Diamond City Contra

A Wario and Waluigi story

By Gustauve Drakenhime III

Author's Notes: Hello everyone, this story represents my very first actual fan fiction. And as such, I would like feedback on how I can make any improvements.

The Plot: Diamond City is in turmoil. Several criminal organizations have waged an all out war against each other. Havoc plays out in the streets, as the warring factions fight for supremacy. Two souls decide that enough is enough, and they plan to do something about it. Using Guerilla Warfare tactics and whatever resources they can find, they fight for their own side. The seeds of resistance have been planted…

And so, without further delay, I present for your reading pleasure – Diamond City Contra

Chapter One: The Bike

"… Authorities are still unable to stop the so-called 'Diamond City Civil War'. Today marks the second anniversary of the conflict

that started when several groups that the –", "Wario…" "– had labeled as criminally involved organizations, declared an all out war

on one another over an unknown –","Wario!" "–It is estimated that approximately four thousand innocent lives have been

claimed by the conflict thus far, and many more are –","God damnit, Wario, turn the damned radio off; it's so depressing." "–it

is still advised that all citizens stay inside at all times until this conflict is-"'Click'. "Fine, whatever - it's nothing I haven't heard

before anyways." The owner of this voice was a rather squat, rotund fellow with an uncharacteristically large nose and sunk

in eyes. He wore a tattered denim jacket over a heavily sweat-stained yellow throw-on, and a pair of faded, old denim

overalls. On his head, he wore an old, beat-up construction helmet that could easily imply that he was in some way or

another, in the construction business. His mustache, though unruly and frazzled, was obviously covered in an excessive

amount of dapper, turning it a dark shade of black which was in stark contrast with his dark auburn hair. His name was

Wario Wario. "Well, if it's 'nothing you haven't heard before ', then why bother turning it on in the first place?" The owner of

this very contrite and cynical voice was an unusually tall and gaunt man who, like Wario, also possessed an

uncharacteristically large nose and sunk in eyes. In contrast to Wario's attire, this one wore a snug-fitting black, long-

sleeved body-shirt, with a violet sleeveless tee-shirt over it. Like Wario, this man also wore a pair of work-worn overalls, the

only difference being that this pair was a light shade of black. Atop his head was an old, worn-out purple bandanna as well

as what appeared to be a set of tinted welding-goggles that rested neatly upon his brow. Like Wario, he had a moustache –

but unlike Wario's thick, unkempt one, this moustache was long and thin, and tapered upwards to a fine point. It too, was

covered in copious amounts of dapper, turning it a deep black that, surprisingly, went well with his tawny locks. This man's

name was Waluigi Wario. Collectively they were known as the Wario Brothers – Wario owned a widely known construction

firm, and Waluigi ran a welding shop that, for lack of any competition, was surprisingly successful. Currently, the two of them

were eating breakfast; bacon and eggs. As Wario scarffed down the last remnants of his morning meal, he said in-between

mouthfuls, "So – smack, munch – what're you gonna do – chew, schlup, smack – for the rest of the day?" As Waluigi watched

his brother eat, he couldn't help but roll his eyes at how uncouth the man in front of him truly was. "What do you mean

'what am I gonna do for the rest of the day?' and don't talk with your mouth full, it's disgusting!" At this, Wario grunted,

signifying that he was indeed doing as his brother requested by swallowing said food. With a strained gulp, followed in-part

by a massive belch, he continued. "I mean, what're you gonna do now that the city-wide curfew is indefinite?" Indeed, it was

only last night that officials finally decide to impose a permanent curfew until the current mess was over with and done. "I'm

only ask'n ya because I've got nothin' to do today, seeing as how I can't go to work an all…" 'Sigh, in other-words, he wants

to know where to find me, that way when he gets bored he'll just come and annoy the hell out of me' "Sigh," exclaimed the taller

of the duo, "I don't know – I was thinking that maybe I could finish up on the Bike; now that I've finally gotten around to

fixing it and all." This piqued Wario's interest, "Really?" he asked, "What all d'ya need done, maybe I can help you with it?" "I

don't see why not," replied Waluigi, "after all, it's your bike." With that said and done, the two proceeded towards 'The

workshop', which in all actuality wasn't really a shop – it was more of a garage, if you could call it that even. As they entered

into its confines, Waluigi flicked the light-switch. When nothing happened, he flicked it again, still nothing happened.

