Snape announces intention to adopt Potter!

In a move that has turned the wizarding world's expectations on their heads, Severus Snape has applied to adopt Harry Potter, defeater-of-He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named-for-the-second-time. This has shocked all but Harry's closest friends. Everyone knows or knew how much animosity there was between the pair for the five years Harry Potter has been at school.

"Snape couldn't even be in the same room without making a snide remark about Harry." Says Dean Thomas, long-time dorm mate of Harry Potter.

"Potter hated Severus. He went purposely out of his way to annoy the man, although, I must admit that most of the attacks were provoked." states Minerva McGonagall, transfiguration teacher and head of Gryffindor. These comments show plain hate. Could Harry be being forced?

However, Hermione Granger, long time best friend of our hero tells a different story.

"Severus saved Harry's life and had to put him up for a few weeks due to the circumstances. They discovered a new side to each other and then kept saving each other's lives after that. They worked tirelessly together to bring down V… and found in each other what they needed. I was there when Severus 'popped the question' as it were, and it was beautiful to behold. There was no coercion or force involved, just two people who needed what the other could provide."

The adoption will take place this weekend. Stay tuned for a special issue of the 'Daily Prophet'.


Man-Who-Defeated-You-Know-Who changes name!

Harry Potter will now be known as Harry Snape. This morning, Severus Sebastian Snape, youngest potion master in over three centuries and main inventor of the wolfbane potion and the anti-cruciatus relief potion, adopted Harry Potter, not just legally, but also by blood. Harry Snape will now carry features of his chosen father which will slowly override the ones of James Potter. In response to our earlier article, our saviour sent in a statement.

"Severus Snape has now been revealed as the spy for the light he always was. The life of a spy is precarious, especially when spying on a paranoid, half-crazy Dark Lord. All the death-eaters knew Voldemort wasn't completely dead; the marks on their fore-arms weren't gone, merely faded. Severus had to keep his cover just in case Voldemort ever returned to corporal form. He couldn't be chummy with me, or not favour the Slytherins, especially the children of death-eaters; otherwise he would lose contact with the dark servants who stayed out of Azkaban.

Over the summer I spent two weeks in Severus' house to learn some valuable duelling skills from my father, who happens to be a champion duellist as well. He never entered any competitions, but wins as much as he loses in friendly fights with Professor Flitwick, five times world champion. I think, no, I know that it was the skills I learnt that summer that allowed me to defeat Voldemort.

He helped me through many of the issues I have needed to deal with and we were able to get past our differences. I have come to respect and admire the true Severus Snape. I could not ask for a better father."

There we have it dear readers. The exact words written by our saviour. We asked to take out the name of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named but Harry Snape demanded that we print it as is. His words were to the effect of 'he is dead and cannot hurt you any more.' We can only hope that Mr Snape's reasons are pure and that he will not be a bad influence on our Harry Potter.

"You don't have to do this Harry." Severus said with concern in his voice. Harry was beside him, hard eyed and tense as he looked at the white door with a number 4 on the front.

"Yes, I do. If I don't Vernon will always be hanging over my head." He started forwards and knocked on the door. I opened to reveal Petunia Dursley whose eyes widened as she recognised the visitors. Harry put his boot in the door as she slammed it shut. He pushed it open out of her nervously trembling fingers and stepped inside, Severus following. Petunia backed away towards the living room where the rest of her family were. Vernon looked up as she entered and then stood up hurriedly.

"Boy! What are you doing back here?" he took a step back as he saw Severus. "And you, why are you here?"

"To avenge Harry." Severus replied in his most chilling voice. With that, he raised his wand and whispered 'father's revenge', pointing his wand at each of the Dursleys in turn.

Vernon was the first to react. He howled as he felt stripes erupting on his back as though left there by his belt. Petunia was next. She heard words like 'worthless', 'freak', 'monster', 'unlovable' bombard her ears and the gnawing pains of hunger grip her stomach. Dudley too cried as he felt a punch in his eye, a kick in his ribs, a shove between his shoulders. Harry walked and stood, looking at them.

"You will feel as I felt, weep as a I wept, starve as I starved until you realise that your behaviour was wrong and feel regret, not just because you now suffer the same, but because I was a child whose innocence was shattered. I already know that. My father has shown me your monstrosity in its true light." With that he turned and swept away, copying Severus' trademark. At the door way he was stopped by Vernon's hateful voice.

"You have no father! You are a worthless, orphaned whelp that no one wants and that we should have abandoned in an alley way or drowned." Harry turned and smiled a cold, frightening smile.

"Actually, dear Dursley, I have a father. Severus adopted me a few days ago and don't they say that a chosen child is sometimes more dear than one that is foisted upon you by an accidental pregnancy." With that he turned and disappeared from sight with his father whilst Vernon was left speechless.

The next stop was the headmaster's office. The gargoyle let them in and they sat down in front of Dumbledore's desk.

"What can I do for you my boys?" the ever present twinkle faded as he saw the seriousness in their faces.

"We want answers." Severus was the spokes person. Albus nodded hesitantly.

"First, why did you leave Harry with Petunia when you knew he had a living father? Second, why did you never check up on him? Neither of his parents were particularly short, so did it not ring any alarm bells when he turned up to Hogwarts the shortest in the year? Third, did you know about the abuse, and would you have done anything about it if you had? We have held our questions and anger at bay because we did not wish to divide the light, but we want straight and true answers now." Harry nodded his eyes unusually cold. Albus bowed his head.

"I know I failed both of you and I am sorry. I put Harry with the Dursleys because as long as he was with his mother's blood relatives, Lily's sacrifice would continue to protect him. I didn't tell you, Severus, because I knew that for one thing, to keep your cover up, you could not look after Voldemort's defeater, and for another, you would never have left your son in the care of another if you knew.

No, I did not know of the abuse. I didn't check on him because I thought too much attention would draw death eater eyes there and I believed he was safe." He saw their disbelieving faces. "Alright, I knew Petunia wasn't fond of her sister and I didn't want pity to overcome my decision because to my mind, it was the safest place for you. Yes, if I had known that Petunia's jealousy extended to allowing her husband to brutalise a small child, I would have taken you from them immediately, wards be damned!" the uncustomary swearing shocked the listeners. "I am terribly sorry for the suffering you went through Harry, but I am also very proud of how you turned out despite the odds." Severus and Harry looked at each other and then back at Dumbledore.

"We understand you tried to do the best for the greater part, but you have to realise that all decisions have consequences, and the consequence of these decisions is that our relationship is damaged. If you wish to start to mend it, you will need to do penance." Albus bowed his head solemnly.

"Yes Severus, and I will accept any sanction you choose to place, barring my life or magic." The two withdrew to have a discussion. Albus caught snippets.

"What about… too harsh. We could... that's letting him off…he'd enjoy that…ok, what about this..." finally they looked up seriously.

"We have decided that for two months, you must wear only black, eat no sweets and experience Harry's memories at night with the sensation revealing charm. In addition, you must swear an oath that you will remain within your bounds as headmaster and head of the Wizgamot no matter the student." Albus agreed solemnly. He was sure he had Harry to thank for the leniency of the sentence. He had always had a good heart. Severus was far more vindictive. Although, no lemon drops…that was truly devious.

He swore the oath and then shook hands with the two men before they exited leaving one old man dressed in sober black with his phoenix laughing at him.

The End