42The whole thing is going to be revised today, I sure as hell have the time…
Hi! I own NOTHING. This is a just a story whose plot is ridiculously stupid. Anyway, I think it is. It came to me when I was daydreaming or something and thought it was cute at the time.
X-x-X
3rd Pov
X-x-X
It was a fairly normal day in the World That Never Was, if you could even call Organization XIII normal.
Let us join our good friend Demyx now, who was running around the castle, his arms completely outstretched and both hands gripping on a paper.
As he ran past Saïx's room, he heard noises in which I don't think need to be described.
He ran onto the sixth level of the Castle that Never Was, and was then attacked by Axel and Roxas, who were running amok with tampon guns.
They were chasing him as he ran past, and eventually he got them off his back by sending a few water clones at 'em.
He reached his lover's domain and hurriedly knocked on his door. "Come on Zexy…Open up! Zexionnnnn!" He whined, jumping around as if having to pee.
Demyx finally gave up with knocking, and tried to just ram into the door for it to open.
You see, Zexion's door was always only mostly closed.
If you lightly poked shoved it, it would open easily.
So of course, Demyx wasn't expecting to hit a solid door, instead of it sliding open with ease.
He hit it with a loud thud, afterwards realizing, 'Oh! He's not here!' and running off again.
He barged into every bathroom, one of them containing Larxene, who, after taking the tampon out of his hair to use herself, zapped him with lightning. He shook it off and continued his search.
In the kitchen Xaldin was preparing dinner, and Luxord making a house of cards.
Demyx zoomed in, slipped on a stray card and, trying to grab the table to keep himself from falling, knocked down Luxord's card mansion.
Luxord, naturally, was not very happy. But before he could do anything, Demyx was already gone.
As he ran down another flight of stairs, there was a loud BOOM, no doubt coming from Vexen's lab.
He ran to Marluxia's garden next.
"Hey! Marly! Have you seen Zexy?!" Dem asked him.
"I believe I saw his head protruding from a tree out front." Was all Marluxia told him, while putting one of his potted plants into the sun.
"Thanks! Wait, Zexy, in a tree? Weird-OHMYGOSH MARLY THERE'S A GIANT SPIDER…or… ter-en-toola, whatever Zexy told me they were, ON ONE OF YOUR PLANTS!" Number IX screamed, drenching the whole garden with a huge tidal wave of water, killing half of the plants.
"DEMYX! YOU MAY TAKE YOUR LEAVE NOW!" Marly screamed at him, bringing out his scythe and chasing said water-mage out of the conservatory.
Demyx, after being chased outside, ran into Xigbar, who was terrorizing birds.
"Hey! Xiggy! Have you seen Zex?" He asked, watching with glee as his other best friend terrorized the pigeons.
"Little Dude? Yuh, He's over there with Lex hangin in the tree!" Xigbar replied, pointing to a tree which did just so happen to have Lexaeus sitting up against it, reading.
"I see Lexy, but where's Zex?" IX asked again.
"He's IN the tree, dude. Just danglin around like a little monkey!" Came the reply.
"You're kidding!" Demyx said, as he ran towards the tree.
"Hey Lex, where's Zexy, Xiggy said he'd be in the tree but I don't see him!" He questioned as he came up.
Lexaeus only smiled at him, and there was a rustling of leaves above him.
Demyx looked up only to see Indigo pools staring back at him, and some violet fringe dangling onto his forehead.
"HOLY insert witty phrase here!" Demy screamed as he realized it was Zexion, dangling upside down on a tree limb.
"Oh hi, Zexy!" Dem grinned, having totally forgotten his main purpose of searching for his bed mate.
"So, what did you need me for? Everyone throughout the castle came to tell me that you were looking for me, and they didn't look too happy." Zexion asked, his voice as smooth as usual, as if he wasn't in the tree at all.
"And why are you soaking wet?" He added as a last thought.
"Oh, I accidentally ruined Marly's garden by casting a giant thingy of water on it because there was a ter-en-toola in there…And, I wrote another song! I had it on a paper, but it was ruined when I got wet." He pouted as he answered the question.
"Why in the world are you a monkey today anyway? It's not like you, and your door was closed all the way!" Complained Demyx, as Zexion muttered something about a tarantula.
"I sure hope you're not sick! Then we'd have to go see Vexen, and he's been all explody all day! Who knows what might happen if I bring you to him, he might give you another nose or something."
Zexion only smiled, and sat up on the limb he was hanging from, since all the blood was rushing to his head.
"Wait…Vexen has been exploding?" Came Lexaeus' voice, him now joining the conversation.
"Yea, He has been! I was running around trying to find you guys when I heard a couple of booms!" Demyx informed them proudly, only to receive an odd look from both Numbers V and VI. That ended the conversation.
