Disclaimer: I sadly do NOT I repeat DO NOT own Saiyuki, nor the characters. Kazuya Minekura does. cries


Rated: M for sexual content, and Sanzo/Gojyo language meaning lots of cursing.

For everyone else: Please enjoy!

Summary: It has been raining out all day so, Gojyo decides to visit a miserable monk.

Title: Ugly day, Beautiful night

Sanzo was by the open window watching the rainfall, when Gojyo walked in.

"Oi, monk are you just gonna to sit there, or are you going to join us?" he asked, making his way inside and to Sanzo.


"C'mon Sanzo, you can't sit here forever, ya know the stupid monkey will start to worry about 'cha."

"Who cares, I didn't ask him to worry," was Sanzo's curt reply.

"Asshole, ya know damn well that he always worries about 'cha when it rains, and not just him, 'Kai too."


Gojyo sighed.

Studying him, he finds that something was different this time, but what. It almost seemed that this particular rain was making him sadder more vulnerable.

Even though he doubted he will; he asked anyway, "Do you want to talk about it Sanzo?"

At first, he said nothing, just kept looking out the window like there was no one with him in the room.

Sanzo reached out letting the raindrops fall onto his out stretched hand and arm, to him the sky was crying; doing something he had long since forgotten how to do.

"Sanzo…?" Gojyo called out

'Ok now I'm worried, something is really wrong with Sanzo.'

He was about to call to him again when Sanzo spoke, but it was so low Gojyo did not catch all of it.

"Um, sorry man but can ya repeat that I didn't get all of it?" he stated, coming next to the sullen monk.

"It happened today." He said, his voice just coming to a whisper.

"It…what Sanzo, what happened today?" he asked, trying to keep Sanzo talking.

"When my whole life changed"

'When your whole life changed' he thought, still not understanding.

He was about to ask when it finally hit him: 'Today must be the day his master was killed, no wonder he seems more depressed than usual. All the other times it was just the rain that brought back all those memories, now it's the day as well.'

To see if he was right, he took the chance and asked. "Is today the anniversary of your master's murder?"

Sanzo did not answer with words he just nodded.

"Damn, Sanzo, man I'm sorry." He does not know what else to say, that will not sound so cheap.

"I don't need your god damn pity." Sanzo said, cursing himself because his voice cracked.

"Just go back down stairs with the others, and leave me the hell alone." He spat out, taking a cigarette out; putting it to his lips, he lights it.

'The hell I will, there's no way I'm leaving now, not when you're like this.' Trying to find a way to take Sanzo's mind off the memories and the rain in addition, get him away from the window; he came up with one thing.

The only problem is, is that this particular thing might get him shot, 'Fuck might, it will get me shot.' he thought.

"Fuck it," taking a deep breath he reached out and took the cigarette putting it out, he then cups Sanzo's chin in his hand.

He then leaned forward pressing his lips to Sanzo.

Sanzo was in shock; his eyes growing wide, 'What the fuck is this cockroach doing?' he pushed him away, cheeks flushed, hand going straight to his lips.

'Damn, I was not expecting that or this,' Sanzo's lips were soft and his mouth tasted sweet, nothing like what he thought it would be. 'Hell I thought his lips would be rough and his taste would be of cigarettes and beer, but this,' he whistled.

'Plus, he's…blushing; Sanzo of all people is blushing. The world must be coming to an end.'

Stealing himself for what he thought would come next; he is surprised when nothing happened. He opened his eyes to Sanzo staring at him in a look he could only depict as disbelief.

'Okay, since I don't have a hole in my head; does that mean I'm safe, or is he going to do it once the shock wears off?'

Sanzo could not believe what just happened, 'The kappa kissed me, he kissed me and bloody hell, I liked it. Fuck, I must be down in the shits if I let the water sprite take my smoke and then kiss me, and actually liked it.'

He closed his eyes sighing, opening them he was about to say something but found himself being kissed again.

Gojyo kissed him again, but this time with just a little more force and passion to it.

At first, Sanzo tried to keep his mouth shut, but that damn tongue it seemed to be begging for admittance. Moreover, Gojyo was gently biting and sucking his lower lip. Therefore, what else was Sanzo to do but part his lips and let it happen?

Gojyo's heart raced, 'He's letting me in; better yet, he's letting me take control?'

Taking advantage of the situation, he pulled Sanzo up, away from the window, and towards the bed, moving slowly so Sanzo will not push away and shut down again.

Sanzo felt himself being pulled from the window, and taken somewhere but he did not care. Sanzo continued to move backwards, until the back of his legs hit the end of the bed.

His body stiffened.

Gojyo sensing him tense up, started to caress the small of his back, trying to relax him. It seemed to be working because he can feel his body loosening up a little, and he heard what he could only describe as a purr.

'God, Sanzo's purring,' he feels himself getting rock hard in an instant.

He was not going to go this far but, 'Damn if I can get this out of him and not get shot, what else can I get out of the monk ?'

Only one way to find out so, he continued.