"Grahhhh," he cried, "What the hell is wrong with this thing!?" To answer his question, Wario tapped him on the arm, Hey,

um, Walu…" "Eh?" "I, uh, think I found the problem." As he said this, Wario pointed towards the power box next to the

switch; the master control switch clearly showing that it was off. "…Oh… cough-ahem... I knew that." After a small moment of

awkward silence, Wario finally asked, "So, are you gonna turn it on, er what?" "Shut up, okay – I know what I'm doing!"

replied the taller of the two, who, moments later proceeded to turn the power box on. Seconds later, light flooded into the

room; the dull, throbbing hum of the halogen rods soon followed afterwards. The workshop itself wasn't much really – just a

few work benches here and there, on the far side from where they were standing, a table cover by a plethora of various

tools could be seen, the cracked concrete flooring was covered in assorted nuts, bolts, rings and screws of various sizes, as

well as a large amount of dirt. The ceiling was full of cobwebs and loose insulation. To their right was the garage door, in

obvious need of repairs, and to their left was a cubicle with a sign that read 'Bomb-Shop' on the outside facer-board. But

perhaps the most interesting thing in the entire 'shop' was what lie in the center of the room; it was none other than the

Wario Bike, in all its glorious splendor… well, at least that's what Wario thought anyways – to Waluigi, it looked like a

banged up piece o' junk that would make children cry and give geriatrics a heart-attack; not that he didn't enjoy such things

– but the point was that it still needed a lot of work. "Wow," exclaimed Wario, "you got her all fixed up n'everything, didn't

cha?" With a cynical snort, Waluigi replied, "Hardly – the thing looks like an accident on wheels." Ignoring his older brother's

objections to such a notion, he continued, "I still have to fix the transmission, clean the engine up, change the oil, replace

most if not all of the spokes, fix the upholstery, replace the back tire, replace the speedometer, refit the gears, fix the

breaking system, replace the front fender, repair the head light, fix the chain, attach the side car, and then finally give it a

new paint-scheme." "What's wrong with the scheme it's got now?" With a scoff, the younger brother retorted, "In case you

haven't noticed, Wario, it's hideous." "Whaddaya mean 'it's hideous – I like the paint job it's already got!" "Wario, look at it,

that thing was an eye-sore to begin with, now it makes little kids cry!" The verbal battle that ensued soon turned into a fist

fight that lasted about ten or so minutes, resulting in a compromise. "Okay, then it's agreed," said Waluigi, "we'll paint it

violet, but we'll keep the flames." "Right," agreed the older of the two, "so, uh, where do we begin?" "Well, first off, let's get

the right tools for the job…" and with that, they began to work through the day and most of the night until, finally, it was

finished. "I gotta hand it to ya bro, she sure does look good." With an uncharacteristically good-natured laugh, Waluigi

wiped the sweat from his brow and said, "Now there's something that we both can agree on." Indeed, the bike that lay

before them was no longer in any way, shape or form, the 'accident on wheels' they had started on nearly forty hours ago –

but, instead, a very sleek, very couth ride. The polished chrome gave off a dazzling sheen, the leather looked like it had

been made yesterday, the spokes were all straight, the gears were polished, the mirrors were shined, the wheels were

glossed, and everything sparkled and shimmered under the lights. The paint job was also a marked improvement; it's deep,

rich shade of purple, combined with the original schemes' flame-patterned highlights made for such an awe inspiring sight,

that, even Wario had to grudgingly agree that it looked good. But, perhaps the most notable difference was the addition of

a side-car, mounted on the right side of the motorcycle – a symbol was painted on its side, a 'W' with the Greek letter 'Chi'

running down its center; both images correlating with the businesses they ran, other than that, there was nothing special

about the side car aside from the trunk in the back of it. Finally, with a drawn out yawn, Waluigi said, "Well, I'm going to bed

– I'll see you in the morning Wario." With those words he exited the shop and headed upstairs. "G'night." Was all that Wario

said as he to exited the shop, turning once more to admire the Bike, he turned the lights off and headed upstairs. Waluigi

had already fallen asleep, not even bothering to change or even get under the covers. "Heh, dumbass." Was all he said

before he too succumbed to sleep…

This marks the End of Chapter One, any and all feedback - negative or otherwise, is , until next time, may the blessings of the Lord shine upon you wherever you may be.