Well! Did I nearly crap myself or what? My publish thing stop working for a while and I was like IUFDLHILSAVLCHNREIRUFHW! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO UPLOAD THE LAST CHPTR?!
but then it workd ;]
Enjoy, please. :)
Can you remember how all this started?
I can't. Not really. There was something about luck (or lack of) and me whining a lot, right? Yeah… something like that.
I can't help but wish, just a little, that I was back in that moment and time, were simplicity had me searching for troubles just so I had something to moan about.
But as I stand here in this empty room, waiting for Roxas to break the silence that had been so terribly and emptily dominant for the past five minutes, I know that if I had a choice as to where I would rather be, here or back to the beginning, my choice would be easy. I felt a smile nearly break the surface of my frown; like I would want to be any where of when else with Roxas in front of me.
He sat on the marble floor, breathing heavily, and his perfect form was crouched as though it was weighed down by an entire world. Roxas' hair had returned to its natural soft flicks, thanks to many frustrated tares through it with his own hands, and hid his eyes. It felt like I hadn't saw them in years but I knew it had been four minutes at most.
Everything was silent and still; allowing me to unfortunately take in the atmosphere at full. There was something different about the air, something between a desperate endeavour and lost hope. But, I think, the worst part was I didn't know who was creating the emotion-filled air, me or Roxas. Glistening threads of time and fate seemed to glow in the air more predominately too and I could suddenly feel every second, pulse and vibration everywhere. I was so much more aware of my body too; I could feel my fingertips brushing on one another, twitching to pull the threads and lead myself in the direction of a fate I wanted. I could almost taste an ability within me that would allow me to lift my hand and control the threads of my life by simply reaching out to Roxas. But the same threads that would let me weave my own future, and forget the weights of good and bad luck, kept me frozen.
So, before I could swallow it, I sighed.
Causing Roxas to look up to which I hungrily drank in the sight of his much missed eyes (albeit they were tired in blues).
"I'm sorry that I dragged you in here: I just wanted some quiet." He croakily apologized, his lips quivering and eyes afraid, "You must be cold… and bored." He added with a chuckle filled with no such thing as humour.
In all honesty, I was now terrified. I had never seen such fear, dismay and sheer helplessness shine in anybody's eyes before, never mind perfect Roxas. I glimpsed at his eyes again and a cold, frightened gut tearing shiver clawed up my spine. I realized I was breathing just as heavily as he had been a moment ago now.
"It's fine." I quietly replied.
Another short icy laugh, "Sure, it is."
A frown met my expression and Roxas gave me a struggling smile that tore my chest to stinging shreds. His eyes, no matter how much he tried to prevent it with a hard shield (and I know he did try), showed me the constrictions he was plagued with and the next instant I felt them slam down hard on my heart.
Then I fell to my knees. Half due to the shock and force of the helplessness his expression faced and half due to complete awe I had over everything Roxas was, from his boyish mischievousness to his conflicted soul.
Seeing me drop to my knees, his gaze swung up and met mine in alarm and I tried to give him a smile.
"I'm alright." I reassured, "I just… don't like being on a different level from you." Well, it was true (just not the true answer to the question his eyes asked).
He slowly nodded as though trying to comprehend what I had said.
"Roxas, just tell me." I breathed out, suddenly feeling exhausted.
"What would you like to know?" He replied, instantly and not bringing his gaze from the floor.
I paused for a minute. There was no single thing I wanted to know about Roxas, the simple fact was one thing just wasn't enough. So with my cheeks painting pink I murmured back, "Everything."
"I'll give you short version of the answer." Roxas almost whispered but his voice was rough and his eyes narrowed down at his hands, "I'm the kind of person that isn't good enough for decent people, like you or Nicholas. I bring disappointment and despair. I probably shouldn't even exist."
I choked on my breath when the hushed words hit my depths. Nothing made sense, threads tangled in the air around me, making me stumble as I scurried to him. I heard a sharp gasp as his soft golden spikes brushed across my cheek when I threw my arms around his neck, burying my face in his hair, eyes squeezed shut tightly as if it would help quieten the thundering of my breaking heart and erase the burning pulsing in my cheeks.
