The Celebration

Janet owns all the characters here.

By Josie

I twirled once in front of my bedroom mirror, trying to see the back of the little black dress I had just bought without trying on while at the big Macy's sale. Macy's sales are holy in the Burg so every woman I knew or had ever met while growing up was probably at the sale, and that meant no change rooms. Women regularly left the sale bruised and bloody from trying to get into a change room, and I had a big date that night so I wasn't going to take any chances with catching some woman's elbow across the nose.

Joe was taking me out tonight to celebrate our third anniversary of being a sorta-couple. It was a little unclear exactly when we'd become a couple, so we had randomly chosen a date on which to celebrate our pseudo-anniversary. And I was calling us a sorta-couple since I wasn't sure we could really call ourselves a couple-couple because for the most part we were still doing the off and on thing, breaking up rather than dealing with our issues. We hadn't broken up much lately, but that was mainly because I was finding I couldn't be bothered to make the effort. It seemed easier just to accept our relationship for what it was than try to fight to change it into something that better suited me.

I slid my hands down over the material of the dress covering my hips, smoothing it out. It was a simple dress, sleeveless and with a plunging v-neck that made the most of my limited assets, but the price was right and it fit me well, so I was calling the shopping trip a success.

I looked over my shoulder to check the time; I had an hour before Joe should be arriving. More than enough to put my face on and fight with my hair a bit. The two activities took up 55 of my 60 minutes so I strapped on my black heels, gathered everything I would need into my little beaded clutch purse, and sat down on my couch to watch the beginning of a hockey playoff game while I waited for Joe to arrive.

Two and a half hours later the game was winding up and Joe still hadn't arrived. I had tried calling his cell a couple of times at the beginning, thinking he was just running late, but the calls went straight to voice mail. I hadn't bothered to leave messages, thinking that he would get there as quickly as he could, but as the night and the hockey game went on I started to realize that it wasn't looking very likely that Joe was coming at all.

The phone finally rang during the post-game interviews. The caller ID told me it was Joe, so I did my best to keep my hello civil even though he was calling me almost three hours after he was supposed to pick me up. I told myself that this was one of the things you had to deal with when you dated a detective on the police force.

"Hey Cupcake," he said, interrupting my thoughts. "Sorry I didn't call earlier. I got tied up with something. We're going to have to do dinner another night, OK?"

See? I said to myself. Something came up with work. "Got called on a big case?" I asked him.

He gave a small chuckle. "Nah, nothing like that. George Pender got a promotion today so a bunch of took him out to celebrate."

I could feel my jaw literally drop. It took me a moment before I could respond. "But we were supposed to go to dinner."

"Yeah, I know, Cupcake, but this was important."

"Our dinner was to celebrate our anniversary!"

I could practically hear his jaw set in a stubborn line over the phone. "We can do that anytime. Pender getting a promotion doesn't happen just anytime, so I had to go out with the guys. I thought you'd be more understanding about this. We can go to dinner tomorrow or something." He paused for a moment, but before I could respond he added, "No, not tomorrow night. I've got plans with Mooch to watch one of the playoff games. Maybe the night after that. We'll have to have a raincheck, but we'll figure something out."

I found that I didn't know how to respond. The old Stephanie would have been yelling at him by now. The old Stephanie would have told him where to stick his raincheck. This Stephanie found that she couldn't bring up enough emotion to care and just wanted to hang up so she could take off her four-inch heels and find a carton of Cherry Garcia in the freezer.

Joe and I hung up shortly after that. He didn't offer any other apologies and I didn't offer any understanding at the fact that he had stood me up to celebrate our anniversary.

I was standing there, the phone still in my hand, staring blankly at my feet, when I heard Ranger say, "Pretty docile reaction for a woman of your spirit, Babe."

I whipped around to find him leaning against the wall by my front door. "When did you get here?" I asked, needing to know how much he had heard.

He ignored the question but came across the floor to sit down on the couch next to where I was standing.

"All dressed up with nowhere to go?" he asked, his fingers playing lightly at the edge of my skirt.

"Something like that." I put the phone down on my end table and flopped down on the couch next to him so I could take off my shoes. My big plans for the evening had changed from dinner out to taking enjoyment in setting my foot arches free. I would have cried over that if I wasn't feeling so dead inside.

