Waluigi's Warriors

A Mario Strikes Charged Story

Gustauve Drakenhime III

Authors Notes: Hello again. First off, to anyone who is even the slightest bit miffed over the lack of any new chapters on Diamond City Contra, I would like to apologize for any inconvenience I may have caused. My fiancé, Rebbecca, had recently sent me a copy of 'Mario Strikers; Charged' for the Nintendo Wii (Ich Liebe du sier mut, Babe!), and have just now beaten anything and everything there is to beat in the game, which means I can now put down the Wii-mote (or rifle, depending upon the situation) and get back to writing stories. This is a collection of meandering thoughts, scornful whimsies, and bits and pieces of humor here and there, all manifested in the form of a story format that follows the nefarious exploits of Waluigi and his team as they take place in 'Mario Strikes; Charged'. Expect large amounts of bias on my part, as Waluigi happens to be my favorite character.

And so, without further delay, I would like to present to you this story.

Chapter One: We're Gonna Win!

"- I don't know about you, Ted, but I could really warm up to this guy!" "There's a reason why everybody hates him, I mean, don't

you find it odd that… I don't know, help me out here Rikki!" "The guy's a dirty cheater." "Oh come on, why does everyone seem to

think that, just because Waluigi Wario is somehow talented at football, it automatically means he cheated? Can you- can you

answer that, Ted?" "Yeah John, I think I can; first off, I don't think I have to remind anyone here about the Tennis Tournament

fiasco-" "Oh, give me a br-" "I'm not done explaining myself!" "Well, by all means, please continue." "Thank you; anyways, as I

was saying – everyone remembers how both he and his brother caused millions of coins worth in collateral damage, as well as

several injury related law-suits, all because they decided to use underhanded tactics in order to win, which also leads to the

interesting matter of how he managed to weasel his way out while his brother took all the flack!" "Don't forget about the fact that

the guy's got a few criminal records under his belt." "Thank you, Rikki, for bringing that up, because that leads us to my second

point – the man's a thief; says here that he's been arrested for five counts of burglary, two counts of grand theft auto, twenty-

seven counts of assault with intent to cause bodily harm, three counts of DUI, not to mention that he's been booked for running a

protection racket, money laundering, illegal gambling, drug trafficking, and illicit arms dealings! I mean, come on; this guy makes

his brother look like a saint!" "Jeeze-Louise, he had how many counts of assault?" "Twenty-seven and counting, Rikki." "I still

don't understand where you're getting the whole idea that he's a cheater from – all I can see is that the guy's had a few run-ins

with the law; doesn't mention a thing about cheatin-" "Third and final point – all you have to do is look at him, and you can tell

right off the back that Waluigi Wario is bad news!" "What? What the hell does that have to do with anything, Ted?" "Makes since

to me…" "A freakin' picture of my great aunt Helen would make since to you, Rikki!" "What are you saying, John?" "I think you

know damned well what I'm saying, unless you're stu-" "Hey-hey-hey, let's not start this right now; all I'm tryin' to say is that he

cheats, and everyone knows it… I mean, it's not as if he's even gonna make it to the semi-finals anyways, right? After all, he

never has won a single event before, so what makes him think he ever w-" 'BLAM!' In an instant, the radio was gone; all that

remained was a smoldering pile of debris where the sledge-hammer had made contact. Dry Bones stared incredulously at

what had once been a radio, his radio – then looked towards the perpetrator of such a heinous act of destruction. The cause

of his loss was none other than Waluigi Wario, who for lack of a better word looked mad – very, very mad. "Hey, man," he

cried,"what the hell was that for?" "…Nothin'" replied the tall, gaunt man as he proceeded to turn and leave the room with

his sledge hammer in tow. Turning towards Hammer Bro (a fellow team member), Dry Bones asked "Dude, what's eatin'

him?" Before Hammer Bro could answer, however, the voice of their team's goalie, Kritter, replied "Oh, you know how the

boss is, always gettin' riled up over the littlest thing – kinda like how Toad gets his knickers in a bunch when people call him

short." "Damnit all," cried another voice from the kitchen, "for the last time, I am not short – Okay!?" "Take it easy little guy, I

