48A year after the war, Faramir dies of a strange illness. Eowyn is distraught, but Queen Arwen suggests a visit to the elf colony in Ithilien to find herself again. But does Eowyn find more than she bargained for? (Legolas/Eowyn)
Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings, nor do I claim any characters or profits from them!
'To Love Again'
Chapter 4: 'Understanding'
They stood before the stone walls together. It had been a month since she had even dare come here. And now, here she stood…outside the open doors of the tomb of her beloved. Reaching out a hand to one of the stone doors she let her hand graze the cool stone beneath. And for a moment she stood there in silence before taking a step back, wishing nothing more than to retreat. But he stopped her moving behind her to stop here. "I can't…" she whispered, her hands wrapping themselves around her. She suddenly felt cold and small; her body shivering slightly.
"You can…And you must," he said moving from behind her and to the stone walls, bowing before them lowly. He whispered something in elfish and bowed again, backing away from the doors and back to her side. "It's time to say good-bye Arwen en amin," he said holding his hand up to her.
Her gray blue eyes found his hand, and she let out a long unsteady breath before taking it. They quietly moved through the doors and into a large open tomb where many kings, stewards and highly ranked personal slept. They moved past many making their way down a long and wide hallway. She didn't want to be here… She didn't want to do this… But deep down inside, Eowyn knew if she didn't say goodbye now, she would never.
They came to a halt before a large bronze tomb, lit dimly by a few torches. But Eowyn needed no light to know where she stood. She didn't need light to read what it said on the tomb.
Releasing his hand, she quickly moved forward to the tomb, laying both hands on it. "Faramir…" Eowyn whispered laying her head on against the cool metal. She hadn't been this close to him since that night…
She awoke to loud rounds of coughing and she moved from her chair and to his side quickly. "Faramir?" she asked wiping away the sweaty hair from his forehead and placing a damp cloth there. "Faramir, are you alright? Are you in pain? Faramir?"
His coughing subsided and he turned to her slowly, his face pale, his lips almost colorless, his eyes sunken in. "Fear not my Lady," he said softly moving a pale hand to her cheek, stoking it softly. "I go soon where I shall feel no more pain or suffering."
Her hand caught his and held it close to her face. "Do not say such thing beloved…you are going to get better, I know," she said tears forming in her eyes and quickly cascading down her pale cheeks. "You will be ok…"
"No…" he sighed, his voice becoming light and airy. "There is no more time for me. I shall soon pass on into the next world…"
"No!" she cried laying her head on his chest. "If you die, believe me when I say I shall die as well, for I can not live without you. I could not bare the parting, I will not."
"Eowyn…Listen to me, you must. It is my time now… But you, you have so much left to live for. Do not let me be your undoing. You must find happiness with another, you must live on," Faramir said running his fingers through her long golden hair. "You must promise me this." His strength was leaving him and he could feel himself slipping. "Eowyn…you were the best thing Ilúvatar gave to me. For he knew I needed you… I just wish I was able to have more time with you…" He felt his body convulse slightly and again he broke into a rough cough, this time, blood spilling from his mouth.
"Faramir?!" Eowyn asked watching cough up the blood, gasping for breath. "I will go get the healer!" she cried standing, but his hand caught and held hers firmly. "Faramir please..! You are going to die! Let me go to him! Let me help you before it's too late! I beg you!"
"No-no…" He winced, chocking back another cough, his breathing now rough and labored. "There is nothing more he can do for me…"
She pulled at his hand, trying to coax him to let go, but it seemed futile. Falling to her knees she moved back to him, begin to sob. "He could try," she cried moving back to his side closely. "Please don't ask me to let you die…Don't go where I can not follow…I love you…"
"If you love me Eowyn, you will let me go," he said quietly. "If you love me, you will release me from my torment and promise me you will do as I asked…" Burying her head in his chest she wept openly tears dampening his shirt; for she knew there was nothing more she could do for him, yet she nodded, promising him, and giving her word.
