Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, nor did I create it. Blame Kishimoto.
Things Konoha Genin Teams are Not Allowed to Do
Naruto, you are not longer allowed to hogtie Tora and hold it above an open fire.
The same goes to you as well Sasuke.
Provoking Kakashi to use his Raikiri in the hot springs is not a good idea.
Sakura, while the Hokage appreciates you trying to help Naruto, setting him up on blind dates with the following kunoichi is now prohibited: Anko Mitarashi, Uzuki Yuugao, Shizune, or anyone the rank of chuunin or higher.
Naruto, quit encouraging Lee and Gai to increase their 'Flames of Youth.' It took two hours to put out that fire.
Quit encouraging Naruto in doing the aforementioned, Kakashi.
Sasuke, quit trying to convince academy students to help you with killing Itachi.
The Oiroke no Jutsu is hereby labeled a Forbidden Technique, the med-nins are running out of blood for the transfusions.
Naruto, you will not turn the Hokage Monument into a giant advertisement for the Icha Icha book series.
Especially if Jiraya and Kakashi think it's a good idea.
Naruto, Ibiki would like to have a talk with you about how you managed to have his clothes turn psychedelic colors during an interrogation.
Edited pictures of various shinobi and kunoichi in compromising positions being placed on walls as posters will not happen again, Naruto.
Tsunade does not have the secret to burning eternal youth, Sasuke, so quit trying to encourage Gai and Lee to discover her secrets to brighten their flames of youth.
Sakura, quit trying to put in mission requests to force the rest of Sasuke's fan girls into arranged marriages.
Requesting the elders to do the same is also prohibited.
Naruto, you wouldn't know why the Hyuuga clan elders were found naked on top of the Hokage monument, would you.
Sasuke is no longer allowed on the Nara properties.
Neither is Naruto, the deer were traumatized enough.
Sasuke, neither you nor Naruto are allowed to associate with Genma ever again. One man-whore in Konoha is enough.
Sakura, quit encouraging Sasuke to learn seduction tips from Genma.
The same goes for you Kakashi.
Naruto, the proper solution to any problem is not ramen.
Naruto, quit persuading Konohamaru to pull pranks on the Hyuuga family.
Can one of you explain how the Inuzuka Compound smelled like perfume, with all of its inhabitants having pink hair and fur, and all of them breathing fire?
Naruto, the Kage Bunshin no Jutsu is not to be used under the following circumstances: picking up girls, convincing academy students that they should campaign for you to become Hokage, impersonating the village council…
Explosive tags are not meant to be used for home decorating, gardening, or capturing Tora.
Naruto, quit telling academy students that you are a big badass demon lord looking for cultist worshippers.
Alcoholic beverages and Katon Jutsu are no longer allowed together, Sasuke.
Naruto, can you explain why the entire interior of ANBU Headquarters is now orange?
By the way, how did you find where it is in the first place? Its' location is classified for a reason.
Naruto, any idea which makes you smile and giggle for more than fifteen seconds is not to be done.
Naruto, using the Oiroke no Jutsu and dressing the part of a flighty girl is not allowed.
Using the Oiroke no Jutsu and stripping is not to be done during a mission against enemy nins.
Even though it worked.
Kakashi, can you explain why your team was found in a bar frequented by shinobi, roaring drunk, and doing a strip dance?
Team Seven is no longer allowed to partake in alcoholic beverages for the time being.
Neither is Kakashi.
Sakura, while your technique was interesting, don't do it again, the repairs are beginning to cost too much.
No, Naruto, you can't sacrifice Tora to the Kyuubi in order to appease it.
Sasuke, the Aburame Clan elders would like to have a word with you about mixing insecticides with a Katon Jutsu near their properties.
For the three genin on the team, Kakashi is not your sugar-daddy, so quite addressing him as such.