I opened my mouth to speak but my throat clenched instantly as his delicious scent enthralled me and a broken whimper only fell from my lips.
His arms remained stationary at his side and he patiently waited for me to shamefully pull away.
"You really shouldn't do that." Roxas told me with a careful smile.
"Well, you promised you wouldn't scare me like that anymore but you did." I defensively mumbled back with my eyes locked onto my hands.
"When did I scare you again?" I could hear the confusion in his voice.
Shyly glancing up to him and sliding away from slightly, I huffed, "You're an idiot sometimes."
Seeing my shift away from him, his brow twitched downwards and he averted his gaze.
"What? I'm I not allowed to do that either?" I half hissed.
"You can do what you want…it's only that the further you go from me, the more I want to…" He paused and I eagerly waited, heart slamming into my rib cage, but his eyes met mine and he quickly dismissed, "…never mind."
The silence came back but this time along with a sense of finality that had me frightened again for the thousandth time that night.
I inched away from him again and caught his eyes watching me quizzically and slightly hurt as I moved.
"You never seem to listen to my suggestions so I won't listen to yours." I suddenly had the urge to act immature about the full situation (maybe it was my inner child's temper tantrum reaction).
"What I said wasn't a suggestion." Roxas replied monotonously.
I shifted away again, huffing at the fact I had received no reaction from him, "Well, then what was it?"
And then a genuine (albeit devilish) smile fantastically cracked his features and his eyes flicked dangerously to mine as he slurred, "A warning." My heart skipped too many beats and the pit of my stomach set delightfully on fire.
But I had to keep going, I didn't want to let Roxas slip back into the deepest depths of constrictions and abandonment. For me and him. So, swallowing my heart, I nervously/eagerly scooted back and quizzed, "A warning of what?"
Roxas grinned and opened his mouth to speak as his eyes filled with light and he steadily stood up, smile growing by the second.
But I as looked up to him and waited for him to proceed his smile warmed and kindness sparkled in his hypnotising eyes.
"How do you make situations like this interesting?" Roxas pondered out loud, leaving me unsure if I was to answer once I got over my initial flustered flattered reaction.
He took a few steps forward and dropped down to me again and I watched him as he watched me. His smile faded and a haze of realization faded over his once bright eyes and seeing this, I felt my own expression drop.
"Is this how things are with Nicholas for you?" Roxas blurted out, a frantic tone breaking through for only the trained ear of his voice.
"What? What has Nicholas got to do with any of this?" I squinted back, slightly fumed.
"Please, just answer me, Naminé." Roxas hushed to me, hastily and as though a clock hung above his head indicating his time was nearly over.
Taking a long pause to stare Roxas straight in the eye, I sighed, "Yes, Nic does make boring things pass by quicker because he is my friend."
Roxas blinked and remained silent as if I had said nothing.
I must have waited for four seconds but it was far too much for me to take. I felt my everything thrash around inside of me, making my skin irritated and my head dizzy, those threads of fate closed in on me again and lead me to roughly stand up, brushing Roxas away, and head for the door.
"Naminé?" Roxas exclaimed with surprise raising his voice a tone or two.
I still headed for the door: I had to get out, just for a little while. Roxas didn't even know what he wanted at the moment so how on earth could I?! Yes, pathetic, I know: my decisions depend on him but I don't want it any other way.
"I'll see you later, Roxas." I threw over my shoulder. My voice broke twice and my stomach lurched once.
"What? No, Naminé! No, no." Roxas called, his voice losing all its composure and revealing true emotion; fear, abandonment and extreme anxiety.
When I looked up he was standing in front of the door, the only exit too. Roxas posture emitted a complete surety with his shoulders back and spine straight but his expression showed the complete opposite. He eyes conflicted in tens of emotions and he chewed his lip nervously. He looked exhausted.
I swallowed down my sorrow for him though. Everything would be clearer in the morning, "Roxas, please let me past. We'll talk tomorrow."
He let out a shaky sigh, his gaze flicked to everywhere but me and he whimpered, "We can't."
"Can't?" I snapped back in alarm. My throat was closing again and my eyes locked onto him. "What do you mean?"
