It would be easier to hate you

To just give in and hate

But I don't want to

I don't want our memories to be tainted

It would be easier for you to just let me love you

But you don't want me

You made that part clear

It would be so much easier to hate

Because I know you don't lay in bed

For hours thinking of my smell

My skin

My lips

My hair

But I can't let that happen

So here we are

'Friends'

But we both know we aren't

Do you want to hurt me more?

Is that why you flirt with me?

Because I can't flirt back without slipping up

And showing you how much I really care

Why do you use any opportunity to hold me?

To touch my arm?

Do you know how much your touch burns my skin?

You must know the urge that comes over me when you do

The urge to kiss you again

You're the one who made me cry

You aren't the one allowed to be angry

And why are you flirting with me?

And not my best friends?

Do you know how hard it is

To see you and not spring into your arms

Not to tell about all of this?

Do you know how much you affected my life?

How happy you made me?

And do you know now that I still love you.

But you never loved me

Not even when you called me perfect

Was it another person?

Was I too starry-eyed?

An hour before you where telling me about our future

And then you decided I wasn't so perfect any more

But why do you do this?

Do you want me to break down?

To show my weakness for you to everyone?

That isn't going to happen 'baby'

You will never see my tears

And you will never hear my screams

No matter how many times you laugh

Or pull me into a hug

I'm building a tower around myself

And soon you won't be able to reach me

No one will.