IMPORTANT AUTHORS NOTE PLEASE READ!

This is an updated version of the first four chapters. im finally going to fix all those mistakes and spelling errors. I have indeed read the books im just really bad at spelling and haven't read them in a very long time. I will try to keep all spell canon and maybe some invented one by the characters. please continue to point out my mistakes and give me ideas and feed back, I love it all. just please be nice as most everyone has in the past. after i post this i will start work on chapter 5 in a day or so. I used to have a plan for this story but I've forgotten it so im going with the flow. Thank you for your time.

oh and before you get annoyed, I know Hermione is older than what i have her as in this story. I wanted her to be younger. It makes her just a little bit more please tell me how i am with my formating i never rember if you alwaysstart a ne paragragh when another person starts talking and i indented four spaces each time.

Chapter One The arrival

Hermione just came off the night bus, to the burrow after her doubly painful summer. She had always hated summer. Her friends new it, but didn't truly know why. The reason was that Voldemort had killed her mother in her third year and her father had become a raging abusive drunk. He blamed her and her world for his wife's death.

She was going into her sixth year but was only 15 because she started at the age of 10, some kind of magical surge in the system. She walked into the burrow, put her bags down, and sat on the couch thoroughly exhausted. Her muscles ached, her brain hurt, she was so dehydrated, and tired. Spending two weeks in the wilderness will do that to you, among other things. The Weasleys and Harry had heard her come in, but she usually went to the kitchen for a snack before she went to sleep. So, the Weasleys went to her. Molly immediately saw she looked un fed and thirsty.

"Oh, dear I'll get something to eat and drink for you, you look dreadful." She exclaimed as she ran to the kitchen. Ron and Harry looked concerned as they examined her thoroughly. Her vision began to get hazy she wanted to say something to put them at ease but found she couldn't say anything her voice to strained.

"Hermione what happened to you?" Harry asked since Ron was stunned still.

She tried to say that she was fine but she could no longer see or move at all as she fell away into a memory. She was in a deep sleep when Molly came back. Molly tried to wake her to get her to eat but she wouldn't get up.

By now Ginny had gotten up and come down so now it was Harry, Ron, Molly, and Ginny. Ginny looked tired still but wanted to come see Hermione before she went to bed. She saw her mother shaking her a lot and Ron and Harry trying to encourage her to wake up." Mom, what's wrong? Is she ok?" Ginny asked frightened.

Molly took out her wand and preformed a couple of spells. Molly was a great home maker and care giver but never good at getting accurate diagnostic spells correct." She seems to be just sleeping and a little malnourished. I don't understand why though." Molly concluded. Molly hurried to the kitchen while the boys and Ginny looked at Hermione quizzically.

They watched as her eyes moved back and forth rapidly and a light sheen of sweat appeared on her forehead. Molly returned to the room with a cold compress placing it on her forehead. she was a little worried but her spells didn't show anything that was imedeitly threatening. if they had she would have floo called Madam Pomfrey. Hermione often came to them from being at her home tired and a little under the weather. She assumed that it was due to muggle medicine not being the same as magical remedies.

-DREAM/MEMORIE-

Voldemort sat on his throne –a wooden chair with a glamour charm on it- staring smugly at his prisoner. "Miss Granger, where is our dearest Potter?" Voldemort asked in the iciest of tones. "I WILL NEVER TELL! I AM LOYAL..." Hermione's voice faltered from 2 months of screaming the same thing over and over again.

Voldemort was definitely angry. He stood up and walked to Hermione until he was inches from her. She did not back away. Normally his followers wouldn't be in the room but he thought they might intimidate her so he brought them in on the torture this time. He also liked to show them his power every once in awhile, give them the joy of not being on the receiving end of his wand. He looked into her eyes and delved into her mind.

Hermione had studied both Legilimency and Occlumency the moment after Harry had told her about his lessons with Professor Snape. She had it perfected by the 5th time she tried. She tried Legilimency by very gently entering other students minds. However her Occlumency shields had never been tried. Harry told her everything that Snape told him so that helped tremendously. She also figured out something that she found in no book. She had found a way to create memories by strongly and in detail imagining something without it actually happening. If some one really inspected the memory in great detail they would probably be able to tell something was off about it. Fortunately Voldemort was not that sort of wizard.