"Eowyn…Eowyn…I-I….Love you…"
The hand holding hers captive went limp, releasing her from his hold. Lifting her head slightly she watched his eyes close, a small smile on his lips as his last breath left him.
"No….no….Faramir….wake up… please do not leave me…Faramir…"
Tears found their way from her eyes as she wept, remembering his last moments with her. He had wished for her to be happy, yet she had done the opposite. His last words to her were not of how he wished he could have lived, but of wishing her to go on living and to continue her life. She had not honored them and she felt ashamed… He had thought of nothing but her up till the very end and all she had thought about was herself, and all the pain she would have to endure.
"Faramir…" she whispered lovingly caressing the bronze image of the captain. "I'm sorry…I'm so sorry I gave up when I should have gone on. I'm sorry I fell, instead of walking down the path you wished for me. I wish you were here so I could tell you…I love you…I love you and I'm so very sorry..." Hands tightening into fists she let them fall to her sides. "I wish you could hear me…"
A warm hand grabbed hers entwining their fingers together. Startled, Eowyn turned to see Legolas smiling at her softly and knowingly. "He does, shield-maiden of Rohan; and he knows."
A small smile formed on her lips as she turned back to the tomb. "All this time it took me so long to say what was in my heart; so long to actually act on what I was feeling… Now that I know what I must do, I'm afraid to say good-bye forever…"
"It will never be good-bye," he said softly. "Not as long as you keep on living life as he wished for you to. He would not wish to see you, a caged bird."
Taking in a deep breath, she felt her heart free itself. "Till again next we meet, I will continue on living as promised. I will continue on, until the day comes we may find one another again….Until then beloved….Be at peace…and farewell…"
They rode in silence together through the night back to the elf colony in Ithilien. Neither one seemed to know what to say or better yet how to say it. He was glad she had come to terms with Captain Faramir's passing. That now, she would slowly become the strong, honorable woman she had been once before. Perhaps her stay in Ithilien might not last as long as he expected.
She was glad a heavy burden had been lifted off her heart, yet she was unable to find the words to express to Legolas himself for all his help. He had brought her to her knees, yet he had been the one to offer her a hand and bring her back upon solid ground. But how did you thank someone when they had been the cause of your anger and sudden melt-down? It was difficult…
They had gone some ways when a light melody suddenly filled the air. Glancing about her Eowyn caught sight of lanterns moving within the forest. Coming to slow stop she watched as a procession of elves moved through the woods singing a tune she had never witnessed before. It was not at all earthly, but something from another world.
"Elen sila lumenn omentilmo…. A! Ed' I'ear ar' elenea! Tenna' tul're… Amin khiluva lle a' gurtha ar' thar…."
She opened her mouth to say something but stopped as she heard him begin to sing along his voice just as angelic as the others if not more. "Nae saian luume' mela en' coiamin… Amin naa lle nai… Amin naa tualle, Amin mela lle… Amin anta lle…" He rode up past her, seemingly glowing. His electric blue eyes transfixed upon the party before him. She followed silently, not wishing to break the spell that held them or him. The song continued, filling the air and the surrounding area. She felt almost awkward being there so close, yet feeling so far from them. She wasn't an elf, but human. By all rights she didn't even deserve to be here, but she was… Suddenly however, he was next to her again, gazing upon her like he had never seen her before. "Come…," he said grasping the reigns of her horse and moving down into the procession a wild look blazing within his eyes.
"My Lord, I don't think…" she started, but was cut off by him as he brought a finger to his lips.
"Shh… watch and wait," he whispered, as they followed the procession slowly. "They shall light the way back home."
