Crispin Freeman is my waifu


What felt like years up to this point was actually only a couple of days since the end of my whole alternate dimension traveling adventure.

As usual, the SOS Brigade that composed of an ESPer, a time traveler, an alien and myself were sitting around in the Literature Club's room like it was ours.

The amount of stuff that filled the shelves made it seem like ours, and the paper sign that was placed just above the door in the hallways said it was ours, but no matter how we rationalized it, this room would still legally belong to the Literature Club.

We were all sitting around the table, Koizumi, Ms. Asahina and myself, while Nagato sat comfortably in her little corner of hers, reading a book.

The three of us meanwhile were tired from; you guessed it…our tests.

"I hope I managed to get a good score…" the fair Ms. Asahina sighed with trepidation.

It was a completely unnecessary worry, since we all knew how book-smart our senior was. Not to mention how, being from the future, the apex of the current time's math and science were probably considered elementary to her. Unless that is, if certain new discoveries completely changed the nature of mathematics and science so everything that we knew was completely different than what she knew…

"That's Classified Information, unfortunately…" the fairy-like Mikuru offered only a smile in response while shrugging her small shoulders.

"I'm quite confident that you did well, Ms. Asahina." Koizumi gave her his assurance and his own smile before looking toward me. "And I'm sure you did too, Kyon."

Gee, thanks.

In all honesty, it would have been impossible to do badly on the tests considering how the time studying leading up to them was.

It was horrific and painful, to be more specific.

I was mostly sticking to my room since SOS Brigade activities were put on hold, but thinking I was in the clear, Haruhi decided to drop in at my house to make sure I was studying personally.

At the end of each tutoring session I simply wanted to cry from how harsh an instructor Haruhi was while she repeatedly stated that she was the same with the rest of the Brigade members.

Which I doubt was true, since Yuki definitely wouldn't need a tutor and I knew that Koizumi and Ms. Asahina were smart too.

So, for the week leading up to the test Haruhi would come over in the evening after she made her rounds to the others' houses and hammer the subjects into me. Though there was no way I could get into contact with any of the others since no one picked up when I tried to call them when Haruhi wasn't looking.

She was polite and even nice toward my parents, while my sister loved hanging out with her anyways. But of course, I got the stick while the rest of my family got the carrot.

Did she act the same way for the others' families while at Mikuru and Koizumi's houses?

Our attention and peaceful lives were stolen as Haruhi barged through the door like always.

In her hands were a number of plastic and paper bags. A few of them looked like the type that one would get from the dry-cleaners while the rest were the classic grocery-type. With a few huffs she made her way toward the table and dumped the bags onto the table where we sat.

"Haruhi, I don't think Ms. Asahina needs this many costumes…"

"EH? Th-they're all costumes?" Shivering like someone just threw a bucket of water over her the small girl shot a glance at anyone who looked back in an effort to get a confirmation.

Haruhi, who rolled her shoulders and tilted her head in a few directions to stretch her neck, ignored the poor girl's question and instead stared straight at me for a moment before looking away.

"I was just thinking…" she began in that tone she used before she declared something. "What do you think is the cause of war in the world?"

What? Haruhi, way too deep for a highschooler!

"Well, there are a number of reasons…" Koizumi looked toward his glorious leader and answered as though she were really looking for an answer from us. It was obvious that he knew that it was a rhetorical question. But being the suck-up that he was, well, he really seemed to me to be the type who would ask if the class had homework minutes before school would end for Golden Week. "It can be because of differences in religion, scarcity of resources or even unfair distribution of wealth."

"Yes, yes, all very good answers, Itsuki…" Haruhi nodded in approval and she crossed her arms over her chest. "But most importantly is that people don't really understand each other, so there's no trust in the world!"

No, people just don't understand you. Heck, I've spent how many months with you in school and I'm still baffled by how you act sometimes!

"Shut up, Kyon! Honestly!" Throwing one of the plastic bags closest to her at me, the sound of ruffling gave way to bright colored clothing tumbling out of the bag in my lap.

"Are these girl's clothes?" Inspecting what appeared to be a large woman's sweater, I could only raise an eyebrow at the other pieces of clothing that were obviously too big to be worn by either Haruhi or Mikuru, not to mention Yuki.

"Yes they are, Kyon." Following suit, Haruhi tossed the remaining bags toward Koizumi and Mikuru in a gentler manner for them to ruffle through and take the clothes or boxes of shoes out. Haruhi meanwhile took the dry cleaning bags and hung them on the nearby costume rack. Unzipping the two bags, she revealed a pair of suits. "Ta dah!" She beamed with pride and quickly rushed back toward the table to help unpack the bags that remained.

