105A/N: OK, well this is the only chapter I will ever write that's in first person… I personally don't like writing in first person, I can only write in third, it's just so much easier for me so I promise this will be the only chapter in this whole fic that will be written in first person.
Ah crap, crap, crap, this chapter was rushed, I was happy with it until it got to the gun bit (you'll see what I mean), from then on, it just all went downhill… You've had you're warning!
HawkEye DownUnder: Well yeah, that was what I was aiming for, lol, and yeah, I'm going to continue this, definitely.
ninjamonkeyts3: aww… I guess there are several clues to who David and Hannah are, but who knows? There might be another plot twist, hehe.
SheWeapon1: Thanks! Next chapter's going to be about MI6 and the certain SAS team I'd promised in the summary…
Lake25: Yeah I guess it does make sense, you really think so? –grins- Oo, I'm wondering what you're suspecting… lol! I'm so glad you're liking it! It's a relief to know people like what you write.
Lisbet687: Thanks! You don't know how much I fretted over whether or not people would like it.
Gold is power: As always, update is here!
Jusmine: Well I'm giving no definite answers about Hannah and David, but it's easy to piece the information together
dappledsunlight: Well this update is sooner then my other fics, lol.
nebulaightspeed: Woo, I'm happy I kept writing as well
Dragon Rider of Alagaesia: Thanks, I always try to update soon.
RedWolf162: Hmm… other people have said the same thing, but, I'm not planning on confirming anything anytime soon (hopefully) But thanks! I'll try.
CMT1992: Well, K-Unit hasn't made an appearance yet, but they will, in the next chapter so keep an eye out for it
Lee Pyro: Well I guess I hadn't been too subtle with the whole David's past thing, lol. Well I'm glad you enjoyed and I hope you will continue to as well.
yotakehisuo174: Yeah, sounds reasonable enough to let Alex stay, he is recovering from injuries and David and Hannah would have to be cruel to let him just walk off after they'd rescued him. Thanks for the review!
BellaBooTwilight: -grins- I'm pretty sure who you think there are, and you might be right, no definite answers from me though at the current moment.
Draek Dragonclaw: Update, I did.
Rose-Aislin: Thanks, and because you asked so nicely, you get more! Yay! Oh yes, SAS is coming in the next chapter (not this one, unfortunatly)
Disclaimer: I don't own Alex Rider, but one could always wish.
Chapter 2: That Voice In My Head
Darkness.
There are many definitions for the word. And it was the only thing I've known. It's a strange feeling, drifting in that small corner of your mind and the strange thing is, I don't even know what's happened to me.
All I know is darkness.
What is darkness? The lack of sight? Or something wicked? Or is it just pure nothingness.
Finally, after an eternity of waiting, I can feel my mind slowly drifting back into the real world. The constant beating of my heart and the feeling of fresh oxygen coursing through my very veins was greeted like an old friend.
I opened on eye, winced, and closed it again. The light was too bright in my opinion. Darkness had been all I knew and now there was suddenly light?
I finally got the courage to open both my eyes, blinking rapidly to clear the black spots way from my vision.
I slowly and painfully pull myself up into a sitting position, looking around at my surroundings as I did so. The room was bare, with the exception of two beds, one of which seemed to have a big lump in it, and a mirror hanging on the wall on the opposite side of the room. There was also this strange rocking motion, or maybe it was just my head.
I looked down at my body, noticing that the clothes I was wearing seemed to be a little too big for me and I had a feeling they weren't my own.
My mind was constantly thinking, trying to add two and two together, but no matter how hard I tried, I had no idea where I was and I was starting to panic.
I surveyed the room again and it took me a moment to realise that the lump on the bed wasn't at all a lump, but instead, a woman. Something told me that it was rude to stare, but there was no one there to scold me so I just continued to look at her, trying to figure if she somehow had been apart of my life.
I heard footsteps approaching and immediately slipped into my previous position, eyes closed and arms by my side. Just as I'd managed to get into position, I heard the door swing open and the faint sound of the stranger's footsteps as he strode across the room. If I hadn't been so attentive, I probably wouldn't have heard the stranger's footsteps as he approached my bed.
I don't know how I know, but I could feel eyes boring into me as the person stopped walking. I could hear their faint breathing as they stood there, for how long I don't know. I didn't dare open my eyes and ask.