"It's getting late, we should get ready for dinner." Lexaeus proposed.
"Ah yes, let us." Zexion added, as Lexaeus grabbed him by the waist and pulled him out of the tree. He gently set him onto his feet, and they started off towards the castle's dining room.
Once the trio got there, they were shocked to see that the huge table was covered in cakes and tons of party stuff, and booze.
Well, that, and a couple juice boxes for Roxas and Zexion, since they were still underage.
Even though Zex was always retorting that he was almost 21 physically (Everyone knew he was only 17 though), and was really who knows how old chronologically, since nobodies don't really age.
There was also a huge banner strung across the ceiling, it stating 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY XIGBAR' in huge, purple letters.
'Ah yes, that's right. His birthday party was tonight, don't know how I could have forgotten.' Thought Zexion.
After everyone arrived, Xemnas ordered that everyone grab a plate of food real fast, sing happy birthday to Xig and then eat the food.
Why? It's Xemnas, that's why.
Everyone, after giving confused protests, followed orders and grabbed their food.
After setting down the plates at wherever they were planning on sitting, they all gathered around the cake, save for one.
Somehow, No one really noticed Vexen slipping out of the small crowd and sneaking around to certain plates.
Thinking everyone was sitting in their assigned seats(He didn't hear Xemnas say that they could sit anywhere that night), he quickly dropped a certain amount of a mysterious vile into the spots in which normally numbers 9, 8, 12 and 2 would sit. He quickly rejoined the crowd as if he had done nothing.
Soon after, everyone sat back down where their food was and began eating and chatting merrily.
Well, except for Lexaeus and Zexion, who only listened to the others and gave their two cents every now and then.
As soon as the cake had disappeared into the many digestive systems of the room, Xigbar and Xaldin brought out the alcohol and juice.
About ten minutes later is when the real party finally got started, with music blasting and Vexen hangin behind a table used as a bar.
Axel was going around grinding with anybody that would let him, in other words, anyone that was drunk enough.
Xemnas and Saïx were just hanging around the bar area, talking nonsense with drinks in their hands.
Demyx was being the DJ for the night, and Zexion, who managed to steal some beer, was actually dancing, staying close to the huge stereo thing that Demyx was using the whole time.
Every now and then he would try and persuade said DJ into getting someone else to do it while they go do something unmentionable…on the dining room table.
Finally, after several attempts at persuading, Zexion got to have his way with Demyx on the dining room table.
It would have been the best intercourse ever, if they weren't interrupted by Vexen halfway through.
"Number 9, how was your fruit salad?" He asked. They both gave him uber shocked/pissed looks, after pausing their movements Zexion's mostly saying 'WTF OLD MAN?!'
"Um, fruity?" He said, it being more of a question.
"The fruit salad was fine, about as fruity as the flower fairy (Marluxia, of course), so fuck off." Zexion growled.
"Yea…Now, can you like…Leave? Please?" Demyx asked after an awkward silence.
"Yes, that'd probably be best." Vexen said, walking off with his arms folded behind his back. As he left, they continued on.
"Oh wait Dem-ah…Tell Vexen that the-nngh! The um, spaghetti tasted rather-AH! Odd, will you?" Zexion asked his Nocturne.
"Why me? It was your-Ah…Food. Not mine! You-AH!…You tell him!" Demyx panted back.
"No, that'd be really out of character for me." Said he.
"Oh, and hanging upside down in a tree isn't?" Demyx managed to ask. "Fine…HEY VEXY! ZEX SAYS HIS SKETTI TASTED WEIRD!" Vexen froze in mid-step at this.
"What? That's…That's nice." He said, after receiving rather odd looks from Saïx and Xemnas, both of which were drunk off their rocker.
Moments later, Xemnas silently dropped to the ground, passed out.
Saïx merely looked at him. Leave it to Saïx to not really care.
He watched Zexion and Demyx go at it for a minute, before turning around to Vexen and asking, "Four, how ever did those two get together. They are complete opposites." In a more of a statement tone of voice.
"Who…Axel and Roxas? Well, Axel cornered Roxas one time and gave him a hand job." Vexen explained. "BEST HAND JOB EVER!" screamed a 'drunk' Roxas.
Axel had given him cider, tricking him into thinking it was alcohol. "No, not Axel and Roxas. VI and IX." Saïx said, looking very un-amused and drunk.
"Oh…I really don't know, actually. I think it has something to do with ice cream, Xigbar's guns and Marluxia, but…I'm not too sure." Informed the Chilly Academic.
Both men looked around the room, finding that they were now the only ones having not passed out.
Well, Vexen wasn't drunk, so of course he'd be fine. "I'm going to bed." He announced, stomping off. Saïx nodded, and after another minute or so followed suit.
IT HAS THOU BEEN REVISED, YO.