'Did I just purr? I did, I purred the fucking bastard; first, he kisses me and for fuck sake, I liked it, then he just rubs my back and I GOD DAMN FUCK'N PURR. That is it; as soon as I get away, I will kill him. I'll grab my gun and shoot the perverted bastard right between the eyes. Send him ta hell, then drag his ass back here and do it all…' All thought went out of his head when he felt Gojyo touching his dick. 'And, damn it ta hell I'm hard' Sanzo gasped into Gojyo's mouth.

The kappa smiled around the kiss when he feels Sanzo's arousal 'seems I am not the only one enjoying this.'

Even through the jeans, its unmistakable Sanzo IS aroused. His hand travelled up a little to the button and zipper of his pants, undoing both in one slide of hand.

Sanzo felt his pants undone; but for the love of Buddha he did not care, he just pulled away from the kiss just enough to take air into his lungs. Sanzo looked him in the eyes and saw pure lust and desire. He does not have to look in a mirror to know he is the same way.

"Sanzo, I…Damn" Gojyo went silent; he was at a loss for words, so instead he lets his actions speak for him. He grabbed the hem of Sanzo's black form fitting leather turtleneck, pulling it up and over his head. He did not need to tell or lift Sanzo's arms because he done it himself, allowing it to come off effortlessly.

He then pushed Sanzo down onto the bed.

Not expecting that, Sanzo glared up at Gojyo, after he landed on his back with a thud.

"Sorry…" Is the only thing the redhead said before his fingers grasped the waistband of both Sanzo's pants and boxers. Taking them down and off in one fluid movement.

Voice husky and eyes glazed he asked, "Can you move to the middle of the bed?"

Hesitant at first, he just stayed there until Gojyo gave a gentle smile despite the lust-filled state. That calmed him just enough that he complied.

Gojyo, still being fully dressed stood at the end of the bed.

'Bloody hell, Sanzo' beautiful' he cannot help but look intently.

Sanzo, despite the scars is physically stunning.

Starting from the top, he has sun-kissed blonde hair that Gojyo is dying to run his fingers through. He has a face that can only be that of an angel. Sculpted eyebrows; leading to long eyelashes hooding rare, but none the more beautiful violet-gems. Lips, when not spitting out hard commands and death threats, are very much soft to the touch. 'Which, I found out not to long ago.' Moving on, to a pale slender neck, which lead to a slim but not to muscular body. Not to broad, shoulders that show the way to well defined arms, 'No wonder he hits so damn hard with that paper fan.' An also, not to broad chest, with small pink nipples that accent his porcelain skin. Going down to sculpted abs, and flat stomach, his eyes travelled to a slim waist and narrow hips. Stopping at blonde hair at the base of a very well endowed cock, 'Damn.' Pulling his eyes away, he goes to long lean legs that to him seem ta run forever.

Sanzo's eyes are closed; he can feel his body growing hot under Gojyo's stare. 'God damn it, that perverted kappa, quit staring at me.' He opened his eyes to Gojyo taking the last bit of clothing off.

Now naked, Sanzo can only look at Gojyo's cock his eyes going wide.

'No fucking way is that going anywhere near me.' Taking his eyes away, he looked at his face Gojyo was smiling.

"Don't worry, just relax" he can tell Sanzo tensed up again when he saw his package. So, going slowly he made his way on the bed and on top of Sanzo, just hovering giving him time to get used to having someone over him.

"Relax…yeah that'll happen," he said, glaring up at him as if he were stupid.

'Okay, so I'll help you then,' the redhead lowered his head until his lips encountered Sanzo. Gently he coaxed his mouth open with little nips and licks. All the while his body never fully touching Sanzo' own.

Sanzo cannot help but moan, as he parted his mouth just wide enough to let that talented tongue enter.

'Why are you being so gentle?' he wondered. His eyes closing when he felt Gojyo's hands exploring his body.

Lips never parting he gasped when his nipples are pinched and rubbed. Not knowing what to do with his hands, Sanzo just gripped the sheets, fisting them tightly.

Twisting them gently, Gojyo broke the kiss focusing on Sanzo's now erect nubs.

He kissed his way down to the monk's right nipple, taking it gently between his teeth and lips. He pulled and rolled the bud between his teeth, before he started to suck lightly. The twin was not left alone, as he started to tweak it with his right hand.

Sanzo is squirming now, his hands flying to Gojyo's shoulders gripping them tightly.

Soft noises; sounds you would bet your life you would never hear from him, are coming out of his mouth.

'Who knew that Sanzo had such sensitive nipples?' Gojyo thought as he pulled himself away to go back to those soft lips.

Sanzo's grip loosens, leaving half-moons on the bronzed shoulders.

"Why are you doing this?" his voice was soft and silky, when they parted again.

"Why? Because, you seem to need a distraction from the rain, and from your thoughts." Gojyo said breathing a little heavy.

Even though it started out that way it changed to something more, but he is not going to tell Sanzo that. 'Cause even if he did open his mouth, he wouldn't know what to say, on how this changed.

"A distraction, tch, you're fucking doing this just to distract me." A hard violent edge was back in Sanzo's voice, he could not believe what he just heard.

"Get the hell off me you bastard." He pushed Gojyo off violently, and tried to get off the bed.

