The Many Failures of Edward Cullen

Disclaimer: If I owned The Twilight Saga...Lots of cool stuff would happen in my life. But I don't I'm not that talented.

Summery: Edward Cullen is even perfect at being imperfect! Couple of one shots on Edward's failures that you don't get to read about.

This story takes place during Breaking Dawn ( You will know once you read)


Edward's P.O.V

I was nerves. The wedding went as perfect as I had imagined but now was the scary part, The honeymoon. If I told you I was excited and ready I would be lying. Big Time. I had no clue what or how I was going to pull this off. I had no one to help me and no research as well. Vampire/Human sexual intercourse was never researched. But if there is one things that I know for a fact is that Bella cannot get pregnant. At least with me anyway. This relived me yet made me sad all at the same time. Would I like kids in the future yes do I want them now NO! All I want is Bella and her happiness and so I would have to fulfill the agreement. I was doomed!

We got to the Island and Bella was thrilled. I saw hunger in her eyes and it scared me. I wonder if that is how I look when I get thirsty? I pondered the thought and carried her inside the house. Could I do this was I really going to risk hurting her. Yes I had to it was part of the deal and its what she wants no needs at this point. I'll have to do it soon or else I might chicken out. I kissed her deeply and started.

A.N ( HE HE I pulled a Stephine Meyer and didn't write a sex scene! No lemon for you.) Please continue reading

I woke up the next morning looking like mother goose. There were feathers everywhere I was terrified. I must have hurt her. What if I ate her by accident! What if she is dead! What if...

No I couldn't have I couldn't have been so stupid to forget one of the most important safety measures just in case the research was wrong or once again Bella was special. No I couldn't have...lets hope not anyways.

I few weeks later Bella was feeling sick and came up to me and said "I' m late."

" Late for what love." I asked stupidly

" My period it was supposed to start 1 week ago and I am never late." she stated explaining


I knew I must have looked like I was about to die because at that moment the night came flooding back to me. After all of my research and planing I forget the most important thing. For heavens sake I am a dumb ass. I FORGOT THE CONDOM!


I guess vampires can get someone pregnant after all. Oh who am I kidding Damn it Bella why did you have to be so damn special.

Well thats it. I don't understand how Bella can have her period and Edward doesn't try to eat her. As well how in the hell can she get pregnant but whatever. Whats done is done and now we can all make fun of it. Edward must have felt like an idiot when she said that she was going to have a baby. More to come! Jacob and Nessie guess star in the next chapter. ;D