84He sighs into my hair.
"Emily," he whispers, his hands running through my hair. "Emily. I love you."
My eyes widen as I lie there, speechless. I stutter to repeat his words, to tell him what he wants to hear. But it's too late; he's pulling away, and suddenly I'm surrounded by darkness.
"Emily," his voice echoes in my head. "Don't you love me anymore?"
I shiver as the voice turns angry. He's always angry at me- why is he always angry with me?!
And suddenly, I'm in his car. His shiny red car. He's sitting beside me, both hands clenching the wheel, a beer bottle balanced on his lap.
"Slow down!" I scream, but he doesn't hear me. Doesn't see me. His foot pushes down on the accelerator, and he laughs as the car speeds up. He doesn't see the turn- why doesn't he see the turn?!
"Turn the car!" I shriek, but he still doesn't look at me. I pinch- I scratch- I bite, but he won't move; he won't even look at me.
And now we're off the road, soaring in the air over a cliff. Falling down – down into water.
I float away peacefully in the water, waiting for him to catch up to me. I look back-
And he isn't there. He's gone; both him and his car. All that's left is the echoes of his scream, bouncing along the waves…
I sat up in bed, my heart pounding. Fat drops of salty tears are streaming down my face, and I can't make them stop.
"Pat-" I whispered. "I-I love you. P-p-please c-come back."
I glanced around the room, desperate for a miracle. When nothing happened, I buried myself into my pillow and tried to muffle my sobs. I didn't want my parents to come in and see that I was crying. Again. They'd already seen enough of that over the past year. I was sure they were sick of it.
In fact, it's been exactly a year since he died.
I looked at the clock- 2:00 am. I stood up and grabbed my keys. I didn't stop to think, just blindly ran through the house, and out the door.
I started the car. I could see my mom in the rear view mirror; she had thrown open the front door. She was yelling something, but I didn't listen. I pulled out of the driveway and roared off down the street, wiping the tears from my eyes. Through the blur I could barely see the road.
An hour later I found it.
The Cemetery was just as I remembered it; orderly, filled with neat rows of tombstones, each quietly advertising different people. I slipped through the gate and made my way up the rows of stones. I highly doubted the cemetery was guarded, and if it was, I didn't care.
The sky was starting to lighten now, so I could make out the inscriptions of the stones. It took me awhile to find his- I hadn't been here in so long- but find it I did.
The stone was an unoriginal grey, carved into a perfect rectangle. I dropped to my knees in front of the grave and held out my hand. Gingerly, my fingers traced along the words etched into stone, and I read them out loud to myself.
"Patrick Bell, born 1989, died 2007.
"The good die young."
I bowed my head, my hand still resting on the tomb, and let the tears drip down my face. I could practically feel his arms around me; the comfort of him holding me, while whispering sweet things into my ear-
I looked up, and found no one there.
I cried for what was lost, for what could have been. I cried for Patrick, and I cried for myself. I cried because I missed him so much, so much that my heart felt as if it was being pulled out of my chest. Ripped out by his hands, because it belonged to him, and only him.
Then I got angry.
"Why'd you have to go drinking that night, you stupid asshole!" I yelled, still sobbing. "Why'd you have to drive that night? I could have driven you. You should've called!
"Now you're gone, and you've left me here all by my fucking self. Asshole. Why'd you have to go and die?!"
I held my face in my hands. "I tried to tell myself that I've moved on," I whispered to his grave. "I've even got a date on Saturday. A date!"
I felt the wind stir the grass around me. I imagined the wind was his touch, that he was holding me. His fingers tangling into my hair-
"I still love you," I whispered. "Please come back."
But I knew that however many times I begged him to come, he wouldn't. He was gone, and he couldn't come back.
…
Author Note: Hey guys. I'm baaaaaaaaaack! Please review!