Sanzo was at the edge about to get up, when he was grabbed from behind and held in a tight embrace.

"Sanzo, wait please just listen for a moment," he asked, his grip easing so he can turn the irate monk around.

He was not going to say anything but, it seemed he had no choice. "Look ok yes, it started out that way but it changed."

"Yeah, it changed alright because it's not about me anymore. It's about you getting laid." Sanzo said through gritted teeth, still struggling to get free.

"If you wanted a quick fuck, go to a bar like you always do and find a whore." He said, venomously.

"Damn it, man it's not like that," Gojyo said, defensively.

"Well then enlighten me,"

"What has changed?" was Sanzo' sarcastic reply.

"Fuck, I don't know, it's just more now. I can't describe this feeling, I never felt this way before." He said honestly, running a hand through his crimson hair.

He dropped his hand leaning forward, and kissed Sanzo again this time slower, gentler.

Gojyo was trying to show Sanzo that he is serious; that this was not just for a distraction, or a lay.

Sanzo felt himself lowered back down on the bed, so he just gave up. He stopped trying to struggle and just went limp, letting his eyes travel to the open window.

It seemed that it was still raining out, 'so you're still crying.'

Lips locked to Sanzo, Gojyo can feel the change in him.

'He stopped struggling? Worse he went limp, he's not moving at all.'

Concerned, he pulled away a little breaking the kiss. He gave a small gasp, when he saw Sanzo's blank stare towards the window.

"Sanzo…Sanzo please look at me?" he asked, voice soft and pleading.

"Sanzo please look at me; tell me that this is ok? Tell me that you want this, and I'm not forcing you?"

The monk noted the worry in Gojyo's voice, so he looked at him.

Looking into blood-red eyes, he can see that the concern was genuine.

For some time they kept silent, just looked at each other.

Red eyes locked on purple ones, all of their emotions pouring into their stares.

Sanzo was the one that made the first move. He reached up grasping Gojyo's face with both hands, pulled him down and kissed him.

His tongue snaked its way into Gojyo's mouth for a deep but tentative kiss.

The kiss lasted for some time, before they had to part so they could breathe precious air into their lungs.

Gojyo found that he was speechless; he can only think of how lucky he was that Sanzo was giving him this chance.

He reached out putting a hand through Sanzo's hair, enjoying the softness as his fingers ran through it.

Once again, Sanzo found that his cheeks were growing hot, under the gentleness.

His eyes fluttered closed, when Gojyo's hand leaves his hair and caress his cheek.

Travelling from Sanzo's cheek, to his jaw then making his way down his pale slender neck, he watched. He watched as his eyes fluttered, lips parted and a small gasp leave those kiss swollen lips.

Keeping his eyes on Sanzo's face, his hand continued its trek, down his chest ghosting over a nipple. Fingers dancing over the monk's skin, he made his way down to his final destination. Warm fingers wrapped around the base of Sanzo's newly engorged cock.

Starting slow with up and down movements, he let his thumb brush over the slit spreading the pre-cum that was gathering there.

Gojyo went with that for some time, still keeping his eyes on him. Watching. He watched every facial twitch that came from pleasure, when he added twisting movements to his repertoire.

He sped up, just a little.

Breathe hitching, Sanzo reached up one hand going to the kappa's shoulder, while the other threaded its way through blood-red hair.

He moaned.

Never feeling this way before, he felt a little guilty for not knowing how to return the pleasure the half-breed was giving him.

Biting his bottom lip to keep from crying out, Sanzo does the first thing that came to him. He brought Gojyo down to him placing butterfly kisses on his neck and shoulders.

Pulling away long enough to see if his ministrations is appreciated, he smiled when a grunt of disappointment came from Gojyo at the sudden loss.

"Sanzo don't…don't stop." Gojyo said, shuddering.

He does not know how much longer he can hold out.

Sanzo is just way too beautiful and responsive for his own good.

Nevertheless, he will not rush things just because he cannot hold his arousal at bay. This is not about his pleasure it is about Sanzo. He wanted the first time for Sanzo to be pleasurable not painful.

Changing positions a little, he moved down Sanzo's lithe body so he can once again play with those sensitized nipples.

Loving the sounds that came from the monk, he thought.

'I can't wait to see his reaction when I take him in my mouth.' He mused, smiling around the nipple he had in his mouth.

"Goj…Gojyo" the monk breathed, finding his hands back in his hair. This is too much, Sanzo never felt like this before.

The violet-eyed beauty found that he could not make up his mind, on whether or not to let this happen or push Gojyo away before it gets too far. His mind was screaming for him to end this, and push the half-breed away. While, his body wanted this to continue, wanting whatever Gojyo had to offer.

Looking up but not stopping what he was doing, Gojyo can see the conflict that was showing on his lovers face.

That made him stop, he moved back up so he was eye to eye with Sanzo.

"Hey Sanzo, are you sure you want to go on? I can stop if you changed your mind; I don't want you to feel like you have ta do this."

Gojyo watched as Sanzo opened his eyes, he could see the lust, the desire, but also confusion swimming in those gems.

Not answering at first he looked away, the look in Gojyo's eyes just made him even more confused.