My breath quickened and shortened every second he remained silent. "Roxas, what do you mean 'we can't'? Why can't we?" I demanded, stepping forward.
He remained silent, unblinking and unfocused again.
"Roxas, answer me." I begged, taking another step forward and holding loosely onto his arms, my fingertips tingled at the feather touch of his warm skin.
He slowly brought his ocean-filled eyes to mine and as I fell head first into the hypnotic powers of his deep blue orbs, I felt his hands lightly rest on my hips sending shocking electric bolts up and down my body.
"Naminé, Naminé, Naminé…" Roxas sighed, his breath gracing my lips while I suddenly found my back pressing against the cool wall and Roxas bringing his hands to rest on the wall by my shoulders.
My hands limply clung to his shirt and his thin black tie brushing over my stomach as he edged forward slightly. I breathed in his scent and felt my knees weaken just a touch.
"What did you mean 'we can't', Roxas?" I quietly asked while hungrily drinking in the image of his eyes this close.
He ignored me again but I couldn't care less because his lips were a tiny inch from mine and his skin was radiating a heavenly heat onto mine. I could almost taste his breath and lips. Then he licked his lips. I had to restrain myself from sighing in euphoria.
After a short pause in which a frown had me in a short lived panic, Roxas finally pressed his lips to mine and my immediately relaxed under the contact. He held the strong, tense, delicious, heart-throbbing, mind-melting kiss for a wonderful moment where his hand wound to the back of my neck, causing me to cling onto him even more. I revealed in his taste as he pressed another kiss to my lips, this one filled with a fresh urgency and need as his other hand gripped onto my waist, pulling me to his chest where I happily melted. The kiss was deepened in between quivering breaths and a low growl rumbled from the back of his throat when my hand weaved into the soft hair at the top of his neck.
But then the kisses shortened, although each was still filled with the same tension and want, they denied themselves what they wanted and with a trembling breath Roxas murmured, "I meant…" Another craved kiss pressed onto my lips causing me to only half listen, "we can't talk tomorrow…" and another hungry kiss gently bit my bottom lip causing me to melt further into him, "because…" he kissed me once more but held it for a precious moment and then he somewhat reluctantly pulled away with a sigh and heavy eyes and whispered, "I'm finally going to leave you alone."
My head cleared of all thoughts but his words at that second and I watched him in shock and panic for a moment just to ensure I had actually heard what he had said, "What?"
"I won't annoy you or make things difficult for you or make you go through all the crap I do."
"What? No!" I cried out, my voice was nothing but terror bordering on madness. Everything seemed to crumble at that moment.
"Naminé, I told you already: I can only disappoint and with everything I make you go through…it's not like I could be a good friend either."
I tried to speak again but my eyes were stinging and I had forgotten how to control my body, nothing was working, I couldn't even blink.
"You can have a fresh start." Roxas softly said with a small smile forming on his lips, "I'm sorry I… kissed you, I, erm…sorry."
I shook my head from side to side clung onto him with all my strength despite my shaking limbs.
"I don't want a fresh start." I squeaked out, my eyes finally overflowing.
"You really should, you'll see though, when I stop hanging around with you that is."
"No, Roxas." I pleaded, leaning my forehead on his chest, "Please."
"I'll miss you too, Naminé but…" Roxas' voice was harsh and heavy, he seemed to be struggling, his smile had faded, "it's for the best."
"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!" My voice finally shrieked. "Why are you doing this? I don't want to be away from you! You are my best friend, the best I'll ever have and- and… and…"
"Naminé." Roxas tone had lowered with a thick layer of seriousness, "Tonight proved I can't improve myself and I don't want to hold you back in anyway, you'll see. Really. You will. Just wait. Six months from now, just wait and you'll be thankful. It's for your good, Naminé." It seemed he was trying to convince himself as his voice shook.
"No, don't Roxas." I choked out, my eyes overflowing, chest shredding by the millisecond and lungs drowning in my own desperate air that I gulped down in blind panic.
"Sorry." Roxas simply said with a voice that berated his eyes, "for it all, Nami."
At that he gently pried my hands from his shirt, turned on his heel, took the last of his scent and left the room. Leaving me alone.