He had never used Legilimency before. It took her by surprise, but she still always had her mind blocked. She learned that she could block out the pain that way, only letting it in later in little bits through out the time she was in her cell in what she assumed was night. He was sorting out her memories purposefully making it painful, she let him see her Harry, and Ron having fun. They were playing cards, talking, watching a movie, muggle of course, and her and Ron snuggling up.

Voldemort was still looking she thought he would leave by now. So, she created a few memories she thought would get him out. Hermione knew how to do it with her magic but she wasn't very strong now so it wasn't an option. She thought hard about Harry and Ron beating her kicking her, punching, slapping, and yelling at her until she was all bloody and bruised. It was so vivid Voldemort believed it. Once he retreated ripping his presence from her mind all she could think was "What an idiot."

He left her mind and stumbled back, staring at her intently.

"If they do such things to you why would you protect them?" He asked Hermione showing confusion. Apparently forgetting his followers were in the room.

She did not answer him. Truth be told she couldn't think of anything that wouldn't sound foolish. She hadn't expected him to ask so she didn't prepare.

"I could save you from them. You could become my queen." He said in a soft tone.

It surprised her that he could achieve such a low and gentle voice. It was sort of pleasant in a weird way. She almost laughed at the fact that he thought she would fall for it. She was thinking up a cheeky answer, even though it would earn her the cruciatus when she was done.

She walked up to him and circled him. "Why such a tempting offer." She said in a light sexy voice. Well best she could muster since her voice was over used." Why would u give me a mud blood know-it-all school girl such an option so great?" She smiled inwardly at how mad he would get.

"You are smart and are capable of helping Me." He watched Hermione's body move around him. Never looking away from her. If she were armed and strong he may have took caution, but he knew she was weak. He made sure of it. Waking her up at the same time 4 am never letting her rest. Voldemort was actually finding the rasp in her voice from her screams alluring. Knowing that it was raspy because of his torture.

"It's so tempting to say yes, but as I know," she spoke into his ear. He shuddered. "You will be on the losing side of this war I will never be in your ranks, EVER."

He swirled around and yelled "CRUCIO!" she fell to the ground, but did not scream. She had stopped screaming after a weak it was a waste of much needed energy, but since she was changing the routine...she burst out laughing like a mad women. All the death eaters gasped. quietly murmuring. Voldemort intensified the curse and so did her laughter. Hermione's laughing was the same as screaming to her. it released the same endorphins in the brain as screaming. She did find what she did genuinely funny. Oh dear,the contorted look on his face sent her into higher peals of laughter. She just kept thinking of how pathetic it was that he for a second believed her.

After an hour more of torture he ordered a death eater one she knew to be Lucius Malfoy to take her back to her cell. He grabbed what little weak fabric was left of her black shirt half carrying half dragging her by it back to her they arrived she smiled deviously at him, wiping some blood from the corner of her mouth. Malfoy looked her over noticing every curve of Hermione's young body. Very much diminished by her near starvation. Her shirt barely hanging on. She had to rip the sleeve off and use it as a belt long ago.

"What are you thinking?" she asked innocently, though she suspected she knew the answer.

"That I will bed you tonight." he said already advancing on her. She backed away slowly. Swaying her boney hips provocatively. Malfoy was attracted to power. God she really didn't want to do this.

"Why? Because now you know that the dark lord wants me?" she said knowing the answer when he did not respond to her she continued. "I propose...a deal."

"And what would this ...deal be?" he said drawling closer to her.

"That you may bed me if... you let the wards down for tonight and let me get some fresh air...I swear that I won't say a word" she added hastily. This was her only chance, he would rape her anyway, best to try and get something out of it. There was a small window not to high up, a little above eye level. In the beginning she wouldn't have been able to fit through it. Now however, with the lost weight, it would be a piece of cake. Through the nights she learned that nothing got in or out of it. When it rained the wind would blow right toward the window but no water ever came in. Not even the smell of damp earth and crisp air.

"I agree to your deal. And the only word you'll be saying or shall I say be screaming is my name." with that he cast a spell around the room.

-END DREAM/MEMORY-

Hermione woke with a start, but someone pushed her back down. She focused and it was Ron, she began to cry. She was always most vulnerable when she just woke up. not having enough time to reassert her shields. Ron pulled her close and she cried on him. Harry joined in rubbing her back in soothing circles.

