31Disclaimer: I don't own X-men or Pride and Prejudice, movie. They are owned by Marvel and BBC/A&E.
About 9am X-men mansion
The student all clamor around while trying to get ready for the day. They have been invited to a casual afternoon banquet in their honor in New York City.
"Be ready by 10 or I'm dragging you out ready or not." screams Logan at the teenagers getting ready.
"Ah can' believe that we have tah do this," growls Rogue as she puts on her goth makeup and her signature gloves.
"Oh cheer up Rogue, we're going to, like, totally have a good time," Kitty tells her roommate happily.
Meanwhile at the Acolyte Base the Acolytes and Brotherhood are going through a similar rush as they get ready to meet the person, who is going to help them defeat the X-men.
The night before Magneto informed them that they needed to be ready by 10 so that they could leave or he would sic Sabertooth on them.
At. 11am at an abandoned warehouse in NYC the X-men, thinking that it is a fancy restaurant, and Brotherhood/Acolytes enter from different sides of the building. As soon as everyone enters, the doors lock shut and bright lights come on showing in the middle of the warehouse two very amused women. One has blonde hair and blue eyes and is of average height and build, while the other looks a lot like a female version of Gambit, wears glasses, also has blue eyes, and has hair that looks like a burning fire. Both women are wearing cat-like grins.
"Bonjour (hello) everyone," says the woman with fire-like hair, "I be Jetz LeBeau n' dis be Mercy LeBeau," she gestures to the blonde haired woman next to her, "Bienvenue (welcome) to de set of Pride n' Prejudice. I will list off who be playin' what while Mercy passes out de scripts. D'abord (first) off de role…"
"Excuse me, but what is going on here?" asks the Professor.
"Dat's easy y've all signed onto be apart of de production of Pride n' Prejudice," answers Jetz.
"I'm sorry and when did we do this?" asks the Professor.
"Well for everyone 'cept de Brotherhood, Acolytes n' Bella …," says Jetz.
"Bella be 'ere. Y' didn't say dat she be 'ere," cries out Remy.
"Non I didn' , anyway it be when y' RSVP'd. Y' obviously didn' read de fine print on de individual invitations before y' signed dem."
"Ah told yah Kitty that Ah shouldn' of signed it," Rogue yells at her roommate.
"Well how was I, like, suppose to know that it was, like, a contract in disguise." argues Kitty. Rogue just glares in response.
"As for de rest of y', y' obviously didn' read de fine print at de bottom of de contracts I sent y', well except for Remy n' Bella. I 'ad to blackmail dem into signin'. Does dat answer y'r question." The professor nods. "Bon (good) now I be tellin' y' what part y' be playin'."
"Elizabeth Bennet be played by Rogue."
"Whah are yah kiddin' meh. Ah don' wanna wear any of those stupid dresses."
"Dink about it, dis way she be de only independent dinkin' femme (woman/female) character in de whole movie. It could be worse," whispers Mercy.
"Ah suppose it could be worse, but Ah'm still not happy about it," says Rogue angrily.
"'appiness ain' required just y'r cooperation. Continuin' on Mr. Darcy be played by Remy "Gambit" LeBeau."
"Whah are yah kiddin' meh. Oh this just got worse."
"Remy know dat y' really be heureux (happy) about dis, Cherie."
"In yah dreams, Swamp Rat, an' quit callin' meh Cherie."
"Enough," exclaims Jetz before Remy could reply. "Now as I said before y' don' have a choice in de matter. N' now, Jane Bennet be played by Wanda "Scarlett Witch" Maximoff."
"You're kidding right," Wanda growls as she glares at Jetz and her hands turn blue. Jetz just looks unphased.
"Remy wouldn' do dat petite (little one) mon soeur (my sister) can make y' dream about rainbows n' unicorns for weeks if y' not careful," Remy whispers to Wanda.
Wanda's hands return to normal, but she continues to glare at Jetz. Jetz just continues on as if nothing has happened. "Mr. Bingley be played by John "Pyro" Allerdyce."
"Oh no, it just got worse," Wanda groans
"Now you know that's not true, Shelia."
Wanda proceeds to hex him into a wall screaming, "My name's not Shelia!"
Jetz continues to ingore all of this and says, "Mr. n Mrs. Bennet be…"
"Aren't you going to stop her," says Jean.
Jetz glares at Jean before saying, "Non, now as I be sayin' Mr. n Mrs. Bennet be played by Raven "Mystique" Darkholme n' Logan "Wolverine" Howlett."
"Yah've got tah be kiddin' meh" scream Rogue, Logan and Mystique.
"Non, I not be kiddin' y' n' like I said before y' don' 'ave a choice so please keep y're complaints to y'self or we be 'ere all jour (day)."
"Mary Bennet be played by Jubilation "Jubilee" Lee, Kitty Bennet by Amara "Magma" Aquilla, n' Lydia Bennet by Tabitha "Boom Boom" Smith. Miss Caroline Bingley be Bella Boudreaux." Bella smiles and blows a kiss towards Remy. Rogue starts to glare at her. Remy wants to smirk and make a comment about Rogue's obvious show of jealous but remembers that Jetz doesn't like to be interrupted so thinks better of it.
"Mr. n' Mrs. Hurst be Jean Grey n' Scott "Cyclops" Summers. Charlotte Lucas be Lorna "Polaris" Dane.
