ran over to Harry's side when Severus turned to invite Dumbledore and the Weasleys in. "Oh, I would hug you to death if only your body weren't still so fragile."

"Well then I'm sure he's thanking the gods he's in moderate pain," Lucius replied.

Harry tried to disguise his laughter by snorting and covering his mouth and then thought how truly odd it was to be genuinely amused by something Lucius Malfoy said.

All too soon Harry was studying the adults standing at the foot of his bed. The Malfoys stood on one side while Mr. and Mrs. Weasley stood on the other. Severus and Dumbledore stood at the back of the room. Dumbledore standing patiently and Severus impatiently waiting for Harry to tell the Weasleys what he and the Malfoys already knew.

Finally Harry prepared for the backlash and looked to the Malfoys before nodding.

"Obviously he's been coerced!" Molly screeched.

"Now Molly…" Arthur tried.

"He's chosen." Lucius said coldly. "Is this what happens every time Potter has made a decision in the past? You try to pressure him out of it."

"The unsupervised choices he's made in the past have usually ended up with someone dying," Molly spat. "Being with your family could only mean more of that."

Harry reared back as if slapped and then closed his eyes tightly shut and shook his head.

"You heartless witch!" Narcissa raged in an uncharacteristic show of fiery temperament. "Have you any idea how many lives he's saved?"

Lucius gripped his wife's elbow and sneered at Molly and as he spoke, ice dripping with every word. "Mr. Potter has made his decision and already it has been proven the correct one."

Severus loomed in front of Molly and looked over her head at Dumbledore. "Get her out of here," he hissed before looking the witch in the eyes, "and I suggest you stay away from Harry from here on out."

"Molly, how could you say something like that?" Arthur softly admonished as he and Dumbledore pulled the sputtering witch from the room.

Narcissa approached the bed where Harry sat still, his face pale and drawn, eyes tightly shut. "Harry…"

"I n-need to use the bathroom," he rasped and threw the blanket off his legs.

"I will help you."

Harry nodded and accepted Severus' help only because he wouldn't be able to make one step without falling on his face. As it was, it was still mildly painful moving at all.

"Really," Lucius hissed the moment Severus rejoined them to give Harry some privacy, "is it always like that with Potter? Is that how the Order worked? Bullying him?"

Narcissa sniffed. "Saying such despicable things? It's no wonder he preferred the darkness!"


Mrs. Weasley was a bitch, Harry decided that night as he lay wide-awake, still in St. Mungo's. A total and utter bitch, and he'd felt great satisfaction in hearing Severus say those exact words hours before just after he'd left the bathroom and was settled back in bed with a dose of pain killing potion. He'd also taken great wonder in watching Narcissa's eyes frost over with such coldness and then change moments later to fire every few minutes as the witch continued to think about Mrs. Weasley.

They were afraid- she, Severus, and even Mr. Malfoy- that Mrs. Weasley's words would have done a lot of damage to his mental state. He could see it in their eyes, the worry. But Narcissa had lay him back down and brushed the fringe out of his eyes softly before sitting down to read a book, while at the same time Severus had brutally demanded he not listen to a word that total and utter bitch had said and if Harry so much as began to think the redhead witch was right then he'd have him cleaning cauldrons well into next year. Lucius Malfoy had stood back, looking on with a blank face, but at one point during Severus' tirade, he'd smirked at his friend's back in an amused and agreeing way. Three different ways to get him through it, all totally different then what he was used to, and every one of them had succeeded to a degree.

But it was impossible not to have heard Mrs. Weasley and not think about Sirius. "I miss him," he whispered. "I didn't know him all that long, but I miss him."

"He would want you to move on, Harry. My cousin was the type of person who'd rather see those he cared about happy more then anything, under any circumstances. You do know that, don't you?"

Harry nodded, and then he turned to her. "Your sister killed him."

Narcissa's eyes bore into his and it was hard to tell what she was thinking. "Bellatrix was caught last week and given the Kiss, along with many others."

"I'm not sorry," he replied coldly.

She surprised him with a soft smile. "You shouldn't be, Harry. But I am sorry she took Sirius from you." She sighed and brushed his fringe away and Harry wondered if she would always do it when she thought he needed comfort and hoped she would never stop. "You need cheering up. I know two people who are dying to bring it to you."

"Yeah," Harry breathed, suddenly excited to see Ron and Hermione. "Yes, I'd like that now."

A/N: So short, I know. Forgive me. But for those of you who like this story, you'll be glad to know this is not the last chap. Next chap should be longer and this story is rated M for a reason :D. Anyway, really do hope you enjoyed this segment. Would love to hear your thoughts. Have a great day!