Since he did not get an answer, Gojyo concluded that Sanzo did not want this after all. Sighing, he made a move to get off him and leave, but a gentle hand grabbed his wrist stopping him.


Cursing under his breath because his cheeks are again hot Sanzo turned back to Gojyo, the confusion gone from his eyes now because he made up his mind.

Still holding onto Gojyo's wrist, Sanzo sat up. With his other hand, he placed it in the red silk that made up Gojyo's hair.

Pulling Gojyo closer he whispered in his ear, "Gojyo, don't stop. Help me forget my past, even if it is for just this one night."

Moving back, Sanzo looked into his eyes and again saw that look that confused him. However, for now he pushed it out of his mind so he can focus on what this man can give him.

Gojyo does not know what to think when Sanzo pulled him close. However, when he moved to whisper in his ear and the words that came out of his mouth, the only thing he could do was close his eyes. He opened them when he felt Sanzo move away.

The kappa cannot help but feel that his eyes were betraying his true feelings, when he looked at the beautiful man that was sitting before him.

Gojyo's sudden movement forced Sanzo to move back so that he was now fully on the bed again.

Climbing on top of him, Gojyo kissed him once more. Although, he did not stay to long on Sanzo's lips, as he made his way down that pale flesh leaving kisses and licks in his wake.

This time Sanzo did cry out, arching his back when he felt the tip of Gojyo' tongue on the head of his cock. He squirmed fisting the sheets in both hands, twisting them in his movements.

Eyes closing, lips parting, Sanzo pants with want when he felt Gojyo's tongue exploring his length. He started from the head going all the way to the base then back again.

"Fuck…Gojyo…what are you…OH GOD!" He cried out once more when his entire length disappeared into Gojyo's hot moist mouth.

Gojyo gripped his cock feeling the hot flesh pulsate under his touch; he smiled at the reaction he got. Licking his lips, he tasted Sanzo for the first time.

Starting with the tip of his cock, savoring the salty tang that was Sanzo' sex he gently explored his length. Tongue making small circles at the head, then going down the underside running along the thick vein.

Gojyo listened to every gasp, pant, moan and whimper, felt every quiver and drank it all in. Continuing his exploration, his tongue travels back up its length, gliding over the slit before making its way back down ghosting over Sanzo's balls.

He heard Sanzo cry out. Heard him trying to say something, but when he took his entire cock into his mouth another cry came instead. Nose deep in blonde curls, he breathed in the musk of Sanzo' arousal, pulling back he went as far as only leaving the head in his mouth. Tongue swirling over it before going back down.

Starting slow, he tested his gag reflex, before he went in earnest. Seeing that he had control, he held nothing back. Licking, sucking, humming he tried each one by itself to see what got the best response. Once Gojyo had his answer, he started to do combinations of the three.

Feeling Sanzo squirming he placed his left arm over his midsection pinning him down, while his right hand kneaded his balls. Massaging, rolling, squeezing them gently he looked up and saw the most beautiful sight.

Sanzo' eyes were half-lidded, cheeks flushed, and lips parted. His face and body had a gentle radiance, from sweat and the light of the full moon coming in from the open window, kissing his skin in its pale luminous glow. If possible, he looked even more breathtaking at that moment, and their night had only just begun.

There are no words to describe how Sanzo was feeling at that very moment.

His whole body was on fire, burning from the inside out.

The monk's heart was pounding so hard, he would swear Gojyo could hear it.

With his violet-gems half open, he watched as Gojyo took him in his mouth repeatedly, tongue grazing his cock each time. Then, when Gojyo started to fondle his balls squeezing and massaging them, Sanzo thought he would die from the pleasure of it all, but he knew that Gojyo was far from finished.

"Gojyo, I…I'm going to come" he said, through gasping breaths.

With that in mind he pulled away, he does not want the night to end so soon. So that meant he had to calm Sanzo down, stop him from coming.

Crawling up between Sanzo's legs, he once again settled above his body, just barely touching him.

"Sanzo…" he breathed.

"Baka, why did you stop?" he asked, as his breathing was starting to level out.

"Why? Well, because I did not want the night to end so early. There is still so much more pleasure to be had," was his straightforward answer, as blood red looked onto violet.

As they talked, Gojyo was stroking Sanzo down his right side, with feather light touches to calm him from climaxing so soon.

Once he was sure that Sanzo had indeed calmed, he started his exploration again.

Gojyo first laid a kiss, on the crimson chakra upon Sanzo's forehead.

He then moved to his mouth, kissing him passionately, before he tilted Sanzo's head to the side and kissed along his throat just under his ear.

Sanzo gasped, it would seem Gojyo found one of his erogenous zones.

As he continued to attack that new found spot his left hand travelled up his side going down his right arm, until his fingers intertwined with Sanzo'.

Sanzo again found himself squirming; who knew that just below his ear could be so sensitive?

"Gojyo what are you doing?" he asked through moans, when he felt his hand being lifted over his head and held there.

"Shh, just trust me ok? I swear I won't do anything you will not like." Gojyo answered with a whisper, as he grabbed his left hand and joined it with the other keeping them there.

