Narrator: Hello and welcome to the Animorph One Minute Show. Today's lesson is on 'saying your sorry.'
Dr. Phil: Okay, boys and girls, today we have with us two very special friends, Esplin 9466 and Angry Elfie Shamrock Cearial.
ELFANGOR SIRINUL SHAMTUL: Actually, my name is pronounced Elfangor Sirinul Shamtul, and I am not friends with the abomination.
Dr. Phil: Right. Well, the viewers at home may have trouble with saying your name, so...
VISSER THREE: HA HA HA HA HA! They're gonna call you Elfie! Take that Andalite scuzz! A pathetic name for a pathetic fool! HA HA HA HA!
ELFANGOR: Scuzz? What is that?
VISSER THREE: IT'S WHAT YOU ARE.
ELFANGOR:...ESPLIN is a filthy name for a Yeerk scum!
VISSER THREE: You wanna say that to my face?
Dr. Phil: Wait! Wait! Stop those hurtful words. You two are tearing your friendship apart!
ELFANGOR/VISSER THREE: WE ARE NOT friends!
ELFANGOR: We never were.
Dr. Phil: I see there is a lot of tension between the two of you, but if you would just communicate your feelings...
VISSER THREE: I hate you.
ELFANGOR: I despise you.
VISSER THREE: You make me want to hurl, and I'm not even sure what that means.
Dr. Phil: NO! That is not what I meant. Elfangor, you strike me as being the, uh, slightly more rational one, so if you could.
ELFANGOR: Thank you. We Andalites are renown for our rational minds. As well as our ability to think quickly, stay calm under pressure, our generousity, our understanding, and our modesty.
VISSER THREE: Yeah, right. (rolls stalk-eyes)
Dr. Phil: I see. Can you tell me about these, uh... Yeerks.
ELFANGOR: Well, I'd like to, but I learned from Loren that if you can't say anything good, you should refrain from saying anything at all.
Dr. Phil: (eyes widen) What about everything you said earlier?
ELFANGOR:... I...um...I apologize.
Dr. Phil: Excellent! Excellent! You said you were sorry, that is just wonderful Elfangor, I am very proud of you. It takes a strong individual to make the first step to repairing a broken friendship.
ELFANGOR: I did apologize for speaking harshly, but I can never be friends with that abomina- that person.
Dr. Phil: Why?
ELFANGOR: What do you mean, why?! He morphed into a monster and ate me!
Dr. Phil: I see. Well, one step at a time, I suppose. Esplin, is there anything you would like to say to Elfangor?
VISSER THREE: NOPE, I THINK I'VE SAID IT ALL. AND IT'S VISSER THREE TO YOU, BECAUSE YOU ARE A PITIFUL, PATHETIC HUMAN. THAT IS WHY WE WILL TAKE OVER YOUR PLANET. IF IT WERE UP TO ME WE WOULD HAVE ALREADY CAPTURED THIS DIMWITTED, SIMPLE MINDED SPECIES. ALL HUMANS ARE WEAK!
Some guy in the studio audience, "What did he say?"
A lady sitting in the back, "That was uncalled for."
(THE AUDIENCE STARTS MAKING LOUD "BOO" SOUNDS AND GESTURES.)
Random kid sitting front row, "What a jeerk. Let's jump him after the show!"
everyone: YEAH! Go Humans!
(STUDIO AUDIENCE RUSHES OUT OF THEIR SEATS AND PELTS VISSER THREE WITH LUCKY CHARMS CERIAL)
VISSER THREE: Ahhhhh! The marshmellows. One alone does nothing, but joined forces with the nutritional pieces of wheat and they are a force to be reconed with. Ahhhh! The irony!
ELFANGOR: Why do you mock me!? Why?!
Dr. Phil: Erm, well, close enough, we're out of time anyways...