Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. I only own the rantings of a frustrated, jealous girl.

Lavender Freaking Brown

Ron and Lavender.

Ronald Weasley and Lavender freaking Brown.

Ah yes. It seems I have a small problem. You see, I have discovered newfound violent tendencies towards attractive, blonde, violet-eyed girls with too much to say. I don't understand it; I've never felt like committing some horrible, violent act against someone that's never really done anything to me.

The things is, she makes me hate myself when I'm around her. She just turns me into this awful, violent, jealous, vindictive beast. I really don't understand it. Not at all.

In fact, had it not been for her, I wouldn't have asked Mclaggen to the Christmas party and I would have probably just gone with Harry and we'd have had a grand old time. But no. I had to hear "One hundred and one greatest saves, courtesy of Cormac Mclaggen." I know it's my own fault I asked him to make Ron jealous, but why did I have to be so stupid about it? I could have easily made Ron jealous just finding a date period. He's like that.

But anyway… maybe I do sort-of understand why I turn into this creature in front of Lavender. It has a little something to do with my inability to tell the difference between platonic and certainly less-than-platonic feelings. I've never had this problem before; I don't know why I am now. I think it's safe to say you would not want to snog "just a friend's" brains out. All I do know is every time I hear that petite, skinny…thing shriek "Oh, Won-Won!" I very nearly throw something at her or him, for that matter.

And that's another thing! What about him? The stupid git just had to take it up with her?! I mean, I know she's beautiful, but she's entirely too giggly and irritating. Even when I didn't hate her with every fiber of my being, she always made me roll my eyes. Her presence is very jarring. Who wants to be dating someone whose complete presence is headache-worthy? I haven't the foggiest.

And then there's Harry. Now he has to be all understanding and sympathetic. It would have been a thousand times better if he'd just taken Ron's side like he always does. Then I wouldn't have to pretend that the whole situation doesn't really bother me at all. I mean, Merlin, he's a bloke, isn't he? Doesn't that make him automatically tactless and insensitive? I would think so, but no. Those ungodly beings down in the deepest circle of hell have decided to drive me completely insane.

And that's exactly what's happening. I'm going mad. A sane person doesn't have violent tendencies, do they?

All I can take comfort in is that if the beings of hell have decided to do this to me, there must be something far worse than this in store for all the evil people in this world. Including Lavender freaking Brown.

A.N. And I leave you with that. Don't you love jealous,crazy!Hermione? She's great to write.

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