Author's Note: I was nervous about doing a first person narration because in the past it wasn't that well, but this surprisingly came easily to me. One thing I should add is that after leaving, G Major releases her third album.

I hope you all enjoy the first two chapters. Reviews are welcome.

Chapter One: (Just Like) Starting Over

...I'm still not sure if I should go to this industry party. I mean I've only been with Lucas for eight months and he's already showing me around his work and double dating with our friends - not that it bothers me. Lucas is kind, sweet, charming, and completely caring, and I have to admit I'm starting to like him...or at least Samantha is. The Jude part of me is still pining for a he-who-shall-not-be-named in Toronto; a year and a half later I still want him, but here I am in my Manhattan loft getting ready for what was to be 'the best night of my life' per Lucas' opinion and I have no need to shoot him down.

Gotta let the boy dream.

See the thing that worries me is that this is a music industry party, and all the big wigs'll be there. I cannot have any of them recognize me, but as I gaze at my reflection I realize I don't even recognize myself. Straight black hair, pure green eyes with slight baggage underneath from too many late nights at the Vogue offices with Nicci. I grab the concealer pencil - smudge, blend, smudge, blend - and as I continue beautifying myself for the night coming, the last night I was in the Toronto vincinity plays before my eyes like a movie on autoplay.


G Major's lights were dimmed as she made her way to his office near the back. She couldn't find him in any of the studio's, so she guess it must've been his last resort. The past week since he'd been back without any communication to her was killing her. She wanted to apologize for going to New Brunswick and meddling in his life. As she wandered down the hall, she thought of what to say to him. The make-up sex she heard about was probably going to be great. As she neared his office, "White Lines" could be heard playing from his iDock.

She stopped in front of the slight ajar door, mustering up her courage before pushing the door open slightly to see inside. "To-" she couldn't even get the full syllable out as she seen him hunched over the glass coffee table, snorting loudly as he ran his head down in a straight, short line. Her heart pounded in her stomach and her throat tightened, tears pushed at her eyes but she swallowed them back down. The chorus resonated through the room and she violently pushed the door into the wall creating a large hole. Jude rose her eyebrows as the blonde lifted her head, in turn causing a completely oblivious Tommy to follow in her line of sight.

He rose from his seat, eyes wide with regret. The pinkness of the tip his nose began spreading, up the bridge and to his cheeks. "Ju-" he stopped midword as she slapped him across the face. With his hand to his cheek, he looked at her wildly. "What the he-" he was cut off again by her slapping him soundly on the other cheek, his head flying to the opposite side. She pursed her lips looking at the table, grains of coke still strewn across the clear glass, then at him. "White lines, Tommy?" she asked her features tight, referring not just to the song but to what had just been inhaled up his nostrils. In her mind the last months played through her head, so many things clicking in her head. "How could you?"

She shook her head, rubbing her forehead. "I cannot believe you." she whispered backing away as he outstretched his hand to touch her. "'s not...what you think..." he said slowly as her gaze switched between his hand and his face. She whispered so low she was barely heard, "I'm done..."

She turned on her heel, fleeting down the hall of G Major tears falling freely, rushing to her childhood home. As she packed her things quickly, she phoned Sadie and Darius - the two people that were sure to get her out of this. She told D she needed a favor, he obliged and before sun up of the next morning - she was crossing the country lines of U.S. and Canada, on her way to the Big Apple, with a whole new look and alias: Samantha Meagan Harris.

End Flashback

A year and a half later, I sit on the board of Vogue helping with styling and writing bits on fashion. To tell you the truth, it's more complex and harder than anything I've done. No wonder these industry girls are size zeroes. I had the oppurtunity of attending Spring Fashion week in Paris and I've grown a love and respect for fashion.

As I'm securing the back of my earring, the doorbell sounds. "One moment!" I yell down the hall, hoping that across the foyer and behind the double oak doors Lucas does hear me. I give a last once over of the dress I'm wearing and hurry out of the room and down the hall, stopping just before the opening of the foyer. I smooth my hair and slow my pace down as I approach the door. Spending time with Nicci, who is a lot like Sadie, taught me to never look or sound rushed.