"Home?" she asked, not once thinking of referring the elf colony as home. But Eowyn watched silently, unsure of what the elf prince had meant until she saw it. Lights in the forest began to appear all around them. Small spheres of lights danced through the air as the procession entered a long narrow passage through a thicket. Instantly a stoned archway appeared, elfish engraved markings glowing into the night. "A door…" she whispered in awe as they moved through the archway and she found herself looking upon the familiar sight of the elf colony. She hadn't been conscious when they had brought her in, and when they had left, he had taken her through many different areas of brush and trees concealing the entrance way. Glancing back at the way they came, she gasped as she stared bewildered at a crumbling stone wall, moss and vines hanging carelessly. But through this wall the procession continued, as if walking through an invisible veil.
She had never seen anything so magical, yet she quickly remembered of whose company she was in. These were the elves… And for them, anything seemed possible. Moving farther into Ithilien, she laughed lightly watching as many elflings who had heard the oncoming procession came quickly, breaking into dance, laughing merrily. Others merely remained quiet, enjoying the sweet tune that now filled the colony.
Yet she couldn't help the graceless feeling that seemed to fill her. Glancing about her, she watched as many elves stared soundlessly at her, their gazes calculating and almost elitist towards her. The feeling of being a burden fell upon her, quickly remembering that it had been King Aragorn's request that she come here. But, wasn't it much to ask? She wasn't a friend to the elf kind like he was and she had no real connections with them. Under their ever watchful gaze, Eowyn merely felt small and timid; nothing more. Pulling off to the side of the Procession Eowyn dismounted Ariku, removing quickly the blanket off his back. Ariku turned his head to the woman alongside him almost confused. Moving fully around to face her, he nudged her shoulder bidding her to come.
"I can go no farther," she sighed watching as the party moved on through the colony leaving her alone. "Go on home Ariku," Eowyn said pushing his head away gently. Ariku however had other ideas as he bit her sleeve was his mouth pulling her along with him. "Ariku, release me now," she commanded pulling on his mane, yet not roughly enough to hurt him. Releasing her sleeve for a moment she examined her slobbery sleeve. "Ariku, you stinker of a horse," she mumbled earning a loud neigh from the horse nodding its head. Eowyn smirked slightly, feeling as though he was merely laughing at her. "Ha ha, laugh all you want you silly thing… Had I of wished to, I could have disciplined you something fierce… Look what you did to my sleeve you elfish horse." She held up her incredibly wet and slightly chewed sleeve. Ariku moved closer lowering his head and nuzzling her hand. "No, no you don't. I won't forgive you…" It moved to her head nibbling her hair with its lips. "Ariku…you are hopeless…"
She heard a small chuckle from behind her and spun around finding him leaning against a tree his arms crossed comfortably over his chest. "I was wondering where you got to shield-maiden," he said watching her curiously.
Ariku moved behind her pushing her towards Legolas with his nose. "We had a little trouble along the way," she said giving up the struggle and moving where the horse wished. "Stubborn…"
He laughed again and stood straight, making his way over to the stallion which greeted his master in turn. As before he whispered something to the horse only causing the beast to bay and whinny in response. "On the contrary my lady, Ariku believes you are the stubborn one." Ariku nodded at the comment and both elf and horse stared at her together.
For a moment they stood there in silence before Eowyn could no longer contain herself and felt laughter take hold of her. She could tell it had caught him off guard for his eyes widened slightly.
He watched her as her laughter caused her cheeks to grow red and flush against her pale complexion. Her smile was large and white, her blue gray eyes sparkling. He had never seen her in such a manner, and in some small way it made him happy. Had she acted this way more often she would definitely attract the attention that she so desperately craved from others. Her laughter finally subsided and she smiled at him, a smile he could not place at all. "Thank you…"
"For..?" Legolas asked cocking his head to the right.
"For everything…" she said walking towards him and standing before the Prince. Bowing lowly before him she raised her head to him. "For showing me there is still some worth in this world; and for helping me move on."
He studied her for a moment then gestured for her to stand. "You did that yourself Lady," he said. "I only showed you the door, only you could walk through it."