"Oh, Ron it was a terrible dream it just wouldn't end."

She lied to them saying that it was just a dream. She knew it was not however. She looked around as her sniffles quieted she saw the twins, Harry, Ginny, Molly, and Ron staring back at her. Hermione told them a made up story About was was in the dream that she thought reasonable for who they thought she was. Like she bombed on her finals.

Molly spoke first braking the tension "I'll start dinner. Hermione you look famished." she said concerned. To Molly food could fix almost anything. Much like Remus and his just nodded. For an hour they all caught up on their summer activities. She added her father into some of hers and her mom too. Every thing was normal. Well to them Hermione was the same. She hadn't been truly happy in years so no one could tell the difference.

"I am going to take a shower before dinner guys." Hermione said. She wanted to clean herself she felt filthy. Streams just did not clean enough. She un tangled herself from Ron. She didn't like Ron anymore not like she used to. He was too immature. What she went through made her grow up a great deal. Think back on everything he did and said made her realize he just wasn't right for her, as cute as he was. Even harry would be better, but he was the brother she always wished she had. As she took her shower she sang to get her mind of things. Hermione sang very well. No one knew, they all thought she hated music. which wasn't true, she just didn't like all the music about sex, drugs, bitches and hoes that everyone seemed to be bumpin and grindin to.

She came down and dinner was ready the only place left was in between the twins. They were grinning at each other mischievously. She smiled as she sat down.

"Hello Fred," she said looking at him "Hello George." She said looking at George. She could tell every one apart now just by their smell, walk, smile, anything. Hermione spent enough time thinking she'd never see them again. Reviewing everything she ever saw of them over and over. Every laugh and smile, every smell and sound, letting those happy things envelope her like a warm embrace. Some she cherished others she analyzed, keeping her mind sharp.

It surprised everyone when she got their names rite. They all were looking at her.

"What? What did I do?" she asked innocently.

"You can tell the twins apart? Since when? Not even Mum can." Ron piped up out of the stunned silence.

"I have my ways." she answered cheekily.

Everyone just smiled and ate. Hermione was sure the twins had a prank planed but they must have forgotten.

Hermione spent her time reading and doing the summer home work that she couldn't do before. Her father was going to be furious. If he even noticed she was gone, he would probably notice his laundry wasn't done first. He'd probably beat her worse than before or…maybe even…no she wouldn't think of it. She had until winter break, the only break she didn't spend at the school or the burrow.

They were leaving for Grimmauld Place place that afternoon so she was in her room packing the last of her books into her trunk when she smelled the familiar scent of herbs, earth, and potions.

"Hello Professor." Hermione greeted without turning. She turned around with her trunk if he was surprised he didn't show it.

"Are you ready to leave?" he asked. She nodded.

"May you?" she pointed to her trunk silently asking him to shrink it.

"You can carry it." He said irritated as he was walking away she mumbled. "Actually I can't." Snape turned around quickly.

"What was that Miss Granger?" he asked harshly thinking she had possibly mumbled an insult.

"I said I can't I haven't …..been well this summer" she answered he looked like he didn't believe her but shrunk her trunk anyway. She said thank you following him out.

Chapter 2 the trip

Hermione followed behind Snape wondering how they were going to get to the train this year. They sometimes used floo other times the used brooms which she hated and everyone knew it, she made sure they did. She had read every book on flying of course, but that didn't get rid of the fear. Even the thought used to make her shiver, however now she didn't even feel an inkling of fear. This surprised her so much she gasped. Snape stopped and turned sharply to glare at her.

"Sorry professor …but how are we getting to the train this year?" Hermione asked.

"We are going by broom." He answered with what she would call amused grin anticipating her discomfort. It couldn't be a smile Severus Snape never smiled.

"Oh…..ok." Was the surprisingly simple response he received. She hoped to see surprise or even curiosity but all she got was a blink before he started walking again. Hermione followed him out the door, she began to feel a little tired even with food and proper sleep though it was filled with nightmares. The time she spent recovering in the woods did her some good but not enough that Hermione was back to normal. She sighed, suddenly more glad to be flying than using the floo, She would surely fall on her face upon exiting. She didn't see or sense anyone else around she was about to say something to Snape.