didn't mean any-" "There ya go again, calling me little!" "Take it easy, Toad, I didn't mean to insult ya or anything, I was just

making a point." "Yeah, whatever…" The few seconds of silence that followed were shattered when both Kritter and Toad

exited the kitchen, each carrying a bowl. "Okay," exclaimed Kritter, "who wants popcorn?" As they were situating themselves

on the sofa, Hammer Bro chose that moment to answer Dry Bones' question. "Personally, I think it's just the stress that's

getting to him, that's all; I mean, we barely made past the preliminaries, so of course he's gonna be on edge." With that

said, they proceeded to watch re-runs of previous games…

As Waluigi walked down the hallway and towards the Captain's Lounge, he thought to himself 'Nope, there was absolutely no

reason what-so-ever for me to do what I just did; and that's the way I like it.' In reality, though, there were many reasons for

the tall man's animosity; one being the fact that, despite his best efforts, he could never really escape the persecution that

constantly followed him everywhere he went. Another reason was the fact that he was sick and tired of being called a

cheater (even if he really was – but that wasn't the point!) and a loser. Still, another reason may have been the fact that he

personally didn't care for that particular station. But perhaps the biggest factor was that he just wanted to smash something

with his brand new sledge-hammer!

Something was amiss. He could tell the minute he entered the Captain's Lounge that something was conspiring. Maybe it

was the fact that, the moment he entered the room, all conversations ceased and all eyes were upon him. Maybe it had

something to do with all of the dirty looks he was receiving. And maybe, just maybe, it had something to do with the fact

that many of the dartboards had a picture of him placed in their centers – many of which had darts already in them!

Choosing to ignore everything and everyone in the room, he continued to head towards his table, the one that no one in

their right mind ever approached. As he continued, he couldn't help but feel all of the eyes that were more than likely

shooting daggers at him. 'Just ignore them,' he thought, 'it's not like you care whether or not they accept you as an equal…' That

was when the whispering started back up – some of which could easily be discerned, those weren't the ones that bothered

him though. No, the whisperings that really got under his skin were the ones that he couldn't discern – the ones that were

more than likely about him. Again, he chose to ignore the other captains. As he approached his table, he was shocked to find

that someone was already there – and not just anyone; it was none other than his older brother Wario! 'What's he doing

here?' wondered Waluigi, 'He doesn't usually come in here unless it pertains to... Oh no, I bet he's here to chew me out about

our last match-up!' As he quietly debated on whether or not he should just turn around and leave, he suddenly realized that

Wario had already spotted him and was waving towards him with an unusually large grin. Deciding to get things over with,

Waluigi proceeded towards the table, ultimately sitting across from his older brother. The silence was killing him; he really

didn't want to be yelled at by his brother, especially in public. The grin on Wario's face was getting progressively bigger – it

almost looked like he was straining his face! Suddenly, the silence was interrupted by the older of the two. "I thought I'd

find ya here…" he chimed. "Yeah…" replied Waluigi – this was really awkward for him. "Listen, Wario," he continued, "I just

wanna apologize for the trick I pulled to get that last goal - nobody deserves that, so I guess what I need to say is that I'm

sorry…" Wario stared at him as if he had grown another head; "Waluigi," he exclaimed, "did that just come out of your

mouth?" "Um, I guess…" "Well," replied Wario," That's fine and all, but why the hell are ya apologizin' to me for – if ya ask

me, I'd say that was a pretty damned good move you pulled there!" "So," Waluigi said, "You're not mad at me?" "Mad at

you," shouted Wario, "why the hell would I be mad at you, when you managed to beat me fair and square!" "Last time I

checked, breaking someone's leg intentionally doesn't exactly constitute as fair and square in the rule books!" hissed