My head flopped back over the edge of the couch and I just laid there like that, not saying anything, until I felt Ranger pick up one of my feet and start rubbing it.

"What are you doing?" I asked, but I didn't make any movement to pull my foot away either.

Ranger didn't respond, but just kept rubbing. Finally he said, "You want to talk about it?"

"The foot rub?"

"Your broken date. You and Morelli were supposed to be celebrating tonight, weren't you?"

I bit my lip while I tried to decide how to answer and decided avoidance was my best bet for the moment. "What are you doing here if you thought I would be out with him?"

Now it was Ranger's turn to hesitate before answering. It wasn't much of a hesitation. On anyone else I would have written it off as a pause to take a breath, but I knew Ranger. He had hesitated.

"I was driving by and saw your lights on."

I shifted a little on the couch so I could see his face better, but without actually drawing my foot away from where his talented fingers were still massaging it. I wasn't entirely stupid. "Driving by? Were you on a job?"

The corner of his lips rose just slightly enough to qualify as a half-smile. "I couldn't just happen to be in the neighborhood?"

This brought a return smile to my face. Admittedly mine was a whole lot bigger. "Is that really the story you want to go with?" A thought occurred to me and I felt my eyes widen. "My dinner reservations. I never canceled. Is it all around Trenton already that Joe stood me up on our sorta-anniversary?" My eyes pinched closed as I felt my stomach lurch. I really didn't want to have to deal with explaining to my mother tomorrow as to why Joe would rather spend the evening with his cop buddies than me.

"Babe, I never heard from the gossip mill. I just happened to see your lights on and decided to come up and check on you."

I chanced looking at him again. "How did you know I wouldn't be here with Joe?"

"His truck wasn't in the lot. Also, he prefers to have you on his home turf when he has the choice, not here on yours."

I didn't stop to consider the accuracy of that observation, instead I said, "So you didn't hear from the Burg, you just happened to be driving by." I left the observation hanging, my disbelief hanging there with it.

Ranger sat back on the couch and removed his hands from my foot, leaving it hanging in the air across the edge of his knee. The air felt cool compared to the heat of his hands, but that wasn't what left me feeling cold deep inside. I shifted my butt on the couch so I was laying lengthwise across it and placed both legs across his thigh.

His voice was so low and quiet that I had to strain to hear him, even though he was only a couple feet away. "What do you want me to say, Stephanie? That I've been sitting in your lot for an hour since I heard that Morelli's at a bar with a bunch of his buddies? That I've been watching your apartment, trying to decide whether to come up and talk to you or just leave you alone so I don't have to watch you cry about some other man? That I can't decide if I want to comfort you before I watch you go back to the cop like you always do, or whether I want to tell you he's not good enough for you and make a move on you myself?"

"Make a move on me yourself?" I asked, shocked. "What do you call all those kisses and innuendos and..." I broke off, unable to articulate the effect even his most casual touch always has on my skin.

His voice was calm when he responded. "I call that maintaining my sanity. I call that taking the absolute minimum necessary in order to survive."

I sucked in a deep breath and still felt like I wasn't getting any air in my lungs. I think that's why my voice was so breathy when I said, "I can't imagine what it would be like if you were really pursuing me then."

His eyes remained on his hand as it wrapped around my ankle and his thumb stroked lightly over the side of my foot. A shock ran through my body, literally jolting me in my seat. He didn't raise his eyes from where he was looking, but he gave me a moment to settle back in my seat before resuming his previous movements.

"Can't you, Babe?"

It was only then that he raised his eyes to mine and the look in them pulled every last bit of breath out of my lungs.

He gave a long slow blink before catching my eyes again and I felt his hand slide up my leg a bit, coming to rest on my calf.

"Why do you keep encouraging my relationship with Joe if you feel like this?" I blurted out.

Ranger didn't remove his hand from where it rested, but his grip tightened just fractionally, not much but enough to let me know he was trying to think how to phrase his answer. His eyes didn't leave mine the entire time.

"You weren't ready for the idea of a relationship yet. Not a real one, and not one with me." He gave a small tilt of his head that I knew was his version of a shrug. "I wasn't really ready yet either."

My voice was a whisper when I said, "And now?"

