The Key To A Really Good Bachelorette Party

Thick headed was how Lois Lane felt as she trudged her way to consciousness – thick headed and cotton mouthed. She scrunched up her eyes as the early morning sun tried to infiltrate her eye lids. Her muscles were leaden and stiff, it took a great effort for her to roll onto her side away from the sun.

She inhaled deeply allowing her fuzzy mind to make some sense before she began to question what time it was. Her mind began to evoke her memories of the night before, what a wonderful Bachelorette party…

The evening had begun at Blowfish, the best sushi bar in Metropolis, where everyone had a good meal and Champaign to toast the occasion. Then the party had moved to Arnold's Humidor Room, for brandy and cigars, before going to Lita's for the strippers; what a night! After they had closed down Lita's, the party had moved to her apartment for music, presents, and more Champaign.

Lois rolled onto her back and stretched; she heard a few pops and felt looser. Annoyed by her hair, she moved to wipe it from her face, and scratched herself. When she looked to see what was on her hand that could scratch her, her eyes grew wide – what was a wedding ring doing on her finger?

After the party at her apartment she couldn't remember anything! Her surroundings came into focus and she recognized the room she was in by the plaid sheets on the bed. She felt like something was missing, so she raised the sheet and looked down – she tucked the sheet around her and started trying to think of some logical explanation for her to be in Clark's bed wearing a wedding ring and fish net stockings.

The partially open bed room door opened wider just before a body landed beside her on the bed. A sneeze followed her recognition of Clark's dog, Shelby.

He looked at her and dropped the red long-stemmed rose that he carried in his mouth, onto her stomach. He just stared at her as she picked up the rose before he settled down to watch her.

Three sneezes and two minutes later, Shelby's master entered the room wearing a red bathrobe and carrying a tray. She could see a gold wedding band on his finger.

"Smallville! What the…?"

He interrupted, quickly, "Here's your coffee, Sweetheart, and your allergy medicine," and leaned down to kiss her on the cheek, "go with it..." he whispered.

The questions in her eyes were obvious as she tried to urge and explanation from him with her eyes.

"Read your paper, I'll be back in a few minutes." He handed her the paper that had occupied the tray along with another red long stemmed rose.

She stared at his back as he left the room, carefully closing the door after giving her a wink. Confused, she sipped her coffee before taking a couple of allergy pills and laid the two roses between her and the content Shelby. With a feeling of dread, she opened the paper and began reading the front page - beside the second story she saw where Clark had hand written the number 7 in black ink the same size as the type font. Curious, she turned to page 7 and saw where Clark had written a note over an ad…


I'm sure that you are not sure about what is going on and are seconds away from blowing your top. Let me explain what is going on.

Last night at Chloe's bachelorette party you got wasted on Champaign. I know, I know, it takes a lot to get you drunk. Apparently, Chloe and most of the others switched to water while you enjoyed Champaign all night. Sometime after you passed out, and everyone else went home, she and Lucy decided to pull a prank on you by convincing you that you and I eloped last night, there is even a fake marriage license. The prank involved waking me up around three and forcing me to the couch for the rest of the night.

They think I am playing along – you know how much I love being evicted from my bed – I thought you would like to prank them instead by pretending eloping with me was what you want.

Both of them are in the hall listening by my bedroom door, which is why I haven't said anything. I'll be back in a minute to follow your lead.


PS There is a shirt under your pillow.

With a glare at the door, Lois put on the plaid shirt he had placed under her pillow and started plotting…

A few minutes later, Clark stepped into the room.

"Hold the door, Small… Clark." Lois asked, then leaned close to Shelby and whispered something to him.

His reaction bordered on the comedic side as he pulled away from her and bounded out the door.

"What did you say to him?"

"I asked him if he wanted a bath." She answered innocently.

With a laugh, he sat beside the bed and looked at her. "You look beautiful."

She looked away from him for a moment, and then took his hand in hers. "I'm happy, Clark. I've always liked you and I admire the way you look out for me, especially when I don't want you to."


It was her turn to interrupt him, "Clark…" she scooted away from him and pulled the sheet down, inviting him to climb in with her, "I want you to know that I love you and want to be the best wife that I can be."

He started to say that he loved her too, but her lips captured his before the words could leave his mouth. She pulled the sheet up over them as the door swung open giving two very astonished pranksters something to wonder about.

Their kisses became heated as the minutes multiplied; no words were spoken until Clark pulled back and smiled at her, "They've left the farm."

"Gotta' love that super hearing of yours!"

"Think they fell for it?"

"Hook, line and sinker; when did you get the rings?"

"I picked them up yesterday."

"What did you tell them about the rings?"

"That they were left over from when Alicia tricked me into marrying her."

"Chloe bought it?"

"Only because she didn't look at the inscriptions."

"I still want to wait to announce it until after Chloe's wedding."

"I agree, I love her too much to steal her spotlight either."

"Besides, it's kind of fun keeping it a secret!"


The End