Then, almost like a sixth sense I could 'feel' the person reaching out to me and as though on pure reflex, my hand caught the other person's wrist and I opened my eyes.
"Where am I?" I couldn't help myself, my tone sounded harsh and I realised that this man may have just saved my life. I let go of his wrist and sat up as I examined him. The man looked old with features that you would probably forget the moment you walk away, with the exception of the scar running down his face.
"You're on a fishing boat. We found you in the ocean with two bullets in your back." The man replied, he didn't seem too offended at the way I had addressed him, and I didn't understand why.
Well the boat bit made sense, it explains the rocking motion he had felt when he had awoken – and the man did kind of smell like fish.
But, bullets? That can't be right.
I run my hand down my back, wincing as I felt a sudden pain when my fingers touched where I guessed the bullets had gone in. How the hell did I get myself shot? I was so distracted that I almost missed the man's next question.
"What is your name?"
I started to speak, but then realised in horror that I myself didn't know what my name was. I tried my best to think up of anything… a memory… anything. What the hell's happening to me? Why am I like this? Surely I have a life.
I stared into the other man's eyes and I was pretty sure he could see the shock in my eyes. I looked away, not entirely comfortable with the scrutiny I was receiving.
I realised that he's still waiting for an answer, but I was reluctant to reply. Then, the answer came to me just as I was about to give up.
"Y'know, I was hoping you could answer that."
The other man raised an eyebrow, "Well I certainly don't know, young lad. You really don't remember ye' own name?"
I shake my head, "No recollection what so ever." I sigh, my voice sounded hollow as I had said that.
The old man looked sympathetic as he sat down next to me, I could feel his eyes on me so I shifted uncomfortably under his gaze, "You know what? I'll give you something to remember then, my name's David, David Beckett. Nice to meet you." He grinned.
I returned his grin with a small smile of my own, "Nice to meet you too, I'm the boy-with-no-memory." I laughed bitterly.
"Well, young lad. We best try fixing that then." David said in a rather forced sort of cheerful manner.
My smile faded a little, I could already see how hard that might be. Here I am in the middle of somewhere, with no name, no official identity and no idea where I came from. I can't remember my friends or family, my background. I am a nobody.
"I hope so," I said, sounding a little dejected, "I'm not even sure where to start. How does a person regain their memory anyway?"
"It'll probably come to you in your own time, or things might trigger some of your memories." David replied.
"But that's the problem, isn't it? I don't have anything with me that could trigger my memories."
"Ah, don't be so down on yourself, you did have a few items when we pulled you out." He said, grabbing the bundle of clothing I hadn't noticed earlier. David hesitated and pulled an object from the bundle of clothing, "Does this mean anything to you?" He asked.
I gasped, staring at the gun with fear yet also fascination. I slowly reach my hand out and took the weapon from him. The gun fit perfectly into my hand, as though it had been made for me.
That was then the bits of memories flowed through my head. All of it was of guns. Guns, guns and guns. Sometimes the gun was in my hands, but more often then not, the gun was pointing at me. That cold barrel of death pointed in my direction.
I wanted to scream, to cry out. I didn't want these memories, but they continued, joyfully taunting me. I began to wonder why I wasn't dead after so many encounters…
Finally, the flashbacks stopped to my relief. I didn't know how much more I could've taken. As I settled back into reality, I could see that David was looking at me strangely.
I quickly gave the gun back to him, trying my best not to stare at it in horror, "I-I don't know." I finally replied, purposefully lowering my eyes to avoid his stare. "I mean, it could mean something… I don't know what though." I shrugged, trying to sound casual.
I couldn't see David's expression so I didn't know what he was going to say, but what ever it was, I was sure it wasn't going to be anything good.
"Well it was worth a try." David said, the other man seemed to get that I didn't want to talk about it, and for that alone I was grateful, "I guess we'll have go wait and see when we get to Brest." He said as he tucked the weapon away
I let myself relax when the gun was out of sight, it couldn't harm me now. "Brest?" I asked quizzically.
"Small town in France. My wife and I live there." David answered, taking a glance at the sleeping woman on the opposite of the room.
"Oh." I nodded with understanding, "That makes sense. I guess I'll have to find my way around after, though. I don't want to bother you and your wife." I said, trying to sound polite, I knew that there was no way I'd be able to figure my own way around when I couldn't even remember something as basic as my name.