And there I cried. I sank to the floor and choked on my own sobs as I clenched my teeth hard and trapped my sobs within me. Silent tears streaked my cheeks and sobs strangled my raw, sore throat and body. Then, whatever had pulsed so lively in my chest before shrivelled into the utter loneliness and with scars that cut in and out it stopped beating.
I guess I'll go home now.
Six Feet Under The Stars
Six Months Later
He really meant it.
He said he would leave me alone and that was exactly what he did. Even when I made my millions of attempts to speak to him, to shout at him and to laugh with him he ignored me, left me be. If I was lucky I would get a glance from him and that was only when I had followed him around for an entire day, making sure he didn't sneak away.
He really meant it.
And the distraught pain I felt when he first left me in that cold room to cry until my eyes ran dry hadn't eased a single merciful ounce. The excruciating blank space that filled every particle in my body had soaked me through and through to a breaking point of insanity and nightmares. The only difference between now and when he first left me was I could conceal the tears much better now.
Before, I always thought it was possible to run out of tears, though. Trust me, it isn't. Pain is on an unlimited supply too, if you want to know. The ripping, never ending, gorging, evil, ruptured black hole inside of me that had squirmed into my mind was proof of that.
Every single thing, place, person and atmosphere I came to know now had a blank layer of doubt coating it, making it a little less bright and a lot less satisfying to accept as a good thing.
And what was worst, the one person that had kept me from becoming a recluse/wrist-cutting emo/ psycho and/or suicidal nut was leaving: Nic's year was up. He was going to travel the world as he promised all those months ago.
I had no idea what I would do without him. But I suppose I would regrettably know tonight, I thought as I wandered to the band stand at the school, still with that pitiable, useless, childish, naïve hope that Roxas would be sitting there, waiting for me. The "friends" ( the word "acquaintances" suit them more) I had made over the past few months had come to me once they realized Roxas had made a runner and just like everyday when they invited me to lunch, I would politely refuse and make my own way to the band stand. As I rounded the corner and found the bandstand in sight, I saw no one standing there and like the fool I was, I sighed.
The sun had returned for summer and greeted me with a healthy dose of warmth. I smiled at friendly memories that kept Roxas close to me and leaned into the breeze as I sat on the bandstand. Precisely thirty minutes later, two minutes before the bell, I eagerly waited keeping my gaze locked onto a particular part of the school grounds where a particular golden haired boy would stroll past any minute in order to get to class.
I waited and waited, unblinking and determined. And then he finally strolled past, quite a distance away but still there, and I memorized every little detail about him as I always did. My stomach tingled in a mix of disappointment and hope.
Ugh. I hate being this sad.
But, hell, I missed him, his voice, his everything so much. This was the only highlight of my day since he had moved across the classroom in every class we had together.
School ended as slowly as possible that day and I soon came to face one of my most dreaded fears. Saying goodbye to Nic.
On the way to the airport, I nervously fidgeted in the back seat of the car with Nic as my mother and father babbled on about something in the front. The ridiculous dread and sadness I was emitting was sickening and I could feel Nic's eyes scanning me in concern. In some pitiable attempt to reassure him, I gave him a slightly lopsided smile which he only frowned at.
The airport was easy to spot, as most airports are with all the giant jet planes and what not flying in and out, and once we were inside queuing and queuing and queuing with Nic something odd happened.
The threads of fate seemed to return to my vision and hung gracefully in every direction so while we waited for some other check I thought about those peculiar threads and which direction I could lead myself in leave if I just got the courage or some luck to actually pull one.
Hope actually ignited deep within me at a point, making that scarred existence in my chest beat weakly for just a tiny second but it stopped once again when I realized no matter how many strings I pulled, I couldn't get Nic to stay.
We waited for the call to Nic's plane in the squishy lounge seats. Just Nic and I. My parents had scurried off for something to eat. The airport smell, full of optimism, worry, anxiety, excitement, fresh beginnings and sad ends, clung around irritably.
"You better keep eating when I'm away, you know." Nic casually smiled to me.
"As if I actually want to eat anybody else's cooking, though." Well maybe one person's.
Nic chuckled quietly, hung his arm around my shoulders and dropped his voice to my ear, "You know he is coming, right?"
