this is a little something that popped into my head after I got hit in the face with a volleyball in gym. not hard, and it was one of those giganto, air filled beginner volleyballs, but my nose hurt a bit for a minute.

unfortunatly, harry potter and his friends aren't mine. if they were, voldemort would be seen eating pink icecream with rainbow sprinkles more often.

Voldemort: on Noses

Normal human noses are completely overrated. What is the point of having a weird, triangular piece of flesh in the middle of your face, when having a flat nose has so many benefits? A flat nose does everything a regular one does, and more. Face it people (no pun intended), a flat nose is better than a regular one.

Okay, maybe having a nose makes it easier to hold your glasses up. But I have five words that are a perfect solution. Contact lenses or laser surgery.

When the Boy Who Somehow Avoids Death In Every Worst Case Scenerio slams face first into a wall because he hasn't put on his glasses, he breaks his nose because it sticks out. There is blood from his nose staining the carpet and poor little Harry Potter is in pain!

My nose is flat, and therefore when I, the Greatest Dark Wizard Of All Time, am not paying attention to where I'm going because of the delectable cone of Princess Pink Bubblegum icecream with rainbow sprinkles( the reason I kidnapped the icecream maker from diagon alley, he was the only one who sold this flavor.) and I slam face first into a wall, I am not injured. I might want to clean this icecream off the wall and my face before one of the Death Eaters sees, but there is no blood, no pain.

This just goes to show that even though I have been killed that Boy Who Just Can't Seem To Die When He Should, I am still better than the rest of humanity because my nose is flat against my face. Flat noses are completely flawless!

Except for the one major drawback. I can't take part in the annual Death Eaters Pick'n'Flick competiton. I can't get my finger up my nose.

ah, yeah. my 11 year old brother came up with the ending, but i love humiliating lil' ole' voldy.

i'll write more rants if ya want. review and tell me who you want to rant on what