All in all, there were two men's wigs, two girl's wigs, makeup, a woman's sweater, a pair of jeans, two knee-length skirts, a woman's blouse, stockings, a pair of sneakers, two pairs of loafers and two pairs of women's shoes and others that I didn't really pay attention to.

"It's become obvious to me that people don't really understand others, and as sad as it sounds, I think the same can be said for us!" Haruhi began.

That still doesn't explain the clothes…

"Well, like for example, how I don't really get what it's like to be a guy while you Kyon, obviously don't understand a girl's way of thinking!"

"Ah, so what you're saying is that you want us all to try 'walking in another person's shoes', but in the literal sense?"

"That's right, Itsuki! That's a great guess!" Haruhi's face lit up from her number 2's usual spot-on intuition.

"It's very important that as members of the SOS Brigade, we can understand others in order to solve their problems as well as get that much closer to world peace!"

You mean in order for the SOS Brigade to conquer the world, right?

"No Kyon! I mean like if someone needs rescuing or doesn't want to be misunderstood! Like if they're from another country or something! Now, let's see…I got girl's clothes for Itsuki and Kyon, as well as wigs and make up, too! For me and Yuki we have suits and fake moustaches…Mikuru, you're going to have to wear looser boy's clothes because your boobs are so big!"

"EH?" Mikuru's face predictably turned as red as the women's blouse that I now currently held in my hands, causing me to jump to my feet as the small girl shivered in embarrassment and looked away from us boys.

"Haruhi, please enough with that kind of sexual harassment, already! And the hell I'm going to dress up in drag! What does this have to do with understanding others? Couldn't you just ask what they like?"

Midway applying the fake men's moustache just above her upper lip, Haruhi had brushed her hair back and removed her orange headband and put on a net to keep her hair tight to her head in order to put on the men's wig. She glanced toward me and pretty much ignored my anger as she fixed the fake moustache on her face.

Standing up as well, (fake moustache) Haruhi pointed toward Itsuki who happily put on a long and wavy brunette colored wig. "Itsuki can be Koizumi Itsuki ( ), Yuki can be Nagato Yuuki, Mikuru can be Asahina Mitsuru, I'll be Suzumiya Haruhiko and you can be…Kyonko!"

"Please don't ignore me…" I could only sigh as Haruhi rushed over to apply a moustache to Yuki's face while she continued to read.

"Oh come on, Kyonko, lighten up!" she answered in a baritone, "you wouldn't want to get wrinkles from frowning too much! You should be cheerful that you got good scores on the tests!"

"Tsk, I'll frown if I want to and—hold up…you know our scores?"

"Well yeah!" Finished applying makeup on an embarrassed-looking Koizumi, Haruhi stood right in front of me, stupid moustache and all. "I bet that Student Council President that the SOS Brigade would ace the exams in exchange for official recognition of the SOS Brigade." Her smile was wide and toothy and proud of the fact.

"Why didn't you just tell us about the bet? I would've tried harder if those kinds of stakes were on the line…I guess…"

Haruhi's eyes grew wide in surprise and her hazel orbs glanced away for a moment. She also hid her face under her wig and stupid moustache for a bit. "Geez…" her voice sounded shaky and broke out of her baritone voice from before. "It's because…I didn't want to put any undue pressure and have you choke! It would've been troublesome if you didn't continue on to the next grade with the rest of us…why else would I come over to your house all those times…?"

"Is that really the reason?" I couldn't help but grin at her excuse. In retaliation, Haruhi suddenly planted the second girl's wig and snapped a picture from a camera tucked in her uniform skirt.

"Now what was that for?" It was my turn to stare at Haruhi with wide eyes.

Putting away her camera, the girl in drag smirked while looking at me. "Well obviously it's because I've wanted to see what you'd look like as a girl, remember? Now, if you don't want me to spread that picture, I want you to do your utmost best as a member of the SOS Brigade next school term as well, ok?"

Offering that confident smirk of her like always, Haruhi turned her attention onto Mikuru next, much to her dismay.

I could only shake my head in wonder, doubting that even if I walked one hundred miles in her shoes I would ever understand what that girl was thinking.

Maybe a certain Counterpart of mine could explain, but…that's a story for another day…

Author's Notes: I feel like this subtle end is good way to stop, what do you guys think?

Thanks for waiting all this time, I lost interest for a bit but regained it after watching the "Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya" English dub. I don't think there's really anything else that needs tying up, but please PM or review if you still have questions!

It was a bit startling to re-read through the previous chapters and see how my writing style has changed between this and my current works. I hope those of you who reviewed before get to read this chapter and enjoy it as something worth the wait. Well, back to getting my degree!