"Sir William Lucas be Eric "Magneto" Lehnsherr. Lady Lucas be Archlight. Maria Lucas be Rahne "Wolfsbane" Sinclair. Colonel n' Mrs. Foster be Warren "Angel" Worthington n' Betsy "Psylocke" Braddock. Denny be Lance "Avalanche" Alvers. Sanderson be Sam "Cannonball" Guthrie. Captain Carter be Ray "Berzerker" Crisp. Chamberlyne be Evan "Spyke" Daniels. Mr. Collins be Bobby "Iceman" Drake. Mr. Wickham be Pietro "Quicksilver" Maximoff. Mrs. Phillips be Irene "Destiny" Adler."
"Whah Irene's here too. Oh just great," exclaims Rogue.
"Y' amis ain' goin' to last long if dey keep interruptin' her," whispers Mercy to Remy.
"Remy know"
Jetz just glares at her and continues on, "Miss Mary King be Lexa "X-23". Mr. n' Mrs. Gardiner be Professeur (professor) Charles Xavier n' Ororo "Storm" Munroe. De Gardiner's children be played by Jamie "Mulitple" Madrox, Leech, Torpid, and Sarah "Marrow". Lady Catherine de Bourgh be Emma "White Queen" Frost n' her daughter, Anne de Bourgh, be Danielle "Mirage" Moonstar. Colonel Fitzwilliam be Piotr "Colossus" Rasputin. Miss Georgina Darcy be Kitty "Shadowcat" Pryde. Hill be Callisto. Mrs. Jenkins be Jeanne-Marie "Aurora" Bebaier. Fosset be Roberto "Sunspot" Da Costa. Male servant at restaurant be Fred "Blob" Dukes. Baines be Alex "Havok" Summers. Hannah be Alison "Dazzler" Blare. Darcy's housekeeper be Domino. Stable boy be Todd "Toad" Tolansky. Sarah be Thorn. Mrs. Younge be Cybelle n' finalement (finally) de priest be played by Kurt "Nightcrawler" Wagner. Everyone else be extras. See y' demain (tomorrow). De same time n' place. Until den."
The lights go out for a second and Jetz, Mercy and Bella are gone before the lights are turned back on and leave the doors open.
"Who were they, Swamp Rat?"
"Well Jetz be mon jumeau soeur (my twin sister), Mercy be mon soeur-dans-la loi (sister-in-law), n' Bella well she be someone f'r N'Awlins dat know mon soeur n' Mercy."
"Well I for one am not going to be intimidated by a bunch of humans," exclaims Magneto.
"Actually Jetz be a très puissant (very powerful) mutant. Her powers be illusion, telepady (telepathy), telekinesis n' empady (empathy)."
More arguing and complaining occurs as they all go home.
A/N: What do you think good/bad? Please hit that little blue button below and tell me.
A/N: Sorry if my French is bad. I used and babelfish as my sources.
List of Characters
Bennet Family Howlett Family
Mr. Bennet- Logan (Wolverine) Howlett
Mrs. Bennet - Raven (Mystique Darkholme) Howlett
Jane Bennet - Wanda (Scarlett Witch Maximoff) Howlett
Elizabeth Bennet - Rogue Howlett
Mary Bennet - Jubilation (Jubilee Lee) Howlett
Kitty Bennet - Amara (Magma Aquilla) Howlett
Lydia Bennet - Tabitha (Boom Boom Smith) Howlett
Bingley and Hurst Families Allerdyce and Summers Families
Mr. Bingley - John (Pyro) Allerdyce
Miss Caroline Bingley - Belladona (Boudreaux) Allerdyce
Mrs. Hurst - Jean (Grey) Summers
Mr. Hurst - Scott (Cyclops) Summers
Darcy Family LeBeau Family
Mr. Darcy - Remy (Gambit) LeBeau
Miss Georgina LeBeau - Kitty (Shadowcat Pryde) LeBeau
Lucas Family Lehnsherr Family
Sir William Lucas - Eric (Magneto) Lehnsherr
Lady Lucas- Archlight Lehnsherr
Charlotte Lucas - Lorna (Polaris Dane) Lehnsherr
Maria Lucas - Rahne (Wolfsbane Sinclair) Lehnsherr
de Bourgh Family Frost Family
Lady Catherine de Bourgh - Emma (White Queen) Frost
Anne de Bourgh - Danielle (Mirage Moonstar) Frost
Gardiner Family Xavier Family
Mr. Gardiner - Professor Charles Xavier
Mrs. Gardiner - Ororo (Storm Munroe) Xavier
Gardiner children
- Jamie (Multiple Madrox) Xavier
- Leech Xavier
- Torpid Xavier
- Sarah (Marrow) Xavier
Officiers
Denny - (Lance Avalanche) Alvers
Sanderson - (Sam Cannonball) Guthrie
Captian Carter - (Ray Berzerker) Crisp
Chamberlyne- (Evan Spyke) Daniels
Colonel Foster - Warren (Angel) Worthington
Mrs. Foster - Betsy (Psylocke Braddock) Worthington
Mr. Wickham - Pietro (Quicksilver) Maximoff
Miscellaneous Characters
Hill - Callisto
Mrs. Phillips - Irene (Destiny) Adler
Fosset- (Roberto Sunspot) Da Costa
Mr. Collins - Bobby (Iceman) Drake
Miss Mary King - Lexa (X-23) King
Mrs. Jenkins - Jeanne- Marie (Aurora) Bebaier
Colonel Fitzwilliam - Piotr (Colossus) Rasputin
Mrs. Younge - Cybelle
Male servant- Fred (Blob) Dukes
Baines- Havok (Alex Summers)
Hannah- Alison (Dazzler Blare)
Darcy's housekeeper- Domino
Stable boy- Todd (Toad) Tolansky
Sarah- Thorn
Priest - Kurt