A/N: I know its been a lil while longer than expected that I've updated but here I am...life kinda gets in the way of fun sometimes... don't you hate that? ...lol well here it is...Hope you like it!
CHAPTER 9 - You Found Me
Walking past Paige and Mr. Simpson she glances up at me and looks me in the eyes. I see something there, something I have seen at least 5 times since last night. She is nervous. But I don't think it's a bad nervous, it's the butterflies in your stomach kind of nervous. The kind of nervous I am feeling right now. Or at least I think it is. I walk out of the classroom, down the hall, outside, and towards the laneway.
'Thank God Paige chose now to talk. I don't think I could stand going to class right now. Not like they will miss me anyway. That teachers so blind and deaf she wouldn't notice the class empty. Old bat.' I turn and walk into the laneway and sit down on the steps to wait for Paige. I start to think back on the night before, everything that happened; the way her skin felt while we danced, the color of her eyes, her smile. Then my apartment, and the way she talked to my mom like she knew her for years, the moment we sat together on the couch talking about how perfect the night had been. The look on her face when I had gotten hurt.
'She looked so worried. And the way she handled it all was amazing. Not making a big deal out of it all. Well, more than it already was. Then just casually asking my mom if I could stay the night at her place. I know she was just trying to make sure I was ok. But it felt like so much more. It was more than that to me.'
"Waiting for someone?" Jay's voice burst my little thought bubble I was secretly imagining hovering over my head.
"Oh look, here I am in an alley and a rat appears. It's just like magic."
He walks closer to me holding a paper bag in his hands. My first thought was that it was either alcohol or drugs.
"I found these under the table, at the club." He pulls Paige's heels that she had worn to the premiere out of the small paper bag. "I thought maybe your new bestest girlfriend might want them back." I extend out my hand to snatch them from his hands and he pulls the bag out of my reach. I look up at him pissed off.
"Just give me the shoes and go away." I yell.
"First I want you to tell me what it is you think you could possibly have in common with a stuck up cheerleader." He yells back at me. I fall silent looking down at the floor.
"Sorry I took so long." I hear Paige's voice come from my right. I look over at her and smile. Jay drops the bag into my lap and walks away; as Paige makes her way over to me she passes him and stops in front of me.
"I seem to have interrupted fun time with Jay, which looked kinda hot." I look over to see him walking away and then look at her.
"Not. In fact it's been canceled. Replaced by fun time with Paige." I pat the spot on the step next to me inviting her to come sit with me.
"Alex." She says as she takes a seat next to me. She gets comfortable and then looks over at me. "We need to talk."
'Ok that can't be good. Here we go.'
"This can't happen. I'm not a..." her voice drops to a whisper as she forces out the word. "..A lesbian."
I let out a very small half laugh.
"And you think I am?" I say looking at her in the eyes.
"Well you're the one who kissed me." Her voice hinting a bit of immature sarcasticness.
"What are you five?" She laughs. "And for the record? You kissed me back."
She shakes her head in defeat.
'Oh yea…get outta that one Michalchuk!'
"I'm not even supposed to like people like you. People who wear black with navy, and who hate everything and everyone."
'People like me? Oh thanks.'
I look her in the eyes to let her know that I am serious.
"I don't hate you." I smile at her again. "Even if you are one of the popular idiots." We both laugh. "Who drinks lattes and read stupid magazines...And laughs way too loud." She lets out a shy laugh. And her eyes meet mine again.
"I have to laugh when I'm around you...I can't really help it." She says not taking her eyes off of mine.
"And I have to be better when I'm around you...I can't help it either." My voice formed back to the serious tone I used before.
She moves a little then leans in toward me and kisses me, this kiss was different from the first. Shorter, and this time was more like pecks. But it was sweet. When we pull back we look at each other and smile. She takes my hand in hers and leans her
head on my shoulder. With my other hand I play with the bracelet she is wearing, grazing my fingers over it lightly. She is moving her thumb over the side of my hand. We sit there in silence until the bell rings for 2n period to let out. Still holding my hand she stands up.
"Im gonna be late." She says while pulling me up from the steps.
