Tales of Exaggeration... nia!

Crack, randomness and in no particular order.

It was a beautiful and peaceful day in Iselia, nevertheless a hell for the students in Prof. Raine Sage's class.


Yeah, Lloyd was sleeping in class again.

Genis Sage, Raine's cowardly brother that alwaysgets owned (one way or another), was curled up into a ball under his desk and happy he brought earplugs. Colette Brunel, the Chosen and a major kluzy airhead -That trips every two steps she takes-, was oblivious to all. What about the other students? Maybe dead or clutching their ears in pain by now.

"LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!" Raine reached for the nearest object -which was unfortunately her younger brother- and flung it towards Lloyd.

"Gah!" Lloyd stumbled backwards from the impact. "Professor Raine, is class over?" he asked, oblivious to the class and the angry teacher right in front of him.

Raine's face was red with fury. As she flung Lloyd out the window, she said calmly, "Genis, why don't you answer the question?"

The problem was, Genis was unconsious. So what whould've happened happened. The kid got flung out of the hole made by Lloyd when he got flung out of the window.

"Colette, why don't you answer the question?"

"Um.. Red! Yellow! Apple! Peach! Banana! abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz!"

Raine sighed. Then the oracle shined about ten times.

Meanwhile... In Derris-Kharlan...

"Mithos! Stop pressing the 'oracle' button!"

"Aw, come on Kratos! it's fun!"

Kratos started pressing said button. "You're right... it's addicting..."

"So, wanna have a contest? whoever presses the button the most in 30 seconds! Go!"

Back in Iselia...

The oracle was shining repeatedly, so fast that everyone became blind from the continuous bright light. As Lloyd woke up, he shouted right away "WHAT IS THIS OMINOUS LIGHT THAT THREATENS TO ENGULF US!?"

Genis woke up, thanks to Lloyd shouting right beside him. He put on a pair of sunglasses he grabbed from his 'Inventory'. "Do you even know what OMINOUS means?"

"Dunno, I just heard it on TV."

"Do we even have TV?"

"I dunno."

Meanwhile, Raine busted out of the unbroken window while laughing maniacaly. She ran at lighting speed, knocking the two boys unconsious again, and headed for the temple. Like all the Main Characters, she's oblivious to the light.

And so, Colette had to drag Lloyd and Genis all the way to the Martel Temple in the bright light. By tripping. By the time they got there (Colette dragged them up the stairs still while tripping), the priests were all dead, and Botta, gone. Colette proceeded to drag the two inside, but tripped and knocked Genis down the stairs. Lloyd awoke again, and dived down the cliff for Genis. Colette gave up and tripped her way into the temple, tripped and broke the glowy door, then tripped on the warp pad and breaking it.

But where was Kratos? Button mashing, of course!

Genis fell in a thorn bush. He leaped out as if he just sat on fire. Lloyd was still okay, even after jumping off a cliff and landing on his face. He somehow stumbled into a trapdoor and got sent into the altar room. Colette gave up on the warp pad, so she went outside to chase a butterfly. Her attention quickly diverted to a dog, so she chased the dog until the poor animal jumped off a cliff. "Noooooo! Poochie! And I thought you loved me!" Colette tripped off after the dog, and fell through the ceiling.

But where was Kratos? Still button mashing!

Now it was Genis' turn to get up there. Since he had no spells like Spread, he ran up the all-so-convenient stairs that no one noticed.

Now where the hell was Kratos?!

In Derris-Kharlan

"Er... Kratos? Aren't you late?" Mithos waved a hand in front of Kratos' face. No response. "He must have taken that dumb comment seriously. Well, If you're not going, I'll sent the angels right away."

Back to the Martel Temple...

"Too low! Too low!" Shouted a voice when an angel crashed through the altar. "Okay, there! Perfect!"

The Oracle was still flashing due to Kratos, so the three didn't notice the angel that appeared before them. Colette was more focused on a butterfly again. Just as the Oracle stopped shining, they barely noticed Kratos warping into the room. Now that everyone could see clearly, Lloyd shouted, "WHAT THE HECK IS THAT?!" while pointing a finger at the Angel with a 'fro and dark sunglasses, and had a disco outfit that would make even Michael Jackson jealous.

Kratos coughed twice. "An Angel, I would assume."

The angel started, "I'm Remiel, the Disco King! Who broke ma ceiling?"

Everyone stayed silent.

Remiel snapped his fingers, and a disco ball floated in the air. "Let's DANCE!"

Kratos leaned towards Remiel and whispered something into his ear. Then the disco ball turned into a Cruxis Crystal and attached to Colette. "OoOoO... Pwettey Lights..."

Oh, how Kratos wanted to jump out the window right now. "Chosen, let us go down. By the stairs." Too late, Colette already tripped though the window.

Surprisingly, Remiel was still there. So yeah, they started a dance-off, with Lloyd's defeat. And so... the merry walk down the stairs to hell.

"Hai... Hic! Professhor... Hic! Raine..." Not surprising that there was booze at that dance-off.


"But you... Hic!Didn't shay anyshing..."

"SILENCE! OR I'LL KILL YOU! And... Did you drink?"

"We... Hic! Losht a bet... Hic!"

-Insert Massively Violent Scene Here-

And... I think I'll end it here. Stay tuned!