"The plan has been that every one leaves separately at different times without communication it will be safer." He said quietly. "You do remember how to fly Miss Granger?"

"I do professor." She gave a quick nod. Hermione got on the broom he handed her in one fluid motion just how she had seen harry do a million times. It didn't have the graceful flare that harry had, it was smooth none the less. Snape did the same, with flare. She smiled to herself as she kicked off into the air. Again he followed suit kicking off as if he had lived on a broom. She looked at him next to her curiously, wondering if he had played quidditch in school. As they were rising and then moving forward she started to smile. A real smile, she looked at him again he seemed pleased. At least that's the only word she could seem to find that would fit his expression. As Hermione paid more attention to his posture he looked like he was slightly tense almost a quiver, anxious to do more. He is holding back she realized.

"Well if he is holding back let's see how good he is and myself for that matter".She thought as she sped up testing the waters so to speak. He easily kept pace. So Hermione kept steadily going faster and so did he. She was smiling more and more as they sped up together.

-POV change-

Severus Snape looked at the girl next to him when she began going faster. He thought she was afraid of heights she freaked out the last year that the order had to travel by broom. He kept pace of course he wasn't going to let her show him up. She surprised him as she kept going faster and faster. He was holding back before because he didn't want her to fall but here she was taking what he thought was a risk to hersafty by going faster. Severus looked at her she was smiling; he had never seen that smile on her face not even when she was around Potter and Weasley. He wanted to smile whenever he was on a broom but it seemed he was always with someone that he needed to be stoic in front of. Severus loved to fly, he was good at it too. He felt safer than anywhere else, like no one could touch him up there. When he was in the sky he had all the control. He looked sharply at her when she began to laugh. Her eyes were so bright.

-Back to our girl Hermione-

Hermione laughed like she never had before she felt so happy, so free, positively giddy. After being held in a tiny cell for months she was absolutely happy to be surrounded by nothing but the wind. The wind wiped through her hair tangling it but she didn't care she continues to laugh and smile. Hermione wanted more, so she jerked her broom up ward then rolled holding her legs tightly around the broom her hand still lose. She straightened out smiling so much her cheeks hurt. Oh, she wished it would never end but suddenly she smelt old blood and…Lucius Malfoy.

"Professor!" She yelled over the wind "we have trouble, BIG trouble!" all traces of her smile gone. Hermione had no delusions that she would never see them again but still she had hoped not to see the death eaters so soon. She knew that she was weak and her magic in a fragile state due to the various magic tortures that she had suffered at Voldemorts hand. Hermione also didn't think she could out fly them without falling. she knew everything only in theory after all. Her body was sore and her muscles prone to shakes. She flew closer to Snape he had his wand out at the ready. They must be planning on a frontal assault and not far away if she could smell them as fast as she was going. It was good that they were down wind.

"Then again they reek like they never wash in their lives so maybe I can add about 10ft to their distance" She thought

-POV change-

When Hermione yelled out his title Severus was startled and looked at her sharply. He was having the most fun he had had in a long time then she said they had trouble. The urgent tone of her voice was all he needed to convince him she was positive of this. Severus pulled out his wand holding it ready to fight.

"They are coming at us, death eaters, they're only about half a mile of by now at our speed and their possible speed we have about 4 minutes. I can't fight …I'm not well" Her voice bordered on pleading at the end. He was surprised at all the information she had just given him. He remembered a problem in math with trains and speeds that his muggle teacher had given him before he went to Hogwarts. He supposed that she used the same one; she must be good he thought. Severus took all her words in to account. Keeping all his senses on high alert.

"We are going to go up far above the clouds and turn slightly. Understand?" He said this expecting her to suggest something foolish like her two dunderhead friends, but she didn't, she simply gave a short nod and started to rise quickly. He watched her in short glances she seemed relieved but that was all he could tell her face was a little pale, her body relaxed, her face blank, and a muscle in her arm was twitching rapidly. It looked like it should be painful.

Chapter 3 the trip continued

Hermione kept her face as blank as she could and her body as relaxed as possible. Her arm was having a particularly painful muscle spasm and relaxing the rest of her body always seemed to help. Going through the cloud was cold and she was soaked when they came out. Her spell casting was going hey wire so she didn't even try to cast a drying charm. The last spell she cast was muffliato she wasn't able to make a sound for two days. She grit her teeth as her arm muscle finally seized up due to the cold night air plus her newly wet state. Snape saddled up next to her, "Transfer to my broom." Snape told her.