I let out a sigh and roll my eyes. "Ok, ok come on lets go. Like you said before, I know how you hate being late." I say mocking her. She smiles and once we get to the end of the laneway she stops me and kisses my cheek.
"Ok, now I'm ready." She lets my hand go and slowly walks ahead of me. I smile, following her till we get to her locker.
"Spirit squad practice is next, right?"
She nods yes.
"Ok, Ill be there. I just have to take care of something first." She smiles, closes her locker and walks toward the gym. After watching her until she is out of sight I head back into the washroom.
'Ok, Pull yourself together Alex, You don't even know what all of this means. Just get through the day and you can talk to Paige about it all after school. I need to know what is happening, is she having all of the same thoughts I've been having?' I splash some water on my face again and behind me two freshman girls
enter. 'That's my cue to leave.' Sighing I pick up my bag again and leave the washroom to the direction of the gym.
As I walk into the gym I see the girls have started practice early.
"Paige we are gonna need your help over here. Hazel isn't here yet either." Darcy calls over to me a bit annoyed. I walk over to the bleachers and place my bag on the floor. Walking over to them I let out a small sigh. They needed me to be a base for a stunt
where we lift Darcy. Lifting her up into the air with the other girls I push her up and support her footing. Just then Hazel walks into the gym.
"Paige I need to speak with you." she drops her bag in the corner and walks over to me.
"Kinda busy right now." I say giving her a look.
'Hello! Notice the PERSON I'm kinda trying to practically carry in the air right now?!'
"I bet you'll be even busier later...with her." I look over in the direction Hazel is looking and see Alex sit down at the end of the bleachers and wave at me when I look over to her. I give her a small smile and she distracts me for a second.
"Paige..." Darcy says looking down at me trying to balance on my hands. I look up at her and smile. "I got you." I say reassuring her. Returning my attention to Hazel I question her remark.
"What are you talking about?"
'Oh God…what does she know?'
"I'm talking about Alex, What is she doing here? Is she like your girlfriend now?"
Startled by what Hazel just asked I step back and release support of Darcy's foot, she tumbles on to the mat.
"Don't worry, I'm fine." She turns and says obviously annoyed. For a second I stand there with my mouth open unsure of my next move. I look over to Hazel and guide her with my arm behind her, moving her over to the side.
"Who told you?"
'I'm gonna kill em.'
"Jay. Paige...Did you become a lesbian and not tell me?"
For a second I stand there with my mouth open speechless, I shake my head.
"No, No. Hazel…I'm not a lesbian…hello?! Matt...Spinner…I've dated lots of guys."
'Ugh. Stupid. That isn't a lot...Nice one Paige.'
Gladly she ignores that little fact, but continues to question me.
"Well then how come Jay saw you kissing Alex?"
'UM? Answer her idiot!'
"I just...got caught up in a moment..."
'Yea…sure...twice. Liar…And a bad one.'
"And that's all?" She searches for a answer a little less vague.
"Of course..." I cross my arms trying hide the fact that everything I was about to say wasn't affecting me. But it hurt. Oh, It hurt bad. "It was totally stupid…It meant nothing…She means nothing…" I then notice Hazel look behind me to my left with a 'how do ya like that' look and I am scared to even turn around worried that it might be who I really don't want it to be. The one person I would hate to have heard me say those things. I turn and see Alex looking at me. For the first time since this morning when I told her I couldn't deal with everything that went on I see the sparkle that was once there has left her eyes again. It is now replaced by disappointment. Now regretting every word I said I feel like I've had the wind punched out of me. She turns and quickly walks out of the room clearly upset and hurt. Hazel looks over to me almost smiling.
'Ugh…Forget it. I'm not even trying with you.'
I leave Hazel standing there and turn to rush out of the gym to stop Alex. I seem to be messing everything up lately. I run down the hall and out to the front of the school and see Alex heading toward the school doors.
"Alex!" I call her name to stop her while running after her.
"Don't bother." She says. Without turning to me she speeds her pace to get away from me. I catch up to her and touch her shoulder and stop her, standing in front of her. She looks at me with a slight tear in her eye.
'Alex please don't cry...'
