34Horror, shame guilt. There's a lot of emotions that a person can feel at any one time. Fear, exuberance, shame. The list goes on. Jimmie shuffled his sneakers in the loose roadside gravel. This, he had to admit, was a bad situation. In fact, Jimmie would quite willingly go as far as to admit that it was a very bad situation. Quite probably one of the worst he'd managed to get himself into thus far. When it cane to stupid, insulting and outright disgusting things that one can say, Jimmie had taken the cake and candles tonight. He clenched his fists and breathed through gritted teeth. He'd really done it.
"Why the hell did I even say that?" Jimmie swore to himself quietly in the hush of the undeveloped outskirts of town. He could just make the lights of suburbia in the distance. A good hour or two walk until he got back to streetlights. Jimmie sighed and shuffled his feet. He'd better start the trek back sooner rather than later. There was something seriously déjà view going on and it was getting scary. More scary than before because of one major difference. No Ellie. Even if he was never going to admit it, to himself, to his sister or anyone else; Ellie made things better. She was his big sister, and when things turned to custard she was the one to deal. In the thick of it with him. When mum and dad died, Ellie came home. They ordered pizza for a month. Jimmie didn't have to go to school and Ellie didn't go to work. And when the dog-food ran out they ordered pizza for the dog…until they got a letter that said Jimmie was going to get expelled if he didn't turn up for school in the next week. Jimmie didn't know how to cope with this without Ellie. It just didn't work.
Ok, so maybe he hadn't coped too well with this with Ellie…but that was beside the point. The point was that this was a MAJOR freak out. And he was having it on the side of a road.
Running a stressed hand through his hair, Jimmie tried to work out just how screwed he was. But he couldn't get past the part where it didn't make sense. He'd done everything by the book. Everything. And it worked. It worked perfectly. They had won.
They had killed Jake and they had won. That was how things like this work. Kill the evil boyfriend and everything just works itself out. That's how it's supposed to go. Only…. Only Jimmie was having so much trouble not thinking about the fact that there was something small and warm blooded in the scrub a few feet away. He could practically feel the heartbeats inside his head. They were small and fast and almost flowed through him. He wanted to consume it, make it his. The thought of it thrilled him and made him feel sick all at once. This was not ok. Ellie was not ok.
The small animal inside the scrub shifted nervously, dragging Jimmie's focus away from the task, the desperate situation at hand and back on its tiny life-force hidden from sight. Fighting the urge to dive into the half dead bush and hunt down, rip, tear, taste the tiny animal…Jimmie swallowed… he was loosing it. Seriously, dangerously loosing it. Was this how Jake thought? About people? Permanently? All the time?
He hoped not.
He hoped so.
The moon was almost unbearably bright and Jimmie felt like he could see forever. He inhaled deeply, tasting the air… all the interesting things he never bothered to notice before this moment. It was amazing. Every sent, every flavor. Details beyond his ability to describe. He could just stand here and breathe for hours.
Ellie.
There was something wrong with Ellie. Jimmie shook his head. There was something wrong with him. It was getting harder to focus on one thing. Not with the bright moon, and the warm smells. And his sister. He had to look for his sister, before he lost it completely. And apologize to Bo.
No! Screw Bo and that little bitch of his! Jimmie snarled. Bo left him out here. No phone, no way home but his own two legs.
Wait, an expression of panic ran across the young man's face, this wasn't him. Jimmie rubbed his forehead, trying to erase these angry, violent thoughts that couldn't belong to him. Had to belong to the wolf. The wolf that couldn't still be inside him. Pushing its way back out. He could almost feel it, testing him. Swallowing him, consuming him like a tiny heartbeat of a small beast bleeding out.
Jimmie breathed in deep and held it. Trying to drive the thoughts away, silently praying to whatever could be listening that he didn't, wouldn't start turning fur-real on the long way home. That would not end well. No.
The sound of his own footsteps followed him. A twit snapping making him jump like a startled deer. Until he realized there was only him and himself for company. Nobody else, but shadows moved, crawled, followed him until he was forced into a jog just to stay ahead of them. And when they kept up, stalking him so openly that he made an all out run. Sprinting for home. Running as fast as he could, away from the thoughts that burned like fire inside his skull, and even faster still as his back arched and fur erupted down his spine. Muscles bulged, his head felt like it was being split open.
Jimmie screamed.
For his sister, for his parents. For it just to end.
Author's Note: Hey guys, sorry for the sllllow updates, and the rambling that sort of occurred in this chapter. I've kind of lost touch with the flow of this story and I'm just trying to get a feel for it again. Anyway, let me know what you think.