Oh, how entertaining. Ed was drunk. It was to be expected, in a large house filled with people and alcohol. Since Pinako was out of town on a house call for an auto-mail replacement, Winry had invited Ed and Al over to keep her company, which in turn got a suspicous Roy invited, who invited Riza to tag along, and Sheska was asked to tag along with Riza. Al, of course, asked Rose, Russel and Fletcher to stop by, infuriating Edward. Since Ed now shared an apartment with the homunculi Envy, he decided to follow, bringing Lust and Greed with him. Greed decided to drag in Kimbley and a couple of his girls from the Devil's Nest. Ling Yao, being the seasoned stalker he is, found out about the party and decided to show up on impulse. Oh, how entertaining this was going to be.
"Who are all of these people?!" Winry shouted as she observed the crowd from her doorway.
"heheh, just a few friends!" Ed answered nervously, hoping she didn't have a wrench nearby. He was quickly answered by a devilish look that told him, 'You better get these people away from my house before I count to five' As she advanced on him, Al quickly intervened.
"W-Winry! Brother and I didn't know all these people would come, have some mercy! Besides.. they came all this way.. We can't just kick em out now. Imagine how much fun it'll be, too!" Winry looked behind Ed and Al at the large crowd of people, and back at the two brothers.
"Oh, fine. But YOU'RE the ones responsible for the mess!" She warned, and turned back to the living room. The two boys cheered, and waved in the rest of the crowd.
It didn't take long for the crowd to get comfortable in the large Rockbell house. In practically no time at all, the stereo had been turned up, the floor had been cleared, and the alcohol came out. Greed (being the one who brought all the alcohol) had opened a mini-bar in the kitchen, whilst his girls were busy dancing on the floor with Envy. Much to everyone's surprise, Envy was a very good-and dirty- dancer. Kimbley had moved in on Lust, who seemed to be enjoying the alchemist's company a little too much. Russel was busy attempting to impress Winry with several made-up stories about mechanics. Al found himself dragged outside to the gardens by Fletcher, hesitant to leave Ed with Russell. Rose was talking with Riza and Sheska, and Ling was perched stalkerish-ly on the banner at the top of the stairs. Nothing seemed out of control.. yet.
"Hey, Ed!" Russell called to Ed as he passed by.
"Hey.." Ed said uncomfortably, standing next to Russell and Winry.
"Ed! Russell was just telling me about how he fixed your arm when you broke it fighting Mugear! Looks like I'm not the only one for you to run to for maintenance anymore, haha!" Winry chimed.
"What?! Russell neber fixed my arm! He doesn't even know anything about mechanics!" Ed fumed.
"Edward, don't be so modest!" Russell joked. "It's okay to admit you got help from someone younger than you"
"Huh?" Winry blurted, looking from to Russell and back, comparing sizes. Then she crouched and whispered in Ed's ear, "He's younger? Are you sure?" Ed snapped.
"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THEY COULD WRESTLE AN ANT AND LOSE?!" He shouted furiously.
"Ed, settle down. You'll break your arm again flailing it around like that, then me and Winry would have to fight over who gets to fix it." Russell said, looking at Winry seductivly. "Of course, I'd have to let her win.. I can't wait to see her at work." She gave out a dreamy sigh as Ed stalked away, fuming.
He took a seat grudgingly at the bar where Greed was mixing a martini and slouched on the counter.
"What's the matter, kid?" Greed asked, taking a tip from Roy as he returned to the crowd with his martini. Ed looked up, hoping his glare would burn holes in Greed's head. It didn't work.
"Whaddo you care?" he muttered, burying his chin in his crossed arms on the bar.
"Well, maybe I can help." he offered, leaning on the bar and looking at Ed. "What's on your mind"
Ed only looked up at him irritably, again wishing a little stronger that he had lazer vision.
