A/N: Yeah, this is meant to be stupid. I feel like lately I've been writing a lot of non funny things and so this story is just a little crackfic, because I feel like being silly and random.
A/N 2: the stuff in italics is either the Announcer doing a voice over or the characters doing a confessional. Also Collins, Mimi, and Angel will not be in this fic. I'm sorry / lol
A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila 3!
Announcer: It's been a rough two seasons for our myspace hottie, Miss. Tila Tequila. She's had her heart broken twice and is ready give love a 3rd shot. Lets just hope she doesn't take too many shots, she'll be passed out by the end of the season! This season will be very different from the other seasons. This season will feature several celebrities and a few….bohemians? Ok, lets meet our 16 strangers!
Benny: Hi, I'm Benny, and I'm 28 years old. I like being an asshole to the homeless, it's my job. It's also my job to shut peoples power off when they don't pay their rent. If Tila chooses me. I'll make her my Queen and get her any house she wants…even if that means kicking someone out of their home.
Maureen: Hi, I'm Maureen, and I'm 27 years old. I'm not a Drama Queen, I'm THE Drama Queen. Don't fuck with me, I'll make a protest about you and It wont be pretty. Anyway, O.M.G! Tila is so fucking hot. I want to do some many things to that sexy Asian. Would you like me to tell you? No? awwww ok. If Tila chooses me….or when Tila chooses me, she will be very pleased. People like to say I'm a sex addict, but I'm not, I just love sex.
Roger: Yo, I'm Roger, I'm 27 years old. I'm a musician and I know Tila is a musician, so, I know that we will work out just fine. I enjoy playing my guitar, writing songs, and getting into bad moods. If Tila chooses me, I'll have my whole album dedicated to her. When I get a record deal. Which I know I will, because I'm on TV.
Joanne: Hello, I'm Joanne, and I'm 30 years old. I'm a lawyer and very independent. I didn't know about Tila until a few months ago. My little brother is obsessed with her and has….well a very revealing picture of her on his wall. I found her attractive and now I am here.
Mark: Um….I'm Mark and I've never um….. been on T.V before. I' m nervous….OH! I'm suppose to tell you my age? I'm 28. I have to tell what I do? Well, I'm a filmmaker, but not a creepy kind! If Tila ever choose me to be her boyfriend, I would treat her with respect and I would never break her heart.
Flava Flav: YEAH BOI! THIS IS YO BOY, FLAVA FLAV! things didn't work out between me and my baby's mama. She found out I was married to some other chick and I got another ho pregnant . I since Tila is a celebrity and I'm a celebrity, it could work out….plus she is fine as hell!
Drunk girl: Hi, I'm….um shit what is my name? Ok well anyway! I like to drink and…..yeah, drink. Sometimes I drink till I puke, but most time's I just pass out and wake up next to a girl. I'm actually straight…..when I'm sober, but when I'm drunk…I'm a super lezzie. Do you smell Vodka? I smell Vodka! I'm going to get a drink.
Violent guy: I hate everyone here! I want to smash someone's fucking head in, man! Dude, do you see that bald guy with the pink shirt and yellow sweater vest? He looks like Carlton from The Fresh Prince. What's his name? Finny? Jimmy? Kenny? Lenny? I'm just going to call him Penny and make him my bitch…I can be bi too, sometimes.
Brittany Spears?: Hey Yall! I don't know why the hell I'm here? I was suppose to be at the studio, recording my next album Whiteout. Yeah, I've heard of Tila Rum. She's hot and she's so small! I wanna put her in my purse, right next to my cigarettes and empty Red Bull cans. Do yall have Red Bull?
Chris Crocker: Um no, I'm not here for Tila, I'm here to steal some man meat. Tila Tequila can eat my corn hole! And when I approach these boys, they better want to fuck me, because I don't talk to people who don't want to fuck me! Tila thinks she's the star of the show? BITCH PLEASE! I'm goanna show that little bitch how it's done. I'm the Queen around here. IS THAT BRITNEY SPEARS? BRITNEY!
Announcer: You know what? I think that's enough of the introductions …..I'm disturbed. Who let Brittany Spears, Chris Crocker, and Flava Flav in? I hope they know they aren't getting paid for this.
A/N: Please review. :)