My breath caught, I had known but hearing someone else confirm made that layer of doubt slip away, "I couldn't care less. I'm here to see one of my best friend's off."
"I know." Nic breathed, giving my shoulder a squeeze. "Just try, at the least and for me, to not be all sad and depressing at your prom tomorrow."
Oh yeah, there was that inconvenience my new acquaintances/friends had yanked me into promising I would intend. And it was tomorrow.
Nic's phone suddenly began to ring and without moving from me, he answered it.
"Hello…Yeah, I'm in the lounge…Okay, see you soon, then."
I bit my bottom lip as butterflies exploded into my throat.
"Him and his family will be here any minute." Nic told me quietly, "You don't have to stay here."
"Of course, I do, Nic!" I hastily replied, "You're gonna be gone soon so…"
Nic gave me his heartbreaking smile and pulled me closer to him in a warm hug.
But then, I spotted him. Roxas. Who else would have that wonderful, odd hair and same slightly slouched posture?
My breath caught again and Nic gripped me a little tighter as if to ensure my protection. I really wish that worked.
Roxas, as I was so used to now, merely looked through me and straight to Nic as he approached us, his mother and father behind him. And my never beating heart took a stab.
As they came nearer, I let go of Nic and allowed him to stand.
The air was thick with tension.
Roxas lifted his hand to Nic which Nic took respectively with a gentleman's handshake.
"Sorry for being…well, um, you know, Nicholas." Roxas mumbled with a slight smile to which Nic nodded, amused.
Despite the strange heaviness, sadness, awkwardness of his voice my sensations fluttered at finally hearing it again. Even that atypical curve of his lips had my breathing ragged. I watched him in fascination, praying, begging and wishing he would just let his eyes fall to mine. Just for a tiny second then I might sleep tonight.
Nic took Roxas' mother and father, his aunt and uncle to the side to bid a farewell, leaving Roxas and I in a small bubble of our own. I could breathe properly and didn't know if I wanted to be able to.
The threads in the air sparkled again and I was unsure whether they were encouraging me to reach out and finally make my own future, to quit waiting for things to happen, or confining me to stay. I glanced to my hands clasped on my lap and noticed they were shaking.
But my gaze was a magnet to Roxas. I hadn't been this close to him in months and ignoring the fact he kept his gaze locked onto his shoes, I speculated him in complete wonder and awe. He had grown a little, his feature were more defined and somehow even more faultless. I was sitting on the edge of my seat now.
The threads in the air shone fantastically now and I felt determination burn to life within me as if it was encourage by the pure light that glowed from the threads of fate. Allowing the determination to fuel me, I finally mentally tugged on the threads, and stood up, stepping towards Roxas. He didn't flinch or blink.
Gulping down a breath of the tight nervous air around me, I opened my mouth to speak but Roxas cut me off and called to his mother and father, "Ready to go now?" His voice was abrasive and sore sounding. He kept his glare locked on his mother and father. Ignoring my presence. Why did it still shock me when he had been doing it for months now?
His parents nodded and with a final hug from Nic, they made their way back to Roxas.
"Well, good luck, Nicholas." Roxas breathed before hastily turning to face me, staring through me, of course.
But for just a second, a millisecond even, I was sure his eyes focused on mine and at that instant my heart took an erratic beat. However as quickly as he had focused, the blank stare returned and he stalked past me to the exit, his parents following solemnly.
I heard the threads of fate I had pulled snap and sting within me. I flinched at the sharp pain and swallowed deeply; waiting for the metallic taste of blood but none calm and hysterical bewilderment that hit me was too much. I found myself in Nic's arms, clinging desperately, as if he could keep me up from falling into the black hole of madness. Nic gripped onto me and hushed my trapped sobs and calmed the shaking of my entire body.
"Don't…don't g-g-go." I choked out, full of fright, "Don't leave me, take m-me with you."
"Naminé." Nic cooed kindly, holding me like I could shatter into pieces at any moment which was probably true, "You know you don't really want that."
I nodded, "I know but…" My voice was broken and frantic.
"Everything will be alright." Nic reassured me, his voice affectionate and filled to the brim with encouragement. "You just have to make your own luck."