"Ah, well," Greed sighed, pulling a small glass and a bottle of clear drink from the cabinet, "Least I can do is help you drown it out." He poured in a half-glass of cola and filled the rest with the cheap vodka. He handed the mixture to the sulking blond, who took it gratefully, and had it down in one gulp.
"More." was all he said, holding the glass out and feeling the warm burn in his throat dissipate quickly.
"And so, the real reason it wouldn't start was because the crank shaft was jammed, like I tried to tell everyone.." Winry sighed, leaning against the wall and sipping her drink. Russell's story had long since bored her to the point of aggravation, but any sign she tried to give him that she really didn't care to hear of the elementary mechanics of his neighbor's car had fell on deaf ears.
Suddenly, a loud cheer from the crowd around the dancefloor made them both look up. A wall of people blocked their view, but whoever was dancing was raising quite a lot of noise amongst the onlookers. Then she noticed the song blaring over the stereo:
"When I come to the club, step aside (oh snap)
Part the seats, don't be havin me in line (oh snap!) V.I.P. cause you know I gotta shine (oh snap!) I'm Fergie Ferg, and me love you long time (oh snap"
"Oh, snap." Winry echoed, pushing her way through the crowd to view the dance floor.
"All my girls get down on the flow, back-to-back drop it down real loww"
"I'm such a lady but I'm dancin like a ho, you know what I don't give a so here we go"
Envy and Ed were on the dancefloor, back to back and doing something..well... something that shouldn't be done around Alphonse or Fletcher. Ed had stripped off his red overcoat, which Envy seemed to enjoy very much as Ed was wearing a rather tight pair of jeans and his black wifebeater. Then Winry realized: Ed was drunk.
"How come every time you come around, my London-london bridge wanna go down like London-london-london wanna go down like London-london-london be goin down like, How come every time you come around.." Winry facepalmed, blushing furiously as the two sang along as they danced very dirty-like.
As the chorus continued, Envy turned so he was facing Ed's back and they continued dancing, very closely. From the looks on their faces, Envy enjoyed Ed being drunk, and either Ed enjoyed being drunk or he enjoyed Envy enjoying him being drunk. (probably both). Envy rocked his hips and ran his hands up Ed's sides as Ed rocked his ass against Envy's thighs. What a scene.
When Envy reached for the button on Ed's pants, Winry decided she'd seen enough. She stormed out on the dance floor, much to the crowd's dismay, and grabbed them both by the arms, glaring at Ed in particular.
"YOU..ARE SOOO... IN FOR IT." Very roughly, she yanked them both off the dancefloor and up the stairs to the privacy of the hall.
"Wh..Winryyy," Ed whined. "We were tryin to dance!" He pulled his arm away drunkenly and glared at her.
"Yea, Rockbell-saan!" Envy added. HE obviously wasn't drunk.
"ED! WHAT are you THINKING! I'm pretty sure Envy's a GUY, you know that, right"
"Of course I'm a guy!" Envy shouted, offended. Winry shot an evil look at him.
"Then take off that stupid mini-skirt!" she retorted, immediately regretting the statement.
"If you insist, Rockbell-san.." He stuck his thumbs under the waist of his skirt and gave a downward tug-
"NO! I didn't mean NOW!" Winry yanked his hands back, blushing furiously. "Just... just..! ARGH, I don't even know what to say!" She grasped fistfulls of her long hair in her exasperation, much to Envy's entertainment.
"You could say, 'Hey Envy, why don't you take Ed in one of these spare rooms and teach him to screw around with a homunculus'" he smirked.
As Winry was about to make another angry remark, Ed suddenly fell to the floor, snorring loudly.
"What the"
"Don't worry, Rockbell-san, he's just passed out from being drunk. I can take care of him"
"What?! No!" CLUNK. Envy somehow aquired a frying pan and managed to whack her over the head with it, succesfully knocking her out.
"So annoying, sheesh!" he complained, picking Ed up and throwing him over his shoulder. "Now, for this one...heehee." He kicked open a nearby bedroom door and locked it behind him, smirking evilly...