Here's the newest Disney adventure, staring everyone's favorite (or perhaps least favorite) spider, T.R. Chula! I love the little guy, although no one in the story seems to.
(To the tune of "The Bells of Notre Dame")
Banjo: Sun sets on Main Street
Goodbye to the guests
For it's dusk at Disney's park
Time for the workers to get a good rest
When it's dusk at Disney's park
But you never know quite what will happen
So keep looking around now and hark
For adventures will start soon for dumb and for smart soon
It's dusk at Disney's park
Banjo, an alligator, sat strumming his guitar on the cliffs of Splash Mountain. Night had indeed fallen on the park. His older brothers, 'Cordion and Gee-Tar sat nearby. Collectively, they made up a local country band called the Swamp Boys. They didn't have too many differences from each other physically. The way to distinguish them was from their hats, voices, and their instruments. 'Cordion played an accordion, had a deep voice, and wore a blue hat. Gee-Tar played a guitar, also had a deep voice, and wore a white hat. Banjo played a banjo, had a higher voice and wore a tan hat.
"What're you talking about, Banjo?" asked 'Cordion.
"Adventures are popping up here every day," explained Banjo. "Just you wait, something big's gonna happen, 'cause something big always happens."
At that moment, three ghosts flew by. One looked like a skeleton, one was fat and silly-looking, the third was a dwarf with a huge beard. And every Disney fan knew them as the Hitchhiking Ghosts.
"I can't stand it in there!" shouted Ezra, the skeleton.
"Even the other spiders hate him!" complained Phineas, the silly one.
"Freak," muttered Gus, the short one.
"What's wrong, boys?" asked Gee-Tar.
"Well," said Phineas, "we've had a certain resident for a while who's overstayed his welcome."
"Welcome? WHAT welcome?" exploded Ezra. "I sure didn't welcome him! He's an unnecessary addition to our otherwise classy mansion!"
Gus looked up. "Classy?"
"Well, okay, it only tries to be classy, but it'd sure be a lot better off if HE wasn't there."
"Who's 'he'?" asked Banjo.
Phineas narrowed his eyes. "T.R. Chula. Of the Fievel Goes West fame."
"Oh, I know that guy!" smiled Banjo. "He's had a weird life."
"How would you know?" asked Ezra.
Gee-Tar shrugged innocently. "We're the pseudo-narrators. We have to know this stuff."
"Is he really that bad?" asked 'Cordion.
"You don't know the half of it, buddy," sighed Ezra.
"Maybe we should go back to the mansion," suggested Phineas.
Ezra nodded. "Guess so. See you guys later!"
"See?" Banjo said to his brothers as the others flew away. "Something tells me those ghosts and that spider are gonna have some interesting days ahead."
Those ghosts and that spider might bond just a bit
As it's dusk at Disney's park
Adventure will happen, yes I'm sure of it
Yes it's dusk at Disney's park!
Indeed, things at the Mansion had been different lately. They had a new resident, who, unlike most of the other ghosts, was alive. And very annoying. Very, very, very annoying. T.R. Chula, the little purple tarantula from Fievel Goes West. Obscure? Of course. But the once unheard of Chula was now making a name for himself.
No one remembered why exactly Chula came to stay at the Mansion. His friend Batty Koda had flown off to return to FernGully quite a while back, but Chula had stayed. To make it fair, no one really knew why Batty came either.
George Gracey was used to getting complaints about the Hitchhiking Ghosts bothering visitors. Although he got the same amount of reports daily, he got three times the amount of reports for a certain spider.
Chula didn't really get along with any of the ghosts. The girls were disturbed by him, the men were weirded out. Everyone admitted there was someone worse in the Mansion than Ezra, for once. Ezra actually had his own problems. Chula would not leave his girlfriend, Ariel, alone. It was clear with everyone. The creature had to go.
But where would he go to? George didn't think it was right to simply fling Chula out into the streets, even at Disney World. The mansion was essentially the park's second cesspool, the first being Pirates of the Carribean. Everyone agreed that Chula wouldn't last a second there. For the time being, Chula stayed.
It was on one of these days that Emily angrily stomped into George's office, hidden within the Mansion's crypts in the graveyard. George Gracey and his wife, Lily, looked up. "Emily," cried George, "you're supposed to be in the attic!"
"That wretched spider's up there and he's RUINING my scene!" complained the shrill bride.
"Ruining? How so?"
"People can't focus on a ghostly bride if there's an arachnid crawling into cracks where nothing should crawl!" pouted Emily.
George sighed. "Ah. I see."
"Is he still there?" asked Emily.
"When I left, he certainly was!" Emily began to pace around the room, flailing her bouquet (which kept turning into an axe) around wildly. "I simply cannot work this way. If I had a trailer, I would go to it. But, then again, I'm not much the type for trailers."
"Alright, Emily," George stood up, "I'll send a few pop-up ghosts to toss him out."
Emily made a face. "Pop-up ghosts?! I can't stand the little beasts! I was happy to finally get rid of them!"
They heard screams coming from outside the office.
Emily immediately calmed down. "Never mind. Sounds like he's in the graveyard now. I have an audience to entertain." She quickly left.
George sighed deeply. Lily put a hand on her husband's shoulder. "I know it's hard, dear."
"Usually I get complaints about the Hitchhiking Ghosts, but now even THEY'RE complaining," moaned George. "Besides, at least they had some endearing qualities to them. Chula is simply a hyperactive, perverted, foul-mouthed, self-centered spider."
"And a loud one," added Lily.
George sank back into his seat. "I just don't have the heart to throw him out. I've been hearing rumors that there's a group of villain's sidekicks who want to kill him!"
"Kill him? Why would anyone want to...never mind. But what's THEIR reason for wanting to kill Chula?"
"I have no idea."
The Swamp Boys first made a cameo in "The Hundred Acre Woods Goes to Hell," but this is their first big role as the narrators. I used to write stories about Splash Mountain, and Banjo was probably one of my first Ezra-esque characters.
An earlier version of the scene had the Swamp Boys not knowing who Chula was. I had to change it when I realized that they HAD to know who he was to narrate certain scenes later:
Phineas: T.R. Chula. Of the Fievel Goes West fame.
(The Swamp Boys stare)
Phineas: You know...the spider? The purple one?
Gus: Stop trying. He's too obscure.
Ezra: Well, he sure isn't anymore! There's not one ghost or Cast Member who doesn't know who he is!
Gee-Tar: Well, we STILL don't know who he is.
Ezra: SHUT UP! ...sorry, that was harsh. Chula's just made us kinda tense.
Gus: And you won't like me when I'm tense.