Waluigi. With a hearty laugh that caused many of the other captains in the room to look towards the two of them (many of

whom weren't very keen on having either of the Wario brothers in the semi-finals – as their faces clearly showed.), Wario

chortled out, "It is in my book – but that's beside the point; the point is that you made it to the semi-finals when everyone

said that you couldn't make it, and I'm pretty proud of you for that." "Wow," exclaimed Waluigi; a small smile forming on his

lips, "th-thanks, Wario – that means a lot to me…" Wario's grin seemed to have grown two-fold, which in turn caused the

small workings of a grin on his little brother's face bloom into a full blown toothy smile. His high spirits, along with one of the

few honest-to-goodness smiles he had ever had, were instantly shot down when he heard a particularly nasty comment

coming from a fellow team captain, Princess Peach, which was obviously about him – "- cannot believe that someone like him

is even allowed to participate in the semi-finals; I mean, really." "Oh, don't get so bent out of shape about it Peach," this

voice belonged to another team captain, Princess Daisy, as she continued, "I mean, it's not like he's even gonna survive the

first round…" Apparently, Wario had also heard the exchange between the two princesses – "Hey," he said, "don't let 'em

get to ya – their just all bent outta shape because they know you'll beat 'em, no problem what-so-ever!" Rolling his eyes,

the younger of the two replied, "Heh, yeah, right." "I'm serious," crowed Wario, "the way you play it's a wonder that I'm the

only captain out of commission – you'll beat these losers, no prob!" "You really think so?" asked Waluigi, the tiniest spark of

hope triggering in his heart. "I know so, bro – you'll win, and I'll be there coverin' yer back the whole way; someone's gotta

keep those media vultures offa' ya." As he said this, Waluigi took note of the subtle change in his older brother's tone.

'Whadda ya expect,' he thought to himself, 'after all, the media nearly destroyed his relationship with Mona; I'd be pretty

pissed too.' Without warning, Wario was all smiles again, and with another hearty laugh he said, "Anyways, I'm gonna be

rootin' for you the whole way – just remember that when you start thinkin' the world's against you!" Waluigi's smile was

back with a vengeance, and this time, nothing anybody said would change that! "Thanks Wario, thanks for everything." "Just

go out there and win!" "Yeah, I'll do it – for the both of us!" and with that, Waluigi got up and literally ran out of the

Captains Lounge.

"Shhhh, Here comes my favorite part!" exclaimed Toad. All four of them stared intently at the screen for a few seconds

before bursting out into raucous cheers and laughter! "I – hahaha – I can't believe how – heheh – how you pulled that off!"

giggled Hammer Bro. "And did you see the face on their goalie," crowed Kritter, "that was priceless!" "I still can't believe that

I managed to do that – after the beating that Birdo gave me!" "Hey, man," replied Dry Bones, "there's a reason Waluigi

chose us." Indeed, there was a reason – of all the potential recruits, the four of them were the only ones that managed to

survive Waluigi's brutal training regime – many of those who failed were so messed up that they would most likely never be

able to play football again! With such hardships, it was very easy to hate the man; after all, all he ever did was laugh at

their pain! But, as they gradually got to know him, they inexplicably grew to like him and his mannerisms. The same could be

said of Waluigi – for the first few months, all he ever did was make fun of them, call them names, and laugh at any hardship

brought their way. But as time progressed, he began to address them by name, talk to them in a somewhat civil manner,

even sharing in some of their shenanigans – like setting off fireworks around the Strikers Complex after curfew. "Yeah,"

boasted Kritter, "he chose you cause you're one tough little dude!" "There ya go again; jeeze, how many times do I have to

say that I'm not little?!" "Oh, you know I didn't mean any-" All noise seized with the audible 'click' that signaled the arrival of

their captain through the door. "Hey fellas, I'm back!" "We're in the den!" shouted Hammer Bro. Seconds later Waluigi

entered the den. "Hey," he exclaimed, "is that the match where Toad did that one move; ya know, the one where his shoes

melted off?" "Yep." replied Dry Bones. "Oh, I love this one – move over!" In a flash, Waluigi was on the couch, eating

popcorn and laughing with the rest of his crew. It was at that moment that everyone agreed – they would stick with this,

and they would win!


So, what do you think of it? Is it okay? If you find anything wrong with it, please tell me and I'll fix it! Also, I would like to say thank you all for even bothering to read my stories – as that makes me feel accomplished! May the blessings of the Lord follow you wherever you may be.