"Why?" Hermione asked looking at him.

"Because unless you know how to do maneuvers that will get us out of death eaters spell fire I suggest you start moving!", he demanded. She did know them, she just couldn't do them.

"Behind you or in front professor?" she asked.

With the raised eye brow he gave her she figured it was safe to assume that he meant behind. In front seemed intimate in some way. Swinging her leg over his broom when he got close enough she used the hand that had the still seized muscle and grab his shoulder as best she could transferring fully to his broom still holding the broom he had given her. Snape shrunk the broom and Hermione placed it in her robe pocket. She heard Snape swearing about his misfortune, and that she was wet,she would have laughed at hearing one of her professors' curse had it not been such a risky situation. Snape just waved his wand in a complicated way and hot air flowed from his wand to surround and dry her.

Hermione's arm relaxed a few minutes later, she felt so relieved that she sighed and flexed her arm. Both Snape and Hermione tensed as they were now flying over and slightly to the left of 5 death eaters. He had hoped that the turn would take them farther away from them, they must have changed course as well. She pulled her hood up and tucked her feet as close to her as possible suddenly glad for her choice of black robes. Not only did it cover how skinny she was but it had some kind of blending spell she hadn't got a chance to research yet witch made her blend into the darkness of the night.

They were past them in a matter of seconds flying as fast as possible. They were both still tense for at least ten minutes before Snape relaxed but Hermione stayed tense because now her side muscle was completely tight. She was breathing heavily through it. Snape didn't say a word about it and she was grateful she knew that he must feel it considering how close she was to him.

"We are an hour out from the safe house from there we will go to the train in the morning!" Snape called over his shoulder.

Hermione was so tired she actually laid her head against his back. He immediately stiffened but she nodded to his statement so he could tell she herd. Her side still tensed the rest of her relaxed as she griped the extra folds of his robe that always billowed. Snape stayed tense not knowing what to do or why his student had laid her head on him. Hermione fell asleep quickly her hands still tight in his robes. It was an empty sleep, devoid of dreams but also devoid of the restorative rest her body and magical core needed.

CHAPTER 4 THE SAFE HOUSE

Snape's feet touched the ground in front of the small cabin with the white door carefully cloaked by spells of all kinds by Dumbledore. Hermione almost fell off before she caught herself. Blinking she started to walk to the door of the cabin in a sleep deprived daze. Snape quickly waved his hand at the door as he realized that she wasn't slowing down, not that she was going that fast anyway. Hermione looked at the open door confused she hadn't touched it but she shrugged it off seeing the couch beyond the door. Almost happily, she collapsed upon it, quickly asleep and softly breathing. Snape just shook his head and took the bed room to sleep in.

Hermione woke early her body so used to waking up at what used to be the uncomfortable hour of 4:00 am. Now that time just became a part of her routine. She went in search of food. Walking into the small kitchen that wasn't but maybe 3 feet away from the dingy brown couch she had slept on, she supposed it should have been uncomfortable. However only being away from Voldemort 2 weeks and sleeping outside in nature that time, it was as good to her as the fluffiest pillow you could imagine. Hermione sighed looking through the cabinets in the dark wasn't easy but she did it. She found bread, peanut butter, and pumpkin juice. Spreading the peanut butter on the bread and devouring it, along with practically chugging the juice. She heard once that peanut butter was originally made by doctors for patients that couldn't eat meat any more.

Hermione then went in search of something to occupy her time until Snape woke up. Looking around the dingy cabin she decided that it needed a good cleaning. About to search for supplies to clean with she realized that it probably wouldn't be a good idea considering it a safe house therefore suppose to be unremarkable in every way and if she cleaned it would probably be gleaming in every single dark corner. Hermione moved over to the very full book shelf and pulled out what looked to be a journal. It had silver lining all around the edges and in the center it had a small box surrounded in green curls. She looked it over admiring its craftsmen ship. She flipped through it finding no words she put it in her cloak needed a journal any way. Plus Dumbledore always said that they were welcome to anything in a safe house. Hermione tried to pull another book from the shelf but it wouldn't move. She tried another and another but none of them would come off of the shelf. Sighing now that that idea was out she sat on the couch thinking back on her stay with Voldemort if you could say it so simply.