Despite what he said, Sanzo cannot help but feel some anxiety when both his hands were immobilized above his head. 'Trust me, he says? Fuck, the kappa should know by now that that is something I do not give that often. Hell, it borders on never.'

He was about to voice his discomfort when he felt a light kiss being placed on his collarbone. Sanzo then felt Gojyo placing both his wrists into one of his hands, so he could free the other. Once freed, he used it to caress down his lovers side however, he did not stop there as that hand kept going. Past his waist and hip, dancing over the outside of his thigh to where his leg bends, then he proceeds to do just that. He lifted up his leg so it bent at the knee. All the while, he continued to kiss his collarbone, making his way across to the other before kissing his way down between his pectoral muscles. Down his abdomen to his navel where he stops, he looked up to see Sanzo staring at him through lidded eyes. Smiling he lowered his head and out of nowhere his tongue darts out and licks a path around the navel before the tip thrusts in causing Sanzo to hiss as his back arches.

"Ahh," Sanzo's violet orbs close completely then, squeezing them tight as his hands finds their way to the headboard grasping it with both hands.

Gojyo saw Sanzo grip the headboard with white knuckles, so he figured that it was safe to free his other hand and not have to worry about him trying to stop him and get away. Therefore, he let go, his fingers unwrapped around those surprisingly small delicate wrists.

As the hand travelled the same path as the first and then bent the other leg, he whispered one request frequently, "Trust me."

Once settled between Sanzo's now bent legs, (even though he knew Sanzo would not see with his eyes closed) Gojyo smiled gently before lowering his head and placing small kisses here and there on his stomach. Sliding further down, his attention was now on Sanzo's left hip kissing and biting it gently. He wanted to tease Sanzo a little, so he put all of his efforts, his concentration everywhere except the one place he knew Sanzo would want his mouth again the most. Hence, here he was kissing, biting, and suckling on his left hip putting all of his lingual arts into it. Then, Gojyo moved his mouth to his inner thigh his tongue travelling its length stopping long enough to kiss the underside of his knee. He was rewarded with a soft whimper and hitching of the breath. Continuing, his tongue went down the rest of the leg leaving a chaste kiss on the monk's foot before switching and making his way back up the other in the same fashion, ending with a kiss onto his right hip.

"Gojyo, you god damn perverted bastard. Quit teasing me or I swear you'll find yourself torn a new one in the morning, damn it." Even though, he said that and despite the fact that, his cock is twitching at a painful degree. Sanzo is actually enjoying this delicious torture, but he would never say it to Gojyo not even if his life depended on it.

Sanzo lets go of the headboard opening his violet-eyes, he looks down to where Gojyo is between his legs only to find the bastard smirking up at him 'fucking prick' Sanzo thought.

"You're not going to do anything, because I know that you like every little thing that I'm doing to you Sanzo," Gojyo said, with a cocky grin.

"Urusai baka, who said I liked this?" Sanzo murmured as his face turned eight shades of red. He averted his gaze to the ceiling, not wanting to look at Gojyo anymore. 'Cause he knows that Gojyo will still have that 'I-know-for-a-fact-that-you-like-it-because-you're-blushing' grin on his face.

Nevertheless, before he knew it Sanzo had a curtain of red silk brushing against his cheeks and a pair of blood-red eyes looking down at him. "Look I'm sorry okay angel; I just wanted to tease you a little. But you did find pleasure in it didn't you, Sanzo?" Gojyo voiced, not even catching the fact that he just called Sanzo 'angel'.

However, Sanzo did catch it as his eyes started to blink repeatedly, and his mouth kept opening and closing without producing any sound whatsoever.

Sanzo's being pinned down with Gojyo's stare, as his mind raced to come up with a reason for what he just heard or thought he heard. 'Did I just hear what I thought I did? Did Gojyo just call me angel? He's called me many things but 'angel'. No, no I was just hearing things. I mean look at the clueless bastard he has no recognition of saying it or he would try to take it back, say he didn't mean it. So he didn't say it, it's just this fucking rain that's making my ears play tricks on me. Yes, that's it just the rain. On the other hand, did Gojyo say it but was just a slip of the tongue? Damn it, how am I supposing ta respond to that; or maybe I should keep my mouth shut?' Sanzo wanted to look away from those red eyes; he wanted to look out the window. Yet, he had a veil of bloody red hair blocking his view of his safe haven, so he closed his eyes instead.

Gojyo was looking down at Sanzo waiting for a response to his question, but all he was receiving is silence and a blank stare. Sanzo was also wearing a face of confusion again, 'is he shutting down again; did I say or do something wrong?' Gojyo kept looking at him trying to find out what was wrong, when a tinge of panic washed over him. Sanzo was trying to look away out the window, but when he could not he closed his eyes instead.

"Sanzo are you okay; did I do something wrong?" he asked, voice falling to a whisper.

After what felt like eternity Sanzo answered, "I'm fine Gojyo," now that he knows that Gojyo did not say that intentionally, he was able to relax. "You did nothing wrong," he said finally, as he opened his eyes again. Sanzo does not even know why he reacted the way he did. It was just a word, nothing more.

"That's good," was all Gojyo said as his mouth came down on Sanzo's again.

