April Fish

A belated April Fool's Day fic.

- A Peur De FISH 1412 -

Written: Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Typed: Thursday, April 03, 2008

Inspired by random fishies hanging in my French class and on people's backs…

International Crime Number: 1412. Location: France. Operation: April Fish.

The thief tossed the jewel up and caught it again in his hand. The police had him surrounded inside the museum with guns pointing at him from every direction. He tipped his white top hat forward with his gloved hand and underneath the shadow of his hat, he grinned.

A tiny capsule dropped to the ground and exploded into a large cloud of pink smoke. The French police covered their mouths to avoid breathing in the smoke but ended up coughing anyways.

"Don't let him get away!"

"Yes, sir!"

Hands grabbed for him in the midst of the smoke, determined to catch the phantom.

"Where is he?!"

"I still can't see anything!"

In the cover of the smoke, Kid grasped his cloak preparing to slip into another disguise. A hand from within the crowd of police flicked something towards the Phantom Thief. The object pinned itself onto the back of his cape. Kaitou, missing this detail, swiftly pulled his cape around himself and immediately pulled on the guise of a police officer.

The officers scrambled everywhere to find him after the smoke had cleared, revealing Kid to be missing from his previous spot. Mixing into the crowd, Kaitou escaped to the highest floor and eventually found himself on the rooftop. There he shed his disguise and took form as the white-clad international criminal. He took out the translucent jewel and admired it. Not the one he was looking for, but valuable nevertheless. He would have to find someway to return it soon. He sighed and tucked the gem away safely.

Footsteps resonated on the ground behind him. Calm footsteps, sure footsteps. Kaitou tensed and then relaxed. Certain footsteps, and self-confident footsteps. He smirked. No matter who it was, nobody could catch l'insaissable Kid, the elusive Kid.

"What do you want, Hakuba?" he said without turning around.

"Oh, nothing special. Just that jewel that you're holding," Hakuba replied smoothly, still advancing on the thief. "But of course, you already knew that."

"But of course, you already knew that I wouldn't give it back," Kaitou mirrored. "What do you really want? You know that you can't catch me no matter what you try."

"Oi, oi, keep expanding that inflated head of yours and it'll become your fall. And besides, you'll give the gem back as you always do." Hakuba stopped a few yards away from the Phantom Thief. His golden hair ruffled in the wind. He trained his blue eyes on the thief's back. Kaitou's white cloak billowed in the air currents high in the sky, but something else billowed with it. The half-British detective twitched his lip upwards in a slight grin.

"I'm just here to advise that you watch your back in your departure tonight," Hakuba rolled off his tongue. "The wind currents seem to be rather feisty at this time."

"Is that so?" He turned his head to face his rival. With his left hand, he tipped his hat downward. Swiveling around to the detective at that same moment, Kaitou stretched straight his other arm and aimed his card gun at the other. He squeezed the trigger, releasing the nearly two-dimensional missile. His arm bounced up from the recoil.

Hakuba dodged the lethal card and moved towards Kaitou in an attempt to reach him before he escaped into the air. Kaitou shot more cards at his opponent all the while backing towards the rim and launching himself over the edge of the building. He let gravity pull him downwards a few stories before flipping around and activating his hang glider. Instantaneously, the belt wrapped around his waist and secured him to his triangularly stretched cape.

His numerous fans gasped then cheered when they saw the thief fall and then effortlessly transition into flying. Kaitou smirked at their loud cheers, especially when the police rushed outside in a frenzy, failing in their attempt to catch the criminal.

He decided that a couple rounds in the air wouldn't hurt too much. Following the air currents of the starry night, he swerved back around towards the center of the mass, performing twists and turns and creating loops. If nothing else, it felt exhilarating just to fly, feeling the cool air pass across his partially concealed face. Now all he had to do was avoid accidentally swallowing any bugs.

The crowd cheered him on while the policed officers desperately fought their way through the mass of people. The helicopters closed in as well, but Kaitou avoided them with agile ease.

"Hey! Look what's on his back!" a spectator excitedly cried out.

"Where? Where? I don't see anything."

"Over there, right in the middle of the hang glider! Hahahaha!"

"Hahahaha! I see it!"

The cheering slowly turned into laughter as people began to realize what Kid was carrying on his back.

Kaitou frowned. What were they laughing about? Was it him? Did he do something wrong? No! Kaitou Kid never does anything less than perfectly. He pondered. Hakuba did tell him to watch his back… What was that supposed to mean?!

He glanced back, but his view was blocked by his stretched-out cape. His eyebrow twitched behind the rim of his silver monocle. He glanced around for something to use as a mirror. Most of the buildings he glided by were tall, dark business buildings. Their windows glared a shiny black.

That's it! The windows!

He maneuvered himself in between two buildings with dark reflective glass and tried to make out his lighter image. Turning his body so that he lay on his side in the air, Kaitou looked into his reflection. Using the double reflection from the two "mirrors," he searched for the source of laughter. He spotted something on his glider. He narrowed his eyes and peered at the image more closely, trying to make out what it was before he ran out of reflective glass. Not a moment after he recognized the object, Kid's eyes widened into gigantic saucers.

From the edge of the roof, Hakuba smirked as he looked down at Kaitou.

"Did you forget, Kaitou Kid? Aujourd'hui, c'est Poisson d'Avril."

Kaitou freaked out. Immediately, he tried to turn around and knock the fish off of his cape but he lost balance and altitude. Eyes popping with the image of the fish burned into his eyes, Kaitou futilely tried to slap the fish away from him. For a second, he looked to the front and met with the image of a much-too-rapidly approaching building. He frantically swerved to the side, almost getting smashed into the glass.

"Fish! Fish! Ahhh! Go away! Nice fishy…"

He again tried to slap it away. He roughly tried to grab the fish, but it made his glider collapse back into a cape. He finally grasped the fist and held it before him in triumph.

"Ha! I got you, Mr. Fish!" Kaitou grinned. His expression fell as soon as he realized what it actually was. "What, it's just a paper fish!" His eyes slipped into that bored expression and his eyebrow twitched.

Then, after remaining still in the air for a split second, Kaitou began falling downwards toward the ground.


Kaitou blinked.


HE released the paper fish and hysterically waved his arms around (don't tell me he thought he could fly like that…), unable to preclude his inevitable descent. He crash-landed into some bushes that just happened to be there. He twitched.

"Chikusho… I hate you, Hakuba…"

"I know you do," stated the detective, apparently telepathic.

International Crime Number: 1412. Location: France. Operation: April Fish.

Mission Complete.



In France, April 1st is known as Poisson d'Avril, or April Fish. And of course, Fish is Kaito's greatest fear. I guess in France people like to stick (paper) fish on other people and then laugh behind their backs when the victim doesn't know about it... well, it is rather amusing. :

In French, Kaitou Kid is called L'insaissable Kid, which means the elusive Kid.

Hakuba says, "Aujourd'hui, c'est Poisson d'Avril," which translates to "Today, it's April Fish."

Chikusho is a way to say 'damn' (or whatever else you want to translate it as… I prefer not) in Japanese.

Hmm... this won't space out correctly... so the easiest thing to do was use linebreaks -shrugs-

Hopefully you all enjoyed this! Sorry it was kind of late, but I didn't get the idea until I mentioned April Fish to my little brother the day after the first. R&R please! Arigatou-gozaimasu!