The first thing that came to mind was how she got captured in the first place.

-Memories-

Walking home from yet another hospital run Hermione was cradling her newly braced sprained wrist. Her wand was in her waist band resting at her hip; her faded dark jeans had rips in them that Hermione didn't even remember when they got there, her loose black shirt rippled in the wind as she walked home. She knew that she shouldn't have just left without giving them any information at all but she couldn't very well pay for it and her father would be none too happy with the bill anyway. Hermione had gotten very skilled at getting in a hospital for treatment without having to give information and just as good at getting out. She also made sure to go to a different hospital as often as she could. A sad fact but a lucky one for her was that her father had moved them to the slummiest neighborhood he could find and this neighborhood had many hospitals. He moved them when her mother was killed by Death eaters the muggle community sees it as a simple car crash but the signs were unmistakable to her. It was most defiantly a Death eaters attack. The Headmaster knew that her mother died but he wasn't as convinced as she was that it was death eaters. Hermione asked him to keep it quiet anyway. She didn't want the awkwardness of people knowing. She wouldn't know how to deal with people. She heard a rustle in the distance somewhere in the trees that surrounded her on this warm early morning. Her ears on alert, she quickened her pace on the dirt path. This district wasn't the safest and Hermione, after only a month of living there had gotten better at discerning the level of danger to certain sounds.

Apparently she wasn't that good at it because not but a minute later she saw black cloaks and siver masks. Her hand didn't even reach her wand before blackness washed over her.

Hermione woke up in a small very warm cell with no window at all. The door in front of her looked like it was made of metal. It had no handle. This only confirmed her suspicion that she was indeed captured by Death eaters. It wasn't a dream, she didn't imagine it, and she really needed to think of a way out. the window perhaps, no she is much to big for it.

-End memory-

She blinked and looked at the clock it was seven o'clock now. She heard a rustle coming from the back room she immediately pulled her wand and had it pointed in that direction. She wasn't about to make the mistake assuming no threat ever again. Then she smelt the unmistakable scent on her potions master, the scent of herbs and wood smoke, he had so many scents she associated with him. He stood still in the entrance to the room waiting for her to lower her wand. So, slowly she lowered it but didn't put it away. She thought of the confirmation question she was told to ask him. Every member of the order had one.

"Who set fire to your robes professor?" Hermione asked.

"Quarrel of course." He answered simply, and Hermione smiled, he still didn't know it was her that set his robes aflame. "It's about time you finally became aware of your surroundings. I didn't think I was making any noise." He smirked. That was as close to a compliment anyone could get from the dark man. Hermione nodded in acknowledgment to him.

"I've been up since four in the morning sir I didn't know what to do. I left some food I found out for you." Hermione told him. He simple nodded just as she had done a moment before. Coming back in the room five minutes later he found her in the same spot he had left her in before.

"We leave in ten minutes be ready" Snape told her.

"I'm ready now if you are professor?" Hermione responded within a split second.

"OK lets go." he answered gruffly clearly not happy about her response.

Snape enlarged their brooms as they stepped out the door both mounting and taking off straight up flying quickly in to the clouds and above. Snape wasn't too far behind her, not expecting her speedie take off.

The Changes

Just a reference about the laughing before you think its too outragous. here is a link to the first article i found about it just take out the spaces. 2011/09/14/its-no-joke-why-laughter-kills-physical-pain/

i first heard about something like this from my dad. he told me a story once about a man that was a prisoner of war and after awhile when he was being tortured he laughed he just decided to laugh instead of screaming. and thats how he got through it. i don't know where this story come from or if its true but it kinda resonated with me. id like to think that if i was being tortured and i didn't think i had any hope that i would do the same, just laugh. and cry to for sure but laugh.

I thought i would flesh out the Malfoy scene, i thought it was a bit lame that Malfoy would just be like yea sure ill let you go and risk my life just for a little willing sex. so i changed it a bit. not a big difference but makes more sense that he would forgo wards on a tiny little window to let a physically boney and weak women get a little air.

I've made small changes through out.

As useual comment and fav and tell me what im doing right or what im doing wrong. i welcome ideas and advice.