They parted for air when their lungs could not take anymore. Breathing heavily Gojyo started to look around for his pants, where he always kept a small bottle of lubrication on hand. Finding it crumbled up on the floor in the corner of the room, he then looked back down to Sanzo.

"I'll be right back, I just have to get something," Gojyo stated, as he started to move off Sanzo.

Sanzo looked back at him confused, 'get something, get what?' he thought, but as he kept watching looking at where Gojyo went and then seeing what he picked up, he thought that Gojyo was going somewhere until he saw him reach for something in his pockets.

His violet-gems narrowed then widened, when he saw the unmistakable bottle. All of a sudden, Sanzo did not think he wanted to do this. Seeing that bottle just confirmed what they were about to do, and now it seemed all too real. He can feel himself losing his erection, once he laid eyes on that bottle all of his excitement, his lust, and his desire left him replaced only by fear, and anxiety.

Gojyo threw his pants back in the corner once he had the lubrication in his hands. He turned making his way back to the bed, not noticing Sanzo's apprehension at least not until he saw Sanzo's wide eyes, eyeing the item in his hand. He then noticed that Sanzo has most definitely lost his mood and his nerve.

Even though he knows, it is stupid; Sanzo throws the blanket that is on the bed over him, suddenly feeling self-conscious about the state of his undress.

Still eyeing the bottle in Gojyo's hands, he watches as he sets it down on the nightstand. He then looks on as the redhead sits down on the bed next to him, still fully aroused. This is not surprising since he has done this many a times before.

"Sanzo, I know that you're scared, but I promise you that I will make this as painless as possible. I can't guarantee that this won't hurt because it will; I'm not going to lie to you. However, I swear I will go slow and gentle, and I give you my word that I'll stop at any moment you tell me to if you get too uncomfortable and you don't want to continue. This night isn't about me it's about you and your pleasure."

Moments have passed with Sanzo not moving, blinking, or even speaking, so Gojyo thought that maybe he realized he was not ready for this. Or so he theorized as he then watched Sanzo push back the blanket to re-uncover his naked form.

"Are you sure Sanzo?" he asked, as he looked deep in his eyes to find any clue as to his thoughts.

Closing his eyes then opening them again he answered, "Yeah, I'm sure."

Gojyo smiled softly as he leaned down and kissed him once more.

Gojyo's hand travelled back down to Sanzo' now flaccid member to reawaken his arousal with slow deliberate strokes as the kiss continued. He then watched as those piercing eyes darkened again with desire, and those sinful lips part from his with a gasp. He felt Sanzo's manhood start to grow and throb in his hands with each stroke. Once he was content, his violet-eyed lover was back to full arousal he let go, reaching for the bottle on the nightstand, but never taking his eyes away from his.

"Sanzo can you part then bend your legs?" he asked, "Yeah that's it, just like that." He said, as he maneuvered back between his legs and uncapped the bottle. "Now just try and relax as much as possible okay?"

At first Sanzo watched as he poured a generous amount onto his fingers then rubbed them together as to warm the liquid. However, his eyes soon closed as he saw Gojyo reach down between his legs and felt one of those now moist digits probing his most sacred area. He tried hard to relax as he said, but no matter how much he willed his body to do so he just couldn't. Luckily, Gojyo sensed this and stopped before he went any further, knowing that he would most definitely hurt him if he doesn't help him relax first.

Instead of the pain, he thought he would feel he was surprised when he felt soft kisses on his stomach and a soothing caress going down his left side. It would seem that Gojyo was trying to help him relax, and he appreciated it.

As this continued a little while longer, he could feel himself starting to calm down. Nevertheless, it seemed that Gojyo wanted him even more so, as he continued his way down his stomach to his cock, which now was begging for attention.

Using the hand that was slick with lubricant, Gojyo wrapped his fingers around the base while he took the rest in his mouth. Pumping Sanzo's cock while he suckles it, he can hear the monk's cries and whimpers of pleasure.

As to be expected, it is having a painful effect on Gojyo as he is starting to feel the ramifications of his own neglected arousal. Therefore, as to rectify this problem, he reaches down between his legs with his other hand grabbing his cock and giving a few strokes, not wanting to come so much as to ease the pressure.

As he was doing this, he was humming his own pleasure that in turn caused Sanzo to arch his back and cry out from the sudden stimulation, to his already sensitized cock.

Moving his hand away from his member he used the pre-cum that coated his fingers to prepare Sanzo for entry. Spreading Sanzo a little more and then lifting his left leg putting it over his shoulder, he probed his entrance with small caresses. Gojyo circled the now puckered opening with slicked digits until he pushed in one finger gently past the first ring of muscles stopping his thrust once he was two knuckles deep. All the while, he never stopped pleasuring him with his mouth and other hand.

Even though Sanzo was serviced with Gojyo' mouth and hand, when he felt Gojyo thrusting in a finger it did not stop him as he hissed and jerked his hips as if to get away from that unpleasant feeling. It did not matter that Gojyo was gentle as he did it, nor did it matter that he stopped at a particular point. It still hurt. It stung at first until he felt said finger starting to move. At first, it was just in and out movements, always done slowly and stopping at the second knuckle. Until one point when he pushed all the way, but only when he knew Sanzo could take it. Then he started to use circular movements inside him, touching the rubbery feel of the walls in his inner cavern. That was when Sanzo started to relax again, when he finally got used to having Gojyo's finger in him.

