Notes: Okay, I'd just like to say that I'm glad that you guys like this story so much, and that I really didn't expect this many of my fellow Roxamine lovers to review! Anyway, thanks again!
I'm not quite sure if this chapter will be quite as funny as the others, but I did my best!
Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts or the…song that gets sung during a hilarious (in my opinion) event…
"So, you say that you and Demyx went to the zoo because you were bored?" Xemnas asked from his position on the highest throne in the meeting room in The Castle That Never Was.
Axel nodded in reply from his own throne. "Yeah, and then I jokingly suggested that he climb in with the crocodile to prove his manliness and then…."
"That's the biggest load of bullshit I've ever heard!" Marluxia hollered. Everyone in organization thirteen, with the exception of Demyx who was undergoing extensive surgery and therapy, had been summoned for this meeting. "You're obviously lying!"
"Hey, I don't have to take any lip from a freaking girl!" Axel shot back hotly. His insult was met with sniggers from everyone in the room except Xemnas, though the corners of his mouth twitched. It was a hobby of Axels, coming up with insults for everyone in the organization. He even had a few for mansex, er Xemnas, based on the fact that he and Saix regularly watched soap operas…together…alone…in Xemnas's room. What kind of sick satanic rituals went on in there where usually subject to Axel's perverse mind when he wasn't looking at the "magazines" that he kept underneath his bed….
Hey, nobodies have hormones too, you know!
"For the last time, asshole, it takes a real man to wear pink!" Marluxia was positively fuming. His hair was just about the only thing that could get him to show any kind of emotion…not that he had emotions…
Still, his hair was a subject of debate among the nobodies. They didn't know whether it was dyed that way, or if Marluxia got stuck with the curse of pink hair out of an unfortunate DNA anomaly. Axel, preferred to think that The Graceful Assassin (more like the graceful faggot in Axel's opinion) had it dyed…it was much easier to tease him that way!
"Enough," Xemnas snapped with a wave of his hand, instantly silencing everyone. "I have reached my decision…I hereby order all of you…to have fun…"
"WHAT?!" came the entire organization's reply. This was easily the most unorthodox order that Xemnas had ever given.
"I cannot have any of you crippling yourselves by blindly searching for something to entertain yourselves, therefore I order all of you to "take a break" as they say…and it can't be an activity that would be considered work or boring by normal peoples' standards…"
Both Zexion and Vexen snapped their fingers in frustration. Even they had enough social grace to know that reading a dictionary all day and blowing up test tubes weren't exactly the kinds of things that most people did for fun…
"That is all, you are dismissed…"
"Alright Axel, you got us into this mess and you're going to get us out of it!" Xigbar stated with a scowl as he pointed one of his guns in Axel's face. Everyone, except Saix and Roxas, had cornered Axel outside the meeting room. The Lunar Diver had run off, presumably to watch a soap opera or something, and Roxas already had an idea for a way to spend his free time.
"Yes, I agree…" Zexion chimed in as he glared furiously at Axel, who gulped.
"Actually, I have an idea…" Larxene purred, almost seductively.
"It has to involve all of us…you bitch…" Xaldin said, muttering the last bit in a low tone so that The Savage Nymph wouldn't hear it. With her, you couldn't tell if she was flirting or is she just wanted to stick a kunai up your ass…either way, since she was talking to Axel, The Whirlwind Lancer had a pretty good idea of what she had in mind…
Larxene rolled her eyes while Axel suddenly smirked when he came up with a brilliant idea…
While his attempt to get even with Roxas and Namine had failed miserably, he had a way to have enough fun to keep him satisfied until he could come up with a fool-proof method of getting his vengeance. "I have an idea!" he exclaimed, just to make sure he had everyone's undivided attention. "But Roxas can't come…he'll have to find something else to do.
"And why can't your best friend come?" Luxord asked suspiciously in his British accent. It was something Axel always envied, it's common knowledge that chicks dig British accents! (A/N: I wouldn't actually know this, and if you're a girl, don't take offense, I don't know anything about that kind of stuff!) "You're not planning a trick of some kind, are you?"
"YEAH!" Everyone, with the exception of Roxas, chipped in. They were smart enough to know that not even Demyx would be stupid enough to get his…part, eaten by a crocodile!
"He can't come because he's not old enough to drink…" Axel replied with a smirk. "That's right; I'm talking about a total piss up! Complete with wall to wall vomiting, bar fights, and Irish songs, nothing quite like 'em!"
Understanding suddenly dawned upon the rest of the organization as Roxas quietly slipped away. It would just give him a chance to hang out with Namine!
"…You can't be serious!" Vexen said after a rather awkward pause.
"I am!" Axel said proudly, he still wore his trademark smirk. "Come on, it'll be fun! No one's going to force you to get drunk, and it'll give you a chance to study the behavior of normal people, or whatever it is you can study during a drinking party!" Vexen suddenly paused in thought, and then nodded. Booyah! with him in the bag, the others would no doubt follow…
"All right, we're in!" Luxord finally said after a massive huddle.