'It's unprofessional...' she said. 'Cool, calm, must be those at all times, unless you are by yourself or with close friends...such as myself.' She told me all of this as we did girly things, very unlike myself...then again I'm not myself am I?

I open the door breezily, a soft smile on my face. "Hi," I breathe out, taking in his sandy blonde hair, blue eyes, and crisp black tux.

"Hey Sam," he said leaning forward to kiss my cheek, his hand brushing my hip. "You look...stunning." His eyes traveled down the grey dress I wore. I shrug lightly, even as a city chique Samantha Harris I cannot take compliments well. He leans in to my ear, taking both of my hands in his. "Darling, you're outshining the stars tonight..." he whispers and I feel a blush creep up my neck. He caresses my cheek as I look down. "It's true..."

I smile and look up at him from under my eyelashes. It's little moments like this that makes me forget my Toronto life and everyone in it. "Let's go, hm?" I say softly and he nods in reply. I let go of his hands to grab the small purse from the table beside the door and the shawl from the closet. He stands there patiently, his hands in the pocket of the sports jacket.


Jude, who was now better known as Samantha or Sam, stood in the middle of the pop/rock section at Sound Garden music retailers staring at her slightly delayed third album in her grasp. She gave Darius permission to release it after she came to New York. With the reading of each song title, the memory it carried seemed to hit her at that exact moment. She dropped the CD in the basket along with other memory grabbers. Ten months and she'd fell into her job, but the wound that made her leave in the first place had never healed. It still plagued her everyday to where even her co-worker, Nicole, noticed she was down. As she neared the end of the aisle, her head in the clouds, she collided with a hard body.

Before she could hit the factory carpeting like her baskets and it's contents, a muscular arm set her up straight. "I am so sorry," she said opening her eyes and bending down to pick up the CDs strewn across the width of the aisle. "I wasn't watching where I was going..."

She placed the CDs in the basket and stood up to face a broad shouldered, sandy blonde, blue eyed, gorgeous faced male staring back with an amused smile on his face. He almost made her go, Tommy who?

"It's alright," he said, his voice breezy. "Not everyday that a beautiful girl bumps into me."

She blushed, a smile spreading across her face. "Lucas Michaels," he said extending his hand which she accepted. "And you are...?"

"Ju-" she cut herself off, shaking his hand. "Samantha Harris..."

He chuckled, haking her hand softly and releasing it. "Nice to meet you, Samantha." he said, brushing off the slip up. Shaking his head slightly, he extended a CD he'd picked up from the floor. "Jude Harrison fan, huh?" She nodded and took the CD from him. "Me too. Couldn't believe she dropped from the spotlight like that...she had an amazing talent."

She tried to hide her smile, it was always nice to know fans missed her in the music world. "Yeah..." she agreed, looking at him as he put his hands in his pocket.

"Just for the record, I don't always do this..." he started. "But would you like to get coffee or something...?"

She was smitten by his timidness, but weighed the options. Forgetting Tom was crucial and if Lucas, who seemed like the perfect candidate, was to be the one to do that - she had to snatch the oppurtunity. "Sure," she nodded, her dimples showing as she smiled. "I'd love to..."

End Flashback

It was that date and the following dates that I found out he was a producer at Virgin Records, who sung on the side, striving to start his own record label which he affectionately named 'The Good Stuf'. Somehow the music always makes it's way back to me. Not that I've completely given up on singing. I have a private studio tucked away in the loft, but the music isn't for anyone besides myself.

Surprisingly, Lucas and I bonded and I kept seeing him. He's been so great to me and I truly believe I'm over Tommy, but who's to talk so soon? I know I shouldn't be...

Anyway - tonight he's presenting his signed artists to the media. He's excited so I am...on the inside, I'm still screaming.