That is until he felt an even more stinging sensation.

Gojyo had pulled out his finger, only to this time thrust two in at the same time.

Sanzo bit his bottom lip, hard enough to draw blood, "S-Stop" his voice was almost inaudible when he said this, as tears started to fill he eyes. "Ungh"

Gojyo stopped all movements then when he heard Sanzo's plea, his fingers buried deep inside the monk's tight embracing heat. He then pulled away his mouth from Sanzo' cock, but kept his fingers wrapped around it. He looked up, saw those gems shut tightly but he also saw the wetness that dampened those long eyelashes.

"Sanzo…?" his voice was soft and filled with concern.

Sanzo didn't answer right away; he was still trying to get over the initial pain of being stretched for the first time.

"Sanzo do you want me ta stop?" his eyes were fixed on that angelic face.

Sanzo opened his eyes revealing the unshed tears, he answered, "I'm fine Gojyo, I was just surprised. You can continue."

The kappa couldn't help but smile, it was just like Sanzo to not admit that he's hurting.

Leaning forward he covered Sanzo's mouth with his licking the blood there as he slowly ever so slowly started to move his fingers. Flexing, wiggling, and scissoring them he concentrated on stretching him first before anything else. Once he knew Sanzo was properly prepared he then and only then started to pleasure him. Looking for that one spot he knows will make Sanzo scream.

Sanzo has his eyes shut tight, trying very hard not to cry out his pain. 'God, this hurts.' Keeping as still as possible he takes his mind off the feeling of being torn in two trying to think of something, anything but this. That is until he felt something like electricity run through him when Gojyo's fingers brushed up against his prostate.

Eyes shooting open, back arching off the bed Sanzo cried out his pleasure.

Gojyo brushes over that spot again earning him the same response.

Sanzo's hands fly to those bronzed shoulders gripping them tightly as his prostate is repeatedly attacked.

"Gojyo, wh-what are you doing to me?" he gasped, as his head falls to the side.

"Making you feel good, what else."

"Sanzo I know you were in pain and were just trying to hide it, so I am showing you that there is also pleasure in what I'm doing. Not just pain."

Moments later, Gojyo removed his fingers, then put Sanzo's leg back down but kept them parted. Sitting up he searched for the bottle of lubricant once more. He spots it by the bed on the floor so he reaches down and picks it up.

"Stay just like that okay, nice and relaxed. Don't tense up." He told Sanzo, as he then poured more of the liquid into the palm of his hand.

Hissing at the sensitivity of his member, he then spreads the cool liquid onto it. 'Damn this shit's cold' he thought pulling his hand away, then positioning his body between Sanzo's bent legs.

Placing one hand beside Sanzo on the bed, he leaned forward looking in those gems for his sign to continue.

Sanzo looks into blood-red eyes knowing what the silent question is. He nods giving his consent to continue. He then braces himself for what he knows will be excruciating pain.

His thought was all too true as the head of Gojyo's cock pushes past the first ring of muscles causing Sanzo to scream his anguish, as he had never felt anything so painful in his life. And, that is saying something considering everything he has been through in his twenty-three years of living.

"Gods, Gojyo p-please st-stop. I can't. It hurts." Sanzo pleads as the unshed tears now start to flow freely, staining his porcelain cheeks.

"I'm sorry angel. I'm so sorry." Gojyo whispered, closing the gap between them, and capturing Sanzo's mouth for a tender kiss. He stopped his movements to let Sanzo adjust to being stretched so wide to accommodate him.

'It's only going to get worse before it gets better.' Even though Gojyo knows this to be true, he wishes for Sanzo to just feel pleasure and not the pain that comes before it.

To hear Sanzo scream and to see those tears and know that he is the cause of it, hurts Gojyo so much.

In that instant, he finally knows what he's been feeling towards Sanzo this whole time.


Gojyo is in love with this man. He breaks the kiss to look at the man beneath him. 'When did I fall in love with Sanzo?' but before he could delve any deeper he's brought out of his musings to Sanzo's soft voice.

"Gojyo you can move now. I'm okay." Sanzo said, starting to be a little hoarse from his earlier screams.

"Are you sure, Sanzo?" the gentle nod of his head answers Gojyo's question. So moving slow and steady, he thrust deeper stopping once he was fully sheathed in that unyieldingly tight embrace.

To Sanzo' part he did not scream as he did before, no, he just gritted his teeth and grunted here and there when the pain was unbearable. The tears however he could not stop from shedding. He's grateful when Gojyo stopped, giving him more time to let the pain dissipate and get used to the sensation of having someone inside of him.

Gojyo on the other hand, feels like he's being tortured. Eyes shut, biting his lower lip it is taking everything in him to not move, not thrust hard and fast into Sanzo.

'No, I will not move. I will not hurt Sanzo unnecessarily.' Therefore, he waits; he waits for his violet-eyed lover to give the word to move.