And for the first time in half a year, I didn't see a film of doubt over a person's voice or actions, I truly believed Nic.
A moment later my parents returned and we said our final goodbyes to Nic, he promised he would write every time he was in a new place and tell us all about it, but once Nic had been through the gate and we headed for the plane viewing balcony I was sure I had seen a head of sunshine spikes.
However, perhaps I was only as sure as I was mad.
The latter seemed more probable.
I sighed as I looked into mirror at the image of what could be described as 'Prom Naminé'. The professional stylist, hairdresser and make up artist had all did good jobs and I looked completely different but I was sure if Nic had transformed me it would have been just an inch better than now. The house was so empty and quiet without him. I sighed again, it was gonna be a long night.
My new driver, he didn't even speak to me, took me to he hotel in which prom was being held.
About the full prom situation I had an uncaring lack of emotions and lack of nerves. Everything was strange and otherworldly at the moment because recently (since Nic had left, I know it has only been a day but still…), I felt like a different person. Apart from the obvious exception, nothing seemed to be able to evoke a genuine emotional reaction from me anymore.
Threads glistened around me as I stepped out of the car and faced the large, fancy hotel; it seemed tonight was one of opportunity. But the fact as to whether I actually had it in me to take the opportunities and pull at the threads of fate that I may be faced with deluded me.
With a huff of frustration I marched through the warm air, past the strings and to prom. I was welcomed at the doors with the offer of champagne which I politely refused: I would probably spill it over me.
The inside of the hall was beautiful, no question, royal if anything. Fairy lights draped the walls giving off a soft blue glow which radiated onto every person in the hall, letting eyes sparkle in wonderment. The full room swayed with the music and a calming hum pulsed throughout the room from the stage and gave off a soothing atmosphere.
Or the majority of the room were already at the happy drunk stage. I didn't really care which one it was.
Winding in and out of the crowd I found my name sitting neatly at a table my friends were sitting at. The all let out a delighted squeal on seeing my arrival and I couldn't help but smile at them. It was amusing how excited they got in these situations. Once they calmed down they explained they didn't believe I would show and a few boys had been asking about my whereabouts.
I fervently asked for descriptions. None were Roxas.
Funny how I always believed this was a moment I would be sharing with Roxas.
But perhaps my heightened sense of the strings and threads of time and chance were to do with the other boys. Maybe I could feel every ounce of opportunity tonight because it was a fresh start? I didn't expect to see Roxas here but I still deplorably hoped. I suddenly had a slithering thought it was time to cut the strings of time that held me to Roxas, maybe that was why time seemed to be going past more reluctantly as if to give me enough time to come to terms with moving on?
"Naminé?" I heard a voice ask.
I looked up and found the owner of the voice to be a boy from my computing class, "Oh, hello."
"I know this is like the first time we have spoke but, em…erm, well, you see." He nervously stuttered. I could completely understand his stuttering and fidgeting, I was the exact same. If anything he was doing better than I would be talking to a stranger with three girls peering eagerly at me. I smiled up to him and waited, patiently.
"Would you like to dance with me?" He finally spluttered out.
My cheeks burned and my eyes widened as I gaped in surprise.
I didn't know what to do. Should I say yes? Was this the universe telling me it was time to move on? But I didn't want to. But was it for the best? No, it couldn't be! Nothing was for the best if it didn't involve Roxas! But-
Suddenly a spotlight lit up the stage and I hurriedly directed my attention to it, apologetically shrugging at the boy still waiting for an answer. He nodded and returned to his table and left me to watch whatever was about to happen.
Our head teacher stood proudly in front of the curtains and in the centre of the spotlight, grinning at us all.
"Good evening, everyone. I hope you are all enjoying yourselves!" He exclaimed to the hall in which the students cheered in return, "Before dinner is served, we shall be the audience of a beautiful performance."
I rolled my eyes, no surprise there: of course there be a Mozart of some kind at this school.
"Ladies and gentleman," The headmaster announced as he began to edge off to the side of the stage, "I give you a piano piece composed by our own, Roxas Kin."