They walked together though the gardens and courtyards quietly, once in a while commenting on one thing or another. Eowyn, who was not used to holding her own tongue found the quietness surprisingly pleasant. They moved out of one garden and into the next a large sculpture of an elf carrying a mortal man in his arms. They came to a halt at the statue and Eowyn found it incredibly lifelike. Had it merely the breath of life, she was sure it could take of running.
"Tell me," she said suddenly breaking the spell between them… "Do elves ever wonder what it would be like to be mortal? Do you, ever wonder what it would be like to be mortal?"
He hadn't expected her question, least of all this one. It had only ever been asked once that he had known of, and it had been by him to his father; when he had still yet been an elflings. So what had inspired such a question to leave her mouth? Pulling from his thoughts he realized she was still waiting for his answer… "Once," he said plainly eyeing the large sculpture before him. "But that was a very long time ago, when I was still but a small child; but why? Why do you inquire?"
"I've been curious for a long time," Eowyn admitted honestly. "I've been wondering since I first heard the tale of Lady Arwen and Lord Aragorn from Far…Faramir…" Her voice lowered on his name, but just as quickly was back to normal. "So… what inspired the question?" she asked taking a seat on a small bench, giving him her undivided attention.
He turned to her and walked towards her, taking a seat opposite from her. "As I said, I was a small child…" He glanced down to the ground and began to speak. "I had just received a gift from my Father, a green and golden canary for my sixth birthday. I was thrilled, and loved his company. I could take him out of his cage and though he would fly here and there, he never strayed far from me. I had him up till my eleventh birthday when I finally noticed how old he looked. His feathers were not the same green and gold they had once been, and he refused to fly anymore. But I thought nothing of it thinking he would go on living like I would… But the next day I found him dead on the bottom of his cage."
"I'm sorry," Eowyn whispered feeling guilty she had brought up such a sore topic.
Legolas shook his head. "No, don't be. At first I didn't understand, I thought he might be sleeping. So I fed him and gave him clean water and left. When I returned an hour later he was still lying in the same spot as before. Scared, I removed him from his cage and took him to my father." Legolas's face twitched slightly as he continued. "Father took the bird from me and wrapped it up, placing it in a finely carved box and then buried it in the garden. Of any time I can remember, I believed that is when I first shed tears of sorrow and pain. I asked Father why he couldn't live forever like we could and he told me that only elves had been selected by the Gods to live without dying; that smaller lesser beings had no such gift as we. We had been selected and granted this gift as a way of helping those around us; as a way to help a new race that came soon after us, mankind. And though they would pass on into the next world, we would always be here to help and offer council to them."
He seemed to be thinking hard on the subject, his eyes moving up to the sky, the stars twinkling back at him. "At first I didn't wish to hear it, and told him that if living forever meant living without those precious to you, I didn't want it. That maybe living as a mortal wouldn't be as bad as it sounded. At least I could live with those who meant a great deal to me." He raised a hand in the air as though examining it, then crushing it into a fist. "But, I had only been a child and still had much more to learn. As I got older, I realized just how childish my thoughts had been, that what my father had told me was actually the truth. So I now hold true to those beliefs, and I haven't thought once about it since then."
Eowyn stood abruptly, her eyes hooded by her golden locks. "How do you do it?"
"Lady Eowyn?" he asked standing as well, and moving to her side tilting his head to try and see her face.
"In all my life never once have I felt so much passion or fervor from one person," she said raising her eyes to gaze upon the stars. "You have more compassion and conviction in a single memory then I do in my entire being. Do you not grow tired of it?" She glanced back to him in question, her hair blowing gently in the wind.
He smiled kindly, his electric blue eyes focused completely on her, and she felt her face grow red under his gaze. "No," he said, "Not at all." She smiled back at him, and he offered her a hand which she took, as he escorted her out of the garden and into his house. "Come."
