193Oh my goodness an update! Yes, my fellow readers, I apologize for the delay. I had a bad run-in with writer's block, but I've wanted to update this (and my other stories) for a while. It wasn't until I saw the hits for this story tonight (way over twenty-four thousand!) that my need to write picked up. This isn't the best chapter I've ever written, but it's enough. I like it.
ANYways, please enjoy this new chapter, and yes, there is stil much to come. I just haven't written it yet. Once again I repeat myself when I say that I will be completing ALL my stories, it's just going to take some time.
-Juana
Chapter Eighteen: Scar Worship
We made love right there, bodies hot, moans escaping our lips as we desperately clung to one another. We reached overload as one, bodies connected through our new bond, a promise to never hurt each other again. We collapsed to the floor, holding each other lovingly and whispering secrets in the other's audios. Prowl kissed me on the lips so gently, I barely felt them against mine. I smiled into the kiss, placed a hand on his arm and slid off his over armor.
"Jazz," he whispered, trying to suppress the sudden panic in his voice as he tried to sit up, "what are you doing?"
"Loving you even more," I answered back. I scooted down slightly and took his exposed arm in my hands. I gazed at his scars without any hint of repulsion, then, without warning, I bent over and kissed a scar tenderly. Prowl gasped softly in disbelief, so barely audible, but it was not meant to be an objection. So I continued.
With each kiss to each individual scar, I murmured something to him.
Kiss.
"I love you."
Kiss.
"You're beautiful."
Kiss.
"I never want to lose you."
Kiss.
"I would move the stars for you."
Kiss.
"I will always be here to protect you."
Kiss.
It went on for more than a human hour. Prowl allowed me to love each and every scar on his arm, flinching every so often before he'd had enough and pulled his arm out of my hands.
"Prowl? What's wrong?" I was worried I had offended him. He slid his over armor back on and looked away from me while nervously playing with his hands, something he'd never done before.
"I'm sorry," he answered, "I just felt strange. I'm still trying to become accustomed to being touched and loved so often." I sat up and reached over to hug him. He moved away from me, then said,
"Jazz, wait. I love you, I truly do. I just need a breem or two alone to just calm myself."
"No," I object, "Prowl, what's wrong? Did I do something? Please, just tell me. Are you…are you embarrassed?" His silence is all the answer I need. Shaking my head, I take his arm and pull him back into my chest. I kiss his forehead, then say in a low, quiet voice,
"Sweetheart, you're beautiful. I love you, and I don't care if you hurt yourself. Your scars are fine. I know you need some alone time, but please, don't feel bad about them. Or yourself, there's nothing for you to be ashamed of." Prowl didn't look up at me, but buried his face into my chest and sighed deeply. His body began to shake in my arms.
"Prowl? Are you okay?"
"Mmm-hmmm…" he answered with a high pitch. It sounded like he was trying to avoid speaking. I suddenly realized he was crying! He was crying and he didn't want me to see; he was so humiliated by his own self-consciousness, and I hadn't even realized it. I smiled softly and lifted his chin up to look me in the optics. His cheeks were drenched in optic fluid, and his bottom lip trembled as he tried to hide it.
"What's wrong?"
"I just…Jazz, you're the best mech in the universe. You're so wonderful… I don't deserve you."
"Yes, you do. Just like I deserve you. We were meant to find one another, I'm sure of it. I've waited to find you forever, and I'm not just saying that."
He huddled into my arms and pressed his cheek against my chest, smiling despite his tears and whispered,
"Your spark is so warm, Jazz."
"Love heats me up," I replied. He snorted, trying to hide his amusement at the dorkiest thing I'd ever said, while I pulled him closer and pressed a soft kiss on his forehead.
Soon after, he fell into a very deep, heavy recharge, snoring loudly like the previous night. This time, though, I refused to let myself fall into recharge as well. This time I had to stay online. This time I had to be there to make sure no one got in and took us away from each other. This time, there were going to be no mistakes.
The night went by smoothly but slowly. I had remained on-line through the night, keeping Prowl pressed against me in a gesture of my bottomless need to protect him. I admit I was exhausted by the time morning rolled around, and I finally allowed myself to drift off as he began to come back online from his recharge.
He kissed me before getting up to meditate in his tree, giving me some time to fall over and finally fall into recharge myself. He wasn't aware I had been online for the past eight earth hours, so when he returned twelve breems later, he shook me back online with concerned optics.
"Jazz? Jazz, it's morning. It's not healthy to sleep all day."
"Sure it is," I answered as I pulled him back down and wrapped my arms around him, "Just gimme a few more cycles, I need 'em." Prowl was about to protest, but thought better of it and decided to leave me alone. He worked his way out of my arms and said,
"Very well. I'm going to get some energon, how much would you like?"
"Just a coupla' cubes, sweet'art," I mumbled before I fall back asleep.
It's late afternoon when I finally wake up. Prowl isn't in his room; in fact, no one is on the base at all. I comm. link Ultra Magnus, who answers like a grumpy old mech.
"Jazz? Where have you been?"
"Hi, Commander. I was recharging."
"All day?!"
"Actually, I was online all night, and only fell in recharge this morning."
His end of the line is a shocked silence. I ask him if he's all right.
"Jazz, I know this isn't my business, but you have a job to do. You can't spend every night with Prowl interfa—"
"Oh…oh, no! Sir, that ain't why," I interrupt, "No, no, I was keeping watch. I don't want him to get hurt, not again. I couldn't sleep, I had to stay up and keep a watch out for Lockdown. Is he still in custody?"
"Yes, he is. All right, Jazz, I'm letting you off with a warning. But this can't become a normal thing. I know you care for him, but you have a job to do; you are an Elite Guard, you have to guard and protect more than just your partner. Is that understood?"
"Yes, sir. I apologize."
"Thank you. If this happens again, I'm afraid I may have to place you on probation, and it will include not being able to see Prowl for a while."
"I understand."
"Good. I'm on the ship right now, but Optimus Prime and his crew may need some assistance. Give him a call, see if he needs you."
"Yes, sir. I'll do that now."
And a good thing I did. We had much to worry about.
Dum Dum DUM! What's gonna happen!? I know, but can you guess?
-Juana