David chuckled, looking amused, "Silly boy, you don't really think I'll let you wander the streets alone, my wife would do my head in if I did such a thing."
"But I can't stay with you!" I protested, "It'll be too much of a hustle, I don't want to be a burden on anyone."
David raised a hand to silence my arguments, "You're in no shape to look after yourself, especially after being shot in the back and you have no means of supporting yourself on the streets – Besides, I would never imagine leaving you behind after we were the one's that dragged you out of ye' watery grave."
I flushed red with embarrassment, "But why? You don't even know me."
"You don't even know yourself, son." David grinned, "And now that we're on the subject… We're going to have to give you a name, we can't be callin' you boy all the time." He said gruffly.
"I don't know if I want a na-"
I cut myself off as I heard a voice… in my head?
"Alex, Alex you there?"
The voice belonged to a woman and I was pretty sure it wasn't David's wife talking because the voice was right in my ear. I shuddered, there was no way I was imagining that voice.
"Can you hear me? Alex, please respond."
I frowned, who was this Alex? Why were the voices in my head talking to me? Why the hell does my 'voice' sound like it belonged to a woman's?
Hmm… Alex, the name sounds familiar enough. Maybe it's mine? Alex. Yes, I'm sure that's my name, or maybe I was just being wistful.
"I think… I think my name is Alex." I said slowly, unsure of myself.
David looked surprised before his expression changed back to neutral, though I swore I could see a hint of sadness in his eyes, "You remembered?"
I shook my head, half wishing that that had been the case, "No, the voice in my head told me so." I winced as I realised how crazy that sounded. Great, he probably thought I was a schizophrenic or something.
"Voice?" David looked stunned, "You've got voices in your head?"
"I… I don't know."
Then, I heard waves of static in my ear. I cringed as the 'voice' started to talk again, I had a feeling this 'voice' wasn't a figment of my imagination after all...
"Alex, if you're transmitter button isn't working then just hear me out. You're landing in France today and we've got some people to pick you up at the dock. You'll recognise them. They'll be working with you for the rest of your assignment. Over."
I tensed. Assignment? That didn't sound too good.
My hand went to my ear as I realised that if the woman, whoever she was, could communicate with me, it meant I had an earpiece or something like it. After a few moments, I managed to pry a small object out of my ear.
Opening my fist, I had to admit, the earpiece was a pretty good piece of equipment, designed to have moulded against my ear and it was hard to spot seeing as it blended well with the colour of my skin (1).
"I guess that's your voice problem solved then, Alex… May I?" David looked at the device in my hand.
I shrugged, but nodded, a little pleased that he had called me Alex. At least I wasn't a nobody anymore, I had a name… well a first name anyway, but it was better then nothing.
"The wonders of modern technology." David murmured, more to himself rather then to me, "I'm guessing it's waterproof otherwise it would've caused sparks and you would've been deaf in one ear." He said wryly.
I noticed that he didn't ask about what this 'voice' had said to me; then again, what would it mean to him? I covered up a yawn, which David noticed.
"You should get some more sleep." He said sternly as he handed the device back to me, "There's no use you being half awake."
I started to protest, but my arguments were met with deaf ears, "Sleep," was all he said before he left the room.
I sighed, deciding I might as well do as I was told. I laid down, staring at the greyish-white ceiling as I tried to get my head around the whole idea that I couldn't remember a thing apart from a few snippets of memories.
I thought about the earlier flashbacks I'd gotton; the gun in my hand as I pulled the trigger and aimed at moving targets, striking them where the most vulnerable areas were. If those targets had been real, they would've been dead…
… And that voice, it was obvious she knew who I was. She had talked about an assignment, a mission perhaps? But what kind? I had my suspicions about what kind of an assignment it was, the gun just added more sense to it.
I then realised something.
I don't want to find out who I had been. Who this 'Alex' person had been.
I was scared… scared of what I would discover. Already I knew I was no normal boy, I couldn't possible be normal, far from it. What normal teenager spends their life staring down the barrel of a gun? Obviously that person couldn't be normal.
I'd rather be a nobody.
It was better then being a killer.
(1) And this shows how little I know about technology, lol. I know that it's a bit weird, but I needed it so that Alex finds out what his name is, makes things much easier for me now that I want to write the rest of it in third person.
K Unit fans: You get to see quite a bit of them in the next chapter (if you haven't already read in the first section)! hehehe.
So, till next time!
Destinystar105