"Yeah, but if you try anything funny…" Xaldin added as he pointed one of his many spears at Axel's neck. The redhead chuckled nervously as he gently moved the spear away from his neck.
If his plan was going to work, he'd just have to spike everyone's drinks…and risk getting drunk himself…still; it would all be worth it, especially if he could get them to sing his favorite song…
(five beers later…)
"Okay guys, anyone wanna' sing a song of mine?" Axel cried out in a slurred voice. He had been successful in spiking every one of the beers, but had lost track of his mug, which was the only one that wasn't spiked. In short, he was now just as drunk as everyone else in the room, which was conveniently shaped just like a bar!
A drunken chorus of "Yeah's, Huh's, and I think I wet myself's!" was the reply Axel received.
"Okay…it goes like this…"
(Five minutes worth of trying to teach a group of drunken nobodies how to sing in a chorus, while trying to stop Luxord from attempting to persuade people to play strip poker with him, later…)
"Okay, one two three…"
"Oh, what is the malted liquor, what gets you drunker quiker, what comes in bottled or in cans?" Axel sang out in an incredibly quick voice, which was surprising considering how drunk he was about now…
"BEER!" the rest of the organization sang out in concert, just like Axel had trained them to do. Lexaeus's voice was…interesting to hear…if everyone wasn't drunk they would have realized just why he never spoke. His voice was squeakier than Mickey's!
"Can't get enough of it!"
"How I really love it!"
"Oh, I can't get enough of it!"
"Makes me think I'm a man!" Larxene suddenly sang before Axel could actually open his mouth. Being drunk, he just took it in stride, unable to even think about what The Savage Nymph had just sung…
"I could kiss and hug it!"
"But I'd rather chug it!"
"Fills my belly up to here!"
"I could not refuse it!"
"I could really use it!"
"BEER, BEER, BEEEEER!" Everyone except Axel sang as soon as he had finished that stanza.
"Beer, beer, beer, beer, beer, beer, beer, beer!" the entire organization chanted together. It was hard to believe that they were really a bunch of heartless beings trying to rule the world when they were singing and dancing like they were now. Even Zexion and Vexen were unable to resist it!
"I can't remember how much I have had!" Zexion sang while everyone else continued dancing drunkenly and hitting various object in the room in order to make music. "I drank a twelve pack, with my dad!" A burp of epic proportions escaped the cloaked schemer's lips as soon as he finished his line.
"Thaaat's my son, the drunken manly stud!" Xigbar snag as he wrapped his arm around Zexion in a fatherly gesture. "I'm proud to be his bud!" a "hick" escaped his lips, showing the true extent of his drunkenness.
"Here have some pretzels!" Zexion offered, still singing, as he held up a bag of the salty snacks. Where he had gotten them, nobody knew…
"No, I'll call it quits…those things give me the shlits!" everyone burst out into laughter at Xigbar's clearly drunken response. He couldn't even swear properly anymore!
"Drink it with your family; drink it with your friends! Drink 'till you're fat, you're stomach understands!"
"Beeeer is liquid bread, it's good for you! We like to drink 'till we spew…EW!" everyone cried out as Marluxia began to puke onto the floor. He just couldn't hold his liquor… "Who cares if we get fat?"
"I'll drink to that!" Luxord put in just before the song could continue as his took a sip form his mug.
"As we sing once more…" the organization began to sing the song all over again, unaware of the fact that Xemnas was standing at the door with a genuinely shocked and horified expression…
"Now can I see it?" Roxas begged, putting on puppy eyes in the process.
"Hmmmmm, no!" Namine giggled in reply after she pretended to seriously think about Roxas's question.
"Aw, you're no fun!"
"I'll let you see it in a minute…I'm not done yet!" Namine tuck her tongue out in concentration as she focused on her latest drawing. Roxas sighed and sat down on the bed in the room as he watched Namine draw. He always had had a bit of a crush on her, sometimes thinking about how cure she was before he snapped out of it, or when he looked over her shoulder to see her latest work of art only to blush whenever she turned her head, bringing it perilously close to his, in order to see who was standing behind her.
The zoo trip, obviously, hade changed their relationship quite a bit…and in Roxas's opinion, for the better. No one really cared about what they did as long as Roxas could do whatever mission Xemnas assigned to him and even those were rare as there were very rarely any heartless groups large enough to collect hearts from. Sending Roxas out after five heartless at a time just wasn't practical. Roxas sighed quietly in contentment; he really couldn't imagine his life any better.
Sure he didn't have a heart, but when he was around Namine, well, that seemed to change…it was enough for him…
"Well, if you won't allow me to see the picture…" Roxas said slyly as he walked up behind Namine, who shifted away from him in order to block his view of her drawing. "…then I'll just have to…TAKE IT!" Namine shrieked as Roxas made a grab for her sketch pad. She was just able to swat his hands away and quickly got out of her chair.
"Roxas!" she barked in an attempt to rebuke him, though a playful smile was creeping onto her face as a result of The Key of Destiny's playfulness. His smile was just as radiant as hers as he chased her in circles around the room. Namine let out playful shrieks of joy as Roxas nearly caught her several times.