He was standing at the sea shore, the salty wind blowing through his hair. The sun was nearly setting, lighting up the sea giving it a lovely orange glow. Wave after wave rolled onto shore wetting his feet and he smiled moving in farther till he was waist deep. Glancing back to the shore it seemed so far away now… So very far away…The water was cool on his skin and oddly comforting. He couldn't remember a time when he had been so relaxed.
A noise from the west captured his attention and he turned to see a long boat with white sails coming closer, a horn sounding as it approached. Before too long it was in arms length. Curious, he reached for the boat touching its wooded exterior. He brushed away some dried salt from the side and using his other arm grasped a rope that had suddenly appeared. Eleven rope. Hastily his other hand moved to the rope, slowly pulling himself from the water as he attempted to scale the boat.
"You promised…"
It was faint but he had heard it. Swinging his head around to peer at the shore he saw a woman standing at the waters edge. Yet, however he tried he could not make out her face, or the color of her hair.
"You promised…" she said again and this time took a step into the water but stopping as a large wave suddenly appeared knocking her over and sweeping her back onto the shore. Soaked head to toe she called out to him, begging him to return to her. He felt the boat begin to move out to sea towards the west and he loosened his hold on the rope.
"Come, Legolas," someone said and his gaze fell away from the maiden and to the deck where a few elves stood extending their hands to him warmly. "Come home…"
"Home?" he asked looking puzzled, however also captivated by their unearthly glows and handsome pale complexions. "Where is home?" he asked breaking from their trance and staring back to the woman on the beach who was now on her knees calling out to him in anguish. And though he did not know her, he felt for some reason, guilty for pulling away. His heart seemed to ache as though he had been pierced by a terrible weapon. He could hear her sobs, hear her pleas, and he couldn't help but feel as though he should stay with her, to be by her side. It was an odd feeling; a strange feeling. One he could not place, yet seeing her, his heart began to urge him on.
"You promised…"
"Legolas," the elves called again and he turned to them one last time smiling lightly, before releasing the elfin rope and falling into the sea.
He swam as hard as he could, yet suddenly the gentle waves had become large and dark taking him under and tossing him every which way. He gasped for air and continued to swim towards shore where she rose to her feet, calling his name which spurred him on ever more to get to her.
"Legolas…" she called out moving into the water to get to him.
He was only a few yards from her now. Only a little more… He heard her scream and glanced back behind him as a large wave, larger than he had ever seen coming quickly to swallow him. Eyes widening in horror he turned back to see her wading in farther and farther into the sea to get to him. "No! Go back!" he screamed trying to get to her. Yet it was too late as the wave engulfed him and then her; her screaming ringing in his ears as she was swallowed by the wave. Then... all went black.
"My Lord..? My Lord, are you alright?"
He heard voices yet he was unsure as to where they were coming from. Opening his eyes he was instantly blinded by a large bright light. Raising a hand before his eyes he watched as a female elf hovered directly above him, a worried look written upon her face.
"My Lord..?"
"Veelena..?" he asked blinking a few times allowing his vision to clear.
"Thank the Valar," she said bowing to him lowly. "I was worried about you sir; I've never heard you call out in your sleep before."
"My sleep...? A dream?" he asked sitting up and running a hand through his hair. "It wasn't real…"
"My Lord?" she asked trying to make sense of his mumbles.
"It is nothing Veelena," Legolas said waving it off. "What is the time?"
"Not yet mid-day sir," she said handing her master a pale blue silk tunic. "I saved your breakfast for you. Would you like me to draw you a bath?"
"Yes, please do, thank you Veelena" Legolas said thanking her as she moved out of the room and into his private bath. Standing from his bed, he moved to the window gazing out into his lands, the sun almost fully in the sky. His eyes were then suddenly drawn to a young golden hair woman, alone in gardens, tending to a bed of flowers. "A dream…"
Yahoo! Chapter 4 up and ready for reading! Hope you enjoy! Thanks for the reviews!