He opens his eyes to the sight of Sanzo's tears. Wanting to stop them, he moves to an elbow so he could kiss them away inadvertently changing the angle, causing him to penetrate deeper into Sanzo.

Sanzo gasped but nothing more as he felt Gojyo's cock move deeper into him.

"I'm sorry, Sanzo. I didn't mean to." He heard the gasp and only hoped that he did not hurt him even more.

"Its fine, it only hurt a little." As he was saying this, he started to wiggle his hips testing his readiness. He really had to give Gojyo credit for being so patient with him. All the same, it would seem the waiting paid off, as the pain was now only a dull ache.

He was ready.

He knows the pain will come back, but he also knows that at some point it will change to pleasure.

Sanzo stopped the movement of his hips looking up into blood-red eyes. "Gojyo I think…I think, I'm ready now." A light blush came to his cheeks as he watched a beautiful smile come onto Gojyo's face.

Gojyo claimed Sanzo's lips in a passionate kiss as he slowly pulled out leaving only the head of his cock in that beautifully tight passage. He paused in his movements when he heard a muffled wince, but when Sanzo wrapped his arms around him and pulled him closer he knew that he was all right.

Never breaking the kiss Gojyo thrust his hips forward setting the pace at a slow but steady rhythm.

Sanzo did feel pain at first but as Gojyo continued to move, his hips thrusting deeper and deeper he felt his cock brush up against his sweet spot. That caused the pain to leave and in its place was a wave of absolute pleasure.

Gojyo knew he had hit Sanzo's prostate when he broke the kiss arching his back off the bed, and let out a sex cry so beautiful, that Gojyo thought he might lose it. 'Gods does Sanzo know how sexy he sounds?'

Nails tearing into Gojyo's shoulders, Sanzo wrapped his legs around his waist pulling him even closer to his body wanting him to hit that spot again.

Gojyo did not disappoint as he angled his thrusts so he hit his prostate every time.

Sanzo's close and Gojyo knows it, as he too is not far from release. Wanting to come together Gojyo lifts up his body so he could reach a hand between them. Grabbing the monk's throbbing cock, he starts to stroke him in time with his thrusts. Which by then was faster and a little harder as their passion grew.

"Fuck" Sanzo cries as the duel stimulation was becoming too much. First Gojyo starts thrusting into him hard and fast hitting that bundle of nerves every time and now this.

Bodies gleaming, hearts pounding Sanzo screams his release coming onto Gojyo's hand and onto his chest and stomach. The force of Sanzo' release 'cause Gojyo to come as well as the walls clamp down around his cock squeezing him mercilessly.

Breathing heavily Gojyo collapses onto Sanzo whispering the words "I love you" as his eyes close enjoying the remnants of his climax.

Moments passed in silence then:

"What did you say?" Sanzo asked, as his breathing was finally under control. He did not catch those whispered words, as the only thing he could hear was their heavy breathing and the sound of their hearts beating.

"I said that I…" Gojyo stops himself realizing what he said and what he was about to say again. "I…I said that, I hoped I didn't hurt you too much." It was a lie but he could not repeat what he truly said, not if he wanted to live.

"Oh, no you didn't. Now get off me you're heavy, damn it." Sanzo said, as he started pushing on his shoulders.

"Geez, how romantic of you, Sanzo," he said laughing, but he did just that. He pulled out of Sanzo slowly, and then rolled beside him. He laid there for a while not saying a word, just listened to Sanzo's breathing. He was relieved that Sanzo was okay and that he did not hear his little confession. Just thinking of the fact that he said those words aloud made him blush as red as his hair.

Sighing, he pulled himself up and out of bed not even looking back at Sanzo or even trying to get dressed as he headed for the bathroom to get a wet cloth to wipe down both Sanzo and himself.

On the way back to the bed he stopped long enough to grab their cigarettes, knowing Sanzo would want one because he sure as hell did. However, as he reached the bed he stops in his tracks, because his eyes fall upon Sanzo' sleeping form. His facial expression was peacefully serene. Gojyo stood there for a while just watching him. Watching the way his chest slowly rose and fell, and the slight twitching of his fingers. 'God Sanzo could you get anymore breathtaking?'

Smiling he put the cigarettes down on the nightstand, slowly sitting back on the bed. Making sure not to wake him, he gently started to clean off Sanzo. Once finished he cleans himself, then lays back down pulling the blanket over their naked bodies.

Eyes travelling to the open window he notes that the rain had stopped some time during the night. "I guess I accomplished my task of distracting you." He thought, as he snuggled closer to Sanzo whispering those words one last time before sleep takes him as well.

"I love you."

Meanwhile down stairs in the lobby:

"Hey, Hakkai what's taking Gojyo and Sanzo so long?" Goku asked.


Authors Notes: So this is the end of my Saiyuki one-shot maybe?! It is my very first time writing something like this, for I always read yaoi. So now you have a glimpse into my very perverted mind (blushes). As you can see I ended it in a way that if you what I could write another chapter all I ask is that everyone that read this please review! I cannot stress that enough. Please let me know if it is to a YAOI LOVERS LIKING! (I am writing next chap. now, so look out for it)