They both resembled children at play, Namine tended to bring out Roxas's sweet and innocent side…he wasn't always dark and melancholy!
Roxas suddenly smirked as he slowed down just a bit and opened a dark door right in front of Namine. She yelped in surprise as she fell through it…and immediately exited out of another on that Roxas had opened, practically falling into his waiting arms. "I have you now!" he declared triumphantly as he wrapped his arms around her in a hug.
Namine felt the blood rush to her head, she was sure that her face and ears were a shade of pink about now.
"…Or should I say, I have your sketch pad now…?" Roxas added slyly as he suddenly leapt away from her, leaving her shocked and red-faced for a few, precious seconds.
"Y-you manipulated me?" Namine asked, with mock pain in her voice.
Catching on to her game, Roxas grinned and replied accordingly. "Yes, and now look what I have!" he waved Namine's sketch pad tauntingly in front of her face. Her only saving grace was that he had yet to actually see what she had been drawing…
"You heartless monster!" Namine was barely able to stop herself from laughing as she said this. To her, the idea of Roxas being that was as remote and unheard of as Axel not burning anything eh could get his hands on! "How could you just use me like that?!"
"Weeeell, I tend to mix business and pleasure, so I wasn't entirely using you…" Roxas replied as he shrugged with a smile. "…I really did enjoy that hug…" Namine looked down in a futile attempt to hide her blush. While their first kiss at the zoo had made them more open about their feelings toward each other, she still had trouble not blushing whenever Roxas flirted with her like this…
"Now, I get to claim my prize!" Roxas declared as he dramatically spun around and slowly began to slowly turn the sketchpad over in order to see just what Namine had been working on…
"Roxas!" Namine yelled as she tackled him from behind, knocking Sora's nobody onto the floor. "Give it back!" she demanded as she punched him in the back of the head, Roxas ahd landed on his stomach and she was more or less sitting on his back.
"Never!" Roxas shot back playfully as he tried to throw her off. Surprisingly, Namine was able to maintain her position and continued to punch him in the back of his head, all the while preventing him from seeing her drawing. "All, right all right, I surrender!" Roxas soon yelled after about two minutes worth of getting his head used as a punching bag.
She could hit surprisingly hard despite her appearance!
"Alright, hand it over!" Namine demanded with a playful grin as she extended her hand towards Roxas.
"Ah, ah, ah, not just yet!" The Key of Destiny replied with an equally playful grin as he hid the sketchpad behind his back.
"Wait, you said that you surrendered!"
"Yeah, that means that you won, but now we have to dictate the terms that seal the deal!"
Namine crossed her arms as she tried (and failed) to look as stern and implacable as she could. "Oh, and just what do you have in mind….?"
After making a mental note to himself that Namine looked cute when she was trying to appear angry (not that big a deal as Roxas thought she looked cute when she was in any mood), Roxas opened his mouth to speak his simple reply. "…Kiss me."
"You heard me, if you want this sketchpad back, you'll have to kiss me for it!" Despite his cheerful tone, Roxas was inwardly hurt and worried. Namine's response implied the idea of kissing him was revolting!
"Ugh, the things I have to do to get some peace around here!" Namine groaned in mock exasperation as she walked forward. Roxas's eyes widened as Namine planted her lips against his and wrapped her arms around him in an embrace. He didn't think that she would actually do it!
Not to be outdone, Roxas wrapped his arms around her waist as he began to return, and sink into the kiss. If not for the fact that the kiss at the zoo was their first, this one would have easily surpassed it in the pair's memories. About thirty seconds they stood their, completely absorbed in each other's presence, before they finally broke apart.
Roxas stood there, dumbstruck, as Namine looked down for a brief second and then looked back up at him expectantly.
"O-oh, uh, r-right!" Roxas stuttered as he shook himself from his daze. It was his turn to be nervous now. He looked down as his face began to turn a shade of pink. He was embarrassed not only form the kiss, but also from fact that he couldn't seem to find the sketchpad!
He must have dropped it during the kiss…he had certainly been…occupied with a certain someone that he considered far more important…
Namine suddenly giggled at his search and then cough in order to get his attention. He looked up to see her waving her sketchpad in front of his face in a taunting manner much like the one he had used on her a little while ago. "Looking for this?" she asked slyly.
"What- how did you?!" suddenly it hit Roxas. She had put her hands around and behind him while his own her still behind his back. The sneaky blonde had taken it right from underneath his nose! "Y-you used me!" he cried out in mock horror and indignation, parodying Namine's earlier act.
She giggled in reply as she walked back over to her desk and chair. "…Well, not completely…I like to mix business and pleasure…"
Namine's sense of humor was just one of her more endearing traits…it was just one of many reasons that Roxas loved her more than anything else…
Okay, I'm not sure how I did on this one, but I found the idea of Organization 13 singing the beer song too hilarious to resist! Anyway, did I overdo the fluff or anything? I mean, I know that I may have screwed around with Roxas and Namine's personalities, but I always thought that Sora and Kairi had a mischievous side to them, so why not their nobodies?
Not to mention that being around each other tends to bring out the more lighthearted aspects of their personalities! R&R, please!