Disclaimer: Nope, don't own.

Pairing: Jack Carter/Nathan Stark (With a side of Jack/Fargo, Jack/Allison, Jack/Beverly and Jack/Zane and a bit of Zane/Jo)

First time, slash and a bit of het, Prompt Waking up next to a cat, a gun, and a naked man. (Or five times Jack had too much to drink and didn't wake up alone.)

Word Count: Approx. 1,400


I.

Jack wakes to sunlight streaming through the blinds he must have forgotten to close; with quite possibly the worst hangover he's ever had. That is an exaggeration; college was not kind to him. However that does not dismiss the fact that- as he rolls over and tries to burry his head in the pillows and quite possibly smother himself-that he feels like death.

He groans and tries to decide if it's worth it asking SARAH to close the blinds- it feels like something furry has crawled into his mouth and died- when the bed moves.

Jack freezes and tries to process the fact that the other side of the bed is moving. He cautiously peels an eye open, wincing as the bright light drills into his head and, nope- this is not his room. And he's naked.

Crap.

The person in the bed next to him lets out a low groan and Jack panics, rolls off the bed and falls into a pile of balloons.

The floor of the room is literally covered in balloons. Every colour, taking up every little bit of space, and Jack is sitting in a pile of them, naked.

Fargo's head appears over the edge of the bed, glasses missing, and hair sticking up at odd angles and looking suspiciously green. His eyes widen when he spots Jack, modesty thankfully saved by a well-placed purple balloon, and he swallows looking slightly panicked.

Jack swears off drinking right there.

"I'm hallucinating." Fargo says tentatively.

"Yes." Jack agrees. He spots his pants and boxers in a pile a few feet away. "And this will never be spoken of again." Fargo nods quickly, then blanches at the movement. "Now turns around and close your eyes so I can get dressed."

Fargo rushes to do so and Jack starts looking for the rest of his clothes, sincerely hoping that Stark never finds out. He'd never live it down.

II.

Well, Jack thinks as he opens his eyes to the thankfully dark room, so much for swearing off drinking.

There are no windows in the room, but there is a clock on the wall and it's a little after four in the morning. His knees sting and his head is throbbing and what he really wants is some ibuprofen. And his clothes. He does a quick check and he's at least wearing his boxers this time. He lets out a sigh of relief and sinks back down onto the thick carpet.

But that leads him to his next thought- where the hell is he?

"Oh." Comes a very familiar voice next to him and he winces and rolls his head somewhat reluctantly to peer through the dark.

Allison stares back looking just as freaked out.

"Uh- hi." He says.

"Hi." She says back.

Jack does a quick check just to be sure, and yup, they're both in their underwear. And considering he's been chasing after Allison for months now, it shouldn't be this much of a relief to discover this.

"What did we drink?" Is the next logical question, because whatever it was, he's never touching again.

"I have no idea." She admits and there goes that plan. Somehow though, he suspects that the scientists are to blame. He vaguely remembers being invited to celebrate some amazing invention down in the labs. He should know better by now.

"So," he peers around the room, hands tapping idly on his stomach. "Where are we?"

"I think we're in my office." And that leads to all kinds of awkward thoughts about security cameras and who saw them and whether Stark saw them and what they're going to do now. "Let's not tell Nathan."

"Or Zoe." He adds. Allison sits up and they share a look. "Or anyone."

"I like the way you think Carter." And just like that it's back to business.

They dress in silence and Allison quickly deletes the security footage without checking it and then they slip out of Global and decide to never mention it again.

III.

There is something stuck to his forehead. He grunts and tries to swipe at it, but quickly discovers that there is something stuck to his hand as well.

"Good morning." Someone calls out and Jack freezes. It takes everything he has to open his eyes and not just hide under the covers until whoever it is, goes away.

As it is, when he spots who it is, he realizes that he should have just buried himself under the covers.

Beverly grins at him over a cup of coffee, smile wide and predatory and shark like.

Jack swallows heavily as he internally panics.

"Sheriff, I must thank you for the entertaining night." She says and Jack grabs the sheet and pulls it higher as Beverly looks him over and that's when he realizes that he's covered in yellow post it notes.

"What the hell?" He grabs the one on his forehead and reads it quickly, and then the one on his hand and wrist. "Control issues? Abandonment issues? Obsessed with Stark?"

Beverly's smile, if possible, gets even wider and smug.

There are yellow post it notes all over his chest and further down and he peeks under the covers and yup, they go all the way down to his feet. And he's not wearing clothes this time. And they all have something written on them.

"You were very vocal last night." Is all Beverly says and Jack scrambles out of the bed, decides screw modesty, rips the post it notes off and gets his clothes, pulling them on, on the run.

IV.

Jack wakes with a start to find a panicked looking scientist leaning over him.

"Guh!" Is what he manages to say, ever so eloquently.

Zane glares at him but continues to loom over him and, Jack chances a look down, he is most definitely not wearing anything.

"Jo never finds out." Zane says firmly and Jack just nods. He's not stupid, Jo and Zane may not be dating, yet, but that won't stop the deputy from killing them both.

"My lips are sealed." Jack promises and Zane gives him one last, long look before sitting back and getting up and off the bed in search for clothes.

Thankfully they're in the bunker this time so Jack just curls back up and decides to go back to sleep and let Zane let himself out. His head is pounding and this is one hangover he plans on sleeping off. He's never been so glad that Zoe is visiting Abby for the summer.

V.

Jack peels his eyes open, head pounding but over all feeling pleasantly sore, to find a pair of yellow eyes staring back. He blinks, startled and the cat just continues to stare.

A strong arm slides around his waist and pulls him up against an equally strong chest and the cat gets up, stretches lazily and disappears off the side of the bed. Jack spots his gun on the bedside table and figures that at least this way he has a means of escape.

"Go back to sleep Carter." Rumbles a deep voice from behind him and there is no way that he's in bed with him. No way he got that lucky.

"Stark?" He asks and yes, his voice squeaks a little, but no he will no admit it to anyone. Ever.

The man in question mumbles something into the back of his neck and Jack rolls over, careful not to dislodge the arm still wrapped securely around his waist. Nathan Stark reluctantly blinks open gorgeous green eyes.

"I have no appointments today and your deputy so thoughtfully gave you the day off last night after your fifth shot of tequila. Go back to sleep." Nathan lets his eyes close again but Jack can't just relax back into sleep. He's in bed with Nathan Stark.

There's no chance in hell he's just going back to sleep.

"We can get breakfast at Café Diem later." Nathan mumbles half into the pillow and there are lines on his face and his hair is a delicious mess and Jack just can't help himself as he leans forwards and licks a line from Nathan's jaw to his collar bone.

"That can wait." Jack says and then sucks on the exposed skin until there's a satisfying mark there. Nathan blinks down at him and then a slow, smug grin slides across his face and large, warm hands slide up Jacks back.

"Well," he drawls, voice husky with sleep and something more. "If you insist."

Jack grins and kisses him.