He gave a small nod of his head, but didn't answer me. Instead he said, "Are you happy with him, Babe?"

I felt my upper body pull back at the question, but I didn't do my usual M.O. of mentally or physically fleeing the scene to avoid an uncomfortable question. I answered him honestly. "I'm not unhappy."

The corner of his lips quirked in a smile. "Is that enough to carry you through the rest of your life?"

"Sometimes it's all you think you can get," I mumbled.

His fingers began massaging where they sat on the muscle of my calf. "Is that enough?" he repeated.

I suddenly got angry at him. "What would you have me do? Dump Joe and face my mother's perpetual complaining and nagging and questioning of my sanity just so I can live in hope that one day you'll actually decide that it's time for 'someday'?"

I felt more emotion in that one moment than I had been feeling for the last year of my relationship with Joe. It was like waking up from a long, deep sleep, and as angry as I felt, I also felt really good to be alive once more.

Ranger sounded perturbed if not outright angry when he said, "Maybe 'someday' has been waiting to see if you'll actually be willing to give it a shot, or if you'll just stay with the safe easy thing you had with the cop."

For some reason I got hung up on his verb tense. "Had?"

His hand stilled. I knew it was because he was inwardly cursing himself. Why, I didn't know. I could hear the refrigerator start up in the kitchen in the silence that had fallen over the room as Ranger debated with himself about what to say. Finally he decided.

"I'm sick of watching you with him. I'm sick of watching you kill the spark that you have in you just to keep him happy. I'm sick of watching you decide that what you want isn't important enough to fight about or for. I'm sick of watching him touch you. I'm sick of not being allowed to touch you the way I want to, when I want to." His eyes were burning into mine. "I can't promise you that being with me would be easy. I can't promise you a white picket fence or anything resembling the typical Burg life. I can't promise that we're going to get along every moment of every day. I can't promise that I won't piss you off with my eating habits or my need for you to carry your gun and learn to better protect yourself. I can't promise not to get frustrated with your stubbornness. But I can promise you I'll never try to change you. I promise that I'll never try to make you into someone you're not. I promise that I'll never tell you you're not good enough just the way you are. I promise that I'll never treat you anything less than 100 percent seriously. I promise that I'll always support you. And I can promise that I'll always love you." He took a deep breath at the end of that and I could tell he was still trying to hold back more words. In all the years I had known him, I had never heard Ranger say so much. I couldn't see that I could give him anything less than he had just given me.

I looked at him from across the couch, but didn't make a move to come any closer to him. "I'm not good with emotion, and I may have a little bit of a history of freaking out and running rather than dealing with things," he cocked an eyebrow at that and gave a half-smile, but didn't otherwise interrupt me. "I think that's part of what kept me with Joe all this time. As much as we fought, as often as we disagreed, there was no risk to being with him." I stopped and took a deep breath. "I can't promise you I'm always going to agree with what you ask me to do. I can't promise that I won't make you frustrated or even angry sometimes. I can't promise that I'll never forget to take my gun. And occasionally I'm going to ask you to come to dinner with me at my parents' house and my grandmother will try to grab you. I know it's a lot to deal with and will require concessions from you that you might not want to make. But I can promise that I'll respect and love you every day for the rest of my life if you're willing to be part of it." I stopped and swallowed back the tears that were fighting at the corners of my eyes. "I already do love and respect you. I have for years."

He hauled me across the couch and onto his lap, capturing my lips in a kiss so passionate and full of love that I swear I felt steam coming out of my ears. The next thing I knew we were clawing at each other's clothes, trying to get more skin to skin contact, and then he was carrying me in his arms to the bedroom where we spent the rest of the night demonstrating our love for each other over and over and over again.

I woke up in the morning, wrapped in Ranger's arms, his face snuggled up against my neck so every breath sent a puff of warm air across my skin. I shivered at the sensation.

"Cold?" he asked, gathering me even tighter in his arms.

"No. Amazed at how right this all feels."

He rolled me over on my back so he could look down at me. "Any regrets?" His eyes were as serious as his tone.

I arched up so I could kiss him. "Never. You're the best thing that has or ever could happen to me." And then I kissed him again and he kissed me back and everything was exactly as it should be.

The End!