Angela: First off, I'm not the only one writing this story. It is a collaborate effort on the part of myself, ShadowoverEgypt, ComputerFreak101, and Lerena, who's pen name I don't actually know, over MSN.
Secondly, it is set duringthe Yotsuba arc of the series. And since Alice in Wonderland is, essentially, nonsense, it only fits that Mello and Near make appearances, since that in itself is somewhat nonsensical.
Lerena Leigh Helena:As one of the mini-writers, LLH has written her part as accurately and IC as humanly possible. She does better purely as Misa, but the other characters were played to the best of her ability.
Compy: I have been dragged here against my will and beg you to help me before the Stockholm sets in and I starts to enjoy this. -waves white flag which is actually L's shirt-
Shadow:Once upon a time, Shadow mistakenly announced to Kelpy-kun she wanted to RP, because she was feeling ill and a little lonely. Once upon a time, the RP plot was simple. Once upon a time.
...-wishes heartily we'd just stuck with that fairytale-
He saw something white. Something white and rabbit-shaped from the corner of his eye. Exactly how a rabbit got into the Task force headquarters he wasn't even going to try to figure out right now. Three nights without sleep had taken their toll on Light's brain, and he simply turned. No rabbit.
No rabbit-Light did a double take. No rabbit, but L. A mini L in a bunny shaped cart, being pushed by a red-faced and wheezing Watari. Light stared, watching as L ran his hand along the cart's side, bringing back white icing and licking it off his fingers. While Light tried to wrap his mind around the fact that L was in a rabbit shaped cart MADE OF CAKE, L pulled a watch from his pocket and consulted it. "Faster, Watari, we're late, we're late, we're late." Watari wheezed some more, looking like he wouldn't need Kira to get a heart attack.
"Ryuuzaki..." Light couldn't help but frown at the sight. "Wouldn't you get wherever you're going faster if you got out and helped push?"
L stared down from on top of his cake-cart, imperious and impassive while dangling a strawberry masquerading as the horn between thumb and forefinger. "Light-kun, that would utterly defeat the object of this enterprise."
"And... what is the object of the enterprise" Light's gaze slid down to the gasping Watari, who continued to wheeze.
"To be pushed to wherever I'm going." A decisive nod, and the strawberry met its doom. "I'm late for a very important date, Light-kun."
A raised eyebrow at the slow-moving car. "...Wouldn't it just be quicker to get out and walk?"
L looked horrified at the very thought. "Light-kun, that would make no sense!"
Right, thought Light, and this is coming from the guy being pushed along in a cart made of cake.
It was at this precise moment that something hit Light. He wasn't handcuffed to L anymore. He was free to leave if he chose to do so.
In fact, he couldn't even see the handcuffs anywhere in the ro-Er, field?
L watched impassively as Light walked past him. "Where are you going?" he asked.
Light turned around. "I'm going somewhere. I don't know where I am, so how do I know where am I headed?"
L blinked. "You're headed where I'm headed."
"And that would be...?" asked Light.
"You'll see." He checked the watch again. "Faster, Watari. Get Light-kun to help you if you must."
Light frowned - again- at the mal-nourished detective. "I'm not pushing you."
"Are you refusing to help me, Yagami-kun" L swiped a large handful of cake, studying the gooey mass in his palm abstractedly.
"I refuse to push you around, like some reigning king."
Dark onyx eyes glowed Light's way. "The possibility of your being Kira has just risen by nineteen point five percent, Yagami-kun."
"What?" Light was hard pushed to hide the incredulous whine in his voice. "How did you work that one out?"
"By refusing to help Watari, Light-kun is hindering the Kira investigation." L sniffily replied. "Something Light Yagami should have no possible reason for doing - unless, of course, Light Yagami is in fact Kira."
Light scowled."That's ridiculous, Ryuuzaki."
A subtle, mocking smile from L. "Are you, or are you not, Light-kun, refusing to help Watari...?"
"Ryuzaki, you're twisting things around again!" Light snapped.
L stared at Light. "Your percentage of being Kira has just risen 5 percent. There is no reason you should seem so defensive. If you were not Kira, then you wouldn't be so upset. Thus, you must be Kira, Light Yagami."
"I'm defensive because you're accusing me of being Kira based on nothing more than my not wanting to push you like a king!"
"But Light-kun, Kira fancies himself a God. Therefore, he would loathe to treat anyone else like a king, or god, or any position higher than him, because then that would conflict with his ideals."
"Kira's ideals are to create a better world, Ryuuzaki," Light argued. "Therefore whether he would push someone in a cake cart is entirely irrelevant to the situation."
"Why - Yagami-kun! That sounds suspiciously like support for a mass-murderer." L finished munching the cake he'd gathered in his hand. "Does Light-kun harbour pro-Kira tendencies?"
"The wish for a better world is a dream belonging to more than just Kira, Ryuuzaki." Light crossed his arms. "To state anything otherwise would be to accuse most of the world's leading religions of being Kira-supporters."
"Well, as Kira sees himself as a God -"
"Don't even go there, Ryuuzaki."
"I think it's safe to say that regardless of your defense, you are Kira. You seem to know the way he thinks better than you should, so the possibilities increase."
"Do you think I'm the type of person to kill?!" asked Light.
"As a matter of fact, Light-kun, I do. You are precisely the type of person who could kill if needed."
Light turned to him, glowering darkly. "For God's sake man! I am innocent! Surely you can't believe I would kill someone! What Kira's doing is not justice!"
"But Light-kun just said Kira's ideals were to create a better world. Surely that is what justice is all about, yes?" He scooped up another fingerful of icing and licked it clean. "Light-kun is contradicting himself in his defensiveness. It has risen another two percent."
Light suddenly had the terrible, wonderful urge to PUNCH L - hard -, Death Notes, heart attacks and glorious revenge be damned. Pushing the irritating detective out of a nearby window would be just as satisfactory, and hearing the other go 'splat' on the pavement below would be the perfect balm to Light's frazzled nerves.
Watari, now looking near to collapse, kept pushing along the cart.
L took another wipe of cake from his finger and licked it off. "Light, what is that look on your face?" He stared with his onyx eyes. "Could it be that you wish for my demise?"
Light stared back at L and his look of mischievousness vanished. "No. I was just thinking about eating some of your cart. It looks good."
"Oh. Well, you're a bad liar, Kira." He took another bite of his cart.
"I'm not Kira!" protested Light.
"Of course you're not Kira," he said mildly. "Look out for the door."
"What do-" Light half turned as he hit it, knocking himself backwards with a startled yell.
"That door," said L, watching as Light hit the ground, adding a second bump to go with the one forming on his forehead. L watched Light's eyes stare unfocused at the ceiling, stunned before looking at his watch again. "We're late, we're late. For a very important date. Come, Watari." Sighing, Watari pushed the cart again, and the cake cart scurried past Light through the doorway, L's voice echoing back as he disappeared. "No time to say hello, goodbye, I'm late, I'm late, I'm late."
Angela: And that's that. Hang around if you want to see what we cook up next. x3