110A/N: Howdy people! This is a story that my friend Abby wrote! She's a fantabulus writer, but she doesn't have a fanfic account, so she asked me to post it for her. Okay, I'll shut up now so you can read it.
Disclaimer: Neither Abby nor I own Twilight, Buffy, or anything related to it. OKAY?! NOW GET THE WHITECOATS OFF OF ME!
"All hail the Queen, what what."
"Shut up"
"Would you like some fish and chips, mate?"
"I said shut up."
"Bloody Hell!"
"Shut up before I stake you."
"More tea, sir?"
"Shut up, shut up, shut up"
"Would that be one lump or two?"
"I'll give you more than two lumps if you don't shut up, you bloody American"
"You're just jealous because you lost the Revolution."
"Only because you people played dirty and called for help from the damn French." They glared at each other for a moment, leaning in toward each other, only to suffocate the red-haired girl between them, who was getting rather annoyed with their bickering. She would have cast a silencing spell on them if this van wasn't so cramped.
"Liberty lover."
"Stupid Englishman."
"Crazy American."
"Apple pie hater."
"Who said I hated apple pie? I love apple pie! In fact, did you know that the English invented it?"
"The Americans perfected it and made it better."
"Drucilla always liked me better."
"Dru never did have the best judgment"
"Soul haver-vampire-person-thing."
"You have one, too."
"Shut up." They still glared at one another. Willow was afraid she wouldn't be able to breathe if the came any closer. Note to self: NEVER sit between the two of them again. Suddenly, a gob of spit came out of Angel's mouth and landed on Spike's face. Spike wiped it off in one swift motion. "That's it!" Spike dove over Willow to his right so he could get his on Angel. He tried to strangle him. He got nowhere with this motion.
Angel just laughed while Spike tried to kill him. He fond it very amusing that Spike was trying to strangle a vampire, of all things, to death. A human, maybe, but a vampire? What was he thinking? "Forgot your stake there, buddy old pal?" Angel taunted.
Willow was trying to push Spike off of her during all of this mayhem and foolishness. "Can't breathe," she wheezed. Luckily, this is when Buffy chose to look away from the road and into the back.
"That's enough!" Buffy yelled from the driver's seat "Don't make me come back there!" Spike got back in his seat. Willow took in a deep breath. She felt as if she had survived an apocalypse. Angel and Spiked looked at each other and grinned. Apparently, they wanted the slayer to go back there.
"Emo Englishman!"
"Goth American!"
"Do you want us to throw in the sunlight and watch you burn to a crisp?" Giles questioned from the passenger seat. They had covered the back windows with a black cloth so that the sunlight wouldn't turn Spike and Angel into a vampy burger with ketchup and mustard.
The vampires looked at there hands, like a child does if it is caught stealing a cookie from the cookie jar. They let out a sigh and a very defeated "no". Peace returned to the van.
It remained quiet for a good hour, until every one got very bored again and Oz still had a posing question in his head he had to ask. "I still don't understand why I have to sit in the third row, BEHIND BARS, like a common criminal," he stated.
"Full moon tonight," Buffy replied, "and we will be driving late into the night. I personally don't want to be killed by a werewolf." She drove past a sign that said, "Forks High School". The slayer sighed. How she wished she could go to a normal high school like that.
They were going to some place in Canada, to murder a demon that was going to cause the end of the world. She liked taking back roads, so she often went through little town like this. It was about noon on a Saturday morning. The van was giving them trouble as they passed a road surrounded by trees.
Then, the van stopped. It just stopped. The tank was full, so it wasn't out of gas. "What in bloody hell just happened?" Spike asked. Buffy got out to see the trouble. It was raining. She was drenched. A car passed and they tried to jump start the van. It didn't work. The car drove on
A different car pulled up next to her. It was a black Mercedes S55 AMG. The window rolled down. A young man was in it. He was about, maybe, twenty-three. "Car trouble?" he asked. Buffy nodded. "I'm Dr. Cullen. I live just up the road up there." He pointed to the road they passed before the car broke down. "You and your friends can walk up there and stay until a tow truck comes."
"Thanks." Buffy replied. She was NOT staying in the car any longer with those buffoons. The young doctor drove away and she walked to the van. "Okay, everyone out of the car! We're going up that road to wait for a tow-truck."
Rosalie stood at the window, while Alice sat on the couch. Rosalie was impatient. "She should have been here half an hour ago."
"Bella will be here in ten minutes." Alice promised. "It's not her that's late. It's Angela." Alice looked through the futures of different people she knew because she was very bored. Yep, Bella will be here in ten minutes. Angela's dress will fit. So will mine and Bella's. How did Rose get pink? I specifically ordered blue. She kept looking.
Alice's eyes opened in shock. How could she have missed this? Edward shot a look of shock to her from across the room. He had to find Bella. Other vampires coming in the next five minutes would not be good. He recalled the vampires that visited. That would NOT happen again.