"How could you?" she says more pissed off then anything." Again I try to convince her, and maybe myself a little of the reason I have for not letting anything get out.
"I do not like girls. I cannot like girls."
'Perfect answer Paige. Simple and rational.' I think to myself more sarcastic than serious.
"Then why did you kiss me?" she says holding back her tears and I notice she is no longer using the angry tone she did a second
ago. I shake my head lost for words searching for an answer to that question myself.
"I don't know...I…I…I felt bad? I didn't want to hurt you?" Frustrated with my answer she shuts her eyes trying to rid the pain from my words.
"Who needs your pity, huh? I don't." She walks passed me and exits through the front doors of the school. Watching her walk away I close my eyes for a second and let out a small frustrated sigh. When I open my eyes I look over at the table near where everything had just happened.
'Great just what I need...'
Standing there were junior two girls looking over my way, while sitting at the table were Jason and Kevin with very stunned looks upon there faces. It was clear that they had all observed everything that just took place between Alex and I. And as if to confirm it had all been seen, Kevin looks over to Jason. "Well." He says astonished. He looks back over at me standing there embarrassed.
"Oh…um…Excuse me while I go…uh…flush… my head down the toilet." I head back to the gym remembering that I had practically ditched everyone at practice. Just as I walk in a very confused Hazel walks over to me.
"Paige…Why did you leave? Obviously she means something if you felt you had to run after her." Walking passed her I reach into my bag to get my uniform ready for the assembly we have in 10 minutes. "Paige, are you going to talk to me or what?" Frustrated I turn and look at her.
"Hazel! I don't know what to tell you right now. I can,t think about it right now, we have an assembly to do and no cheer even remotely ready for it." She shoots her head up and looks at me surprised.
"Paige! You said we had one! Remember?! Most brilliant-est cheer?! You said that Paige! What's going on?" and the end of her rant she calms down and looks at me concerned.
"I don't even know Hazel...I don't know…" I sit down next to my bag defeated and so confused. The bell rings meaning it is time for us to head to the assembly.
As I stand with the rest of the squad at the back of the room while Ms. Hatzilakos starts the assembly, different ideas of stunts and cheers run through my mind...then Alex...then more stunts...then Alex again.
'Ugh what am I going to do?' A paper airplane made by one of the kids, flies over and barely grazes my head, nervous and annoyed I flatten out my hair trying to think of something we could do before Ms. Hatzilakos calls on us to come up.
"-our spirit squad would like to send you on your way..in style. Paige?" As she says my name everyone turns their attention over to me. Everyone is looking at us...at me. Students with Cameras...looking at me with their judging eyes. I smile. Darcy looks over to me.
"What are we going to do?"
'Ok, Paige stay calm...'
"I haven't come up with anything." I say trying not to be obvious that we have nothing. Hazel imitates my cover up and talks through her teeth trying to go unnoticed.
"Ok...uh...go!" I push Darcy and Hazel forward and they start to walk down the isle to the front of the room. I motion for the other girls to head to the front and instructing them.
"Do some cartwheels ok..?" They walk forward following the rest of the group some doing cartwheels, others with their poms in the air shaking them.
'What the heck am I gonna do now? Oh screw it...my day is already shot to hell…here goes nothin…'
"Gimmie a K!" I shout, pathetically raising my fist in the air.
"K!" Darcy shouts back, looking just as pathetic as me.
"Gimmie an E!" I shout again. 'God I must look like an idiot.'
"E?!" I hear Jason yell from the front of the room.
'God...Gimmie a way out of this…!'
"Gimmie a V-I-N-S-M-I-T-H, Yay!" I end my sad little cheer with a sad little jump to match my...
'Wait…Yay? How pathetic...Oh hell…you've done it now Paige. Just leave…now…before you embarrass yourself and the squad even more then you have.'
I run out of the room like a pathetic loser and just as I do a couple people actually take pictures of me running out.
'Great...now not only am I pathetic, they have pictures of it.' I run to the gym grabbing my bags and head straight for the girls changing room to get out of my damn uniform. I don't even want to think about spirit squad right now, Nor do I want to show my face to anyone else.
'I'll just have to wait till school lets out then I can go home and die.'