My heart jumped started at that second. No, no, I must have heard wrongly, I assured myself internally as the hall burst in a curious murmur. Doubt filled the entire room and weighed down the strings of time in a thick gooey slush. I didn't believe anything about this whole situation suddenly, I was dreaming, in my bed, prom wasn't for months, that must be it.
But then the curtains gracefully swung back and revealed a boy, in suit with sunshine spikes which flicked upwards and seemed shades lighter in the bright spotlight. My heart was erratic and making its way up my throat as butterflies pushed it from my chest. The hall was silent and all over my skin tingled as I waited in utter anticipation as he slowly raised his shaking hands, bowed his head in concentration and closed his eyes.
The melody that filled the room was smooth and flowing until it met slight trickles and odd jumps. The rhythm was never steady, constantly had you waiting for the next surprise but had pauses and breaks of sweet and lively intervals.
And for the time he played, concentrating so hard he couldn't be enjoying it like the hundred other people in the room, I lived in every note, mesmerized and unwittingly pulling the threads of time and fate, making decisions as the music continued and until it stopped.
The instant he brought his melody to a slow stop, I had jumped from my chair and marched through the applause and to the stage. I didn't know what I was going to do once I got there but I taking action no matter what, the threads were knotted around my fingertips as I pulled and brought my future to me. And it was ludicrously refreshing.
The curtains closed and the applause filtered down as people made their way to a dance once again. Taking a quick breath (because I knew I wouldn't be able to keep a breath when I faced him), I scurried up the stage stairs and slipped behind the curtain.
And like I thought, breathing became rocket science when I saw him. His back was to me and he still sat at the piano, face buried in his hand.
I stayed still for a long moment, afraid I was interrupting and fidgeting with those invisible threads.
And then he shifted and stood, my heart couldn't stay consistent, my body shivered in excitement and nerves.
But I rolled the dice before he could get gone. I'm always in over my head.
"Roxas." I called out, my voice wasn't as sure as I wanted it to sound.
He paused, frozen for a long, lone moment that had those threads threatening to snap again and then he slowly moved from the piano and turned to face me. As he had the last time he acknowledged me he looked exasperated and exhausted and his eyes screamed conflict clashing in blues.
I couldn't help but sigh in relief and some form of happiness when he waited for me to respond.
I carefully wandered over to the piano, lightly running my fingers over the keys, smiling fondly at the memory of his melody.
I didn't expect him to answer when I cautiously asked, "Since when did you start playing piano?"
But he did answer, "Since I needed a distraction."
My knees nearly buckled, I limply feel onto the piano stool and I snapped my vision to him, my eyes were wide, cheeks flushed at the sound of his voice speaking to me.
I wanted to shout at him, accuse him, laugh with him, cry with him, talk with him, shout at him some more but all that came out was, "A distraction from?"
Roxas let out a short laugh and stuffed his hands in his pockets bringing those already missed eyes to his shoes, "Isn't that obvious?"
"No, nothing really is obvious with you." I flatly answered.
Roxas inhaled slowly and shakily as I held my breath waiting for the silence to be broken or for him to leave and ignore me again.
"How have you been?" Roxas suddenly asked and when I looked up he had took a few steps closer to me. Any closer his scent may wash over me, my insides quivered in bliss at the memory of his scent, "Not very good."
"Because Nicholas left?" Roxas pressed.
"Well, there is that but something that left me 'not so good' months ago too." I blatantly replied, I might as well be honest because of two things. One, this may be a dream. Two, this might be the last time I talk to him, "You said to me that in six months I would understand and be thankful you ignored my complete existence."
"Are you?" Roxas' voice was broken, nothing held it together and I dreaded bringing my eyes to meet his expression. When I did, I nearly broke out in tears.
"No, not one single bit. I don't think I'll ever be." I whimpered hiding my eyes and turning my expression from him. "I hate it when you ignore me. I'm not thankful for it at all."
Suddenly his scent swirled around me and had me nostalgically mesmerized to the extent my head turned of its own accord, my body wanting to see, smell, touch, sense more of Roxas. I found him sitting next to me on the seat, his eyes burning and smouldering with questions.
"So… you've been worse without me?" He breathed out, his eyes wide, voice shaken with surprise and shock.
"Isn't that obvious?" I weakly jeered to him.
"No, nothing really is obvious with you." Roxas half laughed back.
We stayed silent and still for a peaceful moment until Roxas shuffled along the piano stool and with a father touch placed his hand on top of mine. Something in my mind screamed at me, telling me to brush it away, tell him he was prick for doing all this but my now regularly beating half-healed heart kept my mouth closed and my body still, allowing me to relish the static, electric tingling sensation this contact of skin delightfully gave me.
"Naminé," Roxas softly murmured, his shaky grip on my hand tightening slightly as he begged, "I am so sorry, please, forgive me for being a... for simply being a moron too bent on his own idea of what was good for people to listen."
The corners of my lips curved as my heart skipped and the butterflies in my throat burst into my mouth causing me to give a peal of laughter. I could feel the blood pumping through my veins, feel the contact of skin and hear everything once again. The layer of doubt that had driven me to near insanity and had repulsively coated everything in my life that could be considered good lifted so easily now. I saw the world in the colours it was went to be seen in.
"Okay, but I'll only forgive if you do one thing." I grinned, happiness was bubbling out of me.
"What?" Roxas quickly replied, eager and attentive but still with a crooked smile, "Anything."
My sudden high faded for a moment and my cheeks burned as I shyly mumbled, "Ask me to dance."
Roxas let out a hearty chuckle and the angels sang into my ears as he smirked, "Well, if I must."
Then, never letting go of my hand, Roxas proudly led me off stage and to the dance floor, giving me grins over his shoulder as he did so. The eyes that had watched me with the same fiery quizzical glare the first day I went to school watched Roxas and I but the looks were the least of my concerns as I never let my eyes drift from Roxas.
Once finding a spot he found worthy, Roxas let go of my hand momentarily to take a gentleman's stance (albeit that devilish grin and spark in his eye was nothing of a gentleman's) and hold his hand out to me. Which I gratefully took. The moment his hands came into contact with my waist and I met his chest, a peal of laughter bubble from my lips again as feelings and sensations set in a delightful fire. Roxas only grinned along with me as he guided me in time with the music.
"Naminé?" Roxas mused, gripping me a little closer and inching his face down to mine a tiny inch, I swallowed my heart, "Do you know how sorry I am?"
Taking a greedy gulp of his mouth watering cologne, I quietly suggested (blushing all the time, of course), "You could show me."
The adorable smile that burst out on his face met his eyes fully causing them to shine in all the blues they held and he had my hypnotised to the point you could tell me I was a space chicken and I would believe it.
"I could, couldn't I?" Roxas slurred inching even closer to me with his sweet breath brushing over my lips, "but first I want you to know that as long as you want me around from on, I won't leave your side."
My knees gave up on me but his arms caught me and he fluidly pulled me to his chest.
"Are you okay?" Roxas quizzed, alarmed.
I dreamily nodded, my being still swimming in ecstasy and I replied in a mix of bliss and words, "I never want you to leave. Promise you won't."
Giving me another heart-starting smile, Roxas carefully inched towards me again. I could feel the heat from his body heavenly warming me in return. His eyes sparkled under the influence of the fairy lights and in the blue hue that glowed in the room his eyes told me the stories of all the emotions he had ever faced.
"You have nothing to worry about. I don't think I could leave you again." Roxas whispered, his voice gracing my lips. Time to lay claim to the evidence.
And while the threads of time and fate swirled around us, forever tying me to Roxas, my future, he finally pressed the lips I had always craved for, since the instant we met, to my own and we were suddenly six feet under the stars.
I IS FINALLY FINSIHED!
If you are interested in the next story I'll be doing do the poll on my profile page thingy.
On that note sorry for the delay on this story -_- but still… it's done! Let me know what you think. PLEASE ^-^
And to finish it all off, I would like to thank all the loyal reviewers and Lebrezie for alllllwaayyysss giving long reviews and great pointers and stuff so I suggest you all go read her stories! From what I have read they are great :D
I had so much fun writing this story and THANKS FOR ALL THE SUPPORT YOU HAVE ALL GIVEN ME!
one more thing: what bit or chapter or whatever